This is a transcribed copy of Doug Out. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
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"I see so many possibilities for the future..." This article contains information about unreleased content. Do not add to this page, unless you have a valid source, and do not add hypotheses to this article.
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{{Spoiler|
Speaker | Dialogue | ||
---|---|---|---|
(Steven takes a bag of Fry Bits from Peedee Fryman.) | |||
Steven | Thanks for the bits, Peedee. *Him and Connie walk off* Oh, and tell Ronaldo I hope his weird rash clears up soon. *Steven and Connie sit on a bench and eat the Fry Bits* Life can get really intense, huh? | ||
Connie | Yeah, especially your life. Let's see, alien abduction. | ||
Steven | Going to a weird zoo for humans in space. | ||
Connie | And sneaking out past a pair of intergalactic tyrants! | ||
(Steven and Connie laugh.) | |||
Steven | *Takes a Fry Bit from the bag and lifts it up to the sky* Well, it's nice to know that we can still have peaceful days like this without any trouble. *He throws it in attempt to catch it in his mouth but fails and laughs* | ||
Connie | Almost. | ||
Doug Maheswaran | *Yells through microphone* Hey, kid! | ||
(Steven and Connie look over.) | |||
Doug | Drop those frybits! drop em'! | ||
Steven | Oh no, it's the cops! | ||
Connie | Huh? | ||
Steven | All the years of ordering off menu have finally come back to taunt me! | ||
Connie | You meant haunt you? Steven that's not even a police car, it's just- | ||
Steven | I surrender! *He gets off the bench and runs towards Doug* I knew I was breaking the rules but, I did it anyway! The bits had their hooks in meee. | ||
Connie | *Runs over to Steven and laughs* Dad, quit joking around! | ||
Doug | Come on, Connie I almost had him! *He takes the microphone away from his mouth* | ||
Steven | Mr. Maheswaran!? *Sighs and falls to the ground* | ||
Doug | *Puts microphone back into his car and walks over to Steven* Wow, I didn't think he would take it that seriously. *Squats down* You okay there Steven? | ||
Steven | Oh, yeah, I love it down here. | ||
Doug | And how's my swashbuckling swashbuckler doing? | ||
Connie | I'm good. | ||
Doug | You know, Steven, maybe you're dehydrated. Probably from eating all that garbage before dinner. | ||
Steven | Respectfully, Fry Bits are not garbage. | ||
Connie | Don't worry, Steven, he's just messing with you. | ||
Doug | *Chuckles* Sorry Steven, Let's get you up. | ||
(They all walk to the car) | |||
Connie | So what are you even doing in Beach City dad? | ||
Doug | *Takes a note from car* I'm out here on a job, actually. *Lifts paper up* The private security company I work for got a call from a Mr. Harold Smiley stating that someones been lurking around Funland after hours. So I'll be here all night. On, *Grabs side of glasses and the lenses shine* a stakeout. | ||
Steven | Woah, a stakeout! | ||
Connie | Dad, that's so cool! | ||
Doug | Yeah, it is pretty cool, huh? *blushes* Protecting the citizens of Beach City. Just like you guys! | ||
Connie | Wouldn't that be fun, Steven? | ||
Steven | Yeah! I'd love to go on a stakeout sometime. | ||
Doug | Maybe you guys, could help out tonight. | ||
Steven and Connie | What?! | ||
Connie | Even though we're not officially sanctioned security personnel? | ||
Doug | Hey, why not. It's probably just some kit loitering. Hey, kid! | ||
(Onion looks over and puts his arm up.) | |||
Doug | Yes, hello! The sign above you says no loitering! | ||
Onion | *Shrugs and walks off* | ||
Doug | They get younger every year. So, ya'll ready for this? Some of these teens can use some pretty strong language. | ||
Connie | Hey Steven, you wanna help ruin some teen's night? | ||
Steven | Always. | ||
(They drive up to Funland) | |||
Steven | *Whispering* Coast is all clear behind us. | ||
Connie | Things seem pretty quiet so far. | ||
Doug | Well yeah, nobody's gonna even try hopping the fence with us here. But you never know, sometimes, I actually leave the car. | ||
Steven and Connie | Wow. | ||
Doug | I'm sure you guys do lots of waiting when you're saving the world. It can't be all bam, pow action all the time. | ||
Steven | Aw, I wish. There's a lot of fighting, I mean, I kind of inherited a intergalactic war. | ||
Connie | *Reaches arm into box* Hey dad, what's this box? | ||
Doug | Oh, I just confiscated that from a kid who was shoplifting in a costume shop. | ||
Steven | Woah! *Takes a mustache out and holds to mouth* You could totally use these for disguises! Don't you ever need to go.. Undercover? | ||
Doug | How do you know I'm not undercover *Lifts glasses up* Right now? | ||
(Steven and Connie look surprised) | |||
Doug | Just kidding *Chuckles* I need these to see. But if you guys want to play with that stuff go ahead. | ||
Connie | Okay, well I want to be undercover. I'll be.. Veronica Cucamonga. | ||
Steven | *Puts green hat on* *Italian accent* It's a-me, Peter Pizzapoppolis, from Italia! | ||
Connie | Pizzapoppolis? That sounds Greek. You sure you don't want anything dad? There's a clown nose back here. *Squeaks the clown nose* | ||
Doug | No thanks, being a security guard is no joke. Which is why, they equip us with these. *Pulls flashlight out* | ||
Connie | Wow, a flashlight! | ||
Doug | Yeah. It gets pretty dark out there. | ||
(Loud crash) | |||
Doug | What was that? | ||
(The three of them walk up to the smashed-in part of the fence) | |||
Steven | Mama mia the fence-a! | ||
Doug | How on earth did this happen? *Him and the others walk closer* If this were some punk with a pair of bolt cutters this would have been a clean cut. *Leans down and grabs a piece from the fence* But this chain looks like it was torn apart. This was no kid. | ||
Connie | Well, if it wasn't a misguided teen, what could it be? | ||
Doug | It's up to us to find out! Sounds like we better investigate. Cucamonga, Pizzapoppolis. | ||
Connie | Right! | ||
Steven | Right-a! | ||
(They all start walking in before Connie leans down to pick up a ripped piece of leather from the fence) | |||
Connie | Huh? *She stands up and puts it in her pocket* | ||
Doug | Hello? This is security! You are trespassing on private property. Do not attempt to make yourself a corn dog. Funland incorporated is not liable for the harm you may incur on trying to operate a deep fryer without a license. | ||
Steven | You need a license to operate a deep fryer? | ||
(Loud crash) | |||
Connie | Woah. | ||
(A big shadow appears) | |||
Doug | Hey, stop right there! | ||
(They all run towards the shadow) | |||
Doug | Follow my lead. | (They summer-salt across the ground one by one) | |
Doug | *Shines flashlight* Don't move! | ||
Connie | Did we lose them? | ||
Steven | Which a-way did they go so fast-a? | ||
Doug | Mouths closed, eyes and ears open. | ||
(They all put their hands to their ears) | |||
(Hyper Space door creaks) | |||
Doug | Bad move chump, that space ship's permanently earthbound. *They run into the ride* Gotcha! I mean freeze! Oh, man. *Shines light at control panel* Are we dealing with some sort of escape artist? | ||
Connie | Hey Steven, maybe we should get our weapons. | ||
Doug | That won't be neccessary. We're not here to escalate the situation. Besides, a good security guard only needs their trusty flashlight. | ||
(Door creaks and slams) | |||
Doug | Hey! *pulls on handle* Open up this instant! | ||
Connie | Yeah let us out! *Her and Steven attempt to open the door* | ||
(The lights turn on and the ride starts moving) | |||
Steven and Connie | The rides moving! | ||
Connie | We gotta shut it off! | ||
Doug | Don't worry! I'll just use my trusty flashlight. *Throws it towards the Off button but it misses* | ||
Steven | Oh no! | ||
Connie | The laws of physics! | ||
Doug | *Flashlight hits face* Ouch! | ||
Connie | You okay, dad? | ||
Doug | Yeah, I've got a new idea, though. This time, I'll throw it at a angle! | ||
Connie | Dad, I don't think that'll work. | ||
Doug | Go! *Throws flashlight and it hits all three of their heads multiple times* | ||
(All of them scream) | |||
Steven | We got to get out of this spicy meat-a-ball! *Grunts while trying to push himself off the wall and lands on the middle of the ride* Hey, this part isn't moving at all! | ||
Connie | Steven! | ||
Doug | *Gets hit with flashlight* Augh! | ||
Steven | Sorry! *Pushes Off button* | ||
(The ride stops and they all climb out of the ride groaning) | |||
Doug | Listen, you bodybuilding escape artist criminal. This isn't a game. You've endangered a officer of the law and two small children. Show yourself before you get into serious trouble! | ||
Connie | Steven, do you think it's some sort of Gem Mutant or Monster? | ||
Steven | It could be, but, it trapped us. The monsters and mutants aren't that smart. | ||
Connie | Could, we be dealing with a Homeworld Gem? | ||
Doug | Homeworld? Gem? Mutant? I, uh - well, whatever it is *Takes batteries out of flashlight* if someone's trespassing *Takes new batteries out of pocket and puts them into the flashlight then turning it on* they'll have to answer to me. |