| Speaker
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Dialogue
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| [Open Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]
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| (Steven is talking to Peedee at the fry shop counter.)
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| Steven
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And your dad won't even let you alphabetize the condiments? That's rough.
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| (Steven and Peedee look over to the arcade, where they see Mr. Smiley whistling while putting up a seemingly new machine outside the Funland Arcade.)
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| Steven
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*starry eyed* Whoa, I wanna see what that is. *walks over* Hi Mr. Smiley! Is that game new?
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| Mr. Smiley
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Ha ha! Not even close. I've had old Zoltron here in storage. You got a quarter? We can see if he still works. *plugs the machine in*
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| Zoltron Robot
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*activates and starts juddering* I am Zoltron: Robot fortune teller from the future. I know your future, because I am from there.
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| Steven
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*excitedly* Whoa! *reaches into his pocket*
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| Mr. Smiley
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*laughs* Go ahead! Ask him anything.
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| Steven
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I've just been dying to know! *holds up a quarter* Will I get that fancy Kazoo I've always wanted? *enters the quarter into the machine*
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| Zoltron Robot
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Your lucky numbers today are.. 16, 47, and W.
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| Steven
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*disappointed* ...Can I have my quarter back?
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| Mr. Smiley
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Ha, if I had a quarter every time somebody asked for their quarter back... Oh wait, I do! *makes drumming motions* "Ba dum bum ching!"
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| Steven
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*confused* ...What?
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| Mr. Smiley
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It was a joke. Man, I must be rusty. Been a while since my comedy days.
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| Steven
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You used to be a comedian?
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| Mr. Smiley
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Yeah! But that was a long time ago.
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| Steven
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What were some of your jokes?
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| Mr. Smiley
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*looks away* I'd rather not talk about it.
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| Steven
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Did you have any knock knock jokes?
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| Mr. Smiley
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You wanna ask questions, ask Zoltron.
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| Steven
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*inserts another quarter* Hey Zoltron. Why did Mr. Smiley quit comedy?
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| (The Zoltron machine whirs for a bit, but says nothing.)
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| Steven
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*pats the back of the robot* You can do it, buddy.
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| (The Zoltron robot suddenly explodes and falls to pieces, shocking both Steven and Mr. Smiley.)
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| Steven
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Ah! I just gave it a little tap!
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| Mr. Smiley
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A little tap!? Do you know how EXPENSIVE this machine was?!?!
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| Steven
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It was an accident! I'll make it up to you! Please, I-I just don't want to be banned from any more of your businesses!
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| (Mr. Smiley starts laughing to maintain a smile under his angry demeanor, when he suddenly has an idea.)
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| Mr. Smiley
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Hmm... Hey, you do a pretty good robot voice, don't you? *stares at Steven*
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| [Time-Skip]
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| (Steven giggles excitedly as he sits inside the machine, dressed up like Zoltron and taking its place. He then hears Sadie and Lars talking as they pass by.)
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| Lars
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*exasperatedly* Sadie, come on! It's like all you wanna do is work! Let's go watch a movie at your place or something! Nobody will even notice we're gone.
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| Sadie
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Heh, somebody will notice. You know, when they need a donut or something.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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*gets into character* Beep, Bop, Boop! I am Zoltron, robot fortune teller from the future! Fetch me a quarter and I'll find your fortune!
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| Sadie
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What is that? *walks towards the Zoltron machine curiously*
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| Lars
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Don't change the subject! *follows Sadie*
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| Sadie
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I'm not, this is just interesting. *inserts a quarter into the machine*
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Ask me anything!
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| Lars
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Ugh, look at its face!
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| Sadie
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Alright Zoltron. Since you know everything, should we skip work? *gives Lars a sly look*
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| Lars
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*sarcastically* Oh great. Sic the robot on me.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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You should go to work because... Because... even though Lars won't admit it, he really likes to do a good job. (Lars is shocked at Zoltron's mention of his name.) Letting people depend on him fills his heart with warm feelings. Like love, and trust.
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| Lars
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*blushes* No, it doesn't!
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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And even though Sadie loves to take charge-
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| Sadie
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*blushes in shock and embarrassment* No I don't...
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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She'll still be impressed with all your effort!
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| (Steven smiles and freezes, leaving Lars and Sadie dumbstruck.)
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| Sadie
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...Is it weird that it knows our names?
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| Lars
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Uhh I don't wanna talk about it. *turns to Sadie* You.. wanna go to work?
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| Sadie
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Yeah, let's.
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| (Lars and Sadie hurry off, still creeped out. Onion then arrives, about to walk into the arcade with a crowbar in his hands, when Steven stops him.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Halt! If you're not careful.. Zoltron sees prison bars in your future.
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| (Onion thinks about it for a moment and leave. Steven sighs in contentment, when Onion returns, wearing a ski mask, and enters the arcade out from Steven's sight. Time passes by as more people come to check out the curious Zoltron machine. Kiki and Jenny, who are arguing with each other, uses the machine first.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Zoltron sees that both of you are right. You do deserve your own rooms.
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| (Kiki and Jenny stop arguing and nod at each other, while Kofi shakes his head in disapproval. Buck uses the machine next.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Zoltron predicts you won't need to worry about that stain. You can make anything look cool.
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| (Buck tightens his stained jacket in satisfaction. Ronaldo, accompanied by his family, uses the machine next.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Zoltron knows that even if he seems stuck in his ways, deep down, your father really loves you.
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| (Ronaldo gives Mr. Fryman a big hug. Time passes by as the crowd of people slowly disperse, each leaving in happiness through Steven's positivity. Mr. Smiley then comes in to collect the quarters from the machine.)
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| Mr. Smiley
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How's it going out here?
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Great! I really feel like I'm making a positive change in people's lives.
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| Mr. Smiley
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Are they paying you for it?
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Yes, sir!
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| Mr. Smiley
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Then keep it up, Zoltron!
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Sure!
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| (Mr. Smiley leaves, and a man, wearing a trench-coat and frowning heavily, can be seen in the distance on the boardwalk. He then walks up to the Zoltron Machine and begins speaking in a British accent.)
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| Mr. Frowney
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Hm, a fortune-telling machine. This should be good for a laugh.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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That's right. I am Zoltron! Beep, boop! Give me your questions and your money.
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| Mr. Frowney
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*inserts a quarter* Was it a mistake to come here?
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Zoltron says, uh... Of course not? Um... Funland is fun... for all ages.
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| Mr. Frowney
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*inserts another quarter* Will talking to him make any difference? Any difference at all?
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Zoltron isn't sure. Human emotions are really complicated for Zoltron.
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| Mr. Frowney
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*inserts another quarter* Tell me the truth. Do I really just drive everyone around me away?
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Z-Zoltron says your lucky numbers for today are 16, 47, and "W". Come back later?
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| (Steven curls down inside the machine in awkwardness from the man's complicated questions. The frowning man is about to insert another quarter but he misses the coin slot of the machine, dropping the coin. He gasps as the quarter rolls away and falls between a gap in the boardwalk.)
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| Mr. Frowney
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My final quarter! *sighs and crouches down on the boardwalk* Even coins don't want to be around me.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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*sighs* Poor guy. I wish I knew what to tell him. If only I could see into the future like Garnet can.
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| Garnet
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I knew you'd say that. *walks in*
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Garnet! I-I need your help with-
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| Garnet
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The future.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Oh, yeah! I need some of that. Can I borrow your future vision? I want to help some random stranger I just met.
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| Garnet
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That seems like an appropriate use of my powers.
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| (Garnet smooches Steven on his forehead, transferring her future vision ability onto him.)
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| Garnet
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There you go. That should last a little while. Try to be home in time for dinner.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Thanks, Garnet!
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| Garnet
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*walks towards the frowning man* He's ready to answer your question. Use this. *gives the man a quarter and walks off*
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| (Steven quickly freezes in place as the frowning man returns and inserts the quarter into the machine.)
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| Mr. Frowney
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What would he say if he saw me now?
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| (Steven's future vision activates, and the first option appears before him in a slot machine style.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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He'll say, "I'm happy to see you."
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| Mr. Frowney
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You're lying. Nobody's happy to see me.
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| (Option 2 appears.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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He'll say, "It's been too long."
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| Mr. Frowney
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I'm too late? I should've come sooner!
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| (Option 3 appears.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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I don't know, I'm just a boy in a costume!
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| Mr. Frowney
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*sighs* Of course. Everything in my life's a disappointment.
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| (A big red cross strikes across all three options as a buzzer is heard, to Steven's dismay.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Zoltron sees... sadness in your future no matter what you do.
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| Mr. Frowney
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That sounds about right. I guess the curtain really did close on Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowney.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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You're here to see Mr. Smiley?! *gasps as he realizes he accidentally broke character*
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| Mr. Frowney
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Nobody misses our act, not even him. *sighs* I don't know why I'm talking to a machine. I'll just get on the bus and leave.
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| (Steven watches in sorrow as Mr. Frowney walks off. Time passes by, Steven is seen talking to Suitcase Sam.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Zoltron says that's a question for your doctor.
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| (Suitcase Sam leaves, and Mr. Smiley returns.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Uh, Mr. Smiley! Mr. Smiley!
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| Mr. Smiley
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Hey, don't break character. You broke enough things today.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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I met Mr. Frowney.
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| Mr. Smiley
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What?!
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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He's in town. Uh, how did you know him?
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| Mr. Smiley
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We used to have a... routine.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Oh! Comedy. But he didn't seem very funny. Actually, he was really depressing.
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| Mr. Smiley
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Yeah, that was the bit. At least, I thought it was, but even offstage, he was always sad. Nothing would cheer him up, not even a packed house, not a standing ovation, not even me. And, boy, did I try.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Well, he's about to leave town on a bus. You should go talk to him before it's too late.
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| Mr. Smiley
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I don't know what'd happen if I did.
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| (Steven's future vision activates again, with three options appearing in a slot machine style. Option 1 appears.)
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| Mr. Smiley
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Wow! Funny running into you.
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| Mr. Frowney
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Of course. I'm still a punchline, aren't I?
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| (Option 2 appears)
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| Mr. Smiley
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Hey! Wow! You look great!
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| Mr. Frowney
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That's your best joke yet.
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| (Option 3 appears)
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| Mr. Smiley
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Hi, buddy!
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| Mr. Frowney
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Is that all you have to say?
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| (A big red cross strikes across all three options as a buzzer is heard, again, to Steven's dismay.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Zoltron sees sadness in your future, no matter what you do.
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| Mr. Smiley
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Ughh... Come on, Steven. Drop the act. *walks off*
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Wait a second. *climbs out of the machine* You said you were always trying to make him happy. Did he even know that he was making you sad?
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| Mr. Smiley
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*pauses* You said he was getting on a bus?
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Yeah.
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| (Mr. Smiley starts running towards the bus stop and Steven chases after. They find Mr. Frowney waiting at the bus stop, who is surprised to see Mr. Smiley.)
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| Mr. Frowney
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Harold?
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| Mr. Smiley
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Quentin.
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| Mr. Frowney
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How'd you know I was here?
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| Mr. Smiley
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Little robot boy from the future told me.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Uh, hi, again.
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| Mr. Frowney
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*shocked* He came to life!
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| Mr. Smiley
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*chuckles* No, fool.
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| Mr. Frowney
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Did you just come here to laugh at me?
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| Mr. Smiley
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...No. I'm here to tell you that.. I wanted it to work- our act. But it wasn't making you happy.
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| Mr. Frowney
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I just wanted you to take it seriously.
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| Mr. Smiley
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And I just wanted you to have fun.
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| Mr. Frowney
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Oh... *starts weeping* I guess it was never going to work... But I really thought we had something.
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| (Mr. Smiley looks down in remorse, as Mr. Frowney wipes away his tears and turns away.)
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| Mr. Smiley
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You... having a bad day, Frowney?
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| Mr. Frowney
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*turns back in surprise* Horrible.
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| Mr. Smiley
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Well, why don't you go outside?! The sun always cheers me up!
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| Mr. Frowney
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I did, but it rained.
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| Mr. Smiley
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Why don't you use an umbrella?
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| Mr. Frowney
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I did, but it blew away.
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| Mr. Smiley
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Ooh! You must have been shocked!
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| Mr. Frowney
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Yeah, that's when the lightning hit me.
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| (Steven watches in confusion, until he realizes Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowney are reenacting one of their routines.)
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| Steven
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...Ooohh!
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| Mr. Frowney
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Smiley, what do you do when you're feeling down?
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| Mr. Smiley
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I just take my frown and turn it around!
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| (Mr. Smiley picks Mr. Frowney up and holds him upside down. Mr. Frowney then starts chuckling.)
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| Mr. Smiley
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Hey, you're ruining the bit! I thought you were a professional.
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| (Steven chuckles as well as Mr. Smiley turns Mr. Frowney upright, who is now smiling.)
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| Mr. Frowney
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*sighs* I think I finally got the joke.
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| (Mr. Frowney gives Mr. Smiley a hug, and they embrace each other for a while. A bus eventually arrives, Mr. Frowney gets on it, and Mr. Smiley and Steven wave him goodbye.)
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Well, I guess my debt is repaid.
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| Mr. Smiley
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*laughs, and then stops* Steven, that machine costs thousands of dollars.
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| Zoltron (Steven)
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Zoltron sees cramped legs in his future.
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| (The star iris closes onto Steven's foot, ending the episode.)
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| [END]
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