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This is a transcribed copy of "Doug Out". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Lion 4: Alternate Ending" Next: "The Good Lars"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries, Evening]
(Steven, with Connie, is getting a bag of fry bits from Peedee at the fry shop.)
Steven Thanks for the bits, Peedee. *walks off with Connie* Oh, and tell Ronaldo I hope his weird rash clears up soon.
(Steven and Connie sit on a bench and begin eating the fry bits.)
Steven Life can get really intense, huh?
Connie Yeah, especially your life. Let's see, alien abduction.
Steven Going to a weird zoo for humans in space.
Connie And sneaking out past a pair of intergalactic tyrants!
(Steven and Connie laugh together.)
Steven *takes a fry bit from the bag and lifts it up to the sky* Well, it's nice to know that we can still have peaceful days like this without any trouble.
(Steven flicks the fry bit and attempt to catch it in his mouth, but fails, and he laughs.)
Connie Almost.
??? *yelling* Hey, kid!
(Steven and Connie look over and spot Doug speaking through a megaphone by his car.)
Doug Drop those fry bits! Drop em'!
Steven Oh no, it's the cops!
Connie Huh?
Steven All the years of ordering off menu have finally come back to taunt me!
Connie You meant haunt you? Steven, that's not even a police car, it's just-
Steven I surrender! *gets off the bench and runs towards Doug* I knew I was breaking the rules but, I did it anyway! The bits had their hooks in meeee.
Connie *runs over to Steven, laughing* Dad, quit joking around!
Doug Come on, Connie I almost had him! *takes the megaphone away from his mouth*
Steven Mr. Maheswaran!? *sighs in relief and collapses to the ground*
Doug *puts his megaphone in his car and walks over to Steven* Wow, I didn't think he would take it that seriously. *squats down* You okay there Steven?
Steven Oh, yeah, I love it down here.
Doug And how's my swashbuckling swashbuckler doing?
Connie I'm good.
Doug You know, Steven, maybe you're dehydrated. Probably from eating all that garbage before dinner.
Steven Respectfully, fry bits are not garbage.
Connie Don't worry, Steven, he's just messing with you.
Doug *chuckles* Sorry Steven, Let's get you up.
(Steven, Connie and Doug walk over to Doug's car.)
Connie So what are you even doing in Beach City, Dad?
Doug *takes a note from his car* I'm out here on a job, actually. The private security company I work for got a call from a Mr... Harold Smiley, stating that someone's been lurking around Funland after hours. So I'll be here all night. On... *grabs his glasses and the lenses shine* A stakeout!
Steven Woah, a stakeout!
Connie Dad, that's so cool!
Doug Yeah, it is pretty cool, huh? *blushes* Protecting the citizens of Beach City. Just like you guys!
Connie Wouldn't that be fun, Steven?
Steven Yeah! I'd love to go on a stakeout sometime.
Doug Maybe you guys, could help out tonight.
Steven & Connie What?!
Connie Even though we're not officially sanctioned security personnel?
Doug Hey, why not. It's probably just some kid loitering- Hey, kid!
(Doug calls out to Onion, leaning against a lamppost, and he waves at Doug.)
Doug Yes, hello!? The sign above you says "no loitering"!
(Onion shrugs and walks off.)
Doug They get younger every year. So, ya'll ready for this? Some of these teens can use some pretty strong language.
Connie Hey Steven, you wanna help ruin some teen's night?
Steven Always.
[Trans. Beach City Funland, Night-time]
(Steven and Connie joins Doug in his stakeout in his car, parked outside of Funland.)
Steven *whispering* Coast is all clear behind us.
Connie Things seem pretty quiet so far.
Doug Well yeah, nobody's gonna even try hopping the fence with us here. But you never know, sometimes, I actually leave the car.
Steven & Connie Wow!
Doug I'm sure you guys do lots of waiting when you're saving the world. It can't be all "bam pow" action all the time.
Steven Aww, I wish. There's a lot of fighting, I mean, I kind of inherited an intergalactic war.
Connie *rummages through a box in the car* Hey Dad, what's this box?
Doug Oh, I just... confiscated that from a kid who was shoplifting in a costume shop.
Steven Woah! *takes a fake mustache out and puts it on* You could totally use these for disguises! Don't you ever need to go.. Undercover?
Doug How do you know I'm not undercover right now? *takes off his glasses*
(Steven and Connie look surprised.)
Doug Just kidding. *chuckles* I need these to see. But if you guys want to play with that stuff, go ahead.
