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This is a transcribed copy of "Are You My Dad?". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "The Good Lars" Next: "I Am My Mom"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. Crystal Temple]
(Steven is running towards his mailbox on the beach, while the Crystal Gems are seen playing in the sand.)
Steven ♪ Hey Mister Postman, bring me a post! Bring me the post that I love the most. ♪
(Steven opens his mailbox, finding nothing inside.)
Steven Dagnabbit!
Amethyst Yo. No package yet?
(Amethyst approaches Steven, dragging along a cooler filled with cans.)
Steven No package, yet. I definitely ordered a pair of khakis from "The Distinguished Boy". They should have arrived by now. I'm a distinguished boy, Amethyst. Don't I deserve some distinguished khakis?
Amethyst Aw, want one of these instead? *offers a can to Steven*
Steven No, thanks. *looks at the cliff corner* Any second now.
(Steven jumps around the corner of the cliff and strikes a pose.)
Steven Hey Mister Postman, bring me a post!
(There is still no one in sight.)
Steven Consarn it! *walks back, disappointed* Still no Jamie, I don't understand. He's usually so punctual. *sighs and moans*
(Amethyst sips from a can, when she notices a disappointed Steven.)
Steven Bring me a post...
Amethyst Hey, you shouldn't have to waste your whole day for some thing in the mail. *holds out a can, revealing to be canned beans* Take some of these magic beans to town and trade it for a donut.
Steven You've been drinking... Beans?
Amethyst They're good for the heart.
Steven Unfortunately, I know from experience that the Big Donut does not accept beans as currency. But, you'd still wait for Jamie while I got us some donuts?
Amethyst Sure. Why not? *opens the canned beans* We'll hold down the fort while you're gone.
Pearl Amethyst! Steven! Look! We're building a tiny house, for crabs!
Garnet Welcome to your new home.
(Pearl reveals a big sandcastle and Garnet places two blue crabs on the sandcastle.)
Pearl Oh, they like it.
(Pearl and Garnet chuckles in joy, and Steven giggles.)
Steven Thanks Amethyst. *runs off*
Amethyst No prob! Just bring me back a bear claw!
[Trans. Ext. The Big Donut]
(Steven hums a tune as he skips over to the Big Donut, when he passes by Sour Cream, holding a stack of flyers and looking rather sad.)
Steven Good morning Sour Cream! Putting a rave tonight?
Sour Cream Oh, the flyers? No, it's Onion.
(Sour Cream holds up a flyer, revealing a "Wanted" poster of Onion, but instead with "Missing" written over in red marker.)
Sour Cream He's been missing for a couple of days now. My mom and Yellow-dad are starting to get worried. You haven't seen him around lately, have you?
Steven No. Have you checked his favorite hiding spot in the woods?
Sour Cream Sure did.
Steven What about inside the vending machine at Funland?
Sour Cream No luck. Blew a dollar checking it too.
Steven What about that top secret room inside your house?
Sour Cream You mean his office? Of course.
Steven Hmm..
Sour Cream Meh. I'm sure he's fine. If he's anything like me when I was a kid, he's probably... I dunno.. raving in a friend's backyard. Anyway, I better hang the rest of these up. Can you make sure Lars and Sadie get one of these? I wanted to hang one on the Big Donut but it's closed.
Steven ...Closed?
(Steven runs to the Big Donut and tries to open the door forcefully.)
Steven Lars? SAAADIIIEE! *peeks into the shop*
(Steven peeks into the shop, finding the lights inside are turned off. He then walks around to the back of the shop.)
Steven They have to be here. I know what you guys are doing. You guys are watching scary movies in the break room like you're not suppose be.
(Steven tries to forcefully open the back door.)
Steven Open up! I! Want! A donut!
(The door is suddenly opened by Barbara from the inside.)
Barbara Hey, you trying to break in or something?
Steven Barb! Uh, no! I-I was looking for Lars and Sadie, but they're not back here. Uh, how did you get in?
Barbara Well, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't make a copy of all my daughter's keys?!
[Trans. Int. The Big Donut]
(Steven and Barbara enters the dark break room of the Big Donut.)
Barbara I only came over to drop off Sadie's lunch. She wasn't home last night so I figured I'd bring it here. But the place was completely empty. Maybe its some baker's holiday. Certainly not a federal one.
Steven Sadie never came home last night?
Barbara Ehhh She's an adult. Probably just snuck off for another island adventure with her boyfriend.
Steven That couldn't be, they were going to go to party together but.. Lars never showed. And when me and Sadie left, she said she was going home. And now Sour Cream is looking everywhere for Onion. And I was expecting a package today from Jamie but he... He never delivered it.
Barbara A package? You mean one about "yay" big, two pounds, maybe 4 ounces?
Steven *gasps* My distinguished khakis! Did you see Jamie with them?
Barbara I did this morning. Just before sending him off to your place.
Steven Barb... This might be serious.
(Steven and Barbara look at each other with deep concerns.)
[Trans. Ext. The Big Donut]
Steven I'll see if I can find anyone on the boardwalk.
Barbara I'll go check doorsteps for piled up packages, then we'll know if anyone else is missing. *shouts out loud* Sadie! Don't worry, honey! *runs off* Mama's coming for you, baby girl!
Steven ...Good luck.
[Trans. Beach City Boardwalk]
(Steven walks along the quiet boardwalk, deep in thought.)
Steven Jamie... Onion... Lars... Sadie?... Maybe they all are on vacation? No, Steven. *sighs* Whatever the case, it's up to me to find them.
[Trans. Ext. Funland Arcade]
(Steven starts calling out loud in front of the arcade.)
Steven Jamie! Onion! Lars! Sadie!
Teens of Rage Announcer Awaiting new challengers to validate me.
Punch Buddy Somebody, punch me! Please.
(Steven stares in unrest at the desolated arcade. He then grabs himself a bag of Chaaaaps from a vending machine.)
Steven Well, Sour Cream was right. Onion wasn't in the vending machine. And neither was anybody else. *eats a chip*
??? Are you "My Dad"?
(Steven looks down and spots a small blue figure, with a teardrop gem on her face, in front of him.)
Steven *screams in fright* A Gem!
Teardrop Gem Are you, "My Dad"? I need to find "My Dad."
Steven N-No, I- I'm not.
(The teardrop Gem groans and flies away.)
Steven Wha- W-Wait! Don't leave me with another enigma!
(Steven chases the teardrop Gem around the corner, only to find that she has disappeared.)
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Steven begins describing the teardrop Gem he saw, while the Gems and Connie attempt to illustrate his description.)
Steven And the gem was under her eye. My right, her left. And wings, and, yeah...
(The Gems and Connie finish their illustrations and they all show them to Steven. Connie's illustration is anime-esque, of a bust of the teardrop Gem.)
Connie I think I made one eye bigger than the other.
(Amethyst's illustration is free-form, appearing to be a winged horse.)
Amethyst I was going for a feeling.
(Pearl's illustration is extremely detailed, looking almost like Lapis Lazuli.)
Pearl Honestly, I can't even draw a circle. *chuckles sheepishly*
(Garnet's illustration is simple, looking like...)
Steven Okay Garnet, you just drew yourself.
Garnet Uh, I like me.
Steven Well, anyway. I think Connie was the closest.
Connie Thanks!
Pearl This was a waste of time. *crumples her illustration in her hand* We should be preparing for a fight. *grabs Connie's illustration* Whoever this is, she's from Homeworld. She's gotta be here for us.
Steven She's not though. She said, she's looking for her Dad.
The Gems What?
Pearl Her Dad?
Steven There are all these people missing. Maybe her Dad's gone missing too.
Amethyst But Gems don't have Dads!
Pearl This doesn't make any sense.
Connie Steven's a Gem, and Steven has a Dad.
Garnet There are no other Gems like Steven.
Connie Are you sure?
(Everyone stares at Connie in silence.)
Garnet We got to get to the bottom of this. We should split up, and investigate.
Steven *gasps* Ruby and Sapphire!
Garnet Uh, no. I meant split into teams.
Steven Ooohh... right. Garnet with yourself, Pearl with Amethyst, and Connie with me. Let's go!
[Trans. Int. Beach City]
(Steven and Connie begin wandering the empty streets of Beach City.)
Steven Connie, do you really think there could be another Gem like me?
Connie Well... You know more about Gems than I do, but it couldn't be impossible. You exist.
Steven Hmm.. She didn't look half human though. She was blue and... had wings.
Connie Well, what if she's adopted? What if, she crash-landed in the big city and she was taken in by a lonely millionaire with a heart of gold?
Steven And a house of gold.
Connie But one day, he went on a business trip to Beach City, and he never came home.
Steven I... guess I'd watch movie of that.
Connie Or read the book. Or neither, 'cause it could be reality, Steven.
Steven You really think so?
Connie Hey, the only way to know is find out.
Steven Yeah!
[Trans. Int. Forest]
(Steven and Connie enter the forest towards Onion's hiding spot. Connie picks up a fallen leaf, crumples it in her hand and holds it up in the air, letting the wind blow it off her hand.)
Connie Yup, there's wind.
Steven Man... I just feel like I was here with Onion and all his friends. Where is he? Poor Sour Cream missing his brother, and Barb missing her daughter, and her mailman. And this new Gem missing her dad! I know what it's like to have your dad taken away. She must be so scared.
Connie But you got your dad back. And you'll solve this too. We'll solve this, together.
Steven Thanks, Connie. *smiles at Connie, and she smiles back* Lets turn this woods upside down.
(Steven and Connie begin searching through the forest.)
Steven Onion! Lars! Jamie! *looks inside a fallen log* You in here delivering packages to some mail boxes?
(The teardrop Gem from before then appears on a tree beside Connie.)
Connie Steven! It's the Gem!
Steven *pops out of the fallen log* What?
Connie She looks just like my drawing. Come on! You don't have to be afraid, we'll help you. Jump down into my arms, my body will break your fall.
Teardrop Gem Are you "My Dad"?
Connie What? Uh- no, I'm not your dad, but we can help you find your dad.
Teardrop Gem I'm not looking for "Your Dad", I'm looking for "My Dad." I need to find "My Dad."
Connie Riiight, well, we'll... help you.
Steven Connie! *struggles to get out of the fallen log* Connie, wait! Be careful.
Teardrop Gem Connie. Are you Connie?
Connie Yes, I'm Connie. Me Connie, Connie friend.
Teardrop Gem *chuckles and flies off* Topaz! I found one! I found one! I found a Connie!
Connie Steven?
Steven Connie!
(Steven continue to struggle, trying to get out of the fallen log, when the ground begins to tremble. Connie draws her sword as a large yellow Gem approaches, with the missing humans merged and struggling inside them.)
Connie Another Gem! She... She has everyone.
Steven Let them go!
(Topaz unfuses, separating into two smaller Topazes, while still holding onto the missing humans. The Topazes charge towards Connie and hold hands. Before Connie can even do anything, the Topazes fuse back together with Connie in between, merging her in their body as well.)
Steven Connie!
(Steven finally manages to break free from the fallen log and runs towards Topaz.)
Teardrop Gem *perches on top of Topaz* Look at those organics squirming around.
Steven Give me back my friends! *summons his shield*
Teardrop Gem Don't bother listening to that "Steven", he's not "My Dad".
(The teardrop Gem takes off her hair bow, turning it into a small wand. She fires a tractor beam at Steven and hurls him into a tree.)
Teardrop Gem Now, all we need is "My Dad" and we're out of here!
(Steven weakly gets up and attempts to reach out to the Gems, with a ringing in his ears.)
Teardrop Gem Can't believe they wasted an Aquamarine on a job like this. It's so easy you could've done it yourself, Topaz.
(Aquamarine chuckles hysterically as she leaves the forest on top of Topaz.)
Steven No... You... can't... take them...
(Steven closes his eyes, as his consciousness fades away.)
[END]


ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus
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