Cat Fingers/Transcript

[Open Ext. It's A Wash]

(Greg is washing Mayor Dewey's Van with Steven)

Greg: It's almost done! *sprays van with hose* Steven, get the hubcaps!

Steven: Hubbing it up! *rubs hubcaps with a rag*

Greg: Hub it good! This is a high-profile job.

Steven: You mean cause it's the mayor's election mobile?

Greg: If we do this right, we might get political favors!

Steven: I'm not sure what that is, but I like it!

(Steven sprays the van with the hose and hits Greg by mistake. Greg hits him back, and they start to have a hose fight. They both start laughing, and the mayor walks to them.)

Mayor Dewey: Hey, hey, hey, I'm not paying for father-son bonding here! *Steven accidentally sprays him with the hose* Universe! Control that kid.

Greg: Steven! I'm sorry, Mayor Dewey. Hehe, this one's on the house.

Mayor Dewey: On the house, eh.*stares at van* I like the way you do business, Universe.*climbs into car and drives away.

Car speaker: Mayor Dewey! Mayor Dewey! Mayor Dewey!*Greg sighs*

Steven: *emerges* Political favors! *Greg notices Steven*

Greg: *noogies him* Ahh, you rascal! Enough with the hose fights!

Steven: Uh, okay. *Steven and Greg get splashed by some water, and look down to see a purple cat holding a hose*

Greg: What the?

Steven and Greg: Whoa!

(The cat chases them around the building, spraying them with water.)

Greg: What is with this cat? *The cat then turns into Amethyst*

Amethyst: Haha! Got you guys!

Steven: Amethyst!

Greg: Uh, pretty cool Amethyst.

Steven: Really cool! I wish I could shapeshift like you!

Amethyst: *ties knot in hose* You could probably learn.

Steven: Really?

Amethyst: Sure. *pulls up Steven's shirt* You've got a gem.

Greg: Whup! Magic stuff. Should I get out of here? Is there going to be an explosion?

Steven: Oh, it's no big deal dad. *pulls shirt down*

Amethyst: *shapeshifts into Steven* Yeah, it's fiiiiine.

Greg: Aah!

[Trans. Int. Beach House]

Amethyst: Hey Pearl. *shapeshifts into seal* Arp, arp!

(Steven laughs.)

Steven: Do more!

Amethyst: Check it out. *Amethyst shapeshifts into wolf and Pearl stares blankly* Aawwooo!* shapeshifts into Purple Puma* Raaa! *shapeshifts into a jay and perches on Steven's head*

Steven: Whoa! *Pearl walks over*

Pearl: Amethyst, you're overdoing it.

Amethyst: Uh, chill it dude~.

Pearl: Just because you can shapeshift, doesn't mean you should.

Steven: Can you shapeshift? * Amethyst shapeshifts into Pearl*

Pearl: Well of course...

(Amethyst butts in and shapeshifts into Pearl)

Amethyst: Well of course I can~, I'm per~fect! *hits her butt* WOMP! WOMP!

(Pearl pushes Amethyst to the side and Amethyst tumbles away laughing.)

Pearl: All Gems have shapeshift powers, Steven. *projects hologram* We can turn into objects,we can change parts of our bodies or...we could do that. *looks at Amethyst who is still smacking her butt*

Amethyst: WOMP! WOMP!

Steven: I want to try it all!

Pearl: Don't bite off more than you can chew, Steven.

Amethyst: WOMP, WOMP!

Pearl: Ugh! *goes outside and Amethyst turns back into herself*

Steven: Alright! Show me how to change into a, uh, huge lion!

Amethyst: Actually, for once Pearl is right. If you're gonna do this, you've gotta start with something easy.

Steven: Like that cat you turned into?

Amethyst: That sounds good. Now follow my lead. First, think of what you wanna be, and then, just shake it out. *Amethyst demonstrates for Steven* See? Now your turn.

Steven: Okay. *breathes in and tries* Caaatttt!

Amethyst: Nah, you're too tense. Just feel it *eats potato chip* Bio-rhythms, yo.

Steven: Feeeelll iittt.

Amethyst: If you're not ready, we can try later.

Steven: No, wait! I can do it. *Amethyst shapeshifts back into herself and Steven starts "feeling it"* Yeah, yeah. HUH!

Amethyst: Well, it was a good try. *meow noise comes out of nowhere, and Steven opens his palm to see a cat finger*

Cat Finger: Rraow, Rraow!

Amethyst:*laughing*

Steven: This is so cool!

Amethyst: You should go show your dad. He's gonna freak out!

Cat Finger: Rreow!

[Trans Exft. It's A Wash]

Steven: Dad, I'm back!

Greg: Hey, stu-ball.

Steven: Check it out! *shows cat finger to his dad, and Greg drops his water bottle on Steven* I shapeshifted my finger into a cat!

Greg: Whoa! Is, is that a thing you can do now? That's pretty... cool.

Steven: I know, right! I'm gonna take this show on the road! *Steven starts laughing*

Cat Finger: Meow! Row! Reaw!

[Trans. Int. Big Donut]

Sadie: That'll be a dollar 'o five Steven.

Steven: Alright. Here's a nickel. And a buck! *hold up cat finger* *cat meows*

Sadie and Lars: Whaaat!?!

Sadie. Oh Steven, that's adorable! *Sadie pets the cat with her finger, which starts to purr* Are...you making it purr?

Steven: It kinda does what it wants.

Lars: Really? *he roughly pokes the cat and it bites him* Yow!

Steven: See what I mean? Bad cat finger!

Sadie: Oh, I'm sure it just wants to play.

Steven: You're right! And he doesn't have any friends.

Lars: *Mockingly* Oh my gosh. It's just like you, Steven. *Steven breathes in and conjures four more cat fingers, then laughs*

Steven: Huzzah!

[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]

Steven: Hey, Peedee! Whoa, you work the deep-frier now? *slams fist on the counter* Make me some fry bits!

Peedee: Steven, I take my job seriously, please use the the actual menu.

Steven: Give me the bits! *slams fist* The bits!

Fryman: Listen, it'll be over sooner if you just give him what he wants. *Peedee sighs*

Steven: Whoa, whoa, it's not for me. It's fo' THESE GUYS. *holds up cat fingers*

Fryman: What the?

Peedee: Uh, here's your...* looks at the cat fingers* ...bits. *the cats start to eat the bits*

Fryman: I can't look away.

Peedee: Steven, that is freakish.

Steven: No it's not. It's natural. *shakes fingers on other hand* Sha-ape...shift! *fingers on other hand turn into cats* See!

Peedee and Fryman: Whoa!

Fryman: You know who would love this? Your older brother. Hey Ronaldo!

Ronaldo: Hey daa..*gasps, drops box, and pushes Peedee to the side* I've gotta take a pic for Keep Beach City Weird! *takes out phone and snaps picture*

Cat Fingers: MEOW!

Steven: What's that?

Ronaldo: It's my blog. Keep! Beach! City! Weird! (does hand actions) *Peedee groans*

Steven: Can I see the picture? *Steven takes the phone and the cats whine in agony* Yikes! *drops phone* Sorry guys. I guess cat fingers don't function well as fingers.

[Trans. Int. Steven's House]

Steven:Tsk, I'm just getting a snack! *cat fingers whine and Steven pulls a sandwich out*

Amethyst: Steven! Need some help?

Steven: Nah, it's cool.

Amethyst: Oh gooood! See ya later then.

Steven: Huh?

Amethyst: We're taking the Gem Sloop out to sea to fight a living island.

Steven: What? *drops sandwich* Uh, Amethyst, wait! I wanna go on the gem sloop!

[Trans. Ext. Steven's House]

Steven: I wanna see a living island! WAIT! WAIT! *runs down stairs and to the dock* WAIT!* Steven runs into the water to catch up to the gem sloop*

Pearl: Steven! *Amethyst laughs*

Amethyst: C'mon, you can make it! *the cats meow when Steven starts to paddle and the gems gasp*

Pearl: Steven, what's going on?

Steven: It's nothing! Ah-I just turned all my fingers into cats!

Amethyst: *snorts*

Pearl: We have to stay,and help Steven!

Garnet: We can't. This is a tectonic emergency. We'll deal with Steven once we get back.

Pearl: Amethyst, I blame YOU for this.

Amethyst: Eah, that's fair.

Pearl: Grrr! Steven, just try to stay calm!

[Trans. Int. Steven's House]

Steven: Enough! No more cat fingers! I want Steven fingers!....And I don't mean little me heads on fingers, I mean my REGULAR fingers! Uggghhh! *a spot on his head turns into a cat, then his arm turns into a cat* Wha! Aahhh! Stop! *his foot turns into a cat* Amethyst! *various parts of his body turn into cats* Pearl!...Garnet! *Gasp!* Dad!

[Trans. Ext. It's A Wash]

Greg: *hoses the ground while singing along to his headphone music and hears a bang* Hello? Who's there? *cat-covered Steven crawls in* We're closed,come back tomorooaaaah!!! *sprays Steven with hose*

Steven: Dad!

Greg: Huh? *sees Steven's face among the cats* Steven?

Steven: Dad! *starts tearing up* Help!,The cat fingers are taking over my body!

Greg: Hold on, I'll get you out of there! *a cat bites him and throws him to the side*

Steven: No! Bad! Bad cat fingers!* he steps in a puddle and the cats makes him jump to the roof*

Greg: Can't you make them go away?

Steven: I tried, but it made it worse! My life is over! I can't go on magic adventures! I can't even open the fridge! And I'll never get to have another water fight with you dad! Because these things hate...water! They hate water! Dad, spray me again! *Greg sprays him and he jumps down.Then, the cats run towards Greg*

Greg: Aaahahahaaahhh!

Steven: It's not enough water! *gasp* Turn on the super-wash!

Greg: No, I won't do it! It's too dangerous!

Steven: You've got to! I'm a monster! I'm an adorable cat monster! *Greg starts tearing up*

Greg: No you're not! You're my son!

Steven: Dad! Please! Aahhh! *cats engulf his body*

[Trans. Int. It's A Wash]

(Greg flips three switches and presses a button, enabling the super-wash. Steven then crawls in. The jets spray Steven on all sides. He then goes through two waxers, and another set of jets. Greg rushes to the opening and picks up a hose, ready to attack any remaining cats)

[Trans. Ext. It's A Wash]

Steven: Dad. *Steven's clothes are all ripped* We did it.

(One of Steven's fingers is still a cat, so Greg hoses it, while they both scream)

[Trans. Ext. Steven's House]

(Steven is sitting on the dock, and the Gems arrive)

Pearl: Steven! *climbs onto dock and holds his hand* Okay, let me see it. W-? Y-you got them to go away?

(Steven smiles)

Pearl: It just goes to show, always listen to me, and never listen to Amethyst.

Amethyst: That's fair.

Garnet: It goes to show, you should have a little more faith in Steven. *Pearl blushes*

Steven: Yeah, that would have been a total CAT-tastrophe!

Amethyst and Pearl: *sarcastically* Hahahahaha...

Steven: But I'm feeling much better MEOW!

* The Gems moan*

Steven: Ehhh? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

Garnet: Okay, that's enough.

* The Gems walk away*

Steven: Wait, I've been coming up with cat jokes all morning. You guys, I'm FELINE fine. Everything's PURRRRFECT! Oh come on!, I'm just KITTEN around!

[End]