Space Race/Transcript

[Open Int. Galaxy Warp]

* The Gems warp in*

Steven: Whoa.

Garnet: *Checking a warp pad* Inactive.

Steven: *Grunts* *Slaps Stickers onto the inactive warp pad*

Amethyst: *Grunts* Inactive.

Steven: *Breathing heavily* *Slaps sticker onto the inactive warp pad*

Pearl: Inactive. *Steven slaps a sticker on the inactive warp pad she's standing on*

Amethyst: Do we have to check all of them? They're all still inactive, like always.

Garnet: We need to make sure.

Steven: I've never seen so many warp pads before! I hope I have enough of these Crying Breakfast Friends stickers. Where do all these warp pads go, anyway?

Pearl: Well, Steven, these warp pads were used to travel off-planet. They were our connection to the Gem home world and to Gem-controlled planets all over the universe.

Steven: *Gasps* You mean we could go anywhere we want in outer space?

Amethyst: Yeah, we could do that if they weren't all busted.

Pearl: It's true. The galaxy warps have all been inactive for thousands of years.

Steven: Can't we fix them?

Garnet: No.

Pearl: It's fine. *Chuckles* I'll always have my memories of other worlds. But now I'm here... on Earth... Forever.

Steven: With me!

Pearl: Right. with you. It really is incredible out there, though. I wish you could see it, Steven.

[Trans. ext. It's A Wash]

TV: *Crying* *both crying* *all crying* Stay tuned for another episode of Crying Breakfast Friends!

Greg: Yeesh. I must be getting old. I used to like cartoons.

Steven: Hey, Dad, did you know the Gems used to travel all over outer space?

Greg: *Chuckles* Yeah. They're pretty far out, son.

Steven: I think Pearl really misses going out there. *Gasps* Dad, can you help me build a spaceship?

Greg: You know, that might be a little outside my skill set. How 'bout a bunk bed with wings? I could probably do that.

Steven: No way! We could totally build a spaceship! People have done it before, and we're people.

Greg: We are people.

Steven: And Pearl would love it so much to see space again.

Greg: Sure. Why not? How hurt could we get?

[Trans. ext. toolshed]

Greg: My aunt and uncle had a great love for aviation and each other. They cherished the years they spent together, and they held on to every belonging they ever owned -- kind of like me and my storage shed. I'm starting to think our family has a problem.

Steven: This is great! I hereby declare this barn to be universe & universe's universe of space travel HQ!

(Steven and Greg begin to draw on a chalkboard, cut wood, and tape stuff together.)

[Timeskip]

Steven: *Holding hands over Pearl's eyes* Okay. now. *Lifts hands*

Pearl: "UUU space travel"? What is this?

Steven: We built a spaceship! *Grunts*

Pearl: A spaceship?

Steven: A spaceship! *Gestures to wooden box with paper wings on the side*

Pearl: A spaceship?

[Trans. int. top of hill by toolshed]

* Birds cawing and chirping*

Greg: Now, remember, Steven, if you run into any trouble out there, you can always bail. There's never any shame in bailing.

Steven: Fatherly advice understood! Thank you, Dad. Light the engines.

Greg: Roger that! *Lights a rope at the back of the 'spaceship'

Steven: Next stop -- outer space!

Greg: Blast-off! *Pushes the 'spaceship' down the hill*

Steven: *Is riding down the hill in the 'spaceship'* *A paper wing breaks off* Uh! *One side of the box comes off* Ooh! *The other paper wing breaks off* Uhh!

Pearl: Aah!

Steven: No shame! *Jumps out of the 'spaceship'* Aah!

(The 'spaceship' hits a rock and breaks into pieces)

Pearl: I think your calculations may have been off.

Greg: Well, they can't be off if you don't do any.

[Trans. ext toolshed]

Pearl: *Drawing and motioning to chalkboard* Did you really think this was gonna work?

Steven and Greg: Mnh-mnh-mnh.

Pearl: *Drawing a diagram of a spaceship on the chalkboard* Here. look. You need smooth, curving surfaces. Otherwise, you're never gonna get enough speed to break earth's gravitational pull. Probably swept-back wings for supersonic flight, airtight cockpit with ejector seat, and we'll need some serious engines, or maybe rockets would be better.

Steven: I vote rockets!

Greg: Whoa, whoa. Hold on a sec. We're not actually talking about building something like this, right?

Pearl: What?! this? *Laughs* Of course not. That would be ridiculous. I mean, yes, theoretically, it's not a stretch. You've got plenty of spare parts here, albeit for incredibly primitive propulsion-based space travel. The idea is ludicrous. It would never work, although several humans, a monkey, and a dog did make it into space. I don't know why I've never even thought of it before. This could actually work!

Steven and Greg: Uh...

Pearl: I hear what you're saying, and I agree -- it would be incredibly dangerous, a fool's errand. *Picks stuffing out of chair* This chair is disgusting. But aren't the true fools the ones who don't seize an opportunity, despite all the inherent risks? And I'd be able to show Steven the wonders of the cosmos! And maybe just for a second, from a distance, I could see what's been going on without me. All right! let's do it!

Steven: UUU, space travel! G-o-o-o-o-o!

(Greg and Steven begin moving parts out of the tool shed while Pearl drills, screw-drives, and blowtorches various things together in order to build a spaceship. She also tests out an engine and mixes chemicals.)

Steven: *Chasing a tire* *Laughs* *Flying in a small, test aircraft* Wah-o-o-o-o-o-o-oo!

Greg: Ground control to mach 2. Come in, mach 2. How you doing, buddy?

Steven: *Still flying in the aircraft* Aah! aah-aah-aah-aah! Wow! *Muttering*

Greg: You think we're taking this a little far?

Pearl: We're not even close to being done.

Greg: We're not?

Pearl: Okay, Steven. Go ahead and bring her down.

*Steven lands the aircraft* *Engine backfires* *Crash!* *Sproing*

Steven: Ugh! Whoo!

Greg: Was it supposed to fall apart like that?

Pearl: Don't worry. This was just to test my engine concept. I'll work out the kinks in the next one.

Greg: Hang on. Hang on. Next one?!

Pearl: Is there a shop in town that carries f-1 single-nozzle liquid-fueled rockets?

Greg: You really are serious!

Pearl: Of course! We're also going to need a space suit for Steven so he doesn't freeze or explode.

Steven: *Imitates explosion*

Greg: Whoa. You are not taking him to space.

Pearl: Yes, I am.

Greg: No! I'm not allowing it!

Steven: But why? This is why we founded Universe & Universe.

Greg: Steven, you're grounded.

Steven: What?!

Greg: No, no. I mean you're grounded. You don't get to leave Earth.

Steven: Oh. What?!

Greg: As C.E.O. and supreme space commander, I hereby ground this astronaut and cancel this mission.

Steven: Aw, man! Stupid company by-laws.

Pearl: Hey! Who made you C.E.O.?!

Greg: *Tilts head towards Steven* He did.

Pearl: Fine. If neither of you will help, I'll just do it by myself -- not like it'll be much different.

Steven: Pearl!

Greg: I'm sorry, bud. Sometimes you just got to know when to bail.

[Timeskip to nighttime]

Greg: *Muttering in sleep*

Steven: *Snoring* *Pearl pokes him* Wha?

Pearl: Shh! Want to see something really cool?

Greg: *Snoring* No. Don't give him a banana. That's what he wants.

Pearl: *Leads Steven to toolshed* *Opens toolshed to reveal a spaceship* Presenting the brand-new ballistic-flight-capable Universe mach 3!

Steven: *Gasps* Spaceship! *Laughing maniacally*

Pearl: Wait, Steven. Keep your voice down.

Steven: *Grunts* *laughs* Whoa! It's even got the logo from the van!

Pearl: And if your dad asks, we'll say we borrowed it.

Steven: *Jumps into the spaceship* Whoa. Look at all the buttons! I must press them all.

Pearl: If you want, Steven, we could take her out for an engine check. *Uses her gem to change into a spacesuit* *twinkle* It'll be quick.

* Rumbling*

Greg: *Is woken up by the spaceship* Wha?! What the...? Pea-a-a-a-rl! Steven, what are you doing?!

* Engine revs* *boom!* *Spaceship lifts off into the air*

Greg: *Knocked back by blast* *Grunts*

Steven: *Laughs* Wow! Look! You can see the temple!

Pearl: Mm-hmm.

Greg: *Over walkie-talkie* Hey, can you hear me?! Where do you two think you're going?!

Steven: Hey, Dad, guess where I am.

Greg: I know where you are! It's where you're going that concerns me!

Steven: Don't worry, Dad. This is just a quick test flight.

Pearl: This will be perfectly fine -- just a pop over to the nearest star system. I'll give him back in 50 years.

Steven: 50 Years?

Greg: What?! I'll be dead in 50 years! Pearl, you bring him back right now, or I'll -- *Pearl turns off her end of the transmission* Hello? Hello?!

Steven: Pearl, I'm not supposed to go. Pearl!

Pearl: Oh, this is so exciting! Steven, you're gonna love it. *Begins to play on piano to gain speed via more engines* *Notes play* *discordant chord plays* Hang on tight!

Steven: Mm! *Piece of the spaceship flies by* What was that? *Alarm blaring* Pearl!

Pearl: We can make it. We're almost there.

(The spaceship begins to fall apart)

Steven: Pearl!

Pearl: I'm gonna show it to you.

Steven: Uh...Uh... *Blaring continues* *Pulls the 'hatch release' lever*

Pearl: Steven! What are you doing?!

Steven: We need to go, Pearl! We're not gonna make it!

Pearl: But we're almost there!

Steven: Pearl! I know you miss space, and I know you worked hard, but sometimes you just got to know when to bail.

(Pearl pulls a lever on the side of the chair they're sitting in, ejecting them out of the spaceship just us it explodes.)

Greg: N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! *Scans the sky with binoculars* Please, please, please, please, please. *Sees Pearl and Steven with a parachute, coming back down to Earth* Ahhhh. Ohhhhh. Ohh, this kid's killing me. Ughhhh!

Pearl: I'm so sorry. I almost got us killed.

Steven: I'm used to it. I'm sorry I couldn't help you go to space. We'll get there someday -- I promise.

Pearl: You know, I think I'd rather be here on Earth.

Steven: With me!

Pearl: Yeah. with you.

* Iris out on Pearl and Steven still coming back down to Earth.*

[End]