Connie Okay, well I want to be undercover. I'll be.. *wears a red hat and coat* Veronica Cucamonga.
Steven *wears a green cap, and in an Italian accent* It's a-me, Peter Pizzapoppolis, from Italia!
Connie Pizzapoppolis? That sounds Greek. You sure you don't want anything Dad? There's a clown nose back here. *squeaks the clown nose*
Doug No thanks, being a security guard is no joke. Which is why, they equip us with these. *pulls out a flashlight*
Connie Wow, a flashlight!
Doug Yeah. It gets pretty dark out there.
(A loud crash is then heard.)
Doug What was that!?
(The trio walks up to the locked front gates of the fun fair, finding out it has been broken in.)
Steven Mama mia the fence-a!
Doug How on Earth did this happen? If this were some punk with a pair of bolt cutters, this would have been a clean cut. *leans down and grabs a piece of the broken fence* But this chain looks like it was torn apart. This was no kid.
Connie Well, if it wasn't a misguided teen, what could it be?
Doug It's up to us to find out! Sounds like we better investigate. Cucamonga, Pizzapoppolis.
Connie Right!
Steven Right-a!
(The trio begin walking into the fun fair, when Connie notices a ripped piece of fabric on the broken fence.)
Connie Huh? *picks up the fabric and puts it in her pocket*
Doug Hello? This is security! You are trespassing on private property. Do not attempt to make yourself a corn dog. Funland Incorporated is not liable for the harm you may incur on trying to operate a deep fryer without a license.
Steven You need a license to operate a deep fryer?
(Another loud crash is heard.)
Connie Woah.
(A big shadow appears in the light beam of Doug's flashlight.)
Doug Hey, stop right there!
(The trio runs towards the shadow and takes cover behind a booth.)
Doug Follow my lead.
(The trio somersault one-by-one across the ground and Doug shines his flashlight ahead.)
Doug Don't move!
(There is no one is sight ahead.)
Connie Did we lose them?
Steven Which a-way did they go so fast-a?
Doug Mouths closed, eyes and ears open.
(The trio cups their hands around their ears to listen out for any sound, and hears the door of the Hyper Space ride creaking.)
Doug Bad move chump, that space ship's permanently earthbound.
(The trio runs into the ride.)
Doug Gotcha! I mean freeze! Oh, man.
(Doug shines his flashlight around, finding no one inside the ride.)
Doug Are we dealing with some sort of escape artist?
Connie *walks up to the control panel in the center* Hey Steven, maybe we should get our weapons.
Doug That won't be necessary. We're not here to escalate the situation. Besides, a good security guard only needs their trusty flashlight.
(Suddenly, the door of the ride creaks and slams behind Doug.)
Doug Hey! *pulls on the door handle* Open up this instant!
Connie Yeah, let us out!
(Connie and Steven assist Doug in attempting to open the door, when the lights turn on, and the ride starts moving.)
Steven & Connie The ride's moving!
(The trio are forced against the walls of the ride, as it spins them around at a high speed.)
Connie We gotta shut it off!
Doug Don't worry! I'll just use my trusty flashlight!
(Doug throws the flashlight towards the "Off" button of the control panel, but the force of the spinning ride prevents it from reaching at all.)
Steven Oh no!
Connie The laws of physics!
(The flashlight flies back towards Doug, hitting him in the face.)
Doug Ouch!
Connie You okay, dad?
Doug Yeah, I've got a new idea, though. This time, I'll throw it at a angle!
Connie Dad, I don't think that'll work-
Doug Go!
(Doug throws the flashlight again, causing it to bounce all around the ride and hitting the three of them in the head multiple times. The trio screams in panic as the ride keeps on spinning.)
Steven We got to get out of this s.p.i.c.y meat-a-ball!
(Steven pushes himself off the wall and lands on the center of the ride.)
Steven Hey, this part isn't moving at all!
Connie Steven!
Doug *gets hit by the flashlight again* Augh!
Steven Sorry!
(Steven pushes the "Off" button on the control panel, and the ride stops. Steven kicks the door open and the trio crawl out of the ride groaning.)
Doug Listen, you... bodybuilding escape artist criminal. This isn't a game. You've endangered a officer of the law and two small children. Show yourself before you get into serious trouble!
Connie Steven, do you think it's some sort of... Gem Mutant or Monster?
Steven It could be, but, it trapped us. The monsters and mutants aren't that smart.
Connie Could, we be dealing with a Homeworld Gem?
Doug Homeworld? Gem? Mutant? I, uhh... Well, whatever it is, if someone's trespassing, they'll have to answer to me!
(Doug switches the batteries of his flashlight and shines it on his face, casting an intimidating shadow on his face. The trio then continues searching around Funland for the trespasser.)
Connie It's so.. quiet.
(The streetlights suddenly turn on and music starts playing, causing the trio to gasp in shock.)
Doug I can't believe this. They're mocking us! Show yourself! What is it that you want here?! Prizes? Fun? You think this is the place to get your kicks? *approaches the ring toss booth* You sick monster. Destroying the sanctity of this land of fun!
(A small shadow appears above the ring toss booth.)
Connie Behind you!
(The fence enclosing the ring toss booth falls onto Doug.)
Connie Dad!
Steven Mr. Maheswaren!
Doug Ughh... Don't worry, I'm fine. Just-
(The shadow runs past the trio.)
Doug *gasps* There they are!
Connie Come on Steven! *begins chasing the shadow*
Doug I'm right behind you!
Connie You're not getting away this time!
(The shadow knocks over a trash can, which Connie and Steven simply run past, and a gumball machine, causing gumballs to scatter across the ground.)
Connie That's a lot of gumballs!
Steven Jump!
(Connie jumps and Steven grabs her hands, floating the two of them over the gumballs. They eventually chase the shadow to a dead end.)
Connie It's time to give up!
Steven There's no way out!
Doug Gumballs? A-A-Aaah!
(Doug trips over the gumballs and falls behind of Connie and Steven. He then gets up and walks towards them.)
Doug Huh... Hey, kids.
Connie The culprits at the end of this corner, Dad.
Doug Good work you two. Now, let's shed some light on this subject *turns his flashlight on and shines it ahead*
Steven Wait... Onion!
(Onion turns and looks towards them squinting.)
Doug You? What are you doing here? We're in the middle of a very important investigation.
Connie Dad, I think this is who's been causing all this trouble.
Steven Onion, it's me, Steven. *takes his fake mustache and cap off* Steven Universe.
(Onion runs up to Steven and starts murmuring frantically, hiding behind Steven.)
Steven That's just Mr. Maheswaren. Oh my gosh, did you think a bunch of strangers were chasing you? No wonder you were trying to throw us off your trail. Onion, everything's okay.
(Onion smiles and steps back.)
Doug *walks up to Onion* It can't just be a kid! It doesn't make any sense! What about that huge shadow?
(Connie turns Doug's flashlight on and shines it on Onion, casting a big shadow behind him.)
Connie I think the flashlight just made him look big.
Doug But the fence was ripped apart!
Steven I have seen him use a blowtorch before.
Connie *reveals the fabric she found earlier* I also found this piece of fabric stuck in the fence.
(The trio look over at Onion, who notices a tear in the heel of his clothes.)
Doug *groans* Of course. It's never actually something.
Connie What's wrong?
Doug Nothing's wrong, it's just... My job isn't the exhilarating adventures you've been having with Steven. Or the life-threatening emergencies your mom deals with at the hospital. The most action I see is telling kids to quit loitering around. I was hoping maybe you'd get to see me take on a serious job. But, I guess all I'm good at is being your silly, old dad. *trips on a gumball and falls, grunting*
Connie You're right, you are silly. But that's why I like hanging out with you. I've got enough serious things going on in my life. Sometimes I just wanna spend time with my dad. *smiles*
Doug *smiles back* Thanks. You're a keeper, Veronica Cucamonga.
(Connie laughs at her dad's silliness.)
[Trans. Beach City Funland]
(The trio leads Onion out of the fun fair.)
Doug Well, kid. This may have been a big misunderstanding. But you're still in trouble for this fence.
(Onion looks at the fence and shakes his head.)
Doug Oh, yes you are.
Steven Just let him off the hook on this one. We already scared him straight.
Connie The law must be different for someone his age.
Doug *sighs* You learned your lesson?
(Onion does a single nod.)
Doug Then you're free to go.
(The trio then gets into Doug's car. Doug starts up the engine as Steven waves goodbye to Onion.)
Doug And rememember kid, no loitering. *backs the car up* I don't know how I'm gonna explain this back at the office.
(Onion watches the car leave, as a large shadow and a smaller shadow with wings appear behind Onion. Eerie music begins to play, as Onion turns around in shock.)

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus