Dewey Wins/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of Dewey Wins. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Lars' Head"

Next: "Gemcation"

Speaker	Dialogue
The episode begins outside the temple at night. Greg, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl watch Steven worriedly from inside.
Steven	We'll be fine! I'll be right back. I'm just gonna walk Connie out. Don't worry! I'm not going back into space or anything. [Laughs] They're never gonna let me out of their sight again. Connie?
Connie walks off from Steven and Lion. Steven and Lion run up to her.
Steven	Connie! I know you got to get home and get some sleep, but once you're all rested up, I can't wait to tell you about everything! Being on Homeworld was crazy! After I turned myself in, they put me on trial! And Lars was there. We got chased by killer robots. [Chuckles] What a wild ride that was. And uh... I'm really happy to see you again.
Steven grows concerned with Connie's silence.
Steven	Umm... a-are you happy to see me, too?
Connie	Of course I'm happy to see you, Steven.
Steven	Uh, but?
Connie	But how could you just give yourself up like that?
Steven	Well, first, I said I was my dad, and then I said I was my mom.
Connie	[Scoffs] No. I mean, you just gave up.
Steven	I had to. They were gonna take all those people. They were gonna take you!
Connie	But what about our training? Stevonnie. Jam buds. I believed in us. We could have done it together.
Steven	This is different. This whole thing was my fault, but I knew that I could fix it all if I turned myself in. And look -- No one got hurt. Well, except for Lars, but I saved him, too.
Connie	But... I'm hurt.
Steven	No, you're not. You're safe. You're here. I'm here. We're safe. Everything's fine.
Connie	It's not, though.
Steven	You know, it was a tough decision for me to make, but it had to be done.
Connie	You don't get it.
Steven	Get what?
Connie lowers her head in disappointment.
Connie	Let's go, Lion.
Lion glares disapprovingly at Steven, then runs over the water with Connie to warp her home.
Steven	[Sarcastically] "Wow, Steven, that was so brave of you. I'm so glad you're back."
At the Big Donut during daytime.
Sadie	What?! And Lars is still in space?!
Steven	Yeah, he is, but don't worry. He's with some very nice Gems who are on the run from their Homeworld overlords.
Sadie	Oh, Laaaars.
Steven	Sadie, he's fine. We can go see him anytime through Lion.
Sadie	[Tearing] Glad he's not -- At least he's some kind of alive. You told his parents, right?
Steven	You're kind of my practice run for that.
Steven and Sadie exit the Big Donut.
Sadie	[Sigh] Let's do this quick. I can't be away from work too long. I'm basically their only employee now.
Steven and Sadie encounter a protest crowd in front of Fish Stew Pizza.
Steven	Whoa, what's going on?
Man	We're sick of it!
Steven and Sadie witness the lead advocate, who turns out to be Nanefua Pizza
Nanefua	Am I right about it?! Aliens nearly abducted the whole town. And what did Mayor "Billiam" Dewey do about it? That is right. Jack and squat!
The crowd resumes shouting.
Sadie	Steven, I'm going to Lars' parents' house.
Steven	Okay, I'll catch up with you.
Nanefua	And that is why you should vote for me, your favorite Nanefua, for mayor of Beach City!
The crowd cheers.
Nanefua	When I say "Do we want Dewey?", you say "No." Do we want Dewey?
All excluding Steven	No!
Nanefua	Do we want Dewey?
All excluding Steven	No!
Nanefua	Okay, good job.
Steven	Hmm.
Steven types a message for Connie on his phone.
Steven	"Can't hang today. Mayor D's getting blamed for Gem stuff, and it's totally my fault."
At Bill Dewey's office while Bill look out to the protesters
Bill	I don't know, Universe. This doesn't look good.
Steven	How's this?
Steven shows his own protest sign that reads "Dewey's Great ♡."
Bill	Oh. That looks great. But I may need more. My gosh. I've never had an opponent before. Even when I ran for mayor of high school, I ran unopposed. Probably because I made up the position.
Steven	If only I could've warned you about this abduction stuff sooner, then everything would be fine now. I really dropped the ball.
Bill	You're right, Universe. This is all your fault. Huh.
Steven	How about we call an impromptu town meeting on the boardwalk? I'll tell everyone what happened and how you weren't involved at all, and everyone'll feel better and vote for you in the next election.
Bill	All right, Universe. The ball's back in your court. Just, uh... don't drop it again, huh?
At the boardwalk
Steven	So, in conclusion, Mayor Dewey had nothing whatsoever to do with the abductions. Everything was my fault because I unknowingly provided some space Gems with a list of names and put everyone in danger. Mayor Dewey would never do anything to purposefully endanger the town. He basically just keeps a low profile and doesn't get involved in much of anything.
Woman	Yeah, maybe he should be involved!
Man	He's the mayor!
The crowd boos.
Steven	Thanks for listening, and please vote for him in the next Beach City mayoral election.
Bill takes the megaphone from Steven to speak to the crowd.
Bill	Oh, ho, ho, yeah! Hello, everyone. Thanks for coming. Wow! This whole abduction business was a real close call, huh? Whoo. But look around you. Everyone is safe and accounted for.
Sadie	That's not true! What about my friend Lars?
Bill	Who?
Sadie	What? Lars! Lars Barriga?! Mr. and Mrs. Barriga's son! Did you even know he was still missing? Did you know he was still somewhere in space?! What kind of mayor doesn't know when his own people are lost in space?!
Bill	The donut boy? Is that why the donut shop was closed this morning?
Steven	Yeah, but --
Bill	Do not worry. I will do everything in my power to hire a new donut boy.
The crowd boos.
Steven	No! [Facepalm]
Sadie	You've got to be kidding me!
Martha Barriga throws a tomato at Bill and lands it on his face.
At Beach Citywalk Fries during dusk
Bill	How did this get on the Internet so fast?
A video of Dewey's tomato splatter is shown.
Bill	I didn't invite any press to this event.
Steven	Someone posted it on TubeTube. Only 12 people have seen it.
Bill	12 people?! That's half the town! I'm finished, Universe. I don't know of many political figures that have made a comeback after getting a tomato to the face.
Watches the video on loop.
Bill	Oh, again, and again, and again, and again.
Steven	You need to stop looping that. Look, we're gonna get through this together, okay? Tomorrow is the big debate. You still have one more chance to win back the town's love.
Bill	But Steven, some of the things people have been saying about me are really painful and mean.
Steven	We've just got to change the conversation. We can start with this.
Steven hands Bill a book on "how to talk to people."
Bill	"How to talk to people"?
Steven	I'm going to get you ready for that debate, even if it takes all night.
At the "Speech-A-Palooza" during daytime residing murmurs from the crowd
Steven	All right. [Yawns] Today's the day. You got your note cards, you look great, and if anyone brings up the alien invasion thing, I wrote a bunch of Ocean Town jokes for you to use.
Bill	Aww, shucks, Universe. You're like the son I never had.
Steven	You... have a son.
Bill	I know that. You're just very different from him, is all.
The crowd chants for a speech. Bill whines in anxiousness. Steven and Bill hug it out.
Steven	I'm rooting for you, Dew Drops.
Bill	[Weakly] Thanks.
The chanting continues until the nominees take their stands and have the curtain risen.
Bill	[Clears throat] People of Beach City. You might think that being a mayor is a fine and glamorous sort of thing. I can understand why my opponent would want the position. But I've been mayor of this city for a decade, and I know some things that Ms. Nanefua does not. You see, when you're the mayor, you get blamed for everything. When the boardwalk has termites, it's the mayor's fault. When aliens steal people, it's the mayor's fault. When the mayor crashes the mayor mobile into the only cell tower in town, it's the mayor's fault. Most people can't handle that kind of pressure, but I can. So, I say to you, Beach City citizens, just enjoy our wonderful ocean breeze and don't worry about a thing. Just let Dewey "do" it for you!
The crowd murmurs but approves of the statement and applauds.
Steven	Nice.
Nanefua	You know, Mayor Dewey, you are right.
Bill	I am? A-About what?
Nanefua	I have blamed you for too many things, and that is not helping.
The crowd murmurs.
Steven	What?
Nanefua	Blaming our problems completely on the mayor is not getting us anywhere. When one of us suffers, the town suffers. When you suffer, Mayor Billiam, the town suffers. So, no longer will I point my fingers at you. I will extend all my fingers on both my hands to everyone here today and ask that we share responsibility for the welfare and safety of Beach City, together! Thank you.
The crowd cheers heavily and chants for "Nanefua"
Steven	You got this, Mayor Dewey.
Bill stammers and accidentally slips his notes everywhere. He picks them up and attempts to read a provided Ocean Town joke.
Bill	Uh, did you ever notice how people from Ocean Town -- Oh, who am I kidding? Beach City deserves a real mayor. Someone wise and collected like Ms. Nanefua.
The crowd murmurs.
Steven	Wait. No, no, no.
Bill	I withdraw from the race. You can find the key to the city under the city welcome mat.
The crowd cheers as Bill walks offstage sighing.
Steven	Mayor Dewey, what're you doing?! Y-You can't just throw the election like that. W-We could still win!
Bill	Well, I know it's not very traditional to do that in the middle of a debate, but why drag it out?
Steven	We could have won! I really believed in you! I really believed in us!
Bill	Well, you were wrong. What do you want me to say?
Steven	How about, "I'm sorry. We were in this together, and I let you down."
Bill	Come on, Universe. You know she's gonna be a better mayor than me. It was the right thing to do.
Steven	I guess, but... I still feel betrayed. That's probably how Connie feels.
Bill	Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, but I've got to find a new job.
Bill walks off while humming. Steven gets out his phone as he attempts to call Connie.
Back at the Beach House during dusk
Steven still attempts to call Connie to no avail until the end of the episode.