Arcade Mania/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of Arcade Mania. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Steven's Lion"

Next: "Giant Woman"

[Open Int. Underground Cave]

(The Crystal Gems walk on a path and Garnet shushes them)

Garnet: This way. *Steven's jacket makes a squishing sound as they walk*

Pearl: Ugh! *whisper yelling* Steven! This is a stealth mission! You're making too much noise! Take off the jacket!

Steven: But, I don't want to catch a cold.

Pearl: Then why are you still wearing sandals?

Steven: *looks at sandals* I can be quiet. See? Stealth. *sticks arms out straight to not make noise*

Garnet: We're getting close. *holds visor*

Pearl: C'mon then. *the Gems walk and Amethyst makes an impression of Steven's jacket swishing*

Steven: Amethyst!

Pearl: *thinks it is the jacket* Steven!

Steven: It wasn't me. Amethyst, you're making me look baaad-!*ledge that Steven's on starts to fall and Steven flails his arms*

Pearl: Steven!

Steven: Stealth.

(Steven falls over the cliff and screams, and Garnet catches him at the bottom. Garnet puts him down, and a Gem creature climbs out of a hole in the cave. It starts to shoot spikes at them, which Garnet easily dodges)

Pearl and Amethyst: Steven! *They jump down from the cliff*

Garnet: Stay down.

Amethyst: *picks up Steven* Come on poofy.

Steven: What about Garnet?

(The creature tries to hit Garnet with its outer arms but fails. Garnet does a bunch of flips and cartwheels to dodge it.)

Steven: Go, Garnet, go!

(Garnet karate chops the inner arms, and she summons one of her gauntlets. She sticks that hand in the creature's mouth, and it explodes into blue dust, leaving only the parasite spikes and a spiky gem that Garnet has bubbled)

Steven: Wow! She's so fast. Garnet, you're amazing! How'd you even do that? *Pearl points to a spot on the ground*

Pearl: Look! The little ones didn't explode. *The parasites burrow into the ground* They're drilling away!

Amethyst: *Drops Steven* I got it! *she runs over and jumps into one of the holes*

Garnet: Let them go. *Bubbles away the gem* They're just parasites. If they want to be a problem, they'll have to answer to me.

Steven: So coool. *Garnet pulls Amethyst out of the hole*

Amethyst: *happily* I swallowed a rock.

[Trans. Beach City Boardwalk]

Steven: We all worked so hard, we deserve a reward.

Pearl: Sounds like you have something in mind. *Steven starts laughing and dancing*

Steven: I'm taking you guys to the best place in Beach City! *points to building in front of them* Funland Arcade!

Pearl: Do we have anything else to do?

Garnet: We don't.

Amethyst: Um, don't you need money for that place?

Steven: Oh, don't worry. This one's on...*opens jackets to reveal several pockets full of coins* meeee! *The other Gems shield their eyes*

[Trans. Int. Funland Arcade]

Steven: Welcome to a wonderland of funtronic gameventions! *laughs*

Pearl: Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.

Steven: Pearl! *takes her hand* Pearl come on, you'll love this game! *leads Pearl away*

Pearl: If you say so. *Sits down at racing game* Road Killer?

Steven: Yeah, pick the car you like and just go for it!

Pearl: W-well, which one of these buttons is my turn signal?

Steven: None of them. Have fun. *leaves*

Road Killer: Vroom vroom, kill the road!

Pearl: Okaaay...

(Steven finds Amethyst and teaches her to use the Skeeball machine)

Steven: *gives Amethyst a Skee Ball* This is Skee Ball. You roll the ball into the hole, and then you can even win tickets for prizes. *points towards ticket booth*

(Onion turns a pile of tickets in to Mr. Smiley, who gives him a moped)

Steven: Woah, Onion's the ticket master!

Amethyst: Cool.

Steven: Alright, good luck. *Leaves, Amethyst smiles devilishly*

(Steven finds Garnet and attempts to introduce a game that fits her personality)

Steven: Teens of Rage, this game is perfect for you! You seem like a Joe Rock kinda gal. His special move is *thinking*... Forward, forward, back, tap towards half circle, medium kick- Oh wait! Maybe that's an aerial move. Just punch and you'll be fine. *Game antagonizes Garnet*

Teens of Rage: Come on punk!

Garnet: *Punches through screen* I did it.

Steven: *Nervous* Ugggh, let's try something else. *Leads her to Punch Buddy* Okay, this is a game you can actually punch. *Game antagonizes Garnet*

Punch Buddy: Come on,Give it your best shot, kid.

Garnet: *Swats Punch buddy with one hand sending it flying* I win again.

Punch Buddy: Tell my wife I'm sorry!

Steven: *Searching frantically* Uh... uhm, how about that one? *Points* Meat Beat Mania. There's no violence in this game. Just shake the meat, to the beat.(hands Garnet the ham controllers)

(Garnet begins to play as the game encourages and performs very well)

Steven: Awesome!, Garnet, you're so good at this. *Laughs* I wonder how the others are doing.

(Steven walks back over to Pearl)

Road Killer: You're horrible!

Pearl: Stop saying that!

Steven: Having fun?

Pearl: *Annoyed* Why am I doing so badly? I haven't crashed into anything!

Steven: You're suppose to crash into everything!

Pearl: What? That's horrible.

Road Killer: You're horrible!

Steven: *Notices Amethyst cheating* Amethyst! What are you doing?

(Amethyst straddles the rings of the Skeeball machine, shooting skeeballs directly into the holes, attaining a huge pile of tickets)

Amethyst: Imma win a airplane!

Steven: *Attempts to stop her* That's cheating! You're gonna get us in so much troub- *interrupted*

Mr. Smiley: Hey, you guys know what happened to Teens of Rage?

Steven: Let's run! *Grabs Amethyst by the hand and goes to Pearl*

Amethyst: This place is fun!

Steven: Pearl, we're leaving!

Pearl: *Still playing* Ugh, good. *leaves, in-game car crashes*

Road Killer: You're fantastic!

Steven: Garnet, we're leaving!

Mr. Smiley: *picks up broken Punch Buddy* What happened to Punch Buddy? Who did this to you?! *Looks around angrily*

Steven: *Panicked* Wah! Ugh, see you at home! *leaves with Pearl and Amethyst*

[Trans. Int. Crystal Temple - the next day]

(Steven eats breakfast, Amethyst lounges on the couch, and Pearl practices with her spear)

Steven: *Eating cereal* So, what's today's mission? I hope it's... fighting, a giant... foot!

Pearl: If we're suppose to fight a "giant foot", *twirls spear* Garnet would let us know.

Amethyst: Yeah, Garnet's the boss.

Pearl: Well, we're all a team. Garnet just has heightened perception that guides us towards our mission objective.

Amethyst: Yeah, she's the boss.

Steven: So where is she, *eats some cereal* fighting the foot?

Pearl: She's not "fighting the foot". You know, Garnet goes off on mission without us all the time. She's probably doing something very important.

Amethyst: Oh wait Steven! I just remembered, Garnet had a special mission for you!

Steven: Really?

Amethyst: Yeah, she says um, you have to slam your face into that bowl of cereal.

Steven: Okay. *slams face into cereal*

Amethyst: Good job Steven! You stopped the foot!

Pearl: There is no foot!

Steven: *face covered in cereal* Not anymore.

Pearl: Ugh!

Steven: (wipes face with shirt) Welp, now that that's done, time to comb the beach for quarters with my *gets out metal detector* Metal Mutt!

[Trans. Beach]

(Steven scours the beach for quarters with his Metal Mutt)

Steven:*Metal Mutt barks, Steven picks up object* Aw, silver dollar? Useless! *tosses* Come on. *Metal Mutt barks once more further down* This better not be another cap. *digs up a second metal mutt* Double dogs! *both indicate an object below, Steven gasps* Quarters!

(Steven attempts to pick up the quarter shaped object below, only to be attacked by the Drill Parasites which clings to his hand)

Steven: *attacked by parasite* Ah! Help!

(Steven flings the parasite upwards, it turns into a drill shape and attacks from above, Steven dodges but several more appear and attack, he attempts to use one of his metal mutts to defend himself but they merely break it and attack again, Pearl and Amethyst round the corner of a cliff and see Steven being attacked)

Pearl: Steven!

Amethyst: It's the little guys! *dodges*

(Pearl summons her weapon but can't hit the small fast targets, countless more appear and begin to rain down upon them, forcing them to flee with Steven towards Funland Arcade)

Pearl: They're everywhere, why didn't we see this coming?!

Steven: We need Garnet!

Pearl: We don't know where she is!

Steven: *gasp* Meat Beat Mania... *runs into arcade*

Pearl: Steven, where are you going?!

[Trans. Int. Funland Arcade]

(Garnet still playing MBM, entranced by its rhythm and unresponsive to Steven)

Steven: Garnet! *breathless* You gotta come quick. Garnet, those little guys are back and... and they're a problem! *stares at screen* Woah, I've never seen anyone get this far. B-but you gotta get back and help the others. *Garnet ignores him* Uh, Garnet? Garnet come on. Garnet hey, this is serious, Pearl and Amethyst are in trouble. *climbs atop her head* Garnet, why. Are you. So. Hard. To. Climb?! *removes her glasses revealing her third eye, which moves rapidly with the game's movements* Oh my gosh! *falls off*

Steven: I'll save you Garnet. *unplugs game*

(Garnet throws the controllers up in the air and uses her powers to reactivate the game despite it being unplugged)

Steven: *gasp* The rhythm has her. The only way to defeat... the beat... is with meat! *takes up the second player position to compete* I have to win! *Game starts*

Meat Beat Mania: Let's meat it, prepare your meats! Shake it! Tenderize! Player one wins! You're toast player two. *Steven loses, but starts again* Eat it up! A player two barbecue!

Steven: Ugh, no! *takes out his last two quarters*

Meat Beat Mania: Let's meat it! Rack those ribs, spice it up! Thrill is in the grill! You're toasted!

(Steven attempts to beat her but despite his best efforts cannot beat Garnet's perfect rhythm)

Steven: This. Is. It! *strikes a pose but still loses*

aw, I can't do it. Garnet snap out of it! What's wrong with you?! You got to stop! *grabs game console and begins to pry* Playing, grr, this horrible, err, game! Ahh!

(Steven rips the console "grill" off the main machine and jams it into the screen repeatedly, Garnet immediately comes to her senses and her 3rd eye closes)

Garnet: *blinks* Steven!

Steven: Garnet!

Garnet: You won.

(Mr. Smiley sees Steven after he destroys MBM)

Mr. Smiley: Ah, it was you! You've been breaking my games! *Garnet rushes outside to help others*

Garnet: Pearl, Amethyst!

Steven: I can help too! *Attempts to run out*

Mr. Smiley: Oh no, no no. *Grabs him* Don't you go flippity flopping out of here.

[Time skip- later in the day]

(Steven sweeps the floor of the arcade while the Gems fight outside)

Steven: *Sees Garnet destroy a parasite* Yeah! *Mr. Smiley walks by* I'm working! See? *Sweeps, sees a quarter* Hmm, *gasp* a quarter!

MBM narrator: Now you're cooking!

[End]