Log Date 7 15 2/Transcript

Peridot: Log date: 7 15 2... I can't believe I just did that! I disobeyed my orders and went against Yellow Diamond's wishes! I'm a traitorous clod! I never want to think about what I've done again! *rewinds tape recorder* "I'm a traitorous clod!" Yehahaha! *laughing* And I called Yellow Diamond a clod right to her face! *kneels down* *devastated* I called Yellow Diamond a clod... right to her face!

Steven: Uh, Peridot? Are you gonna be okay?

Peridot: *rewinds tape again* "I'm a traitorous clod! Traitorous clod!" *She smiles at him widely and happily* No!

Steven: It's all gonna work out. You're with us now.

Peridot: *gets up* You don't understand! I'm protecting a planet I was once trying to destroy! I used to follow every order. Every Rule. Now I'm a traitor. A rebel! *pupils turn into stars* A Crystal Gem! Mmmmhmhmhm! *rewinds tape repeatedly* "Clod! Clod! Clod!"

Steven: Well... that tape recorder seems to be helping.

Peridot: *throws tape recorder* No it's not! *The tape recorder hits Garnet in the face.* It's a chronicle of my descendence into madness!

Garnet: *walks to Peridot with the tape recorder* You dropped this.

Peridot: *crawls on the floor* Get it away from me. Give it to Steven. Return madness to its source!

Steven: Are you sure you don't want it? *Garnet drops the recorder into Steven's hands.*

Peridot: *holding her face* Whatever, it's yours now. Yours, not mine, not mine! Yours! Yours!

Garnet: *puts her hand on Peridot's shoulder* Let's calm down.

Peridot: ... Okay. *Garnet picks her up and carries her away* So am I gonna have to wear a star? Where am I gonna put the star?!

Steven: They seem to be getting along well. I wonder when that happened... *looks at the tape recorder in his hand*

* Steven looks awkwardly away and presses the rewind button on the tape recorder.*

Tape Recorder: "Log date 7 11 2. The Steven has given me this Earth machine to replace my communicator log. It looks... extremely primitive". He also said he wanted me to stop calling him "The Steven".

Steven: It's just Steven.

Tape Recorder: I said I'll call him whatever I want.

Peridot: *hisses* He told me that was rude.

Steven: Rude.

Tape Recorder: I guess I'll call him... Steven.

Tape Recorder: The organic life forms of Earth have fascinating traits despite their poor choice of residence. I wonder if all of them of have flight capabilities.

* Peridot climbs atop of Greg's barn as she stares at Greg, hammering the roof.*

Greg: Ohh, you must be Peridot.

* She stares intently at him awhile Greg getting nervous. Peridot pushes Greg over the roof.*

Greg: Wha-whaaaa.......!

* Garnet catches Greg.*

Garnet: Peridot!

Peridot: What do you want?

Garnet: You can't just shove someone off an roof!

Peridot: Why not?

Garnet: This is a human, he isn't like us. He's fragile and soft.

Greg: Hey, it's not like a six pack is going to save you from that height.

Garnet: You could've seriously hurt him!

Peridot: Well, how was I supposed to know that?

Garnet: Hmm. Greg have to excuse Peridot. She's far from her homeworld and she still has a lot to learn about our planet.

Peridot: No I don't!

Garnet: Yes you do!

Greg: Ahh, hey yeah don't worry about it.

Peridot: Gahhh!

Tape Recorder: In conclusion not all of the organic beings here can fly. Additionally it is without question that the permafusion Garnet is the worst.

Tape Recorder: Today I was assigned a "chore" - cleaning duty. Like I'm the pearl. These clods are lucky that they have me. Although while doing "chore", I did happen upon a container containing many... "shirts". Imagine, appearance modifiers that aren't melted to your body.

Peridot: Ohhh hehehehe.

Garnet: Nice shorts.

Peridot: Ahh! How did these get here! *rips apart the shorts in an act of surprise*

Tape Recorder: Log Date 7 1 22. Today marks the 30th earth rotation since my... Capture.

Steven: Happy one month can-niversary!

Peridot: Cylinders?

Steven: They're stilts. You tie them on to your feet and then make you taller. I try to spruce them up a bit. I don't know what it is about flames, but they just make everything cooler.

Peridot: Why are you giving me these?

Steven: Because I want you to feel nice. That what gifts are for. You give them to your friends to show you care. And they go "woah thanks".

Peridot: Hef! as if I'd stup so low as to tie earth trash to my body. Leave me! Go-go-go-go! And woah thanks!

[Peridot inside the barn]

Peridot: Why yes Pearl, I did get taller. How correct for you to notice. Of course Amethyst I will acquire those cheesy chaaps for you off that very high shelf. *jumps and stumbles* Hahaha! They even function in reverse! *slips and fall all over herself*

Peridot: Jokes. *clears throat* Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken wanted to get to the other side of the road. Ahhh hahaha! What's a chicken?

Tape Recorder: It seems the earth ones are constantly filling the voids of their life with meaningless distractions.

Camp Pining Hearts: On the last episode of Camp Pining Hearts. I don't care if you're on the yellow team Percy. We can make this work. It's cooler [I have no idea what he just said]. Does that mean anything to you?

Peridot: What is this strange ritual?

Steven: Uhh, that's umm-

Peridot: Are they attempting fusion?

Steven: No, well, my dad told me during certain stages in your life...

Peridot: How could anyone indulge in this baseless dribble, I'll have no part of it.

Tape Recorder: Hour 78 of Camp Pining Hearts.

Perci/Peridot: It's the color war Poulette, doesn't that mean anything to you?

Steven: Uh, you've been here for a few days, is everything okay?

Peridot: I've just been.. watching your previously recorded entertainment.

Steven: Is that.. the same episode from three days ago?

Peridot: There's more than one?

Steven: Ummmm, nah.

Steven: Oh, you made a picture. *Steven reaches down to pick up a paper in front of Peridot*

Peridot: Picture? This isn't just a picture Steven! It's a complex chart catalouging the compatible characteristics between campers. Somehow the rejects at "Camp Clod" fail to recognize the superior pair that is Pierre and Perci.

Steven: Well, that's because Poulette likes Perci.

Peridot: Poulette? Ha! Poulette has no place in the camp's hierarchy. Now Pierre, Pierre is a brute, Pierre laid waste to the three legged races! Pierre and Perci present the strongest battle formation, they'd destroy the camp!

Steven: You got all this from one episode?

Peridot: It's subtext Steven. Allow me to explain. Well first of all Percy and Pierre are...

(Steven looks down at the tape recorder annoyed.)

Steven: I remember this part. *Steven presses the fast forward button*

Peridot [Slowed down audio from fast forwarded segment]: ??? leaving his ??? not to mention Percy ??? by about a foot ??? he would have won the canoe race if he weren't so busy drooling over Poulette, and the other part where Perci goes to the bottom of the lake to get Poulette's friendship bracelet ??? entire camp ??? And Pierre is a force to be reckoned with on land, we see ??? *Steven stops fast forwarding the tape*

(Steven is asleep on the floor while Garnet listens to the end of Peridot's explanation.)

Peridot: And that's why Perci and Pierre are objectively the best for each other!

(Garnet gives Peridot a thumbs up causing her to angrily tears up her chart.)

[Peridot outside the barn with Pearl and Garnet]

Peridot: Log Date 7 13 2. Progress on the Cluster drill is going optimal, surprisingly. Though I have complaints on the work ethic of─

(Amethyst cuts in, shape-shifted as Lion.)

Amethyst: Heey!

(Peridot is startled by Amethyst.)

Amethyst: Ahahahahaha!

Pearl: *Lifts her welding shield* Amethyst, really. This is no time to be fooling around.

Amethyst: Awww c'mon, P. I'm just tryna, lion the mood. Lion the mood.

(Pearl brings her face shield again and grumbles from the pun.)

Peridot: Do you always use shape-shifting like this?

Amethyst: You mean to be really cool? *Shape-shifts into Peridot* Pretty much.

Peridot: But it's such a... (Amethyst copies her) significant use of energy compared to the output!

