Tiger Millionaire (episode)/Transcript

[Open Int. Crystal Temple: Warp Pad]

(The Gems warp into the Crystal Temple, Pearl berates Amethyst for recklessness.)

Pearl: How could you possibly think punching a blood polyp was a good idea? Look at all the gunk you got on me! And look at Steven!

Steven: *covered head to toe in gunk* It's not so bad once you get use to it.

Amethyst: See, he likes it.

Pearl: He certainly won't like it when it hardens.

Steven: Uh, what? Uh, I'm gonna go wash. *begins to walk away*

Pearl: He shouldn't have been so close in the first place. *Steven hardens in place near fridge*

Amethyst: How was I supposed to know they pop?

Steven: Uh, guys...?

Pearl: You're always putting us in danger with your little outbursts *Amethyst ignoring her* Ugh, you are just so childish!

Amethyst: Yeah, yeah. Don't forget: Reckless, vulgar, "loud mouthed", That's just what makes me so awesome! Right, Garnet?

Garnet: Amethyst, you are a Crystal Gem. You need to act like it.

Amethyst: Fine. *walks into her room*

Pearl: I think we really got through to her. *Garnet groans worryingly* Right, Garnet? *both leave house*

Steven: *still trapped* Guys?

[Time Skip- Night time]

(Steven sleeping in hardened shell of gunk. Door opens, waking Steven. Amethyst rushes out in cape and leaves, Steven falls over and shatters the shell, freeing him.)

Steven: *on ground* Amethyst?

(Steven pursues her to a Warehouse.)

[Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse]

(Amethyst transforms into The Purple Puma, introduced by Mr. Smiley acting as the announcer at the Beach City Underground Wrestling tournament and stands in the center of the ring, Steven watches from the window.)

Mr. Smiley: *announcing* For those of you befuddled by athleticism, you are about to see, the Purple Puma, rah! Is the single most hated wrestler in Beach City Underground's history! *crowd boos*

Steven: What? *Amethyst eggs on crowd*

Mr. Smiley: Alright ladies and gentlemen let's introduce his opponent, or should I say: Victim. *laughs* The Lochness Blogster!

Ronaldo: I'm, uh, going to end your reign of terror! Aah! *runs at her, who simply knocks him down with one punch*

Mr.Smiley: *laughs* Now that was quick. *crowd boos* Hey, I don't like it either but hey, what do you do? *Puma throws Ronaldo at crowd*

[Trans. Ext. Abandoned Warehouse]

(Amethyst bursts through back doors, roars and then returns to normal, Steven sneaks up behind her.)

Steven: Amethyst! *attempts to put her in a choke hold, only for Amethyst to flip him on his back*

Amethyst: *shocked* What are you doing here?

Steven: Are you a secret wrestler?

Amethyst: Yeah.

Steven: *gasps* But how, but when, but why?

Amethyst: Come here. Let me explain something to you. *puts arm around him* In the ring, nobody can tell me what to do, and if they do, I hit them in the face with a chair!

Steven: And they...like that?

Amethyst: "Like it"? They love it! Ha, well, they hate it but it's all part of the fun you know? Everyone here, get's that. You don't know what it's like having Pearl and Garnet on your back all the time!

Steven: Are you kidding me? *impersonates Pearl* Oh Steven, I told you before not to take peanut butter on missions. *impersonates Garnet* I'm not going to say anything, but I expect you to understand that was wrong. *Amethyst laughs* Let me be a wrestler with you, I'm so stifled!

Amethyst: Well, I haven't won the tag team belt yet. But you can't tell Pearl and Garnet.

Steven: Deal!

[Trans. Int. Steven's house]

(Steven slicks back his hair, wears suspenders and places a small whiskers mask on, thus becoming the wrestler Tiger Millionaire.)

Steven: Are you ready? Presenting, Tiger Millionaire! Rich feline industrialist from Jungle Island, once the single child of the wealthy tiger family, he clawed out his own destiny making money in the coconut mines.

Amethyst: Wow, you just came up with all that?

Steven: Well yeah, what's your backstory?

Amethyst: Pumas are cool.

Steven: Uh...we'll workshop that later.

[Trans.Int. Abandoned Warehouse]

Mr. Smiley: Two lovely heroes in the ring tonight, they build hospitals for the sick and they build muscles that will that look slick! Give it up for.... Concrete Heat and Chunk Truck! Facing off the Purple Puma and newest, mewest competitor Tiger Millionaire! *Crowd boos*

Lars: That little guy is gonna get creamed.

Sadie: From here *chews popcorn* he kinda looks like Steven.

Lars: Pfft! Yeah, right.

(Steven prepares to step into the ring.)

Amethyst: Steven, wait, I'm just using you to get the tag team belt, I'll do all the actual fighting.

Steven: Do I still get to wear the costume?

Amethyst: I don't care!

Steven: Okay! *Gives Amethyst a thumbs up*

(Amethyst as Purple Puma roars and charges at Chunk Trunk.)

Mr. Smiley: Oh! Devastating move by Puma!

Steven: Ugh! Purple! Purple Puma! Look out!*Concrete Heat places a traffic cone on Purple Puma's head*

Mr. Smiley: What a gross usage of safety equipment, and your tax dollars.

Steven: That's not fair!

Mr. Smiley: It may not seem fair, but hey anything goes in wrestling.

Steven: It does?

Mr. Smiley: Oh yes it does!

Steven: Looks like this tiger's gotta turn cheetah! Hey Chunk Truck! I'll give you a million jungle bucks to throw the match!

Mr. Smiley: What's this? It looks like Tiger Millionaire is offering a bribe!

Chunk Truck: Why? We could fill a thousand hospitals with- *Chunk Truck gets hit by Tiger Millionaire briefcase*

Lars: Oh snap! Did you see that?

(Purple Puma knocks out Chunk Truck)

Mr. Smiley: Oh! I mean just wow!

Amethyst: Way to go tiger! *Crowd boos*

(Montage of Amethyst and Steven winning several more matches and Pearl and Garnet finding pieces of Steven's props.)

Mr. Smiley: Record breaking heats tonight folks! Could it be? Tiger Millionaire has bought out our soda stand. Maybe he will share with his thirsty fans...oh! *Steven drops soda all over the ground* Now there's no soda for anybody, and now he is putting on galoshes? *Steven stomps in the puddle* Wow folks, this is really hard to watch.

Lars: Classic! Tiger! Hey tiger! Would you sign this? It would be so rad!

Steven: You couldn't afford it! *Steven knocks Lars' soda on the ground*

Mr. Smiley: Woah... Never thought I'd see the day when a contender turned on his own fan. *Lars throws Tiger Millionaire's tie on the ground*

Steven: I thought we were just having fun!

Mr. Smiley: Tiger Millionaire, you're the cruelest creature on the planet.

[Trans. Int. Steven's house]

Amethyst: Hey tiger! Are ya ready to win our final match!

Steven: Amethyst... Am I the cruelest creature on the planet?

Amethyst: *giggles* Oh Steven, those are just words that people use to describe how they feel about you.

(Steven gives a sad look.)

Amethyst: Listen, Steven you can't let anyone make you feel like garbage.

Steven: Is that how you feel?

Amethyst: I only feel how I wanna feel. *walks off*

[Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse]

Mr. Smiley: Ladies and gentlemen, fans of wrestling, Welcome to the tag team championships! In the ring tonight: They stomped their way through the tournament and into out hearts, give up y'all! Give it up! For Dashing Danny Doober and Handsome Hank Hackleschmidt! Only one thing would make these men look like better folks it's the tag team belts! But! Standing in the way are the ruthless kings of the jungle, they'll eat your kids and fire your parents! Yes, it can only be Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire! *severe booing*

Random Man: Don't you dare hurt those men, you monsters!

Sadie: Man, people are really bashing tiger.

Lars: He's awful because he hurt me specifically. *Holds up "I hate Tiger." sign*

(Pearl and Garnet arrive.)

Steven: Pearl? Garnet?

Amethyst: What are you doing!?

Pearl: What are we doing? What is this!? *holds up Steven's promotional flyer*

Steven: I thought we could use some promotion.

Mr. Smiley: Looks like we have some new opponents!

Pearl: No you don't! This match is cancelled!

Steven: What? Why?

Pearl: Why? I can't believe you've been sneaking off to this...this circus of violence! And you! *whispers* Using your Gem-powers on humans...

Amethyst: It's not enough that you're on my case all the time! But you have to ruin this for me too?

Pearl: We're not here to fight.

(Crowd cheers "Fight!".)

Garnet: Steven, Amethyst.

Amethyst: What?

Garnet: Go back to the temple.

Amethyst: I don't wanna! *pushes Garnet*

(Crowd and everyone gasps.)

Garnet: Don't do this. *Amethyst engages battle with Garnet*

Steven: *Amethyst squeezes Garnet* Guys! Stop! *Garnet decks Amethyst into the ground*

(Microphone rolls over to Steven.)

Steven: Wait! I want to tell you Purple Puma's backstory. He was the wildest cat in the jungle, so wild that the others cats couldn't take it. So she, I mean he went to look for somewhere he fit in, somewhere with other people who felt misunderstood.

Sadie: That really sounds like Steven. *Lars shushes Sadie*

Steven: That's why we're all here. To be wild and free, and body slam each other, and wear cool costumes, and make up nicknames and and uh..so can't we just have this? Can't we just wrestle?*Garnet takes microphone*

Garnet: No. *everyone gasps* Because we are the...Notorious Order of Wrestling Haters.

Pearl: That's right! Um...we want to stop all wrestling everywhere! Are you going to let us destroy all wrestling?

Lars: You gotta save wrestling! Come on! Tiger! Puma! Tiger! Puma!

(Crowd starts chanting "Tiger! Puma!".)

Steven: We'll stop you!

Mr. Smiley: What a stunning turn around! *Steven pretends to defeat Pearl* The jungle duo are fighting back! *Amethyst and Steven pretend to defeat Garnet* And they've taken down Captain Square, but wait wait, it's the good looking gang with a ladder! Are they planning to steal the belt? No! Oh, they're actually helping tiger! Up he's climbing! *Mr.Smiley"s words fade into the background*

Amethyst: Sorry for... Sorry.

Garnet: Same here.

Mr. Smiley: Tiger Millionaire has claimed the tag team belts! Tiger and Puma have won the championships! And saved wrestling!

Sadie: Lars, I'm really confused.

Lars: I love you, Tiger Millionaire. *sheds tear*

(The star iris closes on the tear Lars shed.)

[End]