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<center>{{Quote|text = But you, you're ''supposed'' to change. You're never the same even moment to moment — you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power — the ability to "grow up."|saidby = [[Rose Quartz]]}}</center>
<center>
 
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{{Quote|text = But you, you're ''supposed'' to change. You're never the same even moment to moment — you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power — the ability to "grow up."|saidby = [[Rose Quartz]]}}
 
</center>
 
 
{{Episode
 
{{Episode
 
|season = 3
 
|season = 3
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|image = Greg the Babysitter 000.png
 
|image = Greg the Babysitter 000.png
 
|airdate = July 29, 2016<ref>http://www.toonzone.net/forums/threads/cartoon-network-july-2016-premiere-info.5550641/</ref>
 
|airdate = July 29, 2016<ref>http://www.toonzone.net/forums/threads/cartoon-network-july-2016-premiere-info.5550641/</ref>
|writer = [[Lamar Abrams]]<br>[[Katie Mitroff]]
 
|storyboard = [[Lamar Abrams]]<br>[[Katie Mitroff]]
 
|director = [[Byung Ki Lee]] (animation)<br>[[Jasmin Lai]] (art)<br>[[Joe Johnston]] (supervising)
 
 
|production = TBA
 
|production = TBA
 
|viewers = 1.312<ref>http://www.showbuzzdaily.com/articles/showbuzzdailys-top-150-friday-cable-originals-network-finals-7-29-2016.html</ref>
 
|viewers = 1.312<ref>http://www.showbuzzdaily.com/articles/showbuzzdailys-top-150-friday-cable-originals-network-finals-7-29-2016.html</ref>
|previous = "[[Alone at Sea]]"|next = "[[Gem Hunt]]"}}
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|writer = [[Lamar Abrams]]<br />[[Katie Mitroff]]
  +
|director = [[Byung Ki Lee]] (animation)<br />[[Jasmin Lai]] (art)<br />[[Joe Johnston]] (supervising)
  +
}}
 
'''"Greg the Babysitter"''' is the 16<sup>th</sup> episode of the [[Season 3|third season]] of ''[[Steven Universe (TV series)|Steven Universe]]'' and the 94<sup>th</sup> episode overall.
 
'''"Greg the Babysitter"''' is the 16<sup>th</sup> episode of the [[Season 3|third season]] of ''[[Steven Universe (TV series)|Steven Universe]]'' and the 94<sup>th</sup> episode overall.
   
 
== Official Synopsis ==
 
== Official Synopsis ==
 
<!--- Do not change this --->
 
<!--- Do not change this --->
[[Steven]] learns the tale of how [[Greg]] came to work at the [[It's a Wash|car wash]].<ref>http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/video/steven-universe/summer-adventures-greg-the-babysitter-episode.html</ref>
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[[Steven Universe (character)|Steven]] learns the tale of how [[Greg Universe|Greg]] came to work at the [[It's a Wash|car wash]].<ref>http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/video/steven-universe/i-think-i-need-a-little-change-clip.html</ref>
   
 
== Plot ==
 
== Plot ==
  +
[[File:Greg The Babysitter 014.png|thumb|200px|left]]
The episode begins with [[Steven Universe (character)|Steven]] and [[Greg Universe|Greg]] working at the car wash. Greg is surprised they already had two customers at that day and says that it has not done that great since 15 years ago, when a 'mud-nado' struck. Steven is surprised that Greg had this job longer than he has been alive, and asks how Greg got the job in the first place. Greg starts to tell him but Steven interrupts him, gets the ukulele and tells Greg to sing him the story. Greg makes a remark about how all his flashbacks have always begu
 
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The episode begins with Steven and Greg working at the car wash. Greg is surprised they already had two customers that day and says that the car wash has not been that busy since 15 years ago when a 'mud-nado' struck. Steven is surprised that Greg had this job longer than he has been alive, and asks how Greg got the job in the first place. Greg starts to tell him but Steven interrupts him, gets the [[Greg's Guitar|guitar]], and tells Greg to sing him the story. Greg makes a remark about how all his stories have always begun with a song but begins to sing anyway, cueing a flashback.
   
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[[File:Greg The Babysitter 080.png|thumb|200px]]
☀<center>
 
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A flashback compilation of Greg and [[Rose Quartz|Rose]] having fun is seen until Greg realizes that he needs money. The [[I Think I Need a Little (Change)|song]] ends with him sitting on a road, singing for money. Seeing that he did not get much money, he goes to [[Vidalia|Vidalia's]] [[Onion's House|house]]. She lets him in and she is seen trying to feed her baby, [[Sour Cream]], mushed-up carrots. Greg comes in and eats cereal. After some small talk with Vidalia, he goes into the living room and starts watching TV. He watches one of the first commercials of [[Li'l Butler]] on TV which makes him laugh so hard that he spills all the milk on his clothes and Vidalia's couch. The scene cuts to Vidalia and Greg in the washing room and Vidalia offering Greg to wash his shirt. Greg notices the shirt she is wearing, to which Vidalia responds that it is her uniform for her new job at the [[Minor Locations#T-Shirt Shop|T-Shirt Shop]], which starts today. Shortly after that, the telephone rings and Vidalia answers it. After the phone call is over she tells Greg that the babysitter who was supposed to look after Sour Cream canceled and asks him if he could do it to which he agrees. Later, Vidalia goes to work and tells Greg that she will destroy him if something happens to Sour Cream.
= Shrek Script - Dialogue Transcript =
 
</center>Voila! Finally, the''' Shrek script''' is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, and Cameron Diaz.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Shrek. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.<center>Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more '''free movie scripts'''!</center>
 
   
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[[File:Greg the Babysitter 136.png|thumb|200px|left]]
== Shrek Script ==
 
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Greg takes baby Sour Cream to the beach, putting sunscreen and sunglasses on him. Suddenly, Rose comes floating by and is pleasantly surprised by the baby. She asks where the "mini-human" came from and if Greg made it. Greg introduces Sour Cream to Rose and the two show him how to have fun at the beach. Later, the three are lying at the beach and Rose tells Greg that it took her a long time for her to figure out that human infants and adults are the same species. She says that she admires humans for their ability to grow up and invent their own personality. She contrasts them to [[Gems]], who are made for a reason, know what they are supposed to be when they are created, and stay the way they are forever. Greg, inspired by her words, wants to write them down for a new song and asks Rose if she could watch over Sour Cream for a while.
{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.
 
 
But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only
 
 
be broken by love's first kiss.
 
 
She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing
 
 
dragon.
 
 
Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison,
 
 
but non prevailed.
 
 
She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest
 
 
tower for her true love and true love's first kiss.
 
 
{Laughing}
 
 
Like that's ever gonna happen.
 
 
{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}
 
 
What a load of -
 
 
 
 
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
 
 
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
 
 
She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
 
 
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
 
 
The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'
 
 
Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'
 
 
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
 
 
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
 
 
So much to do so much to see
 
 
So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets
 
 
You'll never know if you don't go
 
 
You'll never shine if you don't glow
 
 
Hey, now You're an all-star
 
 
Get your game on, go play
 
 
Hey, now You're a rock star
 
 
Get the show on, get paid
 
 
And all that glitters is gold
 
 
Only shootin' stars break the mold
 
 
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
 
 
You're bundled up now but wait till you get older
 
 
But the meteor men beg to differ
 
 
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
 
 
The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin
 
 
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
 
 
My world's on fire
 
 
How 'bout yours
 
 
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored
 
 
Hey, now, you're an all-star
 
 
{Shouting}
 
 
Get your game on, go play
 
 
Hey, now You're a rock star
 
 
Get the show on, get paid
 
 
And all that glitters is gold
 
 
Only shootin' stars break the mold
 
 
{Belches}
 
 
Go!
 
 
Go!
 
 
{Record Scratching}
 
 
Go. Go.Go.
 
 
Hey, now, you're an all-star
 
 
Get your game on, go play
 
 
Hey, now You're a rock star
 
 
Get the show on, get paid
 
 
And all that glitters is gold
 
 
Only shootin' stars break the mold
 
 
 
 
-Think it's in there?
 
 
-All right. Let's get it!
 
 
-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?
 
 
-Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
-Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.
 
 
Now, ogres - - They're much worse.
 
 
They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.
 
 
-No!
 
 
-They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!
 
 
Actually, it's quite good on toast.
 
 
-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
 
 
{Gasping}
 
 
-Right.
 
 
{Roaring}
 
 
{Shouting}
 
 
{Roaring}
 
 
{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.
 
 
{Gasping}
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
{Laughing} And stay out!
 
 
"Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
{Man's voice} All right. This one's full.
 
 
-Take it away!
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-Move it along. Come on! Get up!
 
 
-Next!
 
 
-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.
 
 
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!
 
 
-Get up! Come on!
 
 
-Twenty pieces.
 
 
{Thudding}
 
 
-Sit down there!
 
 
-Keep quiet!
 
 
{Crying}
 
 
-This cage is too small.
 
 
-Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.
 
 
I can change. Please! Give me another chance!
 
 
-Oh, shut up.
 
 
-Oh!
 
 
-Next!
 
 
-What have you got?
 
 
-This little wooden puppet.
 
 
-I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.
 
 
-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
 
 
-Father, please! Don't let them do this!
 
 
-Help me!
 
 
-Next! What have you got?
 
 
-Well, I've got a talking donkey.
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
-Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
 
 
-Oh, go ahead, little fella.
 
 
-Well?
 
 
-Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous.
 
 
He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - -
 
 
-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
 
 
-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.
 
 
I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
 
 
-Get her out of my sight.
 
 
-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-Hey! I can fly!
 
 
-He can fly!
 
 
-He can fly!
 
 
-He can talk!
 
 
-Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.
 
 
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
 
 
but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!
 
 
Oh-oh.
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
-Seize him!
 
 
-After him! He's getting away!
 
 
{Grunts, Gasps}
 
 
{Man}
 
 
-Get him! This way! Turn!
 
 
-You there. Orge!
 
 
-Aye?
 
 
-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under
 
 
arrest
 
 
and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility.
 
 
-Oh, really? You and what army?
 
 
{Gasps, Whimpering}
 
 
{Chuckles}
 
 
-Can I say something to you?
 
 
-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here.
 
 
Incredible!
 
 
Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa!
 
 
-Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great
 
 
back here? Those guards!
 
 
They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They
 
 
was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made
 
 
me feel good to see that.
 
 
-Oh, that's great. Really.
 
 
-Man, it's good to be free.
 
 
-Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?
 
 
Hmm?
 
 
-But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by
 
 
myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you.
 
 
You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit
 
 
out of anybody that crosses us.
 
 
{Roaring}
 
 
-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that
 
 
don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you
 
 
definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!
 
 
You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - -
 
 
{Mumbling}
 
 
Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my
 
 
butt that day.
 
 
-Why are you following me?
 
 
-I'll tell you why.
 
 
 
 
'Cause I'm all alone
 
 
There's no one here beside me
 
 
My promlems have all gone
 
 
There's no one to deride me
 
 
But you gotta heve friends - -
 
 
 
 
-Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.
 
 
-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.
 
 
-Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?
 
 
-Uh - - Really tall?
 
 
-No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't
 
 
that bother you?
 
 
-Nope.
 
 
-Really?
 
 
-Really, really.
 
 
-Oh.
 
 
-Man, I like you. What's you name?
 
 
-Uh, Shrek.
 
 
-Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?
 
 
You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.
 
 
I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that.
 
 
Who'd want to live in place like that?
 
 
-That would be my home.
 
 
-Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a
 
 
decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I
 
 
like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
 
 
-I guess you don't entertain much, do you?
 
 
-I like my privacy.
 
 
-You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I
 
 
hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them
 
 
a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
 
 
-Can I stay with you?
 
 
-Uh, what?
 
 
-Can I stay with you, please?
 
 
-Of course!
 
 
-Really?
 
 
-No.
 
 
-Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to
 
 
be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta
 
 
stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!
 
 
-Okay! Okay! But one night only.
 
 
-Ah! Thank you!
 
 
-What are you - - No! No!
 
 
-This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories,
 
 
and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.
 
 
-Oh!
 
 
-Where do, uh, I sleep?
 
 
-Outside!
 
 
-Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you
 
 
don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.
 
 
{Sniffles}
 
 
-Here I go.
 
 
-Good night.
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside.
 
 
I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself,
 
 
outside.
 
 
 
 
I'm all alone
 
 
There's no one here beside me
 
 
{Bubbling}
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
{Creaking}
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-I thought I told you to stay outside.
 
 
-I'm outside.
 
 
{Clattering}
 
 
-Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we
 
 
have?
 
 
-It's not home, but it'll do just fune.
 
 
-What a lovely bed.
 
 
-Got ya.
 
 
{Sniffs} I found some cheese.
 
 
-Ow! {Grunts}
 
 
-Blah! Awful stuff.
 
 
-Is that you, Gorder?
 
 
-How did you know?
 
 
-Enough! What are you doing in my house?
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
-Hey!
 
 
{Snickers}
 
 
-Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.
 
 
-Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.
 
 
-Huh?
 
 
{Gusps}
 
 
{Male voice} What?
 
 
-I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I
 
 
have to do get a little privacy?
 
 
-Aah!
 
 
-Oh, no. No! No!
 
 
{Cackling}
 
 
-What?
 
 
-Quit it.
 
 
-Don't push.
 
 
{Squeaking}
 
 
{Lows}
 
 
- What are you doing in my swamp?
 
 
{Echoing}
 
 
Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!
 
 
{Gasping}
 
 
-Oh, dear!
 
 
-Whoa!
 
 
-All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go!
 
 
Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!
 
 
-Quickly. Come on!
 
 
-No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there.
 
 
-Oh!
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.
 
 
-Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
 
 
-What?
 
 
-We were forced to come here.
 
 
-By who?
 
 
-Lord Farquaad.
 
 
-He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice.
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?
 
 
{Murmuring}
 
 
-Oh, I do. I know where he is.
 
 
-Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?
 
 
-Me! Me!
 
 
-Anyone?
 
 
-Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable.
 
 
Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy
 
 
Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came
 
 
from!
 
 
{Cheering}
 
 
{Twittering}
 
 
-Oh! You! You're comin' with me.
 
 
- All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two
 
 
stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!
 
 
-On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek.
 
 
-Hey. Oh, oh!
 
 
-I can't wait to get on the road again.
 
 
-What did I say about singing?
 
 
-Can I whistle?
 
 
-No.
 
 
-Can I hum it?
 
 
-All right, hum it.
 
 
{Humming}
 
 
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
{Whimpering}
 
 
-That's enough. He's ready to talk.
 
 
{Coughing}
 
 
{Laughing}
 
 
{Clears throat}
 
 
-Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the
 
 
gingerbread man!
 
 
-You are a monster.
 
 
-I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy
 
 
tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the
 
 
others?
 
 
-Eat me!{Grunts}
 
 
-I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached
 
 
its end! Tell me or I'll - -
 
 
-No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons.
 
 
-All right then. Who's hiding them?
 
 
-Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?
 
 
-The muffin man?
 
 
-The muffin man.
 
 
-Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?
 
 
-Well, she's married to the muffin man.
 
 
-The muffin man?
 
 
-The muffin man!
 
 
-She's married to the muffin man.
 
 
{Door opens}
 
 
-My lord! We found it.
 
 
-Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.
 
 
{Man grunting}
 
 
{Gasping}
 
 
-Oh!
 
 
-Magic mirror - -
 
 
-Don't tell him anything!
 
 
-No!
 
 
{Ginerbread man whispers}
 
 
-Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect
 
 
kingdom of them all?
 
 
-Well, technically you're not a king.
 
 
-Uh, Thelonius.
 
 
-You were saying?
 
 
-What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All
 
 
you have to do is marry a princess.
 
 
-Go on.
 
 
{Chuckles}
 
 
-So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to
 
 
meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette
 
 
number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away.
 
 
She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking
 
 
and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.
 
 
-Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of
 
 
fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just
 
 
kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come
 
 
on. Give it up for Snow White!
 
 
-And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a
 
 
fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling
 
 
lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes
 
 
pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing,
 
 
Princess Fiona!
 
 
-So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or
 
 
bachelorette number three?
 
 
-Two! Two!
 
 
-Three! Three!
 
 
-Two! Two!
 
 
-Three!
 
 
-Three? One?
 
 
{Shudders} Three?
 
 
--Three! Pick number three, my lord!
 
 
-Okay, okay, uh, number three!
 
 
-Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.
 
 
 
 
If you like pina coladas
 
 
And getting caught in the rain
 
 
 
 
-Princess Fiona.
 
 
 
 
If you're not into yoga
 
 
 
 
-She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - -
 
 
-But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.
 
 
-I'll do it.
 
 
-Yes, but after sunset - -
 
 
-Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will
 
 
finally have the perfect king!
 
 
Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.
 
 
 
 
-But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd
 
 
find it.
 
 
-So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.
 
 
-Uh-huh. That's the place.
 
 
-Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
{Groans}
 
 
-Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.
 
 
-Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
 
 
-Hey, you!
 
 
{Screams}
 
 
-Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - -
 
 
{Whimpering}
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
{Whimpering, Groans}
 
 
{Turnstile clatters}
 
 
{Chuckles}
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-It's quiet. Too quiet.
 
 
{Creaking}
 
 
-Where is everybody?
 
 
-Hey, look at this!
 
 
{Clattering, whirring, clicking}
 
 
Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town
 
 
Here we have some rules
 
 
Let us lay them down
 
 
Don't make waves, stay in line
 
 
And we'll get along fine
 
 
DuLoc is perfect place
 
 
Please keep off of the grass
 
 
Shine your shoes, wipe your... face
 
 
DuLoc is, DuLoc is
 
 
DuLoc is perfect ...... place
 
 
{Camera shutter clicks
 
 
{Whirring}
 
 
-Wow! Let's do that again!
 
 
-No. No. No, no, no! No.
 
 
{Trumpet fanfare}
 
 
{Crowd cheering}
 
 
-Brave knights.
 
 
-You are the best and brightest in all the land.
 
 
-Today one of you shall prove himself - -
 
 
-All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
 
 
-Sorry about that.
 
 
{Cheering}
 
 
-That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go
 
 
forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the
 
 
dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first
 
 
runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae
 
 
die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
 
 
{Cheering}
 
 
-Let the tournament begin!
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-Oh!
 
 
-What is that?
 
 
{Gasping}
 
 
-It's hideous!
 
 
-Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.
 
 
-Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named
 
 
champion! Have it him!
 
 
-Get him!
 
 
-Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.
 
 
-Go ahead! Get him!
 
 
-Can't we just settle this over a pint?
 
 
-Kill the beast!
 
 
-No? All right then. Come on!
 
 
 
 
I don't give a damn about my reputation
 
 
You're living in the past
 
 
It's a new generation
 
 
 
 
-Damn!
 
 
{Whinnying}
 
 
 
 
A girl can do what she wants to do
 
 
And that's what I'm gonna do
 
 
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
 
 
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
 
 
Me, me, me
 
 
 
 
-Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!
 
 
 
 
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
 
 
Never said I wanted to improve my station
 
 
 
 
-Ah!
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
 
 
And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun
 
 
 
 
-Yeah!
 
 
 
 
And I don't have to please no one
 
 
 
 
-The chair! Give him the chair!
 
 
 
 
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
 
 
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
 
 
Me, me, me
 
 
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me
 
 
{Bell dings}
 
 
{Cheering}
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
-Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till
 
 
Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!
 
 
{Shrek laughs}
 
 
{Crowd gasping, murmuring}
 
 
-Shall I give the order, sir?
 
 
-No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!
 
 
-What?
 
 
-Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great
 
 
and noble quest.
 
 
-Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.
 
 
-Your swamp?
 
 
-Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures!
 
 
{Crowd murmuring}
 
 
-Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for
 
 
me, and I'll give you your swamp back.
 
 
-Exactly the way it was?
 
 
-Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
 
 
-And the squatters?
 
 
-As good as gone.
 
 
-What kind of quest?
 
 
-Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a
 
 
princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only
 
 
don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place.
 
 
-Is that about right?
 
 
-Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
 
 
-I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on
 
 
him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make
 
 
your bread, the whole orge trip.
 
 
-Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and
 
 
put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and
 
 
drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
 
 
-Uh, no, not really, no.
 
 
-For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think.
 
 
-Example?
 
 
-Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions.
 
 
-{Sniffs} They stink?
 
 
-Yes - - No!
 
 
-They make you cry?
 
 
-No!
 
 
-You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little
 
 
white hairs.
 
 
-No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have
 
 
layers. You get it? We both have layers.
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes
 
 
onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
 
 
-I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes.
 
 
-You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a
 
 
person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "No, I don't like
 
 
no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.
 
 
-No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like
 
 
onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.
 
 
-Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
 
 
-You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or
 
 
something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start
 
 
slobbering.
 
 
 
 
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
 
 
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
 
 
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
 
 
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
 
 
And everything that you receive up yonder
 
 
Is what you give to me the day I wander
 
 
I'm on my way
 
 
I'm on my way
 
 
I'm on my way
 
 
 
 
-Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?
 
 
-You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was
 
 
open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's
 
 
brimstone We must be getting close.
 
 
-Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I
 
 
know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone
 
 
neither.
 
 
{Rumbling}
 
 
-Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location.
 
 
{Laughing}
 
 
-Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers?
 
 
-Oh, aye.
 
 
-Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have
 
 
layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.
 
 
-Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.
 
 
-You know what I mean.
 
 
-You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.
 
 
-I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over
 
 
a boiling like of lava!
 
 
-Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional
 
 
support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step
 
 
at a time.
 
 
-Really?
 
 
-Really, really.
 
 
-Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
 
 
-Just keep moving. And don't look down.
 
 
-Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on
 
 
moving. Don't look down.
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off,
 
 
please!
 
 
-But you're already halfway.
 
 
-But I know that half is safe!
 
 
-Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.
 
 
-Shrek, no! Wait!
 
 
-Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me?
 
 
-Don't do that!
 
 
-Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?
 
 
-Oh, this?
 
 
-Yes, that!
 
 
-Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.
 
 
{Screams}
 
 
-No, Shrek! No! Stop it!
 
 
-You said do it! I'm doin' it.
 
 
-I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh!
 
 
-That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
 
 
-Cool.
 
 
-So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?
 
 
-Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
 
 
{Chuckles}
 
 
-I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
 
 
{Water dripping, wind howling}
 
 
-You afraid?
 
 
-No.
 
 
-But - -
 
 
- Shh.
 
 
-Oh, good. Me neither.
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible
 
 
response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I
 
 
might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and
 
 
breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little
 
 
scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if
 
 
you can find any stairs.
 
 
-Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.
 
 
-The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest
 
 
tower.
 
 
-What makes you think she'll be there?
 
 
-I read it in a book once.
 
 
-Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those
 
 
stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way
 
 
they're goin'.
 
 
{Creacing}
 
 
-I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with
 
 
me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a
 
 
step right here. I'd step all over it.
 
 
-Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - -
 
 
-Dragon!
 
 
{Screams}
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
{Roars}
 
 
-Donkey, look out!
 
 
{Screams}
 
 
{Whimpering}
 
 
-Got ya!
 
 
{Roars}
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
{Shouts}
 
 
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
 
 
{Screaming}
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-Oh! Aah! Aah!
 
 
{Gasping}
 
 
{Crowls}
 
 
-No. Oh, no, No!
 
 
{Screams}
 
 
-Oh, what large teeth you have.
 
 
{Crowls}
 
 
-I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time
 
 
from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile
 
 
you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know
 
 
what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of
 
 
course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty.
 
 
What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh.
 
 
Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - -
 
 
(Coughs)
 
 
-I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna
 
 
blow smoke rings. Shrek!
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
{Whimpering}
 
 
-No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
 
 
{Groans, Sighs}
 
 
{Vocalizing}
 
 
-Oh! Oh!
 
 
-Wake up!
 
 
-What?
 
 
-Are you Princess Fiona?
 
 
-I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.
 
 
-Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!
 
 
-But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be
 
 
a wonderful, romantic moment?
 
 
-Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
 
 
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out
 
 
yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
 
 
-You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?
 
 
-Mm-hmm.
 
 
{Screams, grunts}
 
 
-But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for
 
 
me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!
 
 
-I don't think so.
 
 
-Can I at least know the name of my champion?
 
 
-Um, Shrek.
 
 
-Sir Shrek.
 
 
{Cleans throat}
 
 
-I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
 
 
-Thanks!
 
 
{Roaring}
 
 
-You didn't slay the dragon?
 
 
-It's on my to-do list. Now come on!
 
 
{Screams}
 
 
-But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn,
 
 
banner flying. That's what all the other knights did.
 
 
-Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
 
 
-That's not the point. Oh!
 
 
-Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there.
 
 
-Well, I have to save my ass.
 
 
-What kind of knight are you?
 
 
-One of a kind.
 
 
-Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to
 
 
know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned.
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
-I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not
 
 
emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - - Magnitude really
 
 
is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted
 
 
physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back
 
 
up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to
 
 
know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot,
 
 
but I just love receiving cards - - I'd really love to stay, but - -
 
 
Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna
 
 
tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with
 
 
that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!
 
 
{Growls}
 
 
{Roaring}
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-Hi, Princess!
 
 
-It talks!
 
 
-Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.
 
 
{Screams}
 
 
{Screaming}
 
 
-Oh!
 
 
{Thuds}
 
 
{Groans}
 
 
{Roars}
 
 
{Roaring}
 
 
-Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon.
 
 
{Fchoing}
 
 
-Run!
 
 
{Gasping}
 
 
{Screaming}
 
 
{Roaring}
 
 
{Screams}
 
 
{Roars}
 
 
{Panting, sighs}
 
 
{Whimpers}
 
 
{Roars}
 
 
-You did it!
 
 
-You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful.
 
 
You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and
 
 
thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
 
 
{Clears throat}
 
 
-And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
 
 
-I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a
 
 
steed.
 
 
-The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
 
 
-Uh, no.
 
 
-Why not?
 
 
-I have helmet hair.
 
 
-Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
 
 
-No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.
 
 
-But how will you kiss me?
 
 
-What? That wasn't in the job description.
 
 
-Maybe it's a perk.
 
 
-No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in
 
 
a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then
 
 
they share true love's first kiss.
 
 
-Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you
 
 
true love?
 
 
-Well, yes.
 
 
{Laughing}
 
 
-You think Shrek is your true love!
 
 
-What is so funny?
 
 
-Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay?
 
 
-Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your
 
 
helmet.
 
 
-Look. I really don't think this is a good idea.
 
 
-Just take off the helmet.
 
 
-I'm not going to.
 
 
-Take ot off.
 
 
-No!
 
 
-Now!
 
 
-Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.
 
 
-You- - You're a- - an orge.
 
 
-Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.
 
 
-Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed
 
 
to be an orge.
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the
 
 
one who wants to marry you.
 
 
-Then why didn't he come rescue me?
 
 
-Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.
 
 
-But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- -
 
 
his pet.
 
 
-So much for noble steed.
 
 
-You're not making my job any easier.
 
 
-I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad
 
 
that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right
 
 
here.
 
 
-Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy.
 
 
-You wouldn't dare. Put me down!
 
 
-Ya comin', Donkey?
 
 
-I'm right behind ya.
 
 
-Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not
 
 
dignified! Put me down!
 
 
-Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you,
 
 
right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down
 
 
real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a
 
 
crisp and eaten?
 
 
-You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what
 
 
happens when you find your - - Hey!
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.
 
 
-You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!
 
 
-And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like?
 
 
-Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in
 
 
short supply.
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
-I don't know. There are those who think little of him.
 
 
-Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never
 
 
measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
 
 
-Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the
 
 
"measuring" when you see him tomorrow.
 
 
-Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
 
 
-No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.
 
 
-But there's robbers in the woods.
 
 
-Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good.
 
 
-Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this
 
 
forest.
 
 
-I need to find somewhere to camp now!
 
 
{Birds wings fluttering}
 
 
{Grunting}
 
 
-Hey! Over here.
 
 
-Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a
 
 
princess.
 
 
-No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.
 
 
-Homey touches? Like what?
 
 
{Crashing}
 
 
-A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.
 
 
-You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.
 
 
-I said good night!
 
 
-Shrek, What are you doing?
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
-I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding.
 
 
{Fire cracking}
 
 
-And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over
 
 
three wheat fields. Right. Yeah.
 
 
-Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?
 
 
-The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look,
 
 
there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.
 
 
-I know you're making this up.
 
 
-No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away
 
 
from his stench.
 
 
-That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.
 
 
-You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?
 
 
Forget it.
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?
 
 
-Our swamp?
 
 
-You know, when we're through rescuing the princess.
 
 
-We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my
 
 
swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my
 
 
land.
 
 
-You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what
 
 
I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody
 
 
out.
 
 
-No, do ya think?
 
 
-Are you hidin' something?
 
 
-Never mind, Donkey.
 
 
-Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?
 
 
-No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.
 
 
-Why don't you want to talk about it?
 
 
-Why do you want to talk about it?
 
 
-Why are you blocking?
 
 
-I'm not blocking.
 
 
-Oh, yes, you are.
 
 
-Donkey, I'm warning you.
 
 
-Who you trying to keep out?
 
 
-Everyone! Okay?
 
 
-Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.
 
 
-Oh! For the love of Pete!
 
 
-What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?
 
 
-Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that
 
 
seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go.
 
 
"Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!" They judge me before they
 
 
even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
 
 
-You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big,
 
 
stupid, ugly orge.
 
 
-Yeah, I know.
 
 
-So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
 
 
-Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
 
 
-Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one
 
 
there?
 
 
-That's the moon.
 
 
-Oh, okay.
 
 
 
 
{Orchestra}
 
 
{Dulcimer}
 
 
-Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the
 
 
princess.
 
 
-Hmph.
 
 
-Ah. Perfect.
 
 
{Inhales}
 
 
 
 
{Snoring}
 
 
{Vocalizing}
 
 
{Whistling}
 
 
{Sizzling}
 
 
{Sniffs, yawns}
 
 
-Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.
 
 
--Come on, baby. I said I like it.
 
 
-Donkey, wake up.
 
 
-Huh? What?
 
 
-Wake up.
 
 
-What?
 
 
-Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?
 
 
-Good morning, Princess!
 
 
-What's all this about?
 
 
-You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to
 
 
make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.
 
 
-Uh, thanks.
 
 
{Sniffs}
 
 
-Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.
 
 
{Belches}
 
 
-Shrek!
 
 
-What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs}
 
 
-Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess.
 
 
{Belches}
 
 
-Thanks.
 
 
-She's as nasty as you are.
 
 
-{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected.
 
 
-Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them.
 
 
{Vocalizing}
 
 
 
 
-La liberte! Hey!
 
 
-Princess!
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
-What are you doing?
 
 
-Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from
 
 
this green - -
 
 
{Kissing sounds}
 
 
-beast.
 
 
-Hey!
 
 
-That's my princess! Go find you own!
 
 
-Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?
 
 
-Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are!
 
 
-Oh! Of couse! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduse myself. Oh, Merry
 
 
Men.
 
 
{Laughs}
 
 
 
 
{Accordion}
 
 
Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo.
 
 
I steal from the rich and give to the needy.
 
 
He takes a wee percentage,
 
 
But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels
 
 
Man, I'm good
 
 
What a guy, Monsieur Hood
 
 
Break it down
 
 
I like an honest fight
 
 
and a saucy little maid
 
 
What he's basically saying
 
 
is he likes to get - -
 
 
Paid
 
 
So
 
 
When an orge in the bush
 
 
grabs a lady by the tush
 
 
That's bad
 
 
That's bad
 
 
When a beauty's with a beast
 
 
it makes me awfully mad
 
 
He's mad
 
 
He's really, really mad
 
 
I'll take my blade and
 
 
ram it through your heart
 
 
Keep your eyes on me, boys
 
 
'cause I'm about to start
 
 
 
 
{Grunts, Groans}
 
 
{Karate Yell}
 
 
{Merry Men Gasping}
 
 
{Panting}
 
 
-Man, that was annoying!
 
 
-Oh, you little- -
 
 
{Karate Yell}
 
 
{Accordion}
 
 
{Shouting, groaning}
 
 
{Chuckles}
 
 
-Uh, shall we?
 
 
-Hold the phone.
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from?
 
 
-What?
 
 
-That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?
 
 
-Well - - {Chuckles} When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these
 
 
things in case there's a - - There's an arrow in your butt!
 
 
-What? Oh, would you look at that?
 
 
-Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.
 
 
-Why? What's wrong?
 
 
-Shrek's hurt.
 
 
-Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.
 
 
-Donkey, I'm okay.
 
 
-You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep
 
 
you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the
 
 
Heimlich?
 
 
-Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and
 
 
find me a blue flower with red thorns.
 
 
-Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns.
 
 
Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!
 
 
-{Both} Donkey!
 
 
-Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.
 
 
-What are the flowers for?
 
 
-For getting rid of Donkey.
 
 
-Ah.
 
 
-Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.
 
 
-Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
 
 
-I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
 
 
-No, it's tender.
 
 
-Now, hold on.
 
 
-What you're doing is the opposite of help.
 
 
-Don't move.
 
 
-Look, time out.
 
 
-Would you - -
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
-Okay. What do you propose we do?
 
 
-Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red
 
 
thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue
 
 
flower, red thorns.
 
 
-Ow!
 
 
-Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'!
 
 
-Ow! Not good.
 
 
-Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head.
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
-It's just about - -
 
 
-Ow! Ohh!
 
 
-Ahem.
 
 
-Nothing happend. We were just, uh - -
 
 
-Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
 
 
-Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was
 
 
just- - Ugh!
 
 
-Ow!
 
 
-Hey, what's that?
 
 
{Nervous chickle}
 
 
-That's- - Is that blood?
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
{Bird chirping}
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
 
 
My beloved monster and me
 
 
We go everywhere together
 
 
Wearin' a raincoat
 
 
that has four sleeves
 
 
Gets us through all kinds of weather
 
 
 
 
-Aah!
 
 
 
 
She will always be the only thing
 
 
That comes between me and the awful sting
 
 
That comes from living in a world
 
 
that's so damn mean
 
 
{Croaks}
 
 
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
 
 
-Hey!
 
 
La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la
 
 
{Both laughing}
 
 
La-la, la-la, la-la
 
 
 
 
-There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you.
 
 
-That's DuLoc?
 
 
-Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for
 
 
something, which I think means he has a really - - Ow!
 
 
-Um, I, uh- - I guess we better move on.
 
 
-Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey.
 
 
{Blubbering}
 
 
-What?
 
 
-I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good.
 
 
-What are you talking about? I'm fine.
 
 
-That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on
 
 
your back. Dead.
 
 
-You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?
 
 
-Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea.
 
 
-I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and
 
 
when I turn my head like this, look,
 
 
{Bones crunch}
 
 
-Ow! See?
 
 
-Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
 
 
-I'll get the firewood.
 
 
-Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I don't have any
 
 
toes! I think I need a hug.
 
 
 
 
-Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?
 
 
-Uh, weedrat. Rotisserie style.
 
 
-No kidding. Well, this is delicious.
 
 
-Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I
 
 
make a mean weedrat stew.
 
 
{Chuckling}
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.
 
 
{Gulps}
 
 
-Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind
 
 
of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it.
 
 
{Chuckles}
 
 
-I'd like that.
 
 
{Slurps, laughs}
 
 
 
 
See the pyramids along the Nile
 
 
 
 
-Um, Princess?
 
 
 
 
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
 
 
 
 
-Yes, Shrek?
 
 
-I, um, I was wondering.
 
 
 
 
Just remember, darling all the while
 
 
 
 
-Are you- -
 
 
 
 
You belong to me
 
 
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-Are you gonna eat that?
 
 
{Chuckles}
 
 
-Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset.
 
 
-Sunset?
 
 
-Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late.
 
 
-What?
 
 
-Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark,
 
 
aren't you?
 
 
-Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside.
 
 
-Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until
 
 
- - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.
 
 
{Shrek sighs}
 
 
-Good night.
 
 
-Good night.
 
 
{Door creaks}
 
 
-Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here.
 
 
-Oh, what are you talkin' about?
 
 
-I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts.
 
 
And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it.
 
 
-You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.
 
 
-Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in
 
 
and tell her how you feel.
 
 
-I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that,
 
 
well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a
 
 
princess, and I'm - -
 
 
-An orge?
 
 
-Yeah. An orge.
 
 
-Hey, where you goin'?
 
 
-To get... move firewood.
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
 
 
-Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you?
 
 
{Wings fluttering}
 
 
-Princess?
 
 
{Creaking}
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games.
 
 
{Screams}
 
 
-Aah!
 
 
-Oh, no!
 
 
-No, help!
 
 
-Shh!
 
 
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
 
 
-No, it's okay. It's okay.
 
 
-What did you do with the princess?
 
 
-Donkey, I'm the princess.
 
 
-Aah!
 
 
-It's me, in this body.
 
 
-Oh, my God! You ate the princess. Can you hear me?
 
 
-Donkey!
 
 
-Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!
 
 
-No!
 
 
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
 
 
-Shh.
 
 
-Shrek!
 
 
-This is me.
 
 
{Muffled mumbling}
 
 
-Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different.
 
 
-I'm ugly, okay?
 
 
-Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats
 
 
was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - -
 
 
-No.
 
 
-I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember.
 
 
-What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.
 
 
-It's only happens when sun goes down.
 
 
"By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you
 
 
find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form."
 
 
-Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.
 
 
-It's a spell.
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I
 
 
become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to
 
 
await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry
 
 
Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this.
 
 
{Sobs}
 
 
-All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not
 
 
that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look
 
 
like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7.
 
 
-But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant
 
 
to look.
 
 
-Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad?
 
 
-I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.
 
 
-But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you
 
 
got a lot in common.
 
 
-Shrek?
 
 
 
 
-Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for
 
 
me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's
 
 
pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might
 
 
like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh -
 
 
-
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.
 
 
-I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I
 
 
mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly?
 
 
"Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here
 
 
with Shrek.
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.
 
 
{Deep sigh}
 
 
-Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only
 
 
way to break the spell.
 
 
-You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.
 
 
-No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know.
 
 
-What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?
 
 
-Promise you won't tell. Promise!
 
 
-All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know
 
 
before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.
 
 
-Look at my eye twitchin'.
 
 
{Door opens}
 
 
{Snoring}
 
 
-I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him.
 
 
-Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want - -
 
 
{Snoring}
 
 
-Shrek. Are you all right?
 
 
-Perfect! Never been better.
 
 
-I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you.
 
 
-You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last
 
 
night.
 
 
-You heard what I said?
 
 
-Every word.
 
 
-I thought you'd understand.
 
 
-Oh, I undersatnd. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly
 
 
beast?"
 
 
-But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.
 
 
-Yeah? Well, it does.
 
 
{Gasps, sighs}
 
 
-Ah, right on time.
 
 
{Horse whinnies}
 
 
-Princess, I've brought you a little something.
 
 
{Fanfare}
 
 
{Yawns}
 
 
-What'd I miss? What'd I miss?
 
 
{Muffled}
 
 
-Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey.
 
 
-Princess Fiona.
 
 
-As promised. Now hand it over.
 
 
-Very well, orge. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed.
 
 
-Take it and go before I change my mind.
 
 
-Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I
 
 
have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad.
 
 
-Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no.
 
 
{Snaps fingers}
 
 
-Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... farewell.
 
 
-Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the
 
 
orge. It's not like it has feelings.
 
 
-No, you're right. It doesn't.
 
 
-Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawerss Fiona. I ask your hand in
 
 
marriage.
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
 
 
-Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - -
 
 
-Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
 
 
-No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun
 
 
sets.
 
 
-Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's
 
 
so much to do! Threre's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest
 
 
list. Captain, round up some guests!
 
 
-Fare-thee-well, orge.
 
 
-Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away.
 
 
-Yeah? So what?
 
 
-Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to
 
 
her last night, She's - -
 
 
-I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya?
 
 
Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?
 
 
-Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you.
 
 
-I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone!
 
 
My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless,
 
 
pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys!
 
 
-But I thought - -
 
 
-Yeah. You know what? You tought wrong!
 
 
-Shrek.
 
 
 
 
I heard there was a secret chord
 
 
That David played and it pleased the Lord
 
 
But you don't really care for music, do ya
 
 
It goes like this the fourth, the fifth
 
 
The minor fall the major lift
 
 
The baffled king composing hallelujah
 
 
Hallelujah, hallelujah
 
 
Baby, I've been here before
 
 
I know this room I've walked this floor
 
 
I used to live alone before I knew you
 
 
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
 
 
But love is not a victory march
 
 
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
 
 
Hallelujah, hallelujah
 
 
And all I ever learned from love
 
 
Is how to shoot at someone
 
 
Who outdrew you
 
 
{Moaning}
 
 
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
 
 
It's not somebody who's seen the light
 
 
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
 
 
{Moaning}
 
 
Hallelujah, hallelujah
 
 
 
 
{Thumping sound}
 
 
-Donkey?
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
-What are you doing?
 
 
-I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see
 
 
one.
 
 
-Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not
 
 
through it.
 
 
-It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half.
 
 
-Oh! Your half. Hmm.
 
 
-Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I
 
 
get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks
 
 
like your head.
 
 
-Back off!
 
 
-No, you back off.
 
 
-This is my swamp!
 
 
-Our swamp.
 
 
-Let go, Donkey!
 
 
-You let go.
 
 
-Stubborn jackass!
 
 
-Smelly orge.
 
 
-Fine!
 
 
-Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.
 
 
-Well, I'm through with you.
 
 
-Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess
 
 
what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are
 
 
mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do!
 
 
You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.
 
 
-Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?
 
 
-Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other!
 
 
-Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in
 
 
the back!
 
 
-Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your
 
 
own feelings.
 
 
-Go away!
 
 
-There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she
 
 
ever do was like you, maybe even love you.
 
 
-Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of
 
 
you talking.
 
 
-She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody
 
 
else.
 
 
-She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about?
 
 
-Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me.
 
 
Right? Right?
 
 
-Donkey!
 
 
-No!
 
 
-Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right?
 
 
{Sighs}
 
 
-I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly orge. Can you
 
 
forgive me?
 
 
-Hey, that's what friends are for, right?
 
 
-Right. Friends?
 
 
-Friends.
 
 
-So, um, what did Fiona say about me?
 
 
-What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?
 
 
-The wedding! We'll never make it in time.
 
 
-Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I
 
 
have a way.
 
 
{Whistles}
 
 
-Donkey?
 
 
-I guess it's just my animal magnetism.
 
 
{Laughing}
 
 
-Aw, come here, you.
 
 
-All right, all right.Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass.
 
 
All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install
 
 
the seat belts yet.
 
 
-Whoo!
 
 
{Bells tolling}
 
 
{All gasping}
 
 
-People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witnss to the union....
 
 
-Um-
 
 
-of our new king - -
 
 
-Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"?
 
 
{Chuckling}
 
 
-Go on.
 
 
-Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about
 
 
that? Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't
 
 
you?
 
 
-What are you talking about?
 
 
-There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak
 
 
now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!"
 
 
-I don't have time for this!
 
 
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this
 
 
woman, don't you?
 
 
-Yes.
 
 
-You wanna hold her?
 
 
-Yes.
 
 
-Please her?
 
 
-Yes!
 
 
-Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. The chicks love that
 
 
romantic crap!
 
 
-All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?
 
 
-We gotta check it out.
 
 
 
 
-And so, by the power vested in me,
 
 
-What do you see?
 
 
-The whole town's in there.
 
 
-I now pronounce you husband and wife,
 
 
-They're at the altar.
 
 
-king and queen.
 
 
-Mother Fletcher! He already said it.
 
 
-Oh, for the love of Pete!
 
 
{Grunts}
 
 
-I object!
 
 
-Shrek?
 
 
{Gasps}
 
 
-Oh, now what does he want?
 
 
-Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first at all.
 
 
Very clean.
 
 
-What are you doing here?
 
 
-Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but
 
 
showing up uninvited to a wedding - -
 
 
-Fiona! I need to talk to you.
 
 
-Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll
 
 
excuse me - -
 
 
-But you can't marry him.
 
 
-And why not?
 
 
-Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king.
 
 
-Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.
 
 
-He's not your true love.
 
 
-And what do you know about true love?
 
 
-Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - -
 
 
-Oh, this is precious. The orge has fallen in love with the princess!
 
 
Oh, good Lord.
 
 
{Crowd laughting}
 
 
-An orge and a princess!
 
 
-Shrek, is this true?
 
 
-Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away
 
 
from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me! Mmmmm!
 
 
-"By night one way, by day another." I wanted to show you before.
 
 
{Whimpers}
 
 
{Crown gasping}
 
 
-Well, uh, that explains a lot.
 
 
-Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of
 
 
my sight now! Get them! Get them both!
 
 
-No, no!
 
 
-Shrek!
 
 
-This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that
 
 
makes me king! See? See?
 
 
-No, let go of me! Shrek!
 
 
-No!
 
 
-Don't just stand there, you morons.
 
 
-Get out of my way! Fiona! Arrgh!
 
 
-I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and
 
 
quartered!
 
 
-You'll beg for death to save you!
 
 
-No, Shrek!
 
 
-And as for you, my wife,
 
 
-Fiona!
 
 
-I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days!
 
 
-I'm king!
 
 
{Whistles}
 
 
-I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - Aaaah!
 
 
-Aah!
 
 
-All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to
 
 
use it.
 
 
{Roars}
 
 
-I'm a donkey on the edge!
 
 
{Belches}
 
 
-Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?
 
 
{Cheering}
 
 
-Go ahead, Shrek.
 
 
-Uh, Fiona?
 
 
-Yes, Shrek?
 
 
-I - - I love you.
 
 
-Really?
 
 
-Really, really.
 
 
- I love you too.
 
 
-Aawww!
 
 
-"Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true
 
 
form."
 
 
-"Take love's true form. Take love's true form."
 
 
-Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right?
 
 
-Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
 
 
-But you ARE beautiful.
 
 
{Chuckles}
 
 
-I was hoping this would be a happy ending.
 
 
 
 
I thought love was only true in fairy tales
 
 
Oy!
 
 
Meant for someone else but not for me
 
 
Love was out to get me
 
 
That's the way it seemed
 
 
Disappointment haunted all my dreams
 
 
And then I saw her face
 
 
Now I'm a believer and not a trace
 
 
Of doubt in my mind
 
 
I'm in love
 
 
Ooh-aah
 
 
I'm a believer I couldn't leave her
 
 
If I tried
 
 
 
 
-God bless us, every one.
 
 
 
 
Come on, y'all!
 
 
Then I saw her face
 
 
Ha-ha
 
 
Now I'm a believer
 
 
Listen!
 
 
Not a trace
 
 
Of doubt in my mind
 
 
I'm in love
 
 
Ooh-aah
 
 
I'm a believer
 
 
I couldn't leave her if I tried
 
 
-Ooh!
 
 
-Uh!
 
 
Then I saw her face
 
 
Now I'm a believer
 
 
Hey!
 
 
Not a trace
 
 
Uhh! Yeah.
 
 
Of doubt in my mind
 
 
 
 
-One more time!
 
 
I'm in love
 
 
I'm a believer
 
 
Come on!
 
 
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe,
 
 
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
 
 
Y'all sing it with me!
 
 
I
 
 
Believe
 
 
I believe
 
 
People in the back!
 
 
I believe
 
 
I'm a believer
 
 
I believe
 
 
I believe
 
 
I believe
 
 
I believe
 
 
{Hysterical laughing}
 
 
-Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh.
 
 
-I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
 
 
 
 
I believe in self-assertion
 
 
Destiny or a slight diversion
 
 
Now it seems I've got my head on straight
 
 
I'm a freak an apparition
 
 
Seems I've made the right decision
 
 
To try to turn back now it might be too late
 
 
 
 
Now I want to stay home today
 
 
Don't wanna go out
 
 
If anyone comes to play
 
 
Gonna get thrown out
 
 
I wanna stay home today
 
 
Don't want no company
 
 
No way
 
 
Yeah, yeah, yeah
 
 
 
 
I wanna be a millionaire someday
 
 
But know what it feels like to give it away
 
 
Watch me march to the beat of my own drum
 
 
And it's off to the moon and then back again
 
 
Same old day Same situation
 
 
My happiness rears back as if to say
 
 
 
 
I wanna stay home today
 
 
Don't wanna go out
 
 
If anyone comes to play
 
 
Gonna get thrown out
 
 
I wanna stay home today
 
 
Don't want no company
 
 
No way
 
 
Yeah, yeah, yeah
 
 
 
 
I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home.........
 
 
 
 
 
 
I get such a thrill when you look in my eyes
 
 
My heart skips a beat
 
 
Girl, I feel so alive
 
 
Please tell me, baby, if all this is true
 
 
'Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you
 
 
Oh-oh-oh
 
 
Makes me wanna dance
 
 
Oh-oh-oh
 
 
It's a new romance
 
 
Oh-oh-oh
 
 
I look into your eyes
 
 
Oh-oh-oh
 
 
The best years of our lives
 
 
When we first met
 
 
I could hardly believe
 
 
The things that would happen
 
 
and we could achieve
 
 
So let's be together
 
 
for all of our time
 
 
Oh, girl, I'm so thankful
 
 
that you are still mine
 
 
You always consider me
 
 
like an ugly duckling
 
 
And treat me like a Nostradamus
 
 
was why I had to get my shine on
 
 
I break a little something
 
 
to keep my mind on
 
 
'Cause you had my mind gone
 
 
Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh
 
 
Turn the lights on, Come on, baby
 
 
Let's just rewind the song
 
 
'Cause all I want to do is
 
 
make the rest years the best years
 
 
All night long
 
 
 
 
Oh-oh-oh
 
 
Makes me wanna dance
 
 
Makes me wanna dance
 
 
Oh-oh-oh
 
 
It's a new romance
 
 
It's a new romance
 
 
Oh-oh-oh
 
 
I look into your eyes
 
 
Oh, yeah, yeah
 
 
I look into your eyes
 
 
Oh-oh-oh
 
 
The best years of our lives
 
 
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..............
 
 
 
 
 
 
Everything looks bright
 
 
Standing in your light
 
 
Everything feels right
 
 
What's left is out of sight
 
 
What's a girl to do
 
 
I'm telling you
 
 
You're on my mind
 
 
I wanna be with you
 
 
'Cause when you're
 
 
standin' next to me
 
 
It's like wow
 
 
And all your kisses
 
 
seem to set me free
 
 
It's like wow
 
 
And when we touch
 
 
it's such a rush
 
 
I can't get enough
 
 
It's like- - It's like
 
 
Ooh-ooh
 
 
Hey, what
 
 
It's like wow
 
 
Ooh-ooh, hey
 
 
Hey, yeah
 
 
It's like wow
 
 
Everything is looking
 
 
right now, right now
 
 
It's like wow
 
 
And I got this feeling
 
 
This feeling
 
 
it's just like wow
 
 
It's just like wow
 
 
You are all I'm thinking of.
 
 
Like wow
 
 
Everything feels right
 
 
Everything feels right
 
 
Like wow
 
 
Everything looks bright
 
 
All my senses are right
 
 
Like wow
 
 
Everything feels right
 
 
Baby, baby, baby
 
 
the way I'm feeling you
 
 
Is like wow
 
 
 
 
There is something
 
 
that I see
 
 
In the way
 
 
you look at me
 
 
There's a smile
 
 
There's a truth
 
 
In your eyes
 
 
What an unexpected way
 
 
On this unexpected day
 
 
Could it be
 
 
This is where I belong
 
 
It is you I have loved
 
 
All long
 
 
There's no more mystery
 
 
It is finally clear to me
 
 
You're the home
 
 
my heart's searched for
 
 
So long
 
 
It is you I have loved
 
 
All long
 
 
Whoa, over and over
 
 
I'm filled with emotion
 
 
As I look
 
 
Into your perfect face
 
 
 
Special help by SergeiKn with a song, but begins to sing anyway, cuing a flashback.
 
   
  +
[[File:Greg the Babysitter 197.png|thumb|200px]]
We see a compilation of Greg and [[Rose Quartz|Rose]] having fun when Greg realizes that he needs money. The song ends with him sitting on a road, singing for money. Seeing that he didn't get much money, he goes to [[Vidalia]]'s house. She lets him in and we see her trying to feed her baby, [[Sour Cream]], with mushed-up carrots. Greg comes in and eats cereal. After some small talk with Vidalia, he goes into the living room and starts watching T.V. He watches a commercial for [[Li'l Butler]] on TV which makes him laugh so hard that he spills all the milk on his clothes and Vidalia's couch. The scene cuts to Vidalia and Greg in the washing room and Vidalia offering Greg to wash his shirt. Greg notices the shirt she is wearing, to which Vidalia responds that it is her uniform for her new job at the T-Shirt shop, which starts today. Shortly after that, the telephone rings and Vidalia answers it. After the phone call is over she tells Greg that the babysitter who is supposed to look after Sour Cream canceled and asks him if he could do it to which he agrees. Later, Vidalia goes to work and tells Greg that she will destroy him if something happens to Sour Cream.
 
  +
When he comes back, he notices that Rose and Sour Cream are gone and begins to panic. He runs through [[Beach City]] searching for them with no results. Eventually, he runs into [[Beach City Funland]] and finds Rose. He then notices that Sour Cream is not with her and says to Rose that he thought she was going to watch him. She then replies to him that she watched Sour Cream climb to the top of a Ferris Wheel. Greg panics and hurries to climb the wheel as fast as he can. When he reaches Sour Cream, he notices how high he is, starts getting dizzy, and asks Rose if she could set the wheel in motion in order for the two to get down.
   
  +
[[File:Greg the Babysitter 212.png|thumb|200px|left]]
Greg takes baby Sour Cream to the beach and puts sunscreen and sunglasses on him. Suddenly, Rose comes floating by and is pleasantly surprised by the baby. She asks where the "mini-human" came from and if Greg made it. Greg introduces Sour Cream to Rose and the two show him how to have fun at the beach. The scene cuts to the three lying at the beach and Rose telling Greg that it was hard for her to figure out that Sour Cream and Greg are the same species. She says that she admires humans for the ability to grow up and inventing their own personality while Gems stay the way they are forever, having a reason to exist and knowing who they are going to be. Greg, inspired by her words, wants to write them down for a new song and asks Rose if she could watch over Sour Cream for a while.
 
  +
She pulls a lever that sets the wheel in motion but Greg says it is too fast for him. Rose tries slowing down the Ferris Wheel but breaks the lever which makes the wheel spin even faster. She then angrily smashes the control panel which makes the wheel spin incredibly fast. Rose then tries to hold on to the wheel manually, thereby stopping the Ferris Wheel and sending Greg and Sour Cream flying into the air. Rose rips off one of the gondolas, jumps into the sky, and catches them. Greg checks to make sure Sour Cream is alright before asking Rose why she had let him climb the Ferris Wheel. She responds that he wanted to, and Greg tells her that she should not let Sour Cream do anything he wants. Rose then replies that Greg does what he wants and he is fine. Greg explains that he is not a baby and does not need someone to help him. He then notices that he does need someone to help him and admits that he is a "baby".
   
  +
[[File:Greg the Babysitter 243.png|thumb|200px]]
When he comes back he notices that Rose and Sour Cream are gone and begins to panic. He runs through [[Beach City]] searching for them with no results. Eventually, he runs into [[Beach City Funland]] and finds Rose. He then notices that Sour Cream isn't there and says to Rose that he thought she was going to watch him. She then replies to him that she watched Sour Cream climb to the top of a Ferris Wheel. Greg panics and hurries himself to climb the wheel as fast as he can. He then notices how high he is, starts getting dizzy, and asks Rose if she could set the wheel in motion in-order for the two to get down. She pulls a lever which sets the wheel in motion but Greg says it's too fast for him. Rose tries slowing it down the Ferris wheel but breaks the lever which makes the wheel spin even faster. She then angrily smashes the control booth which makes the wheel spin incredibly fast. Rose then tries to hold on the wheel manually, thereby sending Greg and Sour Cream flying into the air. Rose rips off one of the gondolas, jumps into the sky, and catches them. Rose makes sure Greg is alright just to relieve him about Sour Cream's safety. Greg tells Rose that she shouldn't let Sour Cream do anything he wants. Rose then asks why it is okay for Greg to do everything he wants and he's fine, Greg replies that he isn't a baby and doesn't need someone to help him. He then notices that he does need someone to help him and states that he's a "baby".
 
  +
In the evening, Greg returns Sour Cream to Vidalia and thanks her for her support. He then strolls through Beach City, humming the melody of "[[Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart)|Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)]]". He eventually notices that It's a Wash is searching for new employees. The next day, Greg is seen starting his new job at the car wash, singing a slightly modified version of the aforementioned song. The flashback ends and Greg tells Steven that growing up is something you have to decide to do. Steven then asks what happened to Baby Sour Cream to which Greg replies "No one knows." Sour Cream then walks by, from behind, and the iris closes on his face. 
 
In the evening, Greg returns Sour Cream to Vidalia and thanks her for her support. He then strolls through Beach City, humming the melody of [[Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart)]]. He eventually notices that [[It's a Wash]] is searching for new employees. The next day, we see Greg at his first day of his job, singing a slightly modified version of Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart).
 
 
The flashback ends and we see Greg telling Steven that growing up is something important and something you have to decide to do. Steven then asks what happened to Baby Sour Cream to which Greg replies "No one knows". We then see Sour Cream walking by, ending the episode.
 
   
 
== Features ==
 
== Features ==
Line 3,486: Line 52:
 
* [[Greg's Van]]
 
* [[Greg's Van]]
 
* [[Passions of Xanxor]]
 
* [[Passions of Xanxor]]
  +
* [[Greg's Music Collection]]
  +
** "[[Minor Objects/Media#Nietzche's Breakdown|Nietzche's Breakdown]]"
  +
* Shampoo Plus
  +
* [[Warp Pad]]
  +
* [[Currency]]
  +
 
=== Locations ===
 
=== Locations ===
 
* [[Beach City]]
 
* [[Beach City]]
Line 3,491: Line 63:
 
** [[Onion's House]]
 
** [[Onion's House]]
 
** [[Beach City Funland]]
 
** [[Beach City Funland]]
  +
*** [[Funland Arcade]]
  +
*** Ferris Wheel (debut)
 
** [[Beach Citywalk Fries]]
 
** [[Beach Citywalk Fries]]
  +
** [[Minor Locations#T-Shirt Shop|T-Shirt Shop]] (mentioned)
** [[Funland Arcade]]
 
  +
** [[Crystal Temple]]
   
 
=== Music ===
 
=== Music ===
====Songs====
+
==== Songs ====
 
* "[[I Think I Need a Little (Change)]]"
 
* "[[I Think I Need a Little (Change)]]"
* "[[Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart)]]"
+
* "[[Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart)|Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)]]"
   
====Instrumental Songs====
+
==== Instrumental Songs ====
 
* "[[Rose's Theme]]"
 
* "[[Rose's Theme]]"
   
 
== Trivia ==
 
== Trivia ==
* This episode's name was first revealed in the episode listing on the Cartoon Network website.<ref>[[Season 3|http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/video/steven-universe/episodes/season-2.html]]</ref>
+
* This episode's name was first revealed in the episode listing on the [[Cartoon Network]] website.<ref>[[Season 3|http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/video/steven-universe/episodes/season-2.html]]</ref>
* In the episode, Sour Cream's voice as an infant is unchanged from his voice as a teenager.
 
 
* During the time this episode takes place, Greg sings "Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Wash)" which he would later rename to "Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)".
 
* During the time this episode takes place, Greg sings "Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Wash)" which he would later rename to "Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)".
  +
* In this episode Rose's power to resurrect is hinted by [[Vidalia]], as she said: "if anything bad happens to [her] kid, [he] better pray [[Rose Quartz|his&nbsp;space goddess]]' magic can bring people back from the dead", foreshadowing her power.
 
=== Cultural References ===
 
=== Cultural References ===
* When Greg shouts, "Rose! Get me off this crazy thing!" he is referencing a catchphrase from ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jetsons The Jetsons]'', a 1962 American animated sitcom. In both the original source and this episode's shoutout, a future father is stuck on an out-of-control contraption which outputs rotational force and pleads for his future wife to come to the rescue.
+
* When Greg shouts, "Rose! Get me off this crazy thing!" he is referencing a catchphrase from ''[[Wikipedia:The Jetsons|The Jetsons]]'', a 1962 American animated sitcom. In both the original source and this episode's shoutout, a future father is stuck on an out-of-control contraption which outputs rotational force and pleads for his future wife to come to the rescue.
* Sour Cream's face throughout the whole episode resembled the internet famous Lenny face.
+
* Sour Cream's face throughout the whole episode resembled the internet-famous Lenny face.
* At one point, Greg is playing a game called ''Potato Bros'', which is most likely a reference to the famous ''Mario Bros.'' games.
+
* At one point, Greg is playing a game called ''Potato Bros'', which is most likely a reference to the famous ''[[Wikipedia:Mario Bros.|Mario Bros.]]'' games.
   
 
=== Continuity ===
 
=== Continuity ===
 
* Greg's comment about being unable to tell Steven a story of his past "without working in a song" is a nod to the episodes "[[Story for Steven]]" and "[[We Need to Talk]]", both of which were flashback episodes, and both of which included a musical number.
 
* Greg's comment about being unable to tell Steven a story of his past "without working in a song" is a nod to the episodes "[[Story for Steven]]" and "[[We Need to Talk]]", both of which were flashback episodes, and both of which included a musical number.
* Greg sees the first commercial for ''[[Li'l Butler]]'' on Vidalia's TV, starting his commitment to the show that we've seen previously in "[[Maximum Capacity]]". Likewise, he found the show instantly hilarious.
+
* Greg sees the first commercial for ''[[Li'l Butler]]'' on Vidalia's TV, starting his commitment to the show seen previously in "[[Maximum Capacity]]" after he found it instantly hilarious.
* Rose and Greg are seen reading ''Passions of Xanxor'' together, a book first shown in "Maximum Capacity".
+
* Rose and Greg are seen reading ''[[Passions of Xanxor]]'' together, a book first shown in "Maximum Capacity".
* Greg plays an album of The Philosophy Majors for Rose at the beginning of the flashback, an album first seen in "[[We Need to Talk]]."
+
* Greg plays an [[Minor Objects/Media#Nietzsche's Breakdown|album]] of The Philosophy Majors for Rose at the beginning of the flashback, an album first seen in "We Need to Talk".
  +
* Greg picks up Fry Bits from the trashcan during "I Think I Need A Little (Change)", which later become Steven's favorite fast food.
  +
  +
== Errors ==
  +
: <sup>Note: Time is displayed in [mm:ss]; [00:00] refers to the point after the title card is displayed and before the episode's start.</sup>
  +
  +
=== Plot ===
  +
* [05:28] In the shot after Greg and Rose walk into the ocean, they appear to be completely dry.
   
 
{{Transcript}}
 
{{Transcript}}
Line 3,522: Line 104:
 
== Videos ==
 
== Videos ==
 
<gallery>
 
<gallery>
Sing Me Steven Universe Cartoon Network
 
 
Summer of Steven Week 2 Promos
 
Summer of Steven Week 2 Promos
  +
Sing Me Steven Universe Cartoon Network
 
Greg the Babysitter Steven Universe Cartoon Network
 
Greg the Babysitter Steven Universe Cartoon Network
 
 
</gallery>
 
</gallery>
  +
 
{{Reflist}}
 
{{Reflist}}
 
{{Episodenav}}
 
{{Episodenav}}
   
[[es:Greg the Babysitter]]
+
[[de:Greg, der Babysitter]]
  +
[[es:Greg el Niñero]]
  +
[[fr:Greg le babysitter]]
  +
[[pl:Niańka Greg]]
  +
[[pt-br:Greg Babá]]
 
[[ru:Greg the Babysitter]]
 
[[ru:Greg the Babysitter]]
  +
[[tr:Bebek Bakıcısı Greg]]
[[de:Greg the Babysitter]]
 
[[pt-br:Greg the Babysitter]]
 
 
[[Category:Season 3]]
 
[[Category:Season 3]]
 
[[Category:Episodes]]
 
[[Category:Episodes]]

Revision as of 03:55, 11 January 2020

But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same even moment to moment — you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power — the ability to "grow up."

Rose Quartz


"Greg the Babysitter" is the 16th episode of the third season of Steven Universe and the 94th episode overall.

Official Synopsis

Steven learns the tale of how Greg came to work at the car wash.[3]

Plot

Greg The Babysitter 014

The episode begins with Steven and Greg working at the car wash. Greg is surprised they already had two customers that day and says that the car wash has not been that busy since 15 years ago when a 'mud-nado' struck. Steven is surprised that Greg had this job longer than he has been alive, and asks how Greg got the job in the first place. Greg starts to tell him but Steven interrupts him, gets the guitar, and tells Greg to sing him the story. Greg makes a remark about how all his stories have always begun with a song but begins to sing anyway, cueing a flashback.

Greg The Babysitter 080

A flashback compilation of Greg and Rose having fun is seen until Greg realizes that he needs money. The song ends with him sitting on a road, singing for money. Seeing that he did not get much money, he goes to Vidalia's house. She lets him in and she is seen trying to feed her baby, Sour Cream, mushed-up carrots. Greg comes in and eats cereal. After some small talk with Vidalia, he goes into the living room and starts watching TV. He watches one of the first commercials of Li'l Butler on TV which makes him laugh so hard that he spills all the milk on his clothes and Vidalia's couch. The scene cuts to Vidalia and Greg in the washing room and Vidalia offering Greg to wash his shirt. Greg notices the shirt she is wearing, to which Vidalia responds that it is her uniform for her new job at the T-Shirt Shop, which starts today. Shortly after that, the telephone rings and Vidalia answers it. After the phone call is over she tells Greg that the babysitter who was supposed to look after Sour Cream canceled and asks him if he could do it to which he agrees. Later, Vidalia goes to work and tells Greg that she will destroy him if something happens to Sour Cream.

Greg the Babysitter 136

Greg takes baby Sour Cream to the beach, putting sunscreen and sunglasses on him. Suddenly, Rose comes floating by and is pleasantly surprised by the baby. She asks where the "mini-human" came from and if Greg made it. Greg introduces Sour Cream to Rose and the two show him how to have fun at the beach. Later, the three are lying at the beach and Rose tells Greg that it took her a long time for her to figure out that human infants and adults are the same species. She says that she admires humans for their ability to grow up and invent their own personality. She contrasts them to Gems, who are made for a reason, know what they are supposed to be when they are created, and stay the way they are forever. Greg, inspired by her words, wants to write them down for a new song and asks Rose if she could watch over Sour Cream for a while.

Greg the Babysitter 197

When he comes back, he notices that Rose and Sour Cream are gone and begins to panic. He runs through Beach City searching for them with no results. Eventually, he runs into Beach City Funland and finds Rose. He then notices that Sour Cream is not with her and says to Rose that he thought she was going to watch him. She then replies to him that she watched Sour Cream climb to the top of a Ferris Wheel. Greg panics and hurries to climb the wheel as fast as he can. When he reaches Sour Cream, he notices how high he is, starts getting dizzy, and asks Rose if she could set the wheel in motion in order for the two to get down.

Greg the Babysitter 212

She pulls a lever that sets the wheel in motion but Greg says it is too fast for him. Rose tries slowing down the Ferris Wheel but breaks the lever which makes the wheel spin even faster. She then angrily smashes the control panel which makes the wheel spin incredibly fast. Rose then tries to hold on to the wheel manually, thereby stopping the Ferris Wheel and sending Greg and Sour Cream flying into the air. Rose rips off one of the gondolas, jumps into the sky, and catches them. Greg checks to make sure Sour Cream is alright before asking Rose why she had let him climb the Ferris Wheel. She responds that he wanted to, and Greg tells her that she should not let Sour Cream do anything he wants. Rose then replies that Greg does what he wants and he is fine. Greg explains that he is not a baby and does not need someone to help him. He then notices that he does need someone to help him and admits that he is a "baby".

Greg the Babysitter 243

In the evening, Greg returns Sour Cream to Vidalia and thanks her for her support. He then strolls through Beach City, humming the melody of "Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)". He eventually notices that It's a Wash is searching for new employees. The next day, Greg is seen starting his new job at the car wash, singing a slightly modified version of the aforementioned song. The flashback ends and Greg tells Steven that growing up is something you have to decide to do. Steven then asks what happened to Baby Sour Cream to which Greg replies "No one knows." Sour Cream then walks by, from behind, and the iris closes on his face. 

Features

Characters

Objects

Locations

Music

Songs

Instrumental Songs

Trivia

  • This episode's name was first revealed in the episode listing on the Cartoon Network website.[4]
  • During the time this episode takes place, Greg sings "Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Wash)" which he would later rename to "Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)".
  • In this episode Rose's power to resurrect is hinted by Vidalia, as she said: "if anything bad happens to [her] kid, [he] better pray his space goddess' magic can bring people back from the dead", foreshadowing her power.

Cultural References

  • When Greg shouts, "Rose! Get me off this crazy thing!" he is referencing a catchphrase from The Jetsons, a 1962 American animated sitcom. In both the original source and this episode's shoutout, a future father is stuck on an out-of-control contraption which outputs rotational force and pleads for his future wife to come to the rescue.
  • Sour Cream's face throughout the whole episode resembled the internet-famous Lenny face.
  • At one point, Greg is playing a game called Potato Bros, which is most likely a reference to the famous Mario Bros. games.

Continuity

  • Greg's comment about being unable to tell Steven a story of his past "without working in a song" is a nod to the episodes "Story for Steven" and "We Need to Talk", both of which were flashback episodes, and both of which included a musical number.
  • Greg sees the first commercial for Li'l Butler on Vidalia's TV, starting his commitment to the show seen previously in "Maximum Capacity" after he found it instantly hilarious.
  • Rose and Greg are seen reading Passions of Xanxor together, a book first shown in "Maximum Capacity".
  • Greg plays an album of The Philosophy Majors for Rose at the beginning of the flashback, an album first seen in "We Need to Talk".
  • Greg picks up Fry Bits from the trashcan during "I Think I Need A Little (Change)", which later become Steven's favorite fast food.

Errors

Note: Time is displayed in [mm:ss]; [00:00] refers to the point after the title card is displayed and before the episode's start.

Plot

  • [05:28] In the shot after Greg and Rose walk into the ocean, they appear to be completely dry.

Transcript

View the episode's transcript here.

Gallery

New Gallery

Click to view the gallery for Greg the Babysitter.

Videos

References

ve Episode List
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been Great/Message ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Steven Universe Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time