Peridot: What was that?

Amethyst: I've been practicing my Peri-phrasing. Pretty impressive in my opinion, but it's hard to beat the original.

Peridot: *blushes* Hehehe. So, can you shift into anything?

Amethyst: Sure. *Shifts back into original form* Got a request?

(Peridot thinks)

Amethyst: *Runs around the field, shifted as a chicken* Bawk, bawk! I'm a chicken! Ahahaha!

Peridot: Hahahahaha! I get the joke now!

Pearl: Hah! Yes well, at least she isn't lion around anymore. *Chuckles*

Peridot: *seemingly faking* Ahahahahaha!

Tape Recorder: Pearl really tries for some reason and I can appreciate that. Amethyst's company is entertaining as well. But, the fused one...

(Garnet gives a thumbs up to Peridot.)

Tape Recorder: ...Eludes me.

Pearl: Okay. We can add more support as we go, but for now we just have to pick it up and put it on top.

Amethyst: No sweat. *Shifts into Purple Puma* Let's do this!

Pearl: You've got the right idea, but we might wanna be a bit more careful.

Amethyst: *Shifts back into original form* Gotcha. *Clears throat* Shall we?

(Pearl nods and they dance to form Opal.)

Peridot: *stops typing on keyboard* Huh? Wah!

(Opal stretches and brings the drill on two wooden supports.)

Garnet: That looks great. Let's take a break. *Walks offscreen*

Peridot: Wha? *Looks at Opal to see her wiping her forehead and then runs to Garnet who was sitting on a hay stack* Alright, I'm at my limit.

Garnet: Evening, Peridot.

Peridot: Explain it to me, Fusion. I can at least make sense of your existence if it's for a functional purpose, but you? You're not using your combined size and strength to do anything!

Garnet: I'm doing something.

Peridot: And what's that?

Garnet: Stargazing.

Peridot: Ugh. You can do that alone.

Garnet: Don't want to.

Peridot: Hm.

(Garnet invites Peridot to sit beside her, and Peridot sighs before sitting beside her.)

Garnet: You can see Homeworld's galaxy from here.

Peridot: You're right.

Garnet: We're very different. I appreciate that.

Peridot: Really?

Garnet: If you really want to understand fusion, I can help you.

Peridot: What do you mean?

Garnet: Let's fuse.

Peridot: Oh my stars! *Falls off hay stack and get up blushing while brushing the dirt off her clothes*

Garnet: Ha, I get it. You're not ready, that's fair. Another time then.

Peridot: No! Hah, no no no. Just- just give me a sec! *Walks offscreen*

(Garnet plays the record player, and Peridot appears with her cylindrical stilts on. They start to dance.)

Garnet: Get ready.

(Peridot lets go of Garnet's hand as she was being twirled.)

Peridot: Ah! No no no no no! *Stumbles backwards but managed to retain her balance* I can't do it.

Garnet: That's fine. Peridot, I'm proud of you.

Peridot: Why!?

Garnet: Because you've made an effort to understand me.

Peridot: But I still don't understand you! Why are you fused all the time!?

Garnet: I'm Perci and Pierre.

Peridot: Ohhhhh.

(Steven presses the fast forward button)

Tape Recorder: (Peridot) Okay, go. (Garnet) Log date (Steven gasps) Seven Fourteen Two. (Peridot) No, you say it "Seven One Four Two"! Ugh, log date 7 14 2. I have attempted a fusion with the fusion Garnet. I had hoped to gain a better understanding of fusion. Instead, I gained a better understanding of Garnet. (Garnet) Wait, keep on a moment. Steven, you probably shouldn't have listened to Peridot's logs. But I know your curiosity can show a place of caring. You should give the recorder back to her, now. She's going to want to keep it. (Peridot) Wait, what?

(Steven stops the tape recorder as Garnet and Peridot walk in.)

Steven: Here, Peridot. *Hands over tape recorder* Take this back.

Peridot: Wow, thanks.

(Garnet does a thumbs up along with Steven. Peridot also does this, blushing, as a star irises out on her.)

[END]