The Message/Transcript

[Open Int. The Beach]

(Greg plays guitar.)

Steven: *Cheers* That sounded great!

Greg: Oh thanks! I was thinking about calling it "Water Witch."

Steven: Cool.

Greg: And check this out, I can add some vocal distortion too. *robotic machine voice* Steven, your dad's a robot now. And now that I'm a robot *distortion* things will be better and colder. Please forgive me for being an amazing machine.

Steven: I can't stay mad at my robo dad. Where's all this awesome energy coming from?

Greg: Well actually I was inspired to write some new songs after the ocean got sucked up into space a while back. I even drew up some freaky album artwork.

(Greg shows Steven his drawing.)

Steven: It looks like, (puts finger on drawing) Lapis Lazuli.

Greg: Easy with the tender touches, don't want it to get all smudged. Here, plug this up and help your old man work out this witchy jam.

Steven: Yeah! Let's! Jam!

(Steven strums the electric guitar but it makes no sound.)

Steven: Uh? Where my jams at?

Greg: I don't think its plugged in.

Steven: Ah ha!

(Steven plugs the electric guitar.)

Steven: All right, here we go. Let's... jam!

(The guitar still makes no sound.)

Steven: Uh... hmm. Jam!

(The guitar still makes no sound.)

Steven: Hm... Jam!

[Repeatedly tries to strum guitar but still no noise is heard from it.]

Greg: Oh, sorry, that's just the T.V. See, you plugged into the video jack but were making audio here. Don't you know video killed the audio star?

Steven: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Greg: That's ok, you just leave the details to me. When you're a one man band you got to know do it all: lyrics, graphic design, forum moderation, but for me it was all about the audio.

Steven: What a lovely poem.

Greg: Ok, we need a catchy hook! Something like-

(Greg starts singing and playing guitar.)

Greg: Well she's a rip tide queen and she's super mean!

Steven: Woah, hold the phone, now give the phone to me. Lapis was not mean, she was just trying to get home. How 'bout this instead?

(Steven starts singing Lapis Lazuli while playing guitar.)

Steven: She was trapped in a mirror and it couldn't be clearer she wanted to leave this place and get herself back in space and dad you might think she's a, criminal, but her friendship comes through subliminal.

(Steven is still signing, a montage of Lapis Lazuli starts playing.)

Steven: Lapis Lazuli... you fled into the bottom of the sea.. Lapis Lazuli... you were so mad but then you came around to me.

(Steven stops singing and the montage stops when a strange noise startles him.)

Steven: *trying to talk over the noise* Uh, what the heck is that?!

Greg: It must be some kind of weird feedback!

[Unsuccessfully tries to stop noise by changed his audio keyboard]

Greg: Hm, its not us, it must be coming from the temple!

Steven: Let's go check it out.

Greg: You go on ahead, this is a gem thing and I don't want to get in the way. Plus I get to eat the rest of this pizza.

Steven: Good thinking, I'll be back.

[Noise intensifies as Steven opens the door]

Steven: What's happening?!

Pearl: It's the Wailing Stone!

Amethyst: Make it stop!

Pearl: It just activated on its own!

Amethyst: It won't shut up!

[Amethyst wines and Garnet momentarily stops the noise, but it soon continues]

Everyone: Uh.....!

Pearl: Stand back!

[Bubbles Wailing Stone and noise stops]

Pearl: Ha, it worked, now we can get back to...

[Bubble grows large and pops]

Everyone: Ah.......!

[Steven sticks his arm through the hole and the noise stops, but open his mouth and the noise continues]

[Garnet removes Steven, shoves a couch cushion through the hole and places the rest around the stone and sits Steven on top of it]

Garnet: I don't understand, that thing has laid dormant since we found it.

Pearl: I haven't heard a Wailing Stone activate since we used them for the rebellion, and I've never heard it sound like that!

Garnet: Someone is trying to send us a message.

Pearl: But who? We've rounded up all the Wailing Stones on Earth, and we're not sending this message to ourselves. Unless? Amethyst?! Is this a prank?!

Amethyst: No way! I want it to stop! I don't like it!

Garnet: If its not coming from Earth, then a Gem must be sending this message from space.

Steven: Is that, what some Gems sound like?

Pearl: No, no, we should be hearing a voice, maybe this signal is too advanced for the Wailing Stone to process. That would explain the distorted audio.

Steven: Audio, my dadio knows audio.

Amethyst: Uh..., you mean Greg.

Steven: Yeah!

Pearl: I don't know...

Garnet: Don't whine, let's try it.

[Greg is searching through his van on the beach]

Greg: I can't believe it! you need help with sound stuff? You've come to the right guy! Ah ha! The Lubitz Cardioid Condenser 680! It's got warm tone without too much top end.

Amethyst: Uh, plus it's got a big honking sponge thing.

Greg: I know, isn't it awesome!

[Removes the couch cushion from the stone and plugs in his device]

Greg: Now I'm going to add some reverb and some low octave effects, I'm also adding some fuzz 'cause who couldn't use more fuzz? Now if I directly input the Wailing Stone and put it through a flanger we might what you're looking for.

Pearl: Flangers aside do you really think a signal like this is compatible with your analog devices?

Steven: Don't worry dad.

[Auto tunes voice]

Steven: It'll work!

Greg: Well, here goes nothing.

[Old noise intensifies even more]

Amethyst: This is even worse!

Greg: I'm sorry!

Steven: Dad you can do it, you're the audio daddy-o!

Greg: Yeah!

[Tries to configure noise]

Amethyst: Uh.

Steven: It sounds like music.

Greg: Yeah, that's real nice.

[Noise changes into a more musical tone]

Greg: Yes, yes. Woo Hoo!

Pearl: But, its not supposed to be music its supposed to be a message.

Greg: Okay, hold on I got this.

[Noise starts to change]

Greg: Its changing!

Steven: It almost sounds like a voice.

Greg: Almost got it!

[Engine shorts out and noise stops]

Greg: Uh great.

Pearl: What's happening, where's the signal!

Greg: Uh, looks like the van battery couldn't handle all this.

Pearl: I had a feeling this wouldn't work, there's just no way that Greg's equipment can interface with our ancient Gem technology.

Steven: Ah... come on Pearl, you can't be ready to give up yet.

Greg: Look, we just got to keep trying. Sure we don't have the latest and greatest Gem tech, but-

[Garnet remove device, noise starts, puts back the couch cushions and noise stops]

Garnet: It's okay Greg, you tried. Back to the temple. We'll figure something else out.

[Jumps off screen]

Pearl: What a waste of time.

[Jumps off screen]

Amethyst: See you later... Gregor-y.

[Jumps off screen]

Steven: Ah come on y'all!

[Tries to jump off screen but fails]

Greg: Uh, I really blew it huh?

Steven: Ah, Dad.

[Greg starts signing "Wailing Stone" and playing guitar]

Greg: I could of tamed you I could of shown I could dispose you from your loud throne, but in the end I wasn't good enough. I just showed the Gems I ain't got the stuff. Oh Wailing Stone I tried so hard to fly but I as thrown Oh Wailing Stone I should tell the Gem 'cause they should know. Have a little have a little have a little faith in me I just wanted to help, you know I have a little have a little have a little expertise I know it's not much but I know if it could come in handy I'd want to be there, I think you highly of you it just isn't fair that you have so little faith.

[Stops singing]

Greg: Eh, it's a B-side.

Steven: Dad, I hate seeing you like this, there's gotta be something else we can try.

Greg: Eh, I don't know Steven. I mean, sound and stuff like this, this stuff's my whole world, and if I can't figure this out then I don't know, maybe it isn't even sound.

Steven: Dad, if it isn't sound then what else could it be? Hm, hm. Wait, what! Dad!

Greg: I'm not that far away from you buddy.

Steven: What if it's...

Greg: Some other thing I'm not good at?

[Steven points eyes]

Greg: [struggling] Magic.., eyeballs... Oh my days its video!

Steven: We have to tell the Gems! Video!

[Starts running to beach house]

Greg: Hey slow down!

[At beach house and not facing the Gems]

Greg: I just want to help, have some faith in.

[Realizing know one's there]

Amethyst: We're over here.

Greg: I know my audio equipment seems like a pile of Earth junk to y'all but-

Garnet: Greg, Its ok.

Greg: No its not, you guys don't give up on anything, except for me. Come on... it's not like I can make it any worse!

[Back at Greg's van]

Pearl: Okay, go for it Garnet.

[Garnet holds jumper cables and generates her own electrical current]

Pearl: Okay Amethyst, try it now.

Amethyst: I've never started a car with a key before.

[Turns key and starts car]

Amethyst: Ha, that's way easier!

Pearl: The battery is ready to go.

Steven: The Wailing Stone is ready.

Greg: Ready with the video cord, Steven?

Steven: Ready.

[Plugs in cord, sound starts and video is fuzzy]

Pearl: Is that it?

Greg: Just a second.

Steven: I hear something.

Greg: Come on!

Lapis Lazuli: Steven!

Steven: Lapis!

Greg: I did it!

Pearl: I can't believe my flipping eyes!

Garnet: Everyone listen up!

Lapis: I hope you're able to hear this, there's a Gem looking for you, she even knew your name. I don't know how! I didn't tell her I swear! She's on her way to Earth, and she's not alone. Steven, Homeworld is not the way it used to be. Everything here is so advanced! I can't even understand it. There's no way anything on Earth can stand up to it. Please, don't put up a fight, It'll only lead to devastation.

[Video cuts off]

Pearl: It's Peridot, she must be talking about Peridot.

Amethyst: She's coming for us!

Steven: Lapis, she sounds so unhappy...

[Pearl and Amethyst freak out in background]

Amethyst: What are we going to do?!

Garnet: Woo, we did it.

Pearl: What?

Garnet: We got the message.

Amethyst: But!

Garnet: It's got!

[Garnet shakes Gregs hand]

Garnet: Thank you Greg, we would not have received this message without your help.

[Greg starts to tear up]

Greg: You, you're welcome.

Steven: My dad is...

[Using auto tuner in robot voice]

Steven: The best!

Greg: Oh my gosh, help, I can't relate to my robot son!

[Still robot voice]

Steven: My mind is the internet, I know every continuity mistake ever made on television.

[Greg and Steven laugh, ending the episode]

[End]