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This is a transcribed copy of "Coach Steven". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Rose's Room" Next: "Joking Victim"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. Gem Communication Hub]
(The Crystal Gems arrives by warping to the Warp Pad at the Gem Communication Hub.)
Steven *looks up amazed* Woah! What magical place of mysteries is this?
Amethyst Well...
Pearl *interrupts Amethyst* Oh, I'm so glad you asked! This was once a communication hub for Gem-kind. *walks over to the pillars of the hub* But lately, it's begun transmitting bursts of electromagnetic interference!
Steven Whazzat mean?
Garnet It's hurting television.
Steven Noooooooo! I'll save you television! HA-YAH! *tries to kick and push over a pillar*
Amethyst *lifts Steven up* Sorry, but we need a Steven at least... this strong for this job! *shapeshifts into a stronger-looking Steven with a deeper voice*
Steven *gasps* It's all the me I could be!
(Amethyst puts Steven down, and starts punching at the pillar as the strong Steven. Pearl catches a small piece of the pillar punched off by Amethyst and begins lecturing her.)
Pearl Amethyst, we could be here all day taking out these pillars individually.
Amethyst Ugh, I hate it when you're right. You get this look on your face... *looks at Pearl's face* Yeah, that's the one.
Pearl What we need is a well thought out plan.
(Pearl's gem starts to project a hologram, when Garnet interrupts.)
Garnet No. What we need is Sugilite. Amethyst, fuse with me.
Amethyst & Pearl WHAAAT?!
(Amethyst begins to scream in excitement and Pearl looks annoyed.)
Amethyst Yeah! Let's mash it up! Bigger, badder, better! Ohohohohoho! *twirls around*
Steven Hold your horses! Are... you guys going to become a Gem Fusion?!
(Amethyst replies excitedly with a scream. Steven joins in the screaming in excitement too.)
Pearl WAIT! *turns to Garnet* Garnet, think about this. You and Amethyst can be a little... eheh... unstable when your personalities combine. We need to be careful! Fuse with me instead.
Garnet *places her hand over Pearl's shoulder* We don't need to be careful. We just need to be huge.
Amethyst Oh, yeah! Let's wreck this joint!
Garnet Synchronize.
(Garnet's gemstones begin to glow as she starts to dance.)
Steven *eyes gets covered by Pearl* Wha-? Whu-? Pearl, come on! I wanna see! *prys her fingers away*
(Garnet and Amethyst continues their fusion dance, fusing together and forming Sugilite.)
Sugilite Hahahahaha! *laughs and cracks knuckles* I forgot how great it feels to be me!
Steven That's Sugilite?
Sugilite You got it, baby. Hey, Steven, wanna see something cool?
Steven Yeah!
(Sugilite summons Garnet's gauntlets and Amethyst's whip, and fuses them together to form her flail. Steven gasps loudly in amazement.)
Sugilite You like that, little man?
Steven Are you gonna smash stuff with your wrecking-ball-thingy?
Sugilite That's the plan! Where should I start?
Steven Do that one! *points to a nearby pillar*
(Sugilite proceeds to smash some pillars with her flails.)
Pearl Steven, I think we should go.
Steven No way! This is awesome!
(Sugilite continues smashing more pillars, causing debris to fall everywhere.)
Pearl Watch it!
(Pearl kicks away a debris heading towards her, but a small rock then hits Steven in the face, knocking him onto the ground)
Pearl Steven! *yells at Sugilite* Ugh, you're just too much!
Sugilite Maybe you're just too little!
Pearl Steven, we're going! *picks Steven up*
Steven What? I'm fine! What about Sugilite?
Pearl She can find her own way home!
Steven Awww...
(Pearl and Steven warp away, just before a huge rock destroys the Warp Pad.)
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
(Steven enters the Big Donut wearing sunglasses and a big roll of gauze wrapped around his head.)
Steven 'Sup?
Sadie Whoa! Steven, what happened to you?
Steven Oh just a little battle damage from our last mission.
Sadie Really?
Lars Like what?
Steven I got hit by a rock!
(Steven lifts up his gauze, revealing a tiny cut on his forehead. Both Sadie and Lars starts laughing at Steven's "battle damage".)
Sadie It must not have been a very big rock.
Steven *covers up the cut in embarrassment* Well, there's... internal bleeding. My hurt is on the inside!
Sadie *keeps laughing* Oh, okay!
Lars *keeps laughing* Toughen up, Steven!
Steven You're right. I'm soft. *takes his gauze off*
Lars If I weren't so modest, I'd whip out my sweet six-pack and... *struggles to open a can of sardines* you what... a real man... looks like... *grunts*
(Sadie offers to open the can. Lars passes the can to her and she opens it with ease, returning it to Lars.)
Lars Nah... I'm not gonna say thanks. *gets punched in the leg by Sadie* Aha... aha....
Steven That's it! We all need a workout! Let's do it! Let's workout together! *points to Sadie* You can beat up Lars! *turns to Lars* And you don't have to starve to death if Sadie divorces you!
Lars We're not married!
Steven And I know just the guy to help us out.
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
(Greg is fast asleep on a workbench, after constructing a makeshift gym on the beach. Steven, Lars and Sadie arrive wearing workout outfits.)
Steven Wow! This looks great!
Greg Huh...? Wha? *wakes up from his nap*
Steven Hey, Dad!
Greg Hey, Steven, you like it? It's the best I can do on such short notice.
Lars *picks up a dumbbell made of cans, which quickly falls apart* No kidding.
Greg Well, I might join you kids show you how it's done. I've been slacking on my workout routine for few weeks... months... years... *coughs* Decades.
Steven Sure! The more the meatier! Oh! We'll need sweatbands!
(Steven runs up to the his house. Pearl then passes by the gym as Greg picks up a real dumbbell)
Greg Hey, Pearl. Come to check out some buff studs?
Pearl No. *walks up to Steven's house* Steven, what on earth are you up to?
Steven We're starting a gym! *flexes* Imma get super strong! Like Sugilite!
Pearl You know, maybe this isn't a good idea.
Steven What? I wanna be strong so I can be useful to the team!
Pearl There are different ways of being strong.
Steven But I want to be strong in the real way. Come on, Pearl. *puts on a sweatband* Let's get beefy!
Pearl *pouts* I'd rather not. *enters the house*
(Pearl sighs as she closes the door behind. She then begins to sing "Strong in the Real Way".)
Pearl Steven...

Why do you have to look up to her
Aside from in a literal sense?
Don't you know that a power that big
Comes with a bigger expense?

(She picks up Steven's clothes on the floor.)

And can't you see that she's out of control
And overzealous?
I'm telling you for your own good,
And not because I'm...

(She sees everyone working out through the windows and pulls down the blinds in disapproval.)

I can show you how to be strong...
In the real way.
And I know that we can be strong
In the real way.
And I want to inspire you
I want to be your rock
And when I talk
It lights a fire in you

(All the while, Steven is peeking and eavesdropping on Pearl's song. Determined, Steven turns up the volume of his stereo and yells into his megaphone at the gym.)
Steven Who's ready to get buff? I don't wanna see your gut, I wanna see your guts!
(Steven sees Pearl looking at them from the porch, but she quickly looks away and goes back inside the house.)

I can show you how to be strong...
In the real way
And I know that we can be strong
In the real way
And I want to inspire you
I want to be your rock
And when I talk
It lights a fire in you

(Steven continues instructing and inspiring everyone with the workout.)

I want to inspire you
I want to be your rock
And when I talk
It lights a fire in you!

(After he stops singing, everyone is visibly tired out.)
Sadie Hey, Steven, maybe um, you can work out a bit, too?
Steven Huh? I have been.
Lars We've been working out. You've just been singing some dumb song.
Greg But you're doing a great job pumping us up.
Steven Thanks, but I need to get strong, too. I'm switching to four-wheel drive! *puts four tires on his body and begins running around*
[Time Skip — The next day at sunrise]
(Sadie, Lars, and Greg are all waiting outside the house for Steven.)
Sadie Steven, come on! We're ready to get started! We can't work out without your mad coaching skills!
[Trans. Int. Steven's Room]
Steven *groans in pain* Be there in a sec! *struggles to get off of bed and down the stairs* So sore from getting ripped...
Pearl I don't understand. Amethyst and Garnet still aren't back yet. I tried to warp back to check on them, but the warp pad is down!
(Suddenly, the ground starts to shake and voices can be heard outside.)
Greg & Lars What?!
Sadie Are you seeing this too?!
(The house starts to rumble and crumbles falls from the ceiling.)
Pearl & Steven Wha-!
(Pearl and Steven quickly exit the house and see Sugilite in the distance, marching towards them in the ocean.)
Greg What the hey is that?!
Lars *falls off from the makeshift monkey bars* Oohoomph!
(Sugilite arrives at the beach and everyone runs away in fear.)
Sugilite *roars* I'm BORED!!!!!
Steven It's Sugilite!
Pearl *approaches Sugilite* Y-you're back!
Sugilite You left me behind!
Pearl We just thought you didn't need any help. Now why don't you separate, and we can all sit down and relax?
Sugilite NO! *kicks Pearl*
Steven Pearl!
Pearl Listen to me! You've been fused for too long! You're losing yourselves!
Sugilite I am myself, and I'm sick of being split up! So you better get used to me, baby, and get this junk of my beach! *destroys the makeshift gym*
Steven *struggles over to Pearl* Why is she wrecking Dad's gym? Why is she attacking you?!
Pearl *lifts Steven up and tosses him away* Steven, get out of here!
Steven *lands stomach-down on the ground and is stuck limp* I can't move... *moans in pain*
(Pearl summons her spear and stances herself for battle.)
Sugilite What, you wanna fight?!
Pearl You'll thank me later!
(Pearl leaps towards Sugilite, but she is quickly swatted away.)
Greg Come on, kid! *helps Steven to get up*
Steven Dad, no! Pearl!
(Pearl stands back up and leaps off again, this time, managing to knock off Sugilite's visor.)
Steven & Greg *gasp*
Sugilite You think you're something? You! *headbutts Pearl to the ground* Ain't! *hits Pearl into the sky* Nothing!!! *smacks Pearl into the ground from the sky*
(Sugilite then attempts to crush Pearl with her flail, but barely misses her. It also sends Steven and Greg flying some distance into the sand and damages Steven's house.)
Steven My muscles!
Pearl Steven! Ugh... *kneels in pain and almost starts to cry* I'm sorry, Steven... Garnet, Amethyst... *sniffs* I wasn't strong enough to protect you. I'm not strong enough to do anything...
(Steven then sees the megaphone nearby and crawls towards it.)
Steven *using the megaphone* Come on, Pearl! Don't give up! I know you can take her down!
Pearl I can't...
Steven Yes, you can! Come on! You always knew what to do! You gotta show her what you showed me! That you're strong, Pearl! Strong in the real way!
(Pearl looks up at the Crystal Temple and, regaining some confidence, slowly pulls herself back on her feet.)
Sugilite What?! You want some more?!
Pearl Anytime! You're no match for me! Not even close!
(Sugilite punches towards Pearl, which she dodges and then runs away. Sugilite then chases after Pearl up to the lighthouse on the cliff.)
Steven Go!
Sugilite Get back here!
(Pearl leaps off the cliff.)
Sugilite *laughs* Nice try.
(Sugilite starts swinging her flail. Pearl then hurls her spear at the ground underneath Sugilite, causing her to lose her footing, fall off the cliff and crash onto the beach.)
Sugilite Is that all you got? You think that's enough to be-
(Sugilite's flail lands smack on her head, separating her back into Garnet and Amethyst in a poof of purple cloud.)
Pearl Amethyst, Garnet! Are you OK!?
Garnet *weakly* Yeah... Sugilite just overworked our bodies. It's... a little painful.
Amethyst And I've got a monster headache.
(Pearl pulls Garnet and Amethyst for a tearful hug. Garnet and Amethyst groan in pain as the sound of bone cracking is heard, causing Pearl to quickly release them.)
Pearl Oh... *chuckles* Whoops.
Steven Pearl, you did it!
Pearl *panting* Thanks. You make a good coach.
Garnet Pearl, we should've listened... You were right.
Pearl Yeah. I was right.
Steven Go, Pearl!
Pearl Come on! I feel great! Who's up for a mission?! Or...
(Pearl continues shouting in the background, as two star irises zoom in on Garnet and Amethyst.)
Amethyst How long is she going to keep this up?
Garnet We deserve it. Take it like a Gem.
Lars (Another star iris pops over him and Sadie.) Uh, what the heck just happened?
Steven (Another star iris pops over him.) Drop and give me 20!!!!!

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus