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Season 1

I hope this place has unlimited breadsticks.

—"Fusion Cuisine"

That "1,000 years of no dinner" bit, was pretty funny. *laughs*
Garnet: All comedy is derived from fear.
*laughs* You are too much.

—"Fusion Cuisine"

I think you know where the door is. Since you're... standing in it.

—"Winter Forecast"

Steven: He can't drive in the snow!
What? Y-Yes, I can!

—"Winter Forecast"

It's starting to get pretty bad out there. I don't know if you Universes should be driving in this weather.

—"Winter Forecast"

Season 4

Drop those fry bits! Drop em'!

—"Doug Out"

And how's my swashbuckling swashbuckler doing?

—"Doug Out"

You know, Steven, maybe you're dehydrated. Probably from eating all that garbage before dinner.

—"Doug Out"

I'm out here on a job, actually. The private security company I work for got a call from a Mr... Harold Smiley, stating that someone's been lurking around Funland after hours. So I'll be here all night. On... *grabs his glasses and the lenses shine* A stakeout!

—"Doug Out"

Yeah, it is pretty cool, huh? *blushes* Protecting the citizens of Beach City. Just like you guys!

—"Doug Out"

So, ya'll ready for this? Some of these teens can use some pretty strong language.

—"Doug Out"

Well yeah, nobody's gonna even try hopping the fence with us here. But you never know, sometimes, I actually leave the car.

—"Doug Out"

How do you know I'm not undercover right now? *takes off his glasses* Just kidding. *chuckles* I need these to see. But if you guys want to play with that stuff, go ahead.

—"Doug Out"

How on Earth did this happen? If this were some punk with a pair of bolt cutters, this would have been a clean cut. But this chain looks like it was torn apart. This was no kid.

—"Doug Out"

Hello? This is security! You are trespassing on private property. Do not attempt to make yourself a corn dog. Funland Incorporated is not liable for the harm you may incur on trying to operate a deep fryer without a license.

—"Doug Out"

Gotcha! I mean freeze! Oh, man.

—"Doug Out"

Homeworld? Gem? Mutant? I, uhh... Well, whatever it is, if someone's trespassing, they'll have to answer to me!

—"Doug Out"

*groans* Of course. It's never actually something.
Connie: What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong, it's just... My job isn't the exhilarating adventures you've been having with Steven. Or the life-threatening emergencies your mom deals with at the hospital. The most action I see is telling kids to quit loitering around. I was hoping maybe you'd get to see me take on a serious job. But, I guess all I'm good at is being your silly, old dad.

—"Doug Out"
ve Character quotes
Crystal Gems Half: Steven Universe

Unfused: Rose Quartz • PearlAmethystRuby • Sapphire • Peridot • Bismuth • Lapis Lazuli • Larimar
Fusions: Garnet • Alexandrite • Opal • Sardonyx • Sugilite
Hybrid Fusions: Stevonnie • Smoky Quartz • Rainbow Quartz 2.0 • Sunstone

Homeworld Gems Unfused: Aquamarine • Emerald • Diamonds (Blue Diamond • Yellow Diamond • White Diamond • Pink Diamond) • Lapis Lazulis • (Mean Lapis• Nice Lapis) • Pearls (Blue PearlYellow PearlPink Pearl) • Quartzes (Cherry Quartz • Holly Blue Agate • Jasper • Hippie Rose Quartz • Shy Rose Quartz • Superfan Rose Quartz) • Spinel • Rubies (ArmyDocEyeballLeggyNavy) • Zircons (Defending ZirconProsecuting Zircon)

Fusions: Bluebird AzuriteMalachite

Other Unaligned Gems: Fluorite • Padparadscha • Rhodonite • Rutile Twins

Other: Holo-Pearl

Humans Main: Greg Universe • Connie Maheswaran • Lars Barriga • Sadie Miller

Recurring: Andy DeMayo • Bill Dewey • Buck Dewey • Quentin Frowney • Mr. Fryman • Peedee Fryman • Ronaldo Fryman • Jamie • Kevin • Doug Maheswaran • Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran • Marty • Barbara Miller • Jenny Pizza • Kiki Pizza • Kofi Pizza • Nanefua Pizza • Shep • Harold Smiley • Sour Cream • Vidalia

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