Speaker
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Dialogue
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[Open Int. Beach House]
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Steven
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*peering through a pile of laundry* Where are you? Tsk tsk tsk. You’re a mess, Steven.
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Pearl
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*runs towards the kitchen, holding a bubble full of shards* I know I had eight... *searching* Hey, Steven, have you seen a Gem shard anywhere? It’s very important.
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Steven
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No, have you seen my pants? *reveals that he is wearing just a shirt and underwear* They’re also very important.
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Pearl
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I’m serious, Steven. *starts explaining* These Shards have a powerful partial consciousness that has been harnessed by Gems throughout history in order to create-
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Steven
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*disengages from Pearl's explanation and thinks to himself* They weren’t in the kitchen either... Under the bed! No wait, I looked there too. And then Pearl walked in...
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Pearl
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*explaining in the background* -semi-sentient drone soldiers with the capacity to follow basic orders. Gems once created an army of these drones, but found their obedience waned as the shards overdeveloped inside their uniforms and turned on their commanders. You see, any shard imprinted by any sort of container-
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Steven
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*looks at Pearl and gasps to himself* Pearl! Oh jeez, she’s really explaining something... I can’t just start listening now, I’d be lost! ... Just like my pants...
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Pearl
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-could become a monster. That’s why it’s very, very important it’s kept away from any kind of garment...
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(A pair of pants is seen running past Steven and Pearl in the background.)
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Pearl
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If you see it, bring it to me, right away. I’m going to check in town. *leaves the house through the front door*
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Steven
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*shouts at Pearl* For my pants? ...I guess I’ll keep looking here. *notices the pants behind him* That’s unusual! *chases after it* Come on, we used to be friends! We used to go everywhere together! *pounces on them* Gotcha now, pants! *puts them on* I wear the pants in this relationship! *pants wriggling* What’s gotten into you? Hmm? *takes out a Gem shard from his pocket, pants cease* It’s a... thingie. Is this Pearl’s shard thingy? (The shard glows and tugs on Steven's shirt, which he quickly pulls away. He then grabs a sock nearby and puts the shard inside.) Ha! Now who’s smart? (The sock animates and repeatedly smacks him in the face.) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, stop! (The sock compels to his command.) Oh... Thanks! I gotta get you to Pearl. *places the sock in his backpack and zips it up*
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[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]
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Steven
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*walking along the boardwalk and yelling* Hey, Pearl! Pearl! She must still be looking for my pants...
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(A peculiar fries-looking character rushes in and bumps into Steven, knocking him to the ground. It reveals to be Peedee in a fries costume.)
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Peedee
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*panicking* Aah, please help me! Aah, No, get them away! Please! Aah!
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(Steven, frightened by the character, screams and cowers on the ground. A flock of seagulls flies in and assaults Peedee.)
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Peedee
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*takes off the head of the costume* I’m not fries! *swings it at the seagulls, chasing them away*
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(Steven lets out a deep sigh of relief, and Mr. Fryman comes out of the Beach Citywalk Fries to see the commotion.)
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Mr. Fryman
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Gah, where’s your face, Frybo? Being part of the Fryman family means you gotta sell fries... and be my son, which you are. (Peedee sighs.) So, you’re already halfway there. Keep at it, Frybo! *enters back into the building*
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Peedee
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*clenches fist* I’m Pee- (Fryman closes door.) -dee.....
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Steven
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*waves* Hi, Peedee!
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Peedee
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When I told my dad I wanted to be part of the Fryman family business, I didn’t think it meant being stuck in a sweaty old costume. Things used to be different, Steven, nothing to worry about back then except making myself dizzy on the old seahorse ride at Funland.*pulls Steven up from the ground*
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Steven
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*thinks Peedee is joking* Oh, Frybo, you’re hilarious.
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Peedee
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*sighs* I wish there was a way for this costume to do its job without me in it.
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Steven
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Maybe it can, Peedee... *starry-eyes* Maybe it can...!
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(Steven dons on the Frybo costume.)
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Steven
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*starts singing* Oooooh...! *suddenly attacked by seagulls* Aah! Waahhh! *runs around frantically, while Peedee shivers in place*
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(Steven takes off the Frybo costume, leaving it in a decrepit state on the boardwalk, while seagulls flock all over at it.)
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Steven
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*looking at the costume* Wait! I have another idea.
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(Steven takes out the shard in his backpack, shoos the seagulls away and drops the shard inside the costume. The costume begins to shake, repairs itself and rolls away.)
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Peedee
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Woah... (Frybo rolls around aimlessly.)
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Steven
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Stop! (Frybo compels.)
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Peedee
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Unbelievable! Get up! (Frybo positions itself upright.)
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Steven
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Do a little dance!
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(Frybo creates legs out of fries, while Steven and Peedee react in disgust, and starts dancing weirdly. Mr. Fryman comes out of the building again to observe. Peedee quickly hides behind Steven.)
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Mr. Fryman
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Woah-ho, all right! It’s about ti— I mean, good job, buddy! That’s what I’m talking about, Frybo, ha ha. Keep it up! *enters back inside and closes the door, Frybo stops dancing*
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Peedee
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Free, I’m free! *to Frybo* You’ve got the job, Frybo, let’s shake on it! *extends his hand, Frybo picks him up and literally shakes him*
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Steven
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*laughing* He’s got jokes!
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Peedee
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*nauseated* Ok, no more shaking. Put me down. (Frybo drops him on the ground.) Just, go make people eat fries. (Frybo runs off, and Peedee rejoices.) Let’s go be kids! *grabs Steven's hand and runs off*
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[Trans. Funland Arcade]
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(Peedee and Steven ride on the Seahorse and Jellyfish rides respectively. Peedee is full of joy, but quickly becomes disappointed as the ride comes to a stop.)
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Peedee
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This seahorse used to make me so happy. Now it’s just giving me whiplash. I feel like there’s just no point to it, you know what I mean?
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Steven
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*shaking from the Jellyfish ride* I just feel tingly!
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Peedee
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*sighs* You’ll understand when you have a job.
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Steven
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(His ride comes to a stop.) I do have a job, I protect humanity from magic and monsters and stuff!
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Peedee
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I mean a real job, that you get paid for.
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Steven
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I'm paid in the smiles across the town’s faces.
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Peedee
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I don’t see anyone smiling. You pick up a job to buy a house, or raise kids, or to... impress your dad. You work away your life, and what does it get you?
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Steven
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Smiles on faces?
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Peedee
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No! You get cash. Cash that can’t buy back what the job takes... not if you rode every seahorse in the world. *sighs*
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Steven
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Woah... wanna try the jellyfish?
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(A distant scream is heard.)
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Peedee
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That came from the fry shop! *gets off the rides with Steven and runs off*
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[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]
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(People are seen running in terror out of the door of the Beach Citywalk Fries building. Yellow tendrils then whip out from inside and starts dragging people back inside.)
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Peedee
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*panicking* We didn’t tell him to do that, did we tell him to do that?! (A table smashes through the counter windows, which both Peedee and Steven duck and dodge in time. They then look inside the building)
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[Ext. & Int. BC Fries]
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(Frybo is standing inside with several people captured with its fry hair tendrils.)
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Mr. Smiley
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Please, no more fries! (Frybo repeatedly shoves his mouth full of fries.)
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Steven
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Frybo, stop!
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(Frybo stops and slowly turns around, revealing veins protruding all over his face. Steven and Peedee flinch. Frybo then hurls Lars at them through the windows, whom they duck out of the way, and he hits the table.)
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Lars
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*spits out fries* I don’t even like fries! *runs away*
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Peedee
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*panicking* Why isn’t he listening?!
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Steven
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I don’t know!
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Mr. Fryman
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Peedee! *emerges from the back of the shop* Where’s all this coming from?! (Frybo ensnares him with a tendril, Peedee peeped over the counter.) Ah, I get it, I pushed you too hard! I thought you wanted to be as good a Fryman as you could be! you’re a tough kid for putting up with it as long as you did! The truth is, you’re a valued member of Fryman Brothers Incorporated and all its affiliates!
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(Peedee is touched by Mr. Fryman's statement. Frybo picks Mr. Fryman off the ground and shoves fries in his mouth.)
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Peedee
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Daaad! *breaks into tears and tries to lunge through the window*
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Steven
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No! *tackles Peedee down* He’ll mash your potatoes! *tries to climb over the counter
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Peedee
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What are you going to do!?
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Steven
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*stands proudly* My job!
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(Mr. Fryman is then promptly chunked towards Steven and Peedee and lands on top of them, immobilizing them, and is knocked unconscious. Frybo starts approaching them out the counter windows.)
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Pearl
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Steven! *reveals herself in front of Steven, still holding the bubble of shards* Did you put my missing shard in that fry costume?
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Steven
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Yes!
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Pearl
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Didn’t you hear what I said about the living armor and infantries and many, many deaths?!
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Steven
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No!
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Pearl
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*irritated* Oh Steven... *summons her spear*
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(Pearl jumps on top of the table and throws her spear at Frybo, hitting its eye. Ketchup then sprays from the eye at Pearl. Pearl is then knocked off the table, causing her to drop the bubble of shards and it pops. Peedee rolls Mr. Fryman off of him and Steven.)
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Steven
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Pearl! *rushes towards Pearl*
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Pearl
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Ugh, the ketchup! It’s everywhere, I can’t see!
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Steven
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*noticing dropped shards* Shards... Need! *runs off*
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Pearl
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Wah? *feels around blindly* Steven?
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Peedee
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*holds the unconscious Mr. Fryman and tears up* Daaad!
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(Frybo emerges from the building, Pearl's spear still in his eye, and approaches the Frymans. Mr. Fryman regains consciousness, while Peedee grabs a broken plank and confronts it.)
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Peedee
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*swinging at Frybo* Go away!
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Mr. Fryman
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*getting up* Peedee?
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Peedee
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You are awful! I hate you! I’ve always hated you!!
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Mr. Fryman
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Wait? You’ve always hated Frybo?
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(Frybo disarms Peedee, causing him to fall backwards, and Mr. Fryman catches him. As Frybo approaches the Frymans, a pair of pants suddenly flies in with a Gem shard in its pocket and kicks Frybo in its face.)
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The Frymans
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Steven!
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Pearl
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*still blinded* Where?!
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(Steven appears in just his underwear after placing a shard in each of his garments. His socks, shirt, pants, shoes, and jacket stand beside him.)
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Steven
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*fry in mouth* Your move, Frybo. *eats the fry, Frybo charges towards him* Attack!
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(Steven’s garments collectively attack Frybo. Cheese starts flowing out of Frybo's mouth, as it smacks Steven onto the ground.)
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Steven
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I didn’t want to do this, but you leave me no choice. *lies on the ground* Underwear, go!
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(Steven's underwear flies off of him and onto Frybo's other eye. Steven's pants kicks Frybo's leg, tripping it over. A naked Steven then runs up to Frybo and rips the Gem shard out of Frybo's cheese-filled mouth.)
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Pearl
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Steven, are you alright? *blindly touches Mr. Fryman’s face*
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Mr. Fryman
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Fine.
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Steven
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I’m okay. As soon as I bared my butt, I knew he’d crack.
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[Trans. Beach]
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(Steven’s garments carry the Frybo costume and prepare to send it out to sea on a makeshift raft while Steven, still naked, and others look on.)
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Mr. Fryman
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You were great, Frybo. The kids today just didn’t understand. Now, they never will.
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Pearl
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Weren’t people scared of it before he attacked them? (Steven shushes her.)
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Mr. Fryman
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It’s time... to send him off. (He takes out a lighter and sets Frybo on fire. Pearl, using the end of her spear, pushes it out to sea.) *sighs* As greasy in death... as he was in life.
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Peedee
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Dad? Uhm... I'll... Are you going to get another costume?
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Mr. Fryman
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I don’t need another Frybo, I got *puts his arm around Peedee* the fry man.
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Steven
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*posing heroically with a huge smile* Pearl, I think our work here is done.
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Pearl
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*unamused* Put your clothes on, Steven.
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(The star iris zooms in on the star of Steven's shirt, ending the episode.)
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[END]
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