Rising Tides, Crashing Skies/Transcript

Ronaldo: Beach City, a sleepy seaside town. From far away, it looks ordinary, but take a closer look, you start to notice the cracks in the facade. My name is... uh... *clears throat* - My name is Ronaldo, for years I've run a blog called "Keep Beach City Weird". My mission - keep beach city weird, and also to expose the truth. Most people choose to ignore my mind blowing revelations, but no one can deny it when the truth was pointing right in the towns collective face!

(Footage from "Jail Break" where the Gem Warship is about to land plays)

Ronaldo (from footage): *gasps* It's an invasion! Look at that thing, it's right there!

Ronaldo: Beach City needed to be saved, but from what? *shows a picture of the Crystal Gems* Duh duh duh!

(The "Rising Tides/Crashing Skies" documentary title card is played.)

Nanafua: Ehh, I was just cleaning up some fish for a very big order when it happened. I heard this veeery peculiar rumbling, like "boom boom boom boom boom!", and then a sonic "BOOM!", and the fish I was preparing flew up into the air and fell on the ground! *a re-enactment that features a fish tumbling around plays* I ran outside and saw this great big thing in the sky.

Ronaldo: The town was under attack!

Nanafua: What is this for again?

Ronaldo: It's a web exclusive for my blo-

Peedee: Oh! Uh, yes! That day was crazy. The Mayor said-

Ronaldo: Were you scared?

Peedee: What?! No! I wasn't. I just concerned that something bad would happen to the shop...

Ronaldo: So, you cried a lot.

Peedee: I don't know what you're talking about.

(Footage from "The Return" is played.)

Mr. Fryman: Let it go !

(Mr.Fryman tries to pull Peedee away from the Beach Citywalk Fries counter table.)

Peedee: Dad... dad... no! Please no!

(Peedee was crying and holding the Beach Citywalk Fries counter table.)

Peedee: I was under a lot of stress at that time, arghh!

Ronaldo: Aww... hey.

Peedee: What?

Ronaldo: I'm here for you, bro. *hugs Peedee*

Peedee: Ah fine, let me go!

Ronaldo: You can't make up drama this good!

(Footage from The Return plays)

Ronaldo: With the space hand closing in for a high-five of the third kind, we freed the town. But then, just as mysteriously as the space hand appeared, it exploded into an explosion.

Mr. Fryman: What? Who blazes was that?

Peedee: I think it was an explosion!

Ronaldo: Unbelievable! I missed it!

Ronaldo: There's now actual footage of the giant hand thing crashing into the beach, but here's a little re-enact for you. *re-enactment plays*

Ronaldo: Whoooaahwooo-phhhh-woah! *crab grabs Ronaldo's finger* Ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch! Ahhhh...My hand! Ah!

Ronaldo: Beach City was saved, but by who?

(Camera cuts to Sadie preparing a donut for Mr. Smiley)

Ronaldo: Miss?

Sadie: Huh?

Ronaldo: Who do you think saved Beach City from the giant handcraft?

Sadie: Oh! Hey Ronaldo... Wait a-are you filming?

Ronaldo: Please answer the question!

Sadie: Oh, okay... Um, yeah sure... Who saved us? Umm... Well... Wasn't it Steven's...Family? I-I think they pretty much keep to themselves... Steven says that they protect the planet and the human race and that they have magic powers... It sounds hard to believe but I've seen some pretty wild stuff...

(Camera cuts to Kiki)

Kiki: Once they made us hamburgers and we were having a pretty good time, but then we were attacked by a huge creature!

(Jenny walks into the camera shot)

Jenny: Hey...You makin' a movie?

Kiki: Oh, let him be...

Ronaldo: It's a docuwebamentry about the Crystal Gems.

Jenny: Oh, they are crazy! One of them tried to knock me in the face! I ain't mad though...

(Camera cuts to Mayor Dewey)

Ronaldo: Mayor Dewey, who do you think saved Beach City from the handcraft?

Mayor Dewey: Why young man I credit the voters with saving Beach City! My constituents know they've elected a mayor than can trust to-*gets cut off*