Talk:Alone at Sea/@comment-28750595-20160729144440

by tumblr user :lapis-lazooli

(links removed because i'm not sure this wikis police on them but the post number is /post/148120865774/a-look-into-alone-at-sea-and-abuse for those who want it)

a look into ‘alone at sea’ and abuse.i’m gonna’ be covering a few things after tonight’s episodes, including warning for mentions of abuse and assault.
 * lapis’ symptoms as an abuse survivor with ptsd, including self blaming and stockholm syndrome
 * jasper’s actions, and how she is fully capable of redemption, but is still currently resemblant of an abuser 
 * rebecca’s involvement with the episode and direction of the story and how this is important for survivors 

first off, a very important detail about rebecca and the episode: rebecca has stated in panels that lapis was created originally as part of a comic she made called ‘margo in bed’, after she got out of a ‘bad relationship.’ the comic centers heavily around manipulation and abuse in relationships. i recommend you take a look at it here . it depicts proto-lapis being abused and sexually harassed by another character, who following up from evidence found by other people about rebecca’s life, there is no denying that rebecca has been in a toxic and potentially abusive relationship. i will not share this evidence out of respect, and i do not condone digging through her private life for hints of this, and i ask that you all show the utmost respect to her and her experiences. i only bring this up as it is important to why rebecca boarded the episode, and how her feelings tie into how the relationship between jasper and lapis is portrayed. this episode is really important for me and thousands of other abuse survivors, and i want to honor rebecca’s choices with the episode by bringing light to all the choices she made with it.
 * attempts to pin the bad actions on a 3rd party
 * attempts to make proto-lapis feel as though she is safe with him, and that he is the ‘good guy’ who gives her something to gain from their relationship
 * grabs her by the wrist and pulls her close, resting his hand on her lower back and leaning in to her face, despite her audibly saying “i’m not ready for this” and backing away, clearly scared
 * keeps a firm hold on her until she is able to pull back, causing her to fall down a (potentially lethal) flight of stairs

moving on to the show, the most important question to address is:

was lapis the abuser? malachite was mutually toxic - however, jasper had the most influence at the start and end of the fusion. the scene where she attempts to convince lapis to fuse with her was very clearly emotional manipulation - she tries to paint the CGs as the villains despite steven actually helping and freeing lapis, and baits lapis with the idea of revenge on her captors. she also physically grabs lapis by the arms and legs, asserting her power over her, making it impossible for her to fly away or escape. when lapis agrees to the fusion, she is doing it out of revenge for jasper and for the protection of steven; there is no denying that this was a bad choice and was ultimately the wrong thing to do, but it is very important to keep in mind the manipulation and the situation that lapis was in prior to fusing. if she had said no, she could have been poofed or even crushed by jasper before she had a chance to escape or overpower her. jasper was also the one who put the vengeful feelings in her mind, effecting her choice. while this was a bad decision on lapis’ part, it is important to acknowledge jasper’s huge role in it.

lapis is responsible for keeping jasper held down under the ocean for months, however, whenever jasper gained control of the fusion, she intentionally kept it fused for power. jasper was the one gaining from the relationship, and made the conscious choice to keep malachite fused for her own sake. when she gained control in the mind, instead of overpowering lapis, she chose to try to violently attack steven. when she gained control again on the island, finally breaking free of the chains - she manipulated lapis again, trying to convince her that there was still something good to be gained from the fusion for both of them. she uses lapis’ exhaustion against her and overpowers the fusion, letting malachite consume both of them and become an angry machine of destruction.

so basically, while malachite was toxic on both sides and both parties suffered during the fusion, jasper was equally responsible as lapis for keeping it fused and using it for a cruel purpose. it was bad for both of them; netiher is 100% responsible for what happened. but jasper held the most influence in both starting and ending the fusion. lapis just took care of the middle.

can jasper be redeemed? absolutely. i understand and am aware of the stigma towards larger women both in the series in real life, and i have seen how this effects fan attitudes towards many characters - a large majority of fan theories revolve around bismuth, rose quartz and amethyst, and how they are secretly evil or some garbage like that. this is wrong. they all have character flaws, yes, but none of them have even been shown to allign with the enemy, and they are all on the good team; the crystal gems. trying to twist them and paint them as villains or betrayers is honestly disgusting.

as for jasper, though, she has still made no conscious effort to fix her past actions, which are undeniably bad. this, of course, is in relation to her lack of screen time, but as of present, she is still a villain. she is still currently defined by her aggressive and toxic actions. this does not mean she is a bad character though - it is perfectly fine to like her how she is, or support a redemption arc, or anything. i personally love jasper, and can’t wait to see how her arc develops her. but it is irresponsible to try to push any and all blame off her back. she’s done bad things, and still needs to learn from them. and it’ll be great if she does, because i believe it is important to positively represent larger and poc coded women without the villainous associations.

is lapis innocent? no. she attacked the gems, stole an ocean, broke a leg, tried to drown kids, broke peridot’s comfort item and contributed to a toxic fusion. she has done her fair share of awful things in the show. but the main difference between her and jasper is that she’s actually learned from these experiences and worked to make herself a better person. she has shown very explicit guilt at her past and has even denied herself any basic form of happiness or comfort on account of them. she has apologized, and she has improved herself. she is by no means ‘innocent’, but honestly? no one in the show is. everyone has made a mistake of a huge magnitude, and everyone is responsible for some kind of bad action. but lapis is among those who have shown that they are more than their mistakes, and have owned up to them. the show is about forgiveness and moving on. and i believe this applies to both lapis and jasper.

what symptoms does lapis show as an abuse survivor? how do jasper’s actions in 'alone at sea’ point to her being abusive? lapis’ reaction to these things only emphasizes the theme of abuse. lapis is fully aware that the relationship was toxic and unhealthy, and puts her foot down to put an end to it. she says no. with all the emphasis on self-respect and consent in the show lately (almost every episode of the steven nuke so far involves this theme somehow), it is really important that this episode ties it up so perfectly. it is okay to say no. you do not have to suffer for someone else’s gain, no matter how much you want to or feel like it’s the right thing to do. this is such an important message, to everyone, and i am so amazed to see it being explored so accurately in a children’s cartoon.
 * trust issues. lapis clearly shows hostility towards peridot, and understandably so, as peridot contributed to her capture. it is difficult for her to even imagine that peridot may have changed, and she lashes out at her, hurting her emotions in the process. lapis later realizes her mistake, and comes to realize that peridot was capable of change and has become a good person. struggling to trust someone you once thought was bad is a huge victim symptom.
 * self blaming. in most cases of abuse, the victim will often blame themself and look back upon past events thinking everything is their fault. in lapis’ case, she obviously did many things wrong, and made bad choices. however, in alone at sea, she goes to almost unreasonable measures to label herself as a horrible person - she consistently brings up her past mistakes and tears herself apart for them. “it’s my fault. i’m the one to blame.” “i’m terrible, i did horrible things!” “go on, tell me i’m wrong!” abuse victims will always focus on their own actions, and use them to justify what happened to them. it’s a process of coping with the things they’ve been through - they try to feel as if they deserved the trauma they’ve experienced to rationalize it.
 * stockholm syndrome. lapis clearly says she misses jasper, and even heavily considers refusing with her. after being trapped in an abusive relationship for a long time, people will feel out of place at the thought of leaving it, and can even develop even stronger feelings for their abusers, craving their company. lapis spent so long as malachite that she became malachite, and she feels incomplete without jasper.
 * chasing. jasper has been following lapis for a long period of time, trying to find her across the entire globe. abusers will often chase down their victims, and some victims have to go to extensive measures to escape them.
 * pinning the blame. a technique used by abusers to make the victim feel responsible for what is happening - exaggerating their mistakes and making a statement to outsiders that they are the bad person in the relationship. “you can’t lie to me. i’ve seen what you’re capable of. i thought i was a brute. but you, you’re a monster.”
 * gaslighting. detailing the victim’s mistakes and how awful they were, then continuing to want to be with them and act like nothing is wrong. jasper says that lapis is monstrous, and then begs to be with her, displaying her monstrosity as a good thing, instead.
 * publicly dennouncing them. to make the victim feel even more guilty, they will publicly humiliate them, sometimes in front of thousands. this is often seen in faux-callout posts made by abusers. “you’re pointing that shield the wrong way. she’s the one you should be afraid of.”
 * asking to get back together. “it’ll be better this time, i’ve changed! you’ve changed me!” even after seeing how much malachite effected them both, jasper continues to try to get lapis to be with her again, to the point of near-begging. despite saying she only wants malachite for power, jasper still acts as if she knows the true extent of fusion and what it involves. while lapis only missed malachite out of stockholm, jasper genuinely enjoyed being malachite and all the power it gave her.
 * physical intimidation. she backs lapis into a corner, throws steven aside, grasps lapis’ arm and makes loud noises.
 * aggression to being refused. as soon as lapis refuses to….re-fuse, jasper pins the blame on steven, rather than acknowledging it as a genuine choice of lapis’. she threatens to shatter him and steps angrily towards him. lapis punting her back out to sea saved steven’s life.
 * “i was terrible to you. i liked taking everything out on you. i needed you, i hated you. it was bad.”
 * “no! what we had wasn’t healthy. i never wanna’ feel like i felt with you. never again.”

so basically: <p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:10px;color:rgb(34,131,201);font-family:courier;font-size:12px;font-weight:normal;line-height:16.8px;text-align:justify;">thank you for reading.
 * lapis and jasper are both responsible for malachite, and lapis is not completely innocent, but jasper’s actions are undeniably abusive and manipulative
 * jasper is very resemblant of an abuser, however is fully capable of redemption and should not be cast aside for her body type or race coding
 * this episode is very important for abuse survivors learning to cope with the guilt, and teaches people that it’s okay to say 'no’