Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-29839052-20150720023301/@comment-25908355-20150724111729

Sard via intercom: Okay! Welcome to my test-chamber! Here, we will test the following:

-Military Grade Lasers

-Anti-Gravity Gell

-Time travel

Okay, so, the military grade lasers, simple, we'll test your reflexes, and if you're too slow to dodge them, we'll see how quickly they manage to cut! Please, have good reflexes, I don't want to see that again, last time it happened we needed 7 bottles of detergent to wash the carpets, and there's still a stain on them.

Anti-gravity gell! Okay, we've been tinkering with the possibilites of anti-gravitons canceling out ordinary gravitons and thus generating anti-gravity, which, in theory, will push you up! Basically, like a bouncy gel! Let's hope it works this time, last poor sod who tested it broke every bone in his legs. Tragic. Truly tragic.

Time travel! We have added a series of walls in the chamber that will decay over time, but incredibly slowly! You will have to use our new fast-travel ray (TM) to make them accelerate in time and decay quicker! Also, if you point it at yourself, you'll age so fast you may turn to dust, so be careful. And, if at any point in the test you see a version of yourself from the past/future, whatever you do, don't look at him in the eyes. My calculations say that it my tear the fabric of spacetime apart, which will have consequences far grater than anything we may think of. So, do both of you a favour and leave that sly devil to go on his buisness. Or, her buisness. I don't really know.