Speaker
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Dialogue
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[Open Ext. The Barn]
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(The scene follows the events in "Barn Mates", when a hatch opens from the crashed Roaming Eye in the ground and a one-eyed Ruby emerges out of it. Steven, Lapis, Peridot and the Crystal Gems all gasp as the Ruby starts looking around.)
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Steven
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Ruby? Whoa-?
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(Garnet grabs the back of Steven's shirt and pulls him away. Everyone retreat back inside the barn as "Eyeball" lands on the ground, growls, and walks away. Another "Army" jumps out of the hatch and begins making fighting noises and poses.)
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"Army"
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*picks up a flower and kicks it* Hi-ya! *cartwheels away*
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"Navy"
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*pops out and gasps with excitement* What a lovely planet! *walks away happily*
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"Leggy"
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* sticks her head out nervously* Wait! So we just... get out and walk around? Whoa-!
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("Leggy" gets shoved out of the Eye by "Doc". In the background, "Army" can be seen kicking a twig.)
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"Doc"
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Now, where's the Gem the scanners locked on to? *looks around* Let's fan out and search the area!
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(Steven peeks out of the door from inside the barn to look at the five Rubies from Homeworld.)
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Steven
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Whoa, look at 'em all!
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Peridot
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*peeks over too, on top of Steven* I knew it. They're after me! This is THE END of the line!
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Lapis
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You really weren't kidding.
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Peridot
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I disobeyed a direct order from Yellow Diamond, and I called her a clod... to her face.
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Pearl
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Oh, honestly, you call everyone a clod.
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Peridot
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Yes, but not everyone has command over all the armies of Homeworld waiting for the word to shatter me!
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(Peridot scampers to a box of baseball equipment, dumps out the contents and hides inside the box.)
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Steven
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Peridot, we won't let them get you. *lifts up the box*
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Peridot
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But haven't I caused you enough trouble?
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Garnet
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Don't worry, Peridot. It's our sworn duty to protect anything that calls this planet home. And that includes... clods like you.
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Peridot
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*whispering* That's my word...
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Garnet
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Listen up, everyone. I have a plan. Or should I say... We have a plan.
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(Garnet holds up her hands and giggles. She then begins to unfuse, separating into Ruby and Sapphire, holding hands with each other.)
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Sapphire
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Hello everyone.
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Pearl & Amethyst
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Ruby! Sapphire!
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Steven
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HUUUGS! *Runs up to Ruby and Sapphire and hugs them.*
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Sapphire
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Hello, Steven! *giggles*
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Amethyst
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So, what's the plan?
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Sapphire
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*turns to Ruby* You got this. Just act casual. *kisses Ruby on the cheek*
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Ruby
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Yeah. *bumps her fist against her palm* Casual.
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[Trans. Ext. the Barn]
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(Ruby starts walking awkwardly towards the Homeworld Rubies, who are gathered and chattering among themselves, with "Doc" is standing on top of the Roaming Eye.)
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"Doc"
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Focus, Rubies! This is an important mission from Yellow Diamond, so we can't mess it up.
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(Ruby slides up next to "Navy" and begins conversing with them nervously.)
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Ruby
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Eh, hey, hey! Uh... What are we all doing over here?
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(The Homeworld Rubies glance at Ruby in great suspicion.)
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"Leggy"
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*raises her hand* Yeah, what ARE we all doing here?
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"Doc"
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We're here to retrieve the leader of the Earth mission! *raises an eyebrow* Hey, wait a second. It seems like there are more of us... than usual!
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"Navy"
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There's supposed to be five of us.
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"Army"
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*holds up her palm and clenches it* Five Rubies!
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("Eyeball" and "Leggy" look at their hands. "Eyeball" nods. "Doc" starts counting off the Rubies, except herself.)
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"Doc"
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One, two, three, four, five! Tch, never mind.
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(Ruby sighs in relief.)
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"Doc"
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The leader of the Earth mission must be around here somewhere.
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Ruby
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*nervously* Well, she's definitely not in that barn! *points at the barn, forcing a poker face*
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"Doc"
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Whoa, I didn't see that before. Maybe we SHOULD look around in there.
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Ruby
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*raises her hands in panic* Uh, I'll go! By myself! *runs away groaning*
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"Navy"
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Ba-Byee!
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[Trans. Int. the Barn]
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(Ruby stands at the doorway, sweating anxiously.)
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Ruby
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They want to search the barn!
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Steven
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We heard.
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Pearl
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We saw.
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Peridot
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*fearfully* So I'm scared!
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Amethyst
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*holds up a baseball bat* Let's ambush them!
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Sapphire
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No. No one needs to get hurt. Let's be sensible.
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Ruby
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What do I do? *starts biting her fingers in panic*
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Sapphire
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Just go out there and tell them this is a place where humans live.
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Ruby
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*sighs* I don't wanna go alone...
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Steven
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Oh! I'll come. I'll be your backup.
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Amethyst
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*hands Steven the baseball bat* And here's some backup for your backup.
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[Trans. Ext. the Barn]
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(Ruby returns back to the Homeworld Rubies, carrying Steven with him.)
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Ruby
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*plants Steven down and speaks nervously* I checked the barn, and I just found a bunch of humans! Hah!
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Steven
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*nods transparently* Yup! Nothing in there but us humans!
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"Doc"
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*gets skeptical* Really?
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Ruby
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*nervously* Looks like we failed...! Time to go back home! Hah...!
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"Doc"
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I think we better double-check. You remember what happened last time.
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Ruby
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*confused* Last time?
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(The Homeworld Rubies, except for "Doc" and "Leggy", begin laughing.)
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"Navy"
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Oh, Ruby, you're so forgetful!
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"Doc"
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Alright, let's search the barn! *adjusts her visor*
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Homeworld Rubies
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Yes, Ruby!
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Ruby
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Wait! *nervously* You can't, beca-because... *glances at Steven* Uh...
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Steven
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You have to... uh... play baseball!
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(The Homeworld Rubies look at each other.)
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Steven
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Yeah! It's a human thing. I-If you win, you can go inside, and if you lose, you... gotta leave forever.
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"Doc"
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*eyes narrowed* Base... ball.
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[Trans. Int. the Barn]
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(Ruby and Steven return back to the barn to announce to the Gems the change of plan, while Lapis stands away from the ground, leaning against a ladder.)
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Peridot, Amethyst, Pearl, & Sapphire
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Baseball!?
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(Steven grins delightfully while Ruby facepalms.)
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Sapphire
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I... saw that this was a possibility, though I am surprised that this is the path we're taking.
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Steven
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*blows a whistle* Alright. My human baseball knowledge will lead us to victory. Let's just go out there and pretend to be humans. Except Peridot. You stay here in the barn and hide.
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Peridot
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O...kay.
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Steven
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Everybody in? *glances at Lapis* Lapis?
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Lapis
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*chuckles* This plan sucks.
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[Trans. Ext. the Barn]
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(Steven, Pearl, Amethyst, Lapis, and Sapphire, all wearing baseball clothes, stand in a line against the Homeworld Rubies, including Ruby herself. Everyone then begins introducing themselves one by one)
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Steven
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We're the Humans! Steven!
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Pearl
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Earl!
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Amethyst
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Amy!
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Lapis
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Bob.
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Sapphire
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*blushing* And Sophie.
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(Ruby also blushes at Sapphire's appearance, and begins sweating nervously again.)
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"Doc"
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Understood. Our team is the Rubies! Consisting of... Ruby!
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Ruby
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Ruby!
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"Navy"
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Ruby!
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"Army"
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Ruby!
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"Eyeball"
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Ruby.
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"Leggy"
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And Ruby!
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Steven
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Here's the rules of the game. We take turns throwing the ball at each other. The batter tries to hit the ball with the bat, and then they run around the bases. Whoever gets the most runs wins.
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(Steven uses the diamond formation caused by the crashed Roaming Eye as the baseball field, with the Eye being in the center mould. The "Humans" plays defensive first, with Steven as the pitcher, Amethyst as the catcher and the other Gems as infielders. Ruby, being on the offensive team, becomes the first batter. She readies her bat and winks at Steven. Steven winks back.
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Steven
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You get three tries to hit the ball. If you miss...
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(Steven throws the ball and Ruby purposefully misses it. Amethyst then catches the ball.
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Amethyst
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Striiiike one!
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"Army"
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What?!
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(Steven tosses the ball again, and Ruby misses again.)
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Amethyst
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Striiike two!
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(Steven tosses the ball the third time, and again, Ruby misses.)
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Amethyst
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Strike three!
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Steven
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Three strikes, and you're out!
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Ruby
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Oh, darn! *chuckles* Guess I'm out.
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(Sapphire waves at Ruby and she blushes. "Army" then leaps in and punches Ruby in the back.)
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"Army"
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You swung too slow! *picks up the bat, as Ruby runs off* Do it like this.
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(Steven throws the ball and "Army" hits it so hard that it flies into the skies and out of the field. "Army" then easily runs around the bases and back to the home plate.)
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Steven
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And that's called a "home run".
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(The "Humans" continues to play defensive while Steven keeps explaining the rules.)
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Steven
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If the ball gets caught, you're out!
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(Pearl efficiently catches a ball hit by "Navy" by sliding at it.)
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Steven
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And if you get tagged, you're out!
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(Steven catches the ball at a base and tags "Eyeball" as she runs over. She then growls angrily at Steven.)
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Steven
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Uhhh... *backs away in fright* And after three outs, we switch sides!
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(The teams switch sides, with the "Humans" on the offensive and the Rubies on the defensive. Amethyst is batting while chewing gum and "Doc" is pitching. "Doc" throws the ball, as soon as Amethyst's gum bubble pops, she hits the ball and it goes flying out of the field. She then spin-dashes around the bases and slides onto a home plate with a pose.)
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Pearl
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(*enthusiastically* Nice!
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"Leggy"
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Wow! That purple human is really good!
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Steven
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*chuckles nervously* Us humans, we're full of surprises. *pushes Amethyst away while whispering to her* Amethyst be careful.
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(Sapphire then runs into the field as the batter.)
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Sapphire
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Heeeeey Ruby *giggles*
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("Doc" throws the ball and Sapphire misses it.)
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"Doc"
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Strike ONE!
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Steven
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Huh?
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(Steven, Pearl and Amethyst turns to look towards Ruby and Sapphire.)
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Ruby
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Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
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Sapphire
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I don't know. I don't get off planet much.
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(Ruby and Sapphire start laughing together as "Doc" pitches the ball right into Ruby's glove. Steven, Pearl and Amethyst watch on in confusion.)
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"Doc"
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Strike TWO!!
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Steven
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What's going on? What are they doing?
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Lapis
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*walks in, in a monotone voice* Flirting.
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Pearl
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*worried* Uh-oh...
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"Doc"
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Strike THREE!!!
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Ruby & Sapphire
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Uhhhh...
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(Ruby and Sapphire look at the rest with embarrassment. Steven facepalms and Lapis gives a deadpan thumbs-up. The game continues with the Rubies on the offensive again. "Eyeball", being the batter, successfully hits the ball, and Lapis easily catches it by moving just a tiny step to the left. Ruby is the next batter, while "Doc", at the third base, yells at her to concentrate. Ruby then sees Sapphire cheering out at her and accidentally hits the ball, allowing "Doc" to run to the home plate and score.)
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Steven
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*whisper-shouting* What!?
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(Ruby blushes in embarrassment as the Rubies gather around her in excitement.)
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"Army"
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YEAHH!! *flexes in happiness*
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(The game goes on with the "Humans" on the offensive, each taking turns to bat. When it's Lapis' turn to bat, she just holds her bat straight over the plate, letting the ball bounce off it and onto the plate. She then throws away the bat and walks unenthusiastically to the first base, as the Homeworld Rubies tackle and pile on top of the ball. Throughout the game, Ruby and Sapphire continuously flirt with each other and throwing off the game. The "Human" and the Rubies keep playing against each other, until one of the Homeworld Rubies shatters the bat while hitting the ball. Steven then runs back into the barn to retrieve another bat.)
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Peridot
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Hey, how's it going? Are we winning?
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Steven
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Ummm... *chuckles nervously*
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(Steven then sees Ruby instruction and giving Sapphire on how to bat properly.)
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Ruby
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Now, what you want to do is lead with your hips. (Sapphire swings the bat) Yeah. That's pretty good. Let me show you again.
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("Eyeball" watches Ruby and Sapphire, and then glances towards Steven.)
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Steven
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Well, haha... *hesitates* We're doing just fine. Everything's gonna be A-Okay. *marches nervously back to the field*
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Peridot
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You're lying to me!
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Steven
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To make you feel better!
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Peridot
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Thank you!
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(The game eventually comes to the final match, with the scoreboard showing that the Rubies have 7 points, while the "Humans" have 6 points.)
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Steven
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Alright, it's the bottom of the ninth. We've got Lapis on second, but one more out and the game's over for us. We need to hit a home run.
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(Steven, Pearl and Amethyst then see Sapphire, as a batter, still flirting with Ruby.)
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Steven
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Wait! I call a timeout! runs up in between Ruby and Sapphire* Listen, you two, I know it's hard being separated, but we have to keep them out of the barn or they're gonna find Peridot. Remember?! Ruby, stop being cute, and Sapphire, keep your eye on the ball!
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Ruby
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Pun...intended?
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Steven
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*snaps his fingers and glares at Ruby* What did I just say?
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(The match continues. "Doc" pitches the ball, Sapphire swings the bat but she misses the hit.)
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"Doc"
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Strike one!
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(Steven, Pearl, Amethyst and Peridot watch on in worry as the Rubies remain confident.)
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Ruby
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Come on, I know you can do it.
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Sapphire
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Hmmm...
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("Doc" pitches, Sapphire swings again with Ruby's encouragement, but fails to hit the ball again.)
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"Doc"
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Strike two!
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Ruby
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Just look at the ball.
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Sapphire
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I'm trying, but all I want to look at is you.
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Ruby
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Don't worry, you can look at me when you're running for home.
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(Sapphire smiles at Ruby, filled with determination. "Doc" lights the ball on fire and throws it at high speed towards Sapphire. Sapphire screams loudly and swings the bat, making impact with the ball. Everyone gasps as Sapphire tries to withdraw against the force of the ball. Sapphire then freezes the entire bat and whacks the ball away, scoring a glorious home run. Ruby starts cheering as Sapphire begins running around the bases while Lapis walks casually.)
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Steven
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YEAH!
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(Lapis returns back to home plate and gives Ruby a high-five. "Army" throws her glove on the ground in fury, as Sapphire continues to run towards Ruby.)
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Ruby
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*holds her arms out* COME TO ME!
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(Ruby and Sapphire start laughing together and Sapphire jumps into Ruby's arms. They collide into each other and tumble on the ground. Steven and the others watch in shock as the two accidentally fuse back into Garnet.)
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Garnet
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Hahaha...! Ha... *stops* Whoops.
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"Doc"
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They're GEMS!
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"Army"
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We've been tricked!
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"Navy"
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What a turn of events.
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("Eyeball" growls.)
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"Leggy"
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*confused* Huh? W-what?
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(Steven and the other join Garnet's side.)
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Garnet
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Sorry, guys. Game is over.
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"Doc"
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THAT'S IT! RUBIES... COMBINE!!!
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(The Homeworld Rubies join together and fuse into a single giant Ruby. She then roars loudly and glares menacingly at the Crystal Gems.)
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Peridot
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WAAAIT! *runs out of the barn* Oooh, wait! Stop! Don't hurt them! Oof! *falls to her face, falls again getting up, and scampers over* Wait. Oh, please, please! It's me you're after right? I'm not gonna stand by and let my friends fight my battles!
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Steven
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Awww, Peri loves us!
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Giant Ruby
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Are you the Peridot assigned to the failed Earth mission?
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Peridot
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Not sure if "failed" would be the right word to-
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Giant Ruby
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Where is Jasper?
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Peridot
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You're looking for...Jasper?
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Giant Ruby
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Correct.
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Peridot
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Wait, but I'm the one who betrayed the mission, who called Yellow Diamond a clod; the new leader of the Crystal Gems?
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Pearl
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What?
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Giant Ruby
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Tell us where Jasper is NOW!
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Peridot
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Jasper umm... *looks at Pearl, who shakes her head* we know where Jasper is.
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Giant Ruby
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WELL?!
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Peridot
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Uhhhh....
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Steven
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*barges in* Neptune! She's on the planet Neptune! *points to the sky*
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(Everyone remain silent as they glare at one another.)
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Giant Ruby
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... Well, why didn't you say so?
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(Steven sighs in relief, as the Giant Ruby unfuses.)
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"Doc"
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We all here? One, two, three, four, and... ha! *points to herself* Five. To the planet Neptune!
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"Army"
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Let's move out, soldiers!
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"Navy"
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What a lovely-sounding planet.
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"Leggy"
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But we just... got here.
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"Doc"
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Let's go, newbie!
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("Doc" drags "Leggy" away. "Eyeball" then glares at Steven anxiously.)
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"Eyeball"
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*in a strained voice* Thank you. *walks off*
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(The Homeworld Rubies return back inside the Roaming Eye. The Eye then pops out of the ground, a small black cloud appears above it, and the ship warps away.)
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Amethyst
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Man, Rubies are dumb.
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(The star iris then closes in on Garnet's face, as she smiles.)
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Garnet
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Not all of them.
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[END]
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