Camp Pining Hearts

"Camp Pining Hearts" is a teen drama/soap opera set in a summer camp that first appeared in the episode "Log Date 7 15 2".

Plot
Much of the show's content and characters have as of yet not been established, but so far the show consists of a drama between teams of campers competing against one another.

Characters

 * Paulette - A member of the blue team during the Color War. Percy's love interest. Voiced by Deedee Magno-Hall.
 * Percy - A member of the yellow team during the Color War. Paulette's love interest. Voiced by Michaela Dietz. In the episode Peridot watches, he goes to the bottom of the lake to retrieve Paulette's friendship bracelet and competes in a canoe race, which Peridot thinks he would have won if he wasn't distracted by his interest in Paulette.
 * Pierre (mentioned only) - Peridot deems him and Percy to be the most compatible and "superior" pair. He's good at various events at the camp, such as the three-legged-races, and is a "force to be reckoned with" on land. There's not much information about him but overall based on Peridot's explanation, Pierre is a skilled camper.
 * At least three other unidentified characters, according to Peridot's chart.

Peridot's fast-forwarded audio
Lauren Zuke hints on Twitter that Peridot's rant that Steven fast-forwards through may have subtext. By slowing down and equalising the audio, more of her speech about the characters is just about audible.


 * "... using his pogo stick to save her. Not to mention Percy is adept at aquatic sports. He would have won the canoe race if he weren't so busy drooling over Paulette, and the other part where Percy dives to the bottom of the lake to get Paulette's friendship bracelet proves that he has the largest lung capacity in the entire camp. And Pierre is a force to be reckoned with on land. When he hung bunk seven's underwear in the tree, the whole - ."

Trivia
"As one of Canada's leading ethical pharmaceutical companies we have researched and developed products of the finest quality to the well-being of Canadians since 1954. Today is no different. The success of Astra depends upon our ability to make the right moves at the right time."
 * The series has at least 5 seasons.
 * Steven considers the fifth season "trash".
 * Camp Pining Hearts appears to take place in Canada (or Steven Universe's alternate universe equivalent). Paulette is holding a flag which resembles the Canadian flag with green instead of red.
 * Additionally, Paulette carries a jug of maple syrup and Percy carries a tray of poutine, both food products typically found in Canada.
 * Peridot's behavior regarding Camp Pining Hearts is meant to mirror that of real life fans, specifically on the matter of "shipping" - the desire for certain characters to end up in a relationship.
 * Peridot drew a shipping chart with 6 characters and 4 possible pairings. She thinks Pierre and Percy are the optimal pairing because of their talents, and doesn't ship Paulette with anyone because she doesn't think she has any place in the camp hierarchy. She forms this opinion after watching the first episode on repeat for 78 hours straight (not knowing that there was more than one episode). Afterwards, she does a long-winded presentation of the evidence long and boring enough to lull Steven to sleep.
 * Garnet heard the end of Peridot's shipping rant, and later compared herself to Pierre and Percy to help Peridot understand why she was fused all the time. Pierre and Percy made a good team, as do Ruby and Sapphire.
 * During her shipping rant, Peridot pulled out a stack of notes, including another shipping chart that she ripped up in excitement.
 * Both charts have straight green lines between the yellow & blue faces and wavy blue lines between the green & indigo faces.
 * The draft chart has a straight purple line between the green & magenta faces and a wavy red line between the orange & magenta faces.
 * The final chart has a straight purple line between the yellow & indigo faces and a wavy red line between the orange & blue faces.
 * The star & rainbow / comet production company logo at the beginning of the tape resembles the symbol on one of Mabel Pines' sweaters in "Gravity Falls".
 * The concept of lovers on opposing teams such as this is evocative of the Broadway musical "West Side Story", which in turn was based on "Romeo and Juliet" by William Shakespeare.
 * The visual style and the animation implies that the show might be some kind of anime.
 * The show seems to be a take on the real-life cartoon reality show "Total Drama Island", which is also set in a Canadian summer camp.
 * Slowing down the recording even further reveals a second audio track: A clip from an old ad, which is sometimes used as a stock sound effect for fast-forwarded tapes: