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This is a transcribed copy of "Horror Club". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "On the Run" Next: "Winter Forecast"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. Big Donut]
(It is already late at night, Sadie and Lars are closing up the Big Donut for the night. Lars first exits through the back door ahead of Sadie, playing with the keys at the door lock.)
Lars *teasingly* Saaaaa-dieee!~ Better hurry up, I'm gonna lock you in!
Sadie *from inside* Hey, just a sec!
(Lars leans against the wall to wait for Sadie, when he looks down and get startled by the sudden appearance of Steven in front of him.)
Steven Don't be too scared. It's just me. *leans on the wall besides Lars* I'm on my way over to a spooky-movie party. You want to come?
Lars Party? ... Who's throwing it?
Steven Ronaldo, the French Fryman.
Lars Ugh! That social napalm? Do what you want, man, I got better things to do than wax weird with Beach City's biggest bozo... *mockingly* Ronaldo.
Sadie *exits the Big Donut* Ah, okay. Oh, ha! Nice timing, Steven. Hey, should we head over to Ronaldo's?
Steven Yeah! Imma get so scared! *hugs Sadie*
Sadie *laughs* Night, Lars. *waves*
Steven Nighty-night! *walks away with Sadie*
Lars *runs after them* Hey, wait up! *returns quickly to lock the door, and runs back to Sadie and Steven* So, where's this thing at?
Steven *pointing* It's right up there.
[Trans. Ext. The Lighthouse]
(Steven, Sadie and Lars climbs the hill towards the Lighthouse, decorated with scarecrows outside. Steven knocks on the door and Ronaldo, wearing a mask and costume, opens the door.)
Steven *knocking*
Ronaldo Steeeeeveeeeen...! *speaks dramatically* Welcome to my Beach City horror club! *laughs maniacally*
Lars *laughs aloud* More like comedy club. *continues to laugh*
Ronaldo Lars?! *accidentally drops his mask on ground, and it breaks* Oh! What are you doing here?! Um... *clears the doorway* C-C-Come in.
Lars *elbows Sadie, still laughing* I'm scared already.
Sadie Ronaldo, right? Yeah. I'm Sadie. *goes to shakes Ronaldo's hand* Nice to finally officially meet you.
(Sadie and Lars step past Ronaldo into the Lighthouse. Lars suddenly turns around and shouts a single "Boo!", startling Ronaldo. He laughs again as he walks back into the Lighthouse. Steven is about to step inside when Ronaldo halts him.)
Ronaldo Steven, you're friends with Lars?
Steven Yeah, isn't everybody?
Ronaldo *breathes deeply and stomps inside* Oh, boy!
Steven Yeah! *closes the door behind him*
[Trans. Int. The Lighthouse]
(Inside the lantern room of the Lighthouse, Steven, Sadie and Lars are seated in front of a big TV.)
Ronaldo Our first film tonight is a rare classic that hardly needs introduction; *holds up a movie cover box* "Evil Bear 2: Bearly Alive"!
Lars What?! I've seen that! It's boring! And that stupid fake C.G. bear! Hardly looks like it's really killing anybody.
Ronaldo C.G.?! Blasphemer! *inches towards Lars* You saw the remake! I have the original. A true fan would accept nothing less.
Lars Whoa, man, take it down a notch. (Ronaldo covers his face in embarrassment.)
Sadie Whoa, wait. How did you get a copy of that? Can I see the box? (Ronaldo walks over and presents the cover box.) Woah! In this cut, you actually see Evil Bear eat the hermit's leg. Ho! Oh, is this gonna be a bit much for him?
Steven I can handle it!
[Time-Skip— Later that night]
(Steven watches the movie, unfazed as bear growling and woman screaming are heard, when Ronaldo peeks over and reveals that Steven is just sitting behind the couch.)
Ronaldo Yo, Steven, are you sure you can see with the couch in your way?
Movie Hermit Man You're... eating my... leg!
(Steven cowers in fright as more screaming and the bear's evil laughter are heard.)
Ronaldo Oh, did I miss the part where you can see the sound guy?
(The power in the Lighthouse suddenly goes out, turning off the TV.)
Lars Hey, it was just getting good!
Sadie What's going on?
Lars Probably just a fuse.
Ronaldo *shines a flashlight on his face* Or maybe it's a gho-o-st?
Sadie *chuckles and nervously smiles* Good one.
Ronaldo *hands another flashlight to Sadie* No, really. What if it's a gho-o-o-o-st? *rummages through his cabinet of files* As a skeptic of mortality, I've long suspected that this place might be haunted. *pulls out a pendulum* Aha! Spirit, I beseech you!
Lars Dude, cut it out. You're being super weird.
(Sadie and Steven gather around Ronaldo's pendulum, as Sadie shines her flashlight on it.)
Ronaldo We wish to make contact. Please, spirit, send us a sign.
(The pendulum begins to swing around on its own accord, shoots off of Ronaldo's hands and hits Lars in his face.)
Ronaldo Woah!
Lars Ow!
Ronaldo Spirit, that was a good sign. But could you send a couple more like that just to be sure?
(Indistinct whispering are heard. The drawers of the cabinet suddenly burst open and files come flying out, swirling in circles above Ronaldo, Steven, Sadie and Lars. Everyone screams in shock.)
Ronaldo That's— That's okay, spirit, you can rein it in a little!
(A cup of coffee flies in and smashes in front of the group.)
Sadie How is this happening?!
Steven This... is amazing! A real-life haunted house! Ah!
(A barrel smashes to the ground next to Steven, barely misses him as he jumps into Ronaldo's arms. Another cup of coffee hovers in the air and flies towards Lars.)
Sadie Look out! *tackles Lars down, and the coffee cup misses him* Let's get out of here!
(The group runs towards the door, but it suddenly slams shut. Ronaldo pulls on the door knob with no luck.)
Ronaldo It won't open!
(The group then slams themselves through the door, successfully breaking it and exiting the lantern room. The door then mends itself from the broken pieces.)
Ronaldo I'm so sorry! I had no idea there was this violent of a presence here.
Steven It happens.
Lars No, it doesn't! It's not a ghost!
Sadie Who cares what it is? We need to get out of here!
(The group starts descending down the spiraling staircase of the Lighthouse.)
Ronaldo You know, I deal with this kind of stuff on a regular basis, but, uh, you, uh, looked pretty cool back there.
Sadie Yeah?
Ronaldo Yeah. You really took charge.
Sadie When stuff gets hairy, I just keep my eyes forward, you know.
Ronaldo Once the civilians are safe, I'm gonna come back to investigate, if you wanted to help.
(Ronaldo and Sadie chuckle together, and Steven notices Lars getting unrest.)
Steven Something wrong, Lars?
Lars *covers Steven's mouth with both hands* Oh, shh!
(Eerie laughter of children is suddenly heard.)
Sadie What is that?
Lars Oh, it's nothing! We're all just hearing things and seeing things and feeling things that aren't real.
(Lars runs ahead towards the front door, when it suddenly swings open and smashes him in the face, knocking him backwards. The scarecrows outside are now animated and creeping towards the group. Sadie and Ronaldo quickly lean themselves against the door, attempting to force it closed from the scarecrows. A few bats and a scarecrow manage to slip through the door, and they begin to attack Lars. Steven manages to pry the scarecrow and bats away from Lars and tosses them out the door, which Sadie and Ronaldo finally manage to shut afterwards.)
Sadie Have you ever seen a haunting this bad?
Ronaldo This is no run-of-the-mill haunting. *shines his flashlight onto his own face* It's a poltergeist. A "ghost" only haunts a house. A poltergeist haunts a person. They're usually attracted to the terrifying inner world of the emotionally disturbed. *shines his flashlight onto Lars*
Lars *sweats nervously, then walks forwards angrily* You think stuff is coming after me?! How can you listen to this weird guy?! He practically lives in a haunted house! Don't you think maybe he had something to do with it?
Steven I think you can stop being such a dink to Ronaldo!
Lars *groans in frustration and runs toward Sadie* Sadie, you're not an idiot!
Steven & Ronaldo Hey!
Lars *grabs Sadie by her shoulder* Do you believe all of this?!
Sadie I...
Lars All this stuff: they've gotta be doing it somehow. We've gotta ditch these guys, come on.
(Sadie furiously backs away from Lars.)
Sadie *crosses her arms* I'm not ditching anyone.
Lars But what about me, huh?! Sadie, c'mon, you'll always know!
(The floorboards suddenly open up underneath Sadie, revealing a glowing red void, and Sadie falls into it, screaming. Lars tries to rush forwards to save her but the floorboards close up, swallowing Sadie as her screams fade away, leaving just her flashlight behind.)
Lars Sadie?
Ronaldo The spirit took her! *turns to Lars* You're gonna drag us all down with you! Don't you even care?
Sadie *distantly and weakly* Laaars...
(A hatch on the floor suddenly opens up.)
Ronaldo The basement!
[Trans. Int. Basement of Lighthouse]
(The trio descends into the basement, which is illuminated by the eerie red glow.)
Lars I don't see her anywhere!
Ronaldo Spirit, show yourself!
Steven It's close. *places his hand on the lighthouse structure* I can feel it. It's hurting and... obsessed.
(Ronaldo shines his flashlight to a wall, and the trio notices a pulsing flesh-like structure with Lars' name carved into it.)
Lars *shudders* Ahh...
Ronaldo It should have been you.
Lars Wh-What?!
Ronaldo It took her, but it should have been you, Lars!
Steven Whoa! Hold on, Ronaldo!
Spirit *eerily* Laaarrrrsssss.
(A mouth opens up in the wall below the pulsing flesh. Ronaldo grapples Lars and starts dragging him towards it.)
Lars Hey, let go!
Steven *runs in front of Ronaldo* Wait, stop! What are you doing?!
(Ronaldo lifts Lars above his head, causing him to scream in fear.)
Ronaldo Spirit, I deliver the package of darkness! Return to us the innocent Sadie!
Spirit Laaarrrrsssss!
Lars C-Come on, man! We used to be friends!
Ronaldo And you threw me away! *throws Lars into the mouth*
Steven Lars! *runs towards Lars and into the mouth*
Ronaldo No, Steven, he's not worth it!
Lars Why does everything bad happen to me?!
(The mouth pins Steven and Lars down with its tongue. Its teeth begin to slowly come down in an attempt to sever Steven and Lars in half. Ronaldo watches in horror, when Steven summons his bubble shield, protecting himself and Lars. He then expands the bubble, causing the mouth to stretch and explode. The bubble rolls Steven and Lars away to safety before popping. Sadie then emerges from the rubble of the wall, coughing and gasping, along with a Gemstone.)
Steven, Ronaldo & Lars Sadie!
Steven *holds up the gem* It's a gem.
(The gem starts to glow, enveloping the place in a bright light, and begins to project a holographic flashback of a younger Lars and Ronaldo.)
Young Ronaldo This is the perfect clubhouse for the Beach City Explorer Club! *laughs*
Young Lars Secret clubhouse, right, Ronnie? *makes mouth zipping motions* Zip!
(The group watches the holograph, as Steven laughs and Lars groans.)
Young Ronaldo Lars, you're a riot!
(Young Ronaldo is playing with a camera, when he is startled by some scraping noises.)
Young Ronaldo Dude!
Young Lars *etching his name into the wall with a screwdriver* Just carving our names in. Pretty metal, huh?
(Young Lars sticks the screwdriver into the wall, causing the whole place to rumble.
Young Ronaldo Weird...
(A wooden board from the wall then springs outwards and knocks Young Lars away. Young Ronaldo quickly snaps a photo of it.)
Young Ronaldo Holy smokes! The clubhouse is possessed! *runs over to Lars and shows him the photo* Lars, Lars, when you turn on the TV tomorrow, this is what's gonna be on every station!
Young Lars *sweating nervously* B-B-But— But you said this was secret.
Young Ronaldo Our first paranormal discovery! We're gonna take on the world together!
Young Lars Um... Let me just... Uh, I'll just, uh... *begins tearing the photo into pieces*
Young Ronaldo *gasps