Cat Fingers/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Cat Fingers". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Frybo"

Next: "Bubble Buddies"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Open Ext. It's a Wash]
(Greg is washing a van modeled in the image of Mayor Dewey with Steven.)
Greg	Almost done! *sprays the van with a hose* Steven, get the hubcaps!
Steven	Hubbing it up! *rubs the van's hubcaps vigorously*
Greg	Hub it good! This is a high-profile job.
Steven	You mean cause it's the mayor's election-mobile?
Greg	If we do this right, we might get political favors!
Steven	I'm not sure what that is, but I like it! *grabs a nearby hose*
(Steven turns on the hose to spray the van, but the water arches over the van and splashes onto Greg by mistake. Greg laughs and sprays back at Steven with his hose, starting a water fight. Mayor Dewey then walks in towards them.)
Mayor Dewey	Hey, hey, hey! I'm not paying for father-son bonding here! (Steven sprays him with his hose.) Universe! Control that kid! *tries to wipe the water off himself*
Greg	Steven! *holds Steven close to him* Hehe, I'm sorry, Mayor Dewey. Hehehe, this one's on the house.
Mayor Dewey	*examining his van* On the house, eh? I like the way you do business, Universe.
(Mayor Dewey gets into the van and drives off, with a siren chanting "Mayor Dewey". Greg sighs in dismay.)
Steven	*wiggles his fingers* Political favors!
Greg	Ahh, you rascal! *picks Steven up and noogies him* Enough with the hose fights!
Steven	Aw, okay.
(Steven and Greg are suddenly splashed by some water.)
Greg	What the--?
(Steven and Greg notices a purple cat holding a running hose in its mouth.)
Steven and Greg	Woah!
(The purple cat starts chasing them around, continuously spraying them with the hose.)
Greg	What is with this cat?!
(The purple cat begins to shapeshift, revealing to be Amethyst.)
Amethyst	Haha! Got you guys!
Steven	Amethyst!
Greg	Uh, pretty cool, Amethyst.
Steven	Really cool! I wish I could shapeshift like you!
Amethyst	*ties hose into a knot* You could probably learn.
Steven	Really?
Amethyst	Sure. *lifts up Steven's shirt* You've got a gem.
Greg	Whup! Magic stuff! Should I get out of here? Is there going to be an explosion?
Steven	Aw, it's no big deal, dad. *pulls his shirt down*
Amethyst	*shapeshifts into Steven* Yeah, it's fiinnneeee.
Greg	Gah!
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
Amethyst	Hey, Pearl! *shapeshifts into a seal* Arp, arp!
Steven	*laughing* Do more!
Amethyst	Check it out. *shapeshifts into a wolf, while Pearl stares blankly* Aaoooo! *shapeshifts into a wrestler* Raaa! *shapeshifts into a jay* Gaah! *perches on Steven's head*
Steven	Whoa!
Pearl	*walks over* Amethyst, you're overdoing it.
Amethyst	Uh, chill-it, dude.
Pearl	Just because you can shapeshift, doesn't mean you should.
Steven	Can you shapeshift?
Pearl	*smiles* Well, of course--
Amethyst	*shapeshifts into Pearl and interrupts Pearl* Well, of course I can. I'm perfect! *smacking her butt* WOMP, WOMP!
(Pearl shoves Amethyst to the side and Amethyst tumbles away laughing.)
Pearl	All Gems have shapeshifting powers, Steven. *projects some holograms* We can turn into objects, we can change parts of our bodies or... we could do that. *looks at Amethyst*
Amethyst	*still smacking her butt* WOMP, WOMP!
Steven	I want to try it all!
Pearl	Don't bite off more than you can chew, Steven.
Amethyst	WOMP, WOMP!
Pearl	Ugh! *leaves through the front door, and Amethyst shapeshifts back into herself*
Steven	Alright! Show me how to change into a, uh, huge lion!
Amethyst	Actually, for once Pearl is right. If you're gonna do this, you've gotta start with something easy.
Steven	Like that cat you turned into?
Amethyst	That sounds good. Now follow my lead. *begins demonstrating for Steven* First, think of what you wanna be, and then, just shake it out. *shapeshifts into the cat* See? Haha! Now your turn.
Steven	Okay. *take a deep breath and starts straining himself* Caaaaat...
Amethyst	Nah, you're too tense. *opens a bag of chips* Just relax and feel it. *eats a potato chip* Bio-rhythms, yo.
Steven	*presses fingertips against his temples* Feeeel it...
Amethyst	Ehh, if you're not ready, we can try later.
Steven	No, wait! I can do it. (Amethyst shapeshifts back into herself and Steven starts "feeling it".) Yeah... Yeah... Hunh!
Amethyst	Well, it was a good try.
(A meowing noise appears out of nowhere. Steven opens his palm to see his index finger has turned into a head of a cat, meowing away. Amethyst starts giggling.)
Steven	This is so cool!
Amethyst	You should go show your dad. He's gonna freak out!
Cat Finger	Rreow!
[Trans. Ext. It's a Wash]
Steven	Dad, I'm back!
Greg	*is suntanning outside* Hey, schtu-ball.
Steven	Check it out!
(Steven shows the cat finger to his dad. Greg reacts in shock, hurling a water bottle which hits Steven on the head. Water splashes from the bottle onto the cat finger and it cowers, as if it got burned.)
Steven	I shapeshifted my finger into a cat!
Greg	Whoa! Is, is that a thing you can do now? That's pretty... cool.
Steven	I know, right! I'm gonna take this show on the road! *starts laughing and twirls away*
Cat Finger	Meow! Row! Reaw!
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
Sadie	That'll be a dollar 'o five Steven.
Steven	Mm, okay. Here's a nickel... and a buck! *hold up the cat finger, holding a dollar bill in its mouth*
Sadie and Lars	Whaaat!
(The cat finger drops the dollar bill and meows.)
Sadie	Oh Steven, that's adorable! *pets the cat finger with her finger, making it purr* Are... you making it purr?
Steven	It kinda does what it wants.
Lars	Really? *roughly pokes the cat finger, and it bites him* YOW!
Steven	See what I mean? "Bad cat finger!"
Sadie	Oh, I'm sure it just wants to play.
Steven	*gasps* You're right! And he doesn't have any friends.
Lars	*mockingly* Oh my gosh. It's just like you, Steven.
(Steven takes a deep breath, sways a bit and conjures four more cat fingers on the same palm.)
Steven	Huh haa! *holds his hand up high*
Cat Fingers	Rraaooow!
[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]
Steven	*hiding his cat fingers behind his back* Hey, Peedee! Whoa, you work the deep-fryer now? *slams his fist on the counter* Make me some fry bits!
Peedee	Steven, I take my job seriously, please use the actual menu.
Steven	Give me the bits! *slams his fist again* The bits--!
Mr. Fryman	Alright listen, it'll be over sooner if you just give him what he wants. (Peedee sighs and walks away.)
Steven	Whoa, hey, hey, it's not for me. It's for these guys! *holds up the cat fingers, meowing away*
Mr. Fryman	What the--?!
Peedee	Uh, here's your... *looks at the cat fingers* ... bits.
(Steven dunks the cat fingers into the fry bits, and they start to eat.)
Mr. Fryman	I can't look away.
Peedee	Steven, that is freakish!
Steven	No, it's not. It's natural. *starts to sway his other arm* Shake... it... out! (All the fingers on his other hand turn into cats.) See! *dunks the other hand into the bits*
Peedee and Mr. Fryman	Whoa!
Mr. Fryman	You know who would love this? Your older brother. Yo, Ronaldo!
Ronaldo	What's up, daa... *notices Steven, start gasping and shoves Peedee out of the way* I've gotta take a pic for Keep Beach City Weird! *takes out his phone and snaps a picture of Steven and his cat fingers*
Steven	What's that?
Ronaldo	It's my blog: *dramatically* Keep Beach City Weird! (Peedee groans.)
Steven	Can I see the picture? (Steven takes the phone and the cats whine in agony.) Yikes! *drops phone* Sorry, guys. I guess cat fingers don't function well as... fingers.
[Trans. Int. Steven's House]
Steven	*struggles to open the fridge* Tsk, I'm just getting a snack! (Steven tries to pull a sandwich out, as the cat fingers start whining.)
Amethyst	Steven! Need some help?
Steven	*holding the sandwich with his elbows* Nah, i-it's cool.
Amethyst	Oh, good! See ya later then.
Steven	Huh?
Amethyst	We're taking the Gem Sloop out to sea to fight a living island.
Steven	What? *drops the sandwich* Uh, Amethyst, wait!
[Trans. Ext. Steven's House]
Steven	I wanna go on the Gem Sloop! I wanna see a living island! *runs down stairs and to the dock* Wait, wait, wait!
(Steven runs into the water to catch up to the Gems sailing away on the Gem Sloop.)
Pearl	Steven!
Amethyst	*laughs* C'mon, you can make it!
(Steven dunks his hands into the water to swim, but the cat fingers start meowing in agitation. The Gems gasp.)
Pearl	Steven, what's going on?
Steven	Waah! I-It's nothing! I-I just turned all my fingers into cats!
Amethyst	*snorts*
Pearl	We have to stay and help Steven!
Garnet	We can't. This is a tectonic emergency. We'll deal with Steven when we get back.
Pearl	Amethyst, I blame you for this!
Amethyst	Eh, that's fair.
Pearl	Grrr! Steven, just try to stay calm!
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
Steven	Enough! No more cat fingers! I want Steven fingers! ...And I don't mean little me heads on fingers, I mean my regular fingers!
(Steven breathes in and a spot on his head turns into a cat. He collapses onto the floor, and his whole arm turns into a cat.)
Steven	Wha! Aahhh! Stop! (His foot turns into a cat too.) Amethyst! (Cat heads start emerging from various parts of his body.) Pearl! ... Garnet! *gasps* Dad!
[Trans. Ext. It's a Wash]
Greg	*washing the floor with a hose while singing along to his headphone music, when he hears a bang* Hello? Who's there? We're closed. Come back tomorrow- WOOOHOOO!
(Greg notices Steven, now an amalgam of cats, and sprays at him in fright. The amalgam flinches, but crawls back towards Greg.)
Steven	*hardly audible* Dad!
Greg	Huh? *sees Steven's face among the cats and gasps* Steven?!
Steven	Dad! *starts tearing* Help! (More cats grow on his body.) The cat fingers are taking over my body! (More cats grow.) Eeeeer!
Greg	Hold on! Wha- *drops his hose* I'll get you out of there! (A cat bites his arm and throws him to the side.)
Steven	No! Bad! Bad cat fingers! (The cats, controlling his body, step in a puddle, hiss and jump to the roof of the car wash.)
Greg	Can't you make them go away?
Steven	I tried, but it made it worse! (More cats keep growing.) Ohh, my life is over! I can't go on magic adventures! I can't even open the fridge! And I'll never get to have another water fight with you, Dad! Because these things hate... water! They hate water! Dad, spray me again!
(Greg sprays Steven with the hose and the cats jump down of the building. They then start dashing towards Greg.)
Greg	Aaah! WOOOAAAHHH!
(Steven grabs onto the side of the car wash, preventing the cats from reaching Greg.)
Steven	It's not enough water! *looks inside the car wash and gasps* Turn on the super-wash!
Greg	No, I won't do it! It's too dangerous!
Steven	You've got to! I'm a monster! I'm an adorable cat monster!
Greg	*starts tearing up* No you're not! You're my son!
Steven	Dad, please! Aah...! (The cats begin to engulf his body.)
[Trans. Int. It's a Wash]
(Greg, determined, flips three switches and presses a button, activating the super-wash. Steven then crawls into the car wash. The jets spray Steven with water on all sides, causing the cats to meow in agitation. He then goes through a pair of waxers and another set of jets. Greg watches worriedly as Steven goes through the wash. He then rushes to the exit of the car wash and picks up a hose, ready to spray off any remaining cats. Steven then emerges from the wash, his clothes all torn up, but back to normal.)
Greg	Ah!
Steven	Dad... we did it.
(Steven realizes one of his fingers is still a cat and starts screaming. Greg screams too and sprays it with the hose. The cat finger disappears, and the two sighs in relief.)
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
(Steven is sitting on the dock, and the Gems returns on the Gem Sloop.)
Pearl	Steven! *climbs onto the dock and examines his hand* Okay, let me see it. Whe-? Y-you got them to go away. (Steven smiles.) It just goes to show, always listen to me, and never listen to Amethyst.
Amethyst	That's fair.
Garnet	It goes to show, you should have a little more faith in Steven. (Pearl blushes.)
Steven	Yeah, that would have been a total "cat"-tastrophe!
(Amethyst and Pearl forces a laugh.)
Steven	But I'm feeling much better "meow"!
(The Gems groan.)
Steven	Ehhh? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?
Garnet	Okay, that's enough. (The Gems walk away.)
Steven	Wait, I've been coming up with cat jokes all morning. You guys, I'm "feline" fine. Everything's "purr"-fect! Oh, come on! I'm just "kitten" around!
(The star iris zooms in on Steven, ending the episode.)
[END]