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This is a transcribed copy of "Gem Heist". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Adventures in Light Distortion" Next: "The Zoo"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. Pink Diamond's Zoo]
(The Crystal Gems arrive in the Roaming Eye at Pink Diamond's Zoo, which is being watched by a Red Eye.)
Pearl The human zoo. I can't believe it still exists.
Steven Dad's gotta be in there. We just have to find him and bust him out.
(The Roaming Eye enters the ship hangar of the zoo via its ring. The Crystal Gems gasp as they notice the two Amethyst guards standing at the entrance door.)
Amethyst Those Gems.
Pearl Amethyst guards. Right, like we could just waltz up as an ownerless Pearl, a fusion and- and you.
Steven We just need disguises. I'll be Esteban Universidad.
Pearl Steven, it doesn't matter what your name is. We're all going to stand out!
(At that moment, Garnet unfuses into Ruby and Sapphire.)
Sapphire We won't stand out if we play the roles we were made for.
Steven Ruby! Sapphire!
Ruby Okay, everybody. Hear her out.
Sapphire Today, I'm a Sapphire traveling with my Ruby guard, and my personal Pearl. Esteban, I've brought you as an offering for the zoo.
Steven Pobrecito Esteban!
Amethyst Uhh... What about me?
Sapphire You're accompanying me as extra muscle.
Amethyst Muscle like them? *points at the Amethyst guards*
Sapphire Exactly.
Amethyst But I've never even seen another Amethyst before. What do I do? What if I say something wrong?
Sapphire Just look the part. You're new and we're rusty, but we just have to sell this long enough to find Greg.
Pearl Is this really going to work?
Sapphire ...No.
(Everyone gasps in shock.)
Sapphire Just, stick together! Play it straight! Let's... change the future! *forces a smile*
(Sapphire, Ruby, holding Steven, Pearl and Amethyst, shapeshifted to look like a regular Amethyst guard, begin walking out of the Roaming Eye towards the guarded door.)
Steven You'll never cage me, you rockheads!
(The Crystal Gems encounter the Amethyst guards, who look at them suspiciously.)
Guard 1 State your purpose.
Sapphire I'm here to make a delivery to the human zoo.
Guard 1 Bad news: The human zoo shut down. *inches towards Steven* Which means, we'll just have to throw you in space.
(Steven whimpers in fear.)
Guard 1 Heh, look. He believed me.
(The Amethyst guards start chuckling, when an elite Gem enters and glares at them.)
Elite Gem What are you doing?
Guards Nothing, Holly Blue Agate. *stays in attention*
(Holly Blue then notices Sapphire, gasps in shock and kicks one of the Amethyst guards in her legs.)
Holly Blue Why didn't you tell me there was a Sapphire here?! What have you miscreants been saying to them!?
Guard 2 Nothing, Holly.
Holly Blue *turns to Sapphire* You'll have to forgive them. *chuckles* They're from Earth. *glances at the Amethyst guards* Ahem! Apologize.
Guards Forgive us!
(Holly Blue punches the guards to correct them.)
Guards ... Forgive us, your Clarity!
Sapphire No use dwelling on the past. I've brought a new human for the collection.
Holly Blue How unprecedented! Nothing for millennia, and then two humans back-to-back! Well, it's probably for the best, that first one wasn't in... the best condition.
Steven *gasps* Dad! That's him!
(Ruby quickly shushes Steven.)
Holly Blue Ohh, their incessant barking, what is it saying?! *laughs* The other one was loud too, and all that thrashing about. I'm sure Blue Diamond would want to thank you personally, but you just missed her.
(The Crystal Gems sigh in relief.)
Holly Blue Amethyst, take this human to the-
Sapphire Wait! The thing is... we've traveled so far, and it would be a shame to leave so quickly. Perhaps you'd grant us a tour of the facility?
Holly Blue I would be honored! Right this way, your Grand Clarity. *halts Amethyst* Amethysts are to stay and guard the door.
Amethyst Uhh, but-
Holly Blue The door.
(Holly Blue begins leading the group into the facility, leaving Amethyst, groaning nervously, behind with the other two Amethysts.)
Holly Blue Does your Pearl always walk next to you?
Pearl *chuckles nervously* I'll just be right here. *backs off*
Holly Blue Hmm. Chatty. (Pearl blushes.) This facility originally belonged to Pink Diamond and houses and staffs the, otherwise useless, Quartz that she produced and what was her colony. But Blue Diamond and her trusted Agate; that's me, have been maintaining this place since the dawn of Era 2.
(Holly Blue leads the group towards a door and waits on the spot, expecting Pearl to open it without a prompt.)
Holly Blue Is she going to do it or, should I say something?
Sapphire Oh! Pearl, the door.
Pearl Hmm? Oh, right, right! I got it! *walks up to the door panel*
Holly Blue You are so patient with her. How do you do it?
Sapphire As a Sapphire, I know it will happen eventually.
(After a bit of difficulty, Pearl opens the door and the group enters it one by one.)
Holly Blue That will be all.
Sapphire Sorry.
Steven Hang in there.
(Pearl enters on the other side and begins closing the door.)
Holly Blue Do keep up, Pearl.
Pearl Ughh.
(Holly Blue activates a panel on the wall, and the floor beneath the group turns transparent, revealing the lower exterior of the zoo.)
Holly Blue The bottom half of this structure is devoted entirely to specimen containment. Apparently, humans don't take well to captivity, but once you understand their needs, they're easy to control.
(Holly Blue reverts the floor back to its original state, and the group continues touring.)
Holly Blue It's tragic that Pink Diamond's existence in this universe ended up being so finite. But what a selfless act for Blue Diamond to step forward and spend her own time and energy preserving this place in Pink Diamond's memory. It's a real testament to Blue Diamond's merciful and giving nature. Don't you think?
Sapphire Uhh, of course.
(Ruby growls in anger at Holly Blue's glorification of Blue Diamond.)
Holly Blue And past this way is the health reservation sector...
Steven Keep it together, Ruby. Our roles, remember? Gotta Esteban it.
Holly Blue And here, of course, is the human disposal chute.
Steven W-Whaa! Ho-o-ow do you get in the zoo!?
Holly Blue Oh, there it goes again with its hilarious noises.
Sapphire So, how do you get in the zoo?
Holly Blue Excellent question, your Grand Clarity! On the rare occasion that we would need to enter the containment area, we would do so via this service door.
Steven Dad. That door's how we get to Dad. We just need to come up with a distraction.
Ruby Got it.
Holly Blue As a one-way access point, there are no risks of an escape. In fact, it's only been used once for a human-
Ruby Explosion!
Holly Blue Pardon me!?
Ruby Uhh... I just remembered I left the gravity engine... idling! Sorry, my Sapphire. I'm so forgetful and disposable.
Sapphire What?
(Steven, Pearl, and Ruby glance at the door, signalling to Sapphire it is part of a plan.)
Sapphire A-A-A foreseen turn of events. Yes. It is going to overheat and explode. The damage will be massive.
Holly Blue My word! I don't know why anyone trusts Rubies with those ships! This is what happens.
Sapphire If we hurry, we can disable the engine before any damage is done. It should only take five minutes, so everyone, be on your best behavior.
(Sapphire winks at Ruby, Steven and Pearl, and they all wink back.)
Holly Blue This way, your Clarity, although I'm sure you don't need my guidance.
(Sapphire and Holly Blue walk off.)
Ruby *growls* I can't believe all that stuff about Blue Diamond being merciful! She's a shatterer! She yelled at Sapphire! She hates fusion a-and love!?
Steven I know, Ruby, but we don't have much time! We have to open this door!
Ruby Right. Right. Pearl, open it!
Pearl Of course. What else am I good for? *activates the door panel* It's different from the others.
(Pearl tries to operate the door panel, resulting in an error message twice.)
Pearl A-ha!
(Pearl taps on the door panel in confidence, and again resulting in an error message.)
Pearl I actually can't figure this out at all.
Ruby What!?
Steven But Pearl, you're our hacker.
Ruby We don't have time for this! Steven, help me open the door.
Steven Okay.
Ruby And Pearl, hack faster.
(Pearl continues to hack the door panel while Steven and Ruby tries to bash down the door. Sapphire's voice can then heard, as she and Holly Blue begin to return.)
Sapphire *speaking loudly* I am so glad we are almost back! I was really enjoying the tour!
Holly Blue Yes, I can tell by the tone of your voice. Thank you so much again for averting that crisis.
(Holly Blue and Sapphire gasp in shock, as they notice damages on the service door, and Steven, Ruby and Pearl trying to act ignorant.)
Holly Blue What is going on!?
Sapphire Oh, well, I'm sure there's a reasonable-
Holly Blue Did you see the Amethyst that did this!?
(Everyone sigh in relief.)
Holly Blue Really? We have guests.
(Just then, two more Amethyst guards run towards the group.)
Guard 3 Holly Blue Agate! We have important news for you!
Holly Blue We do not run or shout in these hallways!
Guard 3 I'm sorry. I-I-It's just that-
Holly Blue How am I supposed to know what you're saying when you're mumbling?
Guard 4 Uhh, I'm sorry, Holly Blue Agate. It's just-
Guard 3 Blue Diamond is on her way!
Holly Blue Oh my stars! She's back already?! *approaches the two Amethysts* You two, best behavior. Shoulders squared! Minds cleared! Backs straight! And surely, Blue Diamond would want to thank you personally for this special delivery, your grand Clarity.
Sapphire Yes. I suppose... she will.
(Sapphire and Ruby start sweating in anxiety.)
Holly Blue Well, don't just stand there, you useless chunks of earth! Make yourself useful and escort that human to the assimilation bay!
(The Amethyst guards approach Steven and pick him up.)
Sapphire But the tour...
Holly Blue Oh, your Clarity. You flatter me, but we really must get ready. Our Diamond will be here at any moment.
Steven Let me go, you bigger Amethyst!
Guard 3 Heh, these newer humans are so spunky. In you go.
(The Amethyst guard throws Steven into a dark tunnel and closes the door. The lights turn on inside and Steven begins to be transported into the zoo on a conveyor belt. Four Gem fingers then pop in in front of Steven and take a picture of him.)
Steven What the... Uhh...
(More Gem fingers appear and begin performing health checks on Steven, such as dental hygiene, photon sensitivity in the pupils, temperature, and nasal congestion. They then begin stripping Steven off of his clothes down to his pants, and which Steven smacks the fingers away.)
Steven Nope! I will do that myself.
(Steven takes off his pants and hands it to the Gem fingers.)
Steven I'll just find my dad without pants.
(The Gem fingers spray sanitizing mist at Steven, causing him to cough. Steven then notice a crusher-like contraption in front of him and he tries to run away in panic. He fails to outrun it on the conveyor belt, and it "crushes" onto him, dressing him in a new attire.)
Steven Ugh, loincloths.
(The Gem finger then attach earrings onto Steven's ears, and two glass barriers encloses him in the tunnel.)
Steven *groans in irritation* Okay! What else, huh!? What else you got for me!? I'm on that Dad mission adrenaline rush and ready for whatever space junk you have next! Futuristic cattle prods! Human horseshoes! Whatever you got, come and get me!
(Water suddenly floods the room and a hole opens up underneath, flushing Steven into it. Steven screams underwater as he is transported through a water tunnel.)
Trans. Int. Human Zoo
(Steven emerges from a shallow body of water and begins coughing and gasping for air.)
Steven Huh? What the...
(Steven looks around, spotting lush greenery and trees all around.)
Steven What is this place? And where's...
(Steven then spots Greg interacting with two other humans by the water body.)
Steven Dad!?

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus