Cat Fingers/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of Cat Fingers. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Frybo"

Next: "Bubble Buddies"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Open Ext. It's a Wash]
(Greg is washing Mayor Dewey's Van with Steven.)
Greg	Almost done! *sprays van with hose* Steven, get the hubcaps!
Steven	Hubbing it up! *rubs hubcaps faster*
Greg	Hub it good! This is a high-profile job.
Steven	You mean cause it's the mayor's election-mobile?
Greg	If we do this right, we might get political favors!
Steven	I'm not sure what that is, but I like it! *grabs hose*
(Steven sprays the van with the hose and hits Greg by mistake. Greg hits him back, and they start to have a hose fight. They both start laughing, and the mayor walks towards them.)
Mayor Dewey	Hey, hey, hey! I'm not paying for father-son bonding here! (Steven sprays him with the hose.) Universe! *wipes water off self* Control that kid. *points to Steven*
Greg	*stands beside Steven* Steven! Hehe, I'm sorry, Mayor Dewey. Hehe, this one's on the house.
Mayor Dewey	On the house, eh. *stares at the van and then points to Greg* I like the way you do business, Universe. *climbs into car and drives away*
Car siren	Mayor Dewey! Mayor Dewey! Mayor Dewey! (Greg sighs.)
Steven	*emerges* Political favors! (Greg notices Steven.)
Greg	*picks him up* *noogies him* Ahh, you rascal! Enough with the hose fights!
Steven	*laughs* Aw, okay. (Steven and Greg get splashed by some water, and look down to see a purple cat holding a hose.)
Greg	What the?
Steven and Greg	Whoa!
(The cat chases them around, continuously spraying them with hose water.)
Greg	What is with this cat? (The cat then turns into Amethyst.)
Amethyst	Haha! Got you guys!
Steven	Amethyst!
Greg	Uh, pretty cool, Amethyst.
Steven	Really cool! I wish I could shapeshift like you!
Amethyst	*ties hose into a knot* You could probably learn.
Steven	Really?
Amethyst	Sure. *pulls up Steven's shirt* You've got a gem.
Greg	Whup! Magic stuff. Should I get out of here? Is there going to be an explosion?
Steven	Oh, it's no big deal dad. *pulls shirt down*
Amethyst	*shape-shifts into Steven* Yeah, it's fine.
Greg	Aah!
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
Amethyst	Hey Pearl. *shape-shifts into seal* Arp, arp!
(Steven laughs.)
Steven	Do more!
Amethyst	Check it out. (Amethyst shapeshifts into a wolf and Pearl stares blankly.) Aawwooo! *shapeshifts into Purple Puma* Raaa! *shapeshifts into a jay and perches on Steven's head*
Steven	Whoa!
Pearl	*walks over* Amethyst, you're overdoing it.
Amethyst	Uh, chill it dude.
Pearl	Just because you can shapeshift, doesn't mean you should.
Steven	Can you shapeshift?
Pearl	Well of course...
(Amethyst butts in and shapeshifts into Pearl.)
Amethyst	Well of course I can, I'm perfect! *hits her butt* WOMP! WOMP!
(Pearl pushes Amethyst to the side and Amethyst tumbles away laughing.)
Pearl	All Gems have shapeshifting powers, Steven. *projects hologram* We can turn into objects, we can change parts of our bodies or... we could do that. *looks at Amethyst who is still smacking her butt*
Amethyst	WOMP! WOMP!
Steven	I want to try it all!
Pearl	Don't bite off more than you can chew, Steven.
Amethyst	WOMP, WOMP!
Pearl	Ugh! *goes outside and Amethyst turns back into herself*
Steven	Alright! Show me how to change into a, uh, huge lion!
Amethyst	Actually, for once Pearl is right. If you're gonna do this, you've gotta start with something easy.
Steven	Like that cat you turned into?
Amethyst	That sounds good. Now follow my lead. First, think of what you wanna be, and then, just shake it out. (Amethyst demonstrates for Steven.) See? Haha! Now your turn.
Steven	Okay. *breathes in and tries* Caaatttt!
Amethyst	Nah, you're too tense. Just relax and feel it. *eats potato chip* Bio-rhythms, yo.
Steven	*presses fingertips against his temples* Feeeelll iittt.
Amethyst	Ehh, if you're not ready, we can try later.
Steven	No, wait! I can do it. (Amethyst shapeshifts back into herself and Steven starts "feeling it".) Yeah, yeah. HUH!
Amethyst	Well, it was a good try. (A meowing noise comes out of nowhere and Steven opens his palm to see a cat finger.)
Cat Finger	Rraow, rraow!
Amethyst	*laughing*
Steven	This is so cool!
Amethyst	You should go show your dad. He's gonna freak out!
Cat Finger	Rreow!
[Trans. Int. It's a Wash]
Steven	Dad, I'm back!
Greg	Hey, stu-ball.
Steven	Check it out! *shows cat finger to his dad, and Greg drops his water bottle on Steven* I shapeshifted my finger into a cat!
Greg	Whoa! Is, is that a thing you can do now? That's pretty... cool.
Steven	I know, right! I'm gonna take this show on the road! *starts laughing*
Cat Finger	Meow! Row! Reaw!
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
Sadie	That'll be a dollar 'o five Steven.
Steven	Mm, okay. Here's a nickel. And a buck! *hold up cat finger* (Cat finger meows.)
Sadie and Lars	Whaaat!?!
Sadie	Oh Steven, that's adorable! (Sadie pets the cat with her finger, which starts to purr.) Are... you making it purr?
Steven	It kinda does what it wants.
Lars	Really? (He roughly pokes the cat and it bites him.) Yow!
Steven	See what I mean? Bad cat finger!
Sadie	Oh, I'm sure it just wants to play.
Steven	*gasps* You're right! And he doesn't have any friends.
Lars	*mockingly* Oh my gosh. It's just like you, Steven.
(Steven breathes in and conjures four more cat fingers, then laughs.)
Steven	Huh haa!
[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]
Cat fingers	Rraaooow!
Steven	Hey, Peedee! Whoa, you work the deep-fryer now? *slams fist on the counter* Make me some fry bits!
Peedee	Steven, I take my job seriously, please use the actual menu.
Steven	Give me the bits! *slams fist* The bits!
Fryman	Alright listen, it'll be over sooner if you just give him what he wants. (Peedee sighs.)
Steven	Whoa, hey, hey, it's not for me. It's fo' THESE GUYS. *holds up cat fingers*
Fryman	What the?!
Peedee	Uh, here's your... *looks at the cat fingers* ... bits. (The cats start to eat the bits.)
Fryman	I can't look away.
Peedee	Steven, that is freakish.
Steven	No it's not. It's natural. *shakes fingers on other hand* Sha-ake... it... out! (The fingers on his other hand turn into cats.) See!
Peedee and Fryman	Whoa!
Fryman	You know who would love this? Your older brother. Yo Ronaldo!
Ronaldo	What's up daa... *gasps, drops box, and pushes Peedee to the side* I've gotta take a pic for Keep Beach City Weird! *takes out phone and snaps picture*
Cat Fingers	MEOW!
Steven	What's that?
Ronaldo	It's my blog. Keep! Beach! City! Weird! *does hand actions* (Peedee groans.)
Steven	Can I see the picture? (Steven takes the phone and the cats whine in agony.) Yikes! *drops phone* Sorry guys. I guess cat fingers don't function well as... fingers.
[Trans. Int. Steven's House]
Steven	Tsk, I'm just getting a snack! (Cat fingers whine and Steven pulls a sandwich out.)
Amethyst	Steven! Need some help?
Steven	Nah, i-it's cool.
Amethyst	Oh gooood! See ya later then.
Steven	Huh?
Amethyst	We're taking the Gem Sloop out to sea to fight a living island.
Steven	What? *drops sandwich* Uh, Amethyst, wait!
[Trans. Ext. Steven's House]
Steven	I wanna go on the Gem Sloop! I wanna see a living island! WAIT! WAIT! *runs down stairs and to the dock* WAIT! (Steven runs into the water to catch up to the Gem Sloop.)
Pearl	Steven!
Amethyst	*laughs* C'mon, you can make it! (The cats meow when Steven starts to paddle and the Gems gasp.)
Pearl	Steven, what's going on?
Steven	Waah! I-it's nothing! I-i just turned all my fingers into cats!
Amethyst	*snorts*
Pearl	We have to stay and help Steven!
Garnet	We can't. This is a tectonic emergency. We'll deal with Steven when we get back.
Pearl	Amethyst, I blame YOU for this.
Amethyst	Eah, that's fair.
Pearl	Grrr! Steven, just try to stay calm!
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
Steven	Enough! No more cat fingers! I want Steven fingers! ... And I don't mean little me heads on fingers, I mean my REGULAR fingers! (Steven breathes in and a spot on his head turns into a cat, then his arm turns into a cat.) Wha! Aahhh! Stop! (His foot turns into a cat.) Amethyst! (Various parts of his body turn into cats.) Pearl! ... Garnet! [Gasps] Dad!
[Trans. Ext. It's a Wash]
Greg
Steven	*hardly audible* Dad!
Greg	Huh? (Sees Steven's face among the cats and gasps) Steven?
Steven	Dad! (Starts tearing up) Help! (More cats grow.) Eeeeer!! The cat fingers are taking over my body! (More cats grow.) Eeeeer!!
Greg	Hold on, wha- I'll get you out of there! (A cat bites his arm and throws him to the side.)
Steven	No! Bad! Bad cat fingers! (He steps in a puddle and the cats makes him jump to the roof.)
Greg	Can't you make them go away?
Steven	I tried, but it made it worse! (More cats grow.) Ohh, my life is over! I can't go on magic adventures! I can't even open the fridge! And I'll never get to have another water fight with you, Dad! Because these things hate... water! They hate water! Dad, spray me again! (Greg sprays him and he jumps down. Then the cats run towards Greg.)
Greg	Aaahahahaaahhh! (Steven grabs side of the car wash stopping the cats in time.)
Steven	It's not enough water! *gasp* Turn on the super-wash!
Greg	No, I won't do it! It's too dangerous!
Steven	You've got to! I'm a monster! I'm an adorable cat monster!
Greg
Steven	Dad! Please! Aahhh! (Cats engulf his body.)
[Trans. Int. It's a Wash]
(Greg flips three switches and presses a button, enabling the super-wash. Steven then crawls in. The jets spray Steven on all sides. He then goes through two waxers, and another set of jets. Greg rushes to the opening and picks up a hose, ready to attack any remaining cats.)
[Trans. Ext. It's a Wash]
Steven	Dad. (Steven's clothes are all ripped.) We did it.
(One of Steven's fingers is still a cat, so Greg hoses it, while they both scream.)
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
(Steven is sitting on the dock, and the Gems arrive.)
Pearl	Steven! *climbs onto dock and holds his hand* Okay, let me see it. W-? Y-you got them to go away?
(Steven smiles.)
Pearl	It just goes to show, always listen to me, and never listen to Amethyst.
Amethyst	That's fair.
Garnet	It goes to show, you should have a little more faith in Steven. (Pearl blushes.)
Steven	Yeah, that would have been a total CAT-tastrophe!
Amethyst and Pearl
Steven	But I'm feeling much better MEOW!
(The Gems groan.)
Steven	Ehhh? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?
Garnet	Okay, that's enough.
(The Gems walk away.)
Steven	Wait, I've been coming up with cat jokes all morning. You guys, I'm FELINE fine. Everything's PURRRRFECT! Oh come on! I'm just KITTEN around!
[END]