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This is a transcribed copy of "Greg the Babysitter". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Alone at Sea" Next: "Gem Hunt"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. It's a Wash]
(A red car is seen leaving the car wash as Steven waves goodbye at it.)
Steven Bye! Thanks for coming!
Greg Wow, two customers! The car wash hasn't been that busy since that mud tornado fifteen years ago. They called it... "The mud-nado."
Steven Wow, you've worked here longer than I been alive! How'd you even get this job?
Greg Well, I was hanging out with your mom, and-
Steven Hold the phone!
(Steven dashes to Greg's Van and searches inside.)
Greg Oh, you're getting fast there.
(Steven runs back with Greg's Guitar and hands it to Greg.)
Steven Don't tell me, sing me!
Greg You rascal! Can I ever tell you a story without working in a song again?
Steven I'm playing it by ear.
(Greg begins to play and sing "I Think I Need a Little (Change)" about how he came to work at a car wash.)
[Flashback; Trans. Ext. Crystal Temple]
Greg ♫ You! / Look at everything you are! / Look at everything you do! / It's incredible, as incredible as you! ♫
(Rose was seen dancing on the beach, while a younger Greg played "Nietszche's Breakdown on a record player in his van nearby.")
Greg ♫ And me! / I guess I'm content to be, / On the arm of someone who, / Is as incredible as you! ♫
(Greg waited by the warp pad at the Crystal Temple when Rose and the Crystal Gems warped back. Everyone smiled at him except Pearl.)
Greg ♫ And it's a full-time job admiring, / All the ways that you're inspiring ♫
(Greg and Rose enjoyed each other's company reading books inside his van, while Rose giggles while reading "Passions of Xanxor")
Greg ♫ If I had my way, I'd do it all day! / That's why it's really really hard to say ♫
(Even in the cold winter time, Greg shivered and waited in the cold without fail at the temple for Rose's return.)
Greg ♫ I think I need a little cha-ha-hange. / I think I need a little cha-ha-hange. I think I need a little cha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hange! ♫
(Greg bathed in the ocean and accidentally ripped his jeans running past the sharp fence wire. He even left a pizza slice on his chest before falling asleep in the sun, accidentally leaving a tan mark of the pizza on his chest, much to Rose's amusement.)
Greg ♫ Oh! / I always did believe, / That love is all you need, / To be a happy man! ♫
(Rose had fun with Greg by hurling him the sky and catching him at the edge of a cliff.)
Greg ♫ Oh! / That may have been naive! / I guess I need to eat, / That wasn't in the plan! ♫
(Greg and Rose stopped in front of the Beach Citywalk Fries, only to realize they have no money. Hungry, Greg grabbed a tray of fry bits from the trash and ate it.)
Greg ♫ And it's a full-time job admiring, / All the ways that you're inspiring! / If I had my way, I'd do it all day! / The only problem is it doesn't pay! ♫
(Greeting the Crystal Gems, Amethyst elbowed friendly in Greg's stomach, Pearl coldly walked past him, Garnet high-fived him, and Rose kissed him in his lips. Greg waved goodbye as the Gems warped away for another mission.)
Greg ♫ I think I need a little cha-ha-hange. / I think I need a little cha-ha-hange. / I think I need a little cha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hange ♫
(As Greg concluded his song, he was seen basking on the boardwalk. A bystander walked by and drops a dollar bill into Greg's guitar case. Besides a dollar, two bottle caps and a button were also inside.)
Greg Oh, that's not even enough for a bad hot dog.
[Trans. Ext. Vidalia's House]
(Greg rang the doorbell and a younger Vidalia opened the door, blowing bubblegum.)
Greg S'up, Vidalia?
Vidalia *pops her bubblegum* Greg... What a surprise.
(Greg entered Vidalia's house and Vidalia began feeding Baby Sour Cream)
Vidalia Ready to eat? You're gonna love these mushed-up carrots!
(Sour Cream patted the table of his booster seat and Vidalia brought in a spoonful of mashed carrots.)
Vidalia Ooh! Someone's excited! Get ready.
(Sour Cream opened his mouth, and then turned away from the spoon.)
Vidalia Oh, you're too cool for mushed-up carrots?
Sour Cream Meh.
Greg *walks in* I'm hungry for babies! *ruffles Sour Cream's hair and chuckles*
Vidalia Hey, I'm trying to negotiate here.
Greg Ooh! You got the good stuff. *prepares to make a bowl of cereal for himself*
Vidalia Doesn't your magical girlfriend know how to cook?
Greg Nah, Rose doesn't really need to eat, but I do.
Vidalia Hmm. So have you done anything lately, besides worship everything she does?
Greg I've been working on some songs for my new album. *begins eating the cereal*
Vidalia Oh, the same new album you've been working on for six months?
Greg Yep!
Vidalia Oh, That's good.
Greg How's baby life?
(Sour Cream threw the carrot mush on Vidalia's face, and she expressionlessly wiped it away.)
Vidalia How does it look?
Greg Hard. Mind if I bum around here for the day?
Vidalia No more than usual. Man, you're really selling me on that cereal, Universe.
Greg It's so good! *leaves the kitchen*
Vidalia *gets up and prepares a bowl of cereal for herself too* Come to mama.
(Vidalia turned the cereal box, but only cereal bits and dust flowed out, causing Vidalia to cough.)
Vidalia *annoyed* Thanks for leaving me all the cereal dust, Greg!
Greg No problem!
Vidalia Ugh! What am I supposed to eat now?
(Sour Cream picked up the spoon and pretended to eat the carrot mush.)
Vidalia Oh, good idea, Sour Cream!
(Vidalia took the carrot mush and spoon from Sour Cream and prepared to eat it, much to Sour Cream's displeasure. Meanwhile, Greg was in the living room, eating his cereal and watching TV.)
TV Announcer "Coming this fall-" (A doorbell rings in the TV.) "He's a little butler with a big attitude."
(Greg sipped on the milk from his cereal bowl, when he burst out laughing at the announcement of the sitcom, accidentally spilling the milk all over himself.)
Greg Vidalia, have you seen this com-
Vidalia Whoa, my couch!
Greg *chuckles* Whoops! I guess I made a mess, huh?
(Greg proceeded to bring himself into the laundry room, when Vidalia halted him from entering.)
Vidalia Nah-ah! Take it off.
Greg Oh, yeah, sorry. *takes off his shirt, throws it to Vidalia, and notices the funny shirt she is wearing* Whoa, that's a look. Where'd you get that shirt?
Vidalia T-Shirt Shop.
Greg You bought that?
Vidalia No, it's my uniform. I work there starting today.
Greg You sold out, V.
Vidalia Got to grow up sometime.
(Vidalia prepared to wash Greg's shirt when her wall telephone rang, and she picked it up.)
Vidalia Hello? Uh-huh. Wait, what do you mean you can't come!? Death in the family? Wait, a hamster doesn't count! You can't do this to me! Look, I- I really need- (The caller hung up on Vidalia.) Hey! Hello? Aaaah! Lousy 12-year-old!
Greg What happened?
Vidalia Listen, Greg, my babysitter canceled. I need you to watch Sour Cream for me while I'm at work. Can you do it?
Greg Oh, yeah. Why not? I'm not doing anything, I think.
Vidalia Trust me, you're not.
[Trans. Ext. Vidalia's House]
(Vidalia briefed Greg, carrying Sour Cream, on the babysitting task as she got ready to leave for work.)
Vidalia Okay, don't forget, diaper bag's over there, snacks are over there. Emergency number's on the fridge. *inches close towards Greg* And if anything bad happens to my kid, you better pray your space goddess' magic can bring people back from the dead, because I will destroy you. *turns around and leaves*
Greg Have fun at work. So, how about it, Sour Cream, you ready to spend the day with your rad Unkie Greg?
Sour Cream Meh.
Greg You really are Vidalia's son, aren't you?
[Trans. Beach]
(Greg brought Sour Cream out onto the beach and sat him under an umbrella.)
Greg There you go. Okay. Baby Sour Cream, meet sun screen. *applies sunscreen on Sour Cream* Oh, can't forget these!
(Greg put sunglasses on Sour Creams's face, and Sour Cream giggles.)
Greg *snaps his fingers* You're one cool baby!
Rose Hi, Greg!
Greg Hi, Rose.
(Rose descended from the sky and stood in front of Greg and Sour Cream.)
Rose Greg! *walks up to Greg in wonder* Where did you get this mini human from?
Greg Oh, this is Sour Cream.
Rose Did you make him?
Greg W-Whoa what!? *chuckles* No. I'm just babysitting for Vidalia.
Rose *kneels down* Hi, Sour Cream. I'm Rose.
(Sour Cream just smiled and stared at Rose.)
Greg Hey, let's show this baby how to beach it.
Rose Yeah!
Greg Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Rose Yee-haw!
(Greg and Rose ran towards the sea and splashed against the waves, laughing.)
Greg That feels great!
(Greg and Rose then ran back to Sour Cream.)
Greg Hey, Sour Cream, look at me. *laughs and throws sand in the air* I'm a sand man! *laughs again and spits out some sand his mouth* I guess he just likes sitting on this blanket.
(Sour Cream nodded.)
(Greg and Rose lay down underneath the umbrella next to Sour Cream.)
Rose You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
Greg What do you mean?
Rose You're both human. You have to admit, it's a little confusing. You're big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises. How was I supposed to know you were the same species?
Greg *chuckles* What?
Rose I know, it's silly. But then I started to notice that you grow.
Greg Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands. (Sour Cream held onto Greg's finger.)
Rose *chuckles* When a Gem is made, it's for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then... that's what they are. Forever. But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same even moment to moment; you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power, the ability to "grow up."
Greg *stares at Rose in awe* Wow. Those would make some pretty good lyrics. Hold on. Watch Sour Cream a second. I got to write this down!
(Greg ran off while Rose continued to watch over Sour Cream. He then returned with his guitar.)
Greg All right, what were you saying? Something really profound, yet relatable?
(Greg dropped his guitar in shock when he found that Rose and Sour Cream were gone.)
Greg Oh, my gosh! Vidalia is gonna destroy me!
(Greg began running around the boardwalk in search for Rose and Sour Cream.)
Greg Sour Cream! Rose! Where are you guys?! Rose! Hyah! *shoos away a seagull and looks inside a trash can* Sour Cream?! *looks up to the sky hopefully* Are y'all up there?!
[Trans. Int. Funland Arcade]
(Greg suddenly began playing a game machine called "Potato Bros".)
Greg Sour Cream!
[Trans. Int. Beach City Funland]
(Greg then ran into the pier fun fair to search for the two.)
Greg Rose! Cream! Rose?!
Rose Greg!
Greg Rose! *runs up to her in relief*
Rose Wow, you look tired.
Greg Thank goodness I found the both o- *notices only Rose is present* Where's Sour Cream?! I thought you were gonna watch him for me!
Rose Oh, I watched him. I watched him climb all the way... up there.
(Rose pointed to the Ferris wheel, where Sour Cream was seen sitting on the wheel frame, and Greg screamed in total shock and horror.)
Rose Isn't this exciting? This'll be a formative experience for him.
Greg Well, not if he falls! Come on! *pulls Rose along and runs towards the Ferris wheel*
Rose Okay.
Greg I'll try and get him down.
(Greg started climbing up the Ferris wheel and eventually reached Sour Cream.)
Greg Phew. Hey, Baby Cream, stay right there. *grabs Sour Cream* Whew. How can you be so calm right now? Uh... How do I get... Mmmmmmmmm!
(Greg looked down from the Ferris wheel, but the sheer height freaked him out, and he clung onto the wheel frame in fear.)
Greg Rose! Help me out! Are those the controls over there?
Rose Right, yes. Hold on.
Greg I think you got to pull one of those levers!
Rose This one? *pulls the only lever there*
(Rose pulled the only lever at the control panel and the Ferris wheels started spinning.)
Greg Whoa! It's, uh, going a little too fast. Hold on, Sour Cream.
(Rose fumbled with the lever and accidentally broke it. The Ferris wheel spun even faster.)
Greg Whoa! Rose, get me off this crazy thing!
Rose Ugh! Leave Greg alone!
(Rose, out of anger, smashed the control panel and the Ferris wheel began spinning out of control, causing Greg to scream. Rose then rushed over and used her strength to halt the Ferris wheel from spinning. Greg and Sour Cream were then propelled into the sky from the force of the Ferris wheel.)
Greg Noooooo!
Rose Greg! Hup!
(Rose ripped out a Ferris wheel cart and jumped after Greg and Sour Cream.)
Greg Aaaah! Oof!
(Rose leapt into the air and caught Greg and Sour Cream using the cart. She then began descending them from the sky.)
Rose Greg.
Greg Sour Cream! Whew! He's safe.
(Sour Cream grunted and nodded.)
Greg Why did you let him climb that thing?
Rose He wanted to.
Greg Well, Rose, you can't just let him do whatever he wants.
Rose But you do whatever you want, and you're fine.
Greg Yeah, but I'm not a baby. I don't need someone to feed me or change my clothes. I don't need someone to save me when I climb on to a Ferris wheel and...
(Greg glanced at Rose in self-realization as they landed on the ground.)
Greg Oh, man. I am a baby.
Rose Do you want to get down?
Greg Yeah.
[Trans. Ext. Vidalia's House, Late Evening]
(Greg brought Sour Cream safely back home, when Vidalia was waiting for them.)
Vidalia Aw, look at you. Did you have fun with Greg, Sour Cream?
Greg Oh, yeah. Nothing but safe wholesome fun with Unkie Greg. *chuckles nervously* Listen, Vidalia, um, thanks for the food and everything else. Today has been quite a journey. *returns Sour Cream back to Vidalia*
Vidalia Oookay? Your shirt's clean. You want it back, or are you just gonna go for a topless stroll?
Greg Hey, we all got to grow up sometime, right? *walks off*
Vidalia That's not really relevant to my question.
(Greg strolled down the streets of Beach City humming to himself, when he came across It's A Wash with a sign saying "Help Needed". Greg walked into the shop and took up the job. The next day, Greg began his job, wearing the car wash uniform, while singing a car wash version of "Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart)".)
Greg ♫ I know I'm not that tall. / I know I'm not that smart. / Let me drive my van into your wash. / Let me drive my van into your wash. ♫
[Back to the Present]
Steven Wow. And you've worked here ever since.
Greg That's right.
Greg You know, people grow, whether they want to or not. But growing up is something you got to decide to do.
Steven Hey, what ever happened to Baby Sour Cream?
Greg No one knows.
(Sour Cream then walks in from behind Greg, as the star iris closes on him.)
Sour Cream Meh.

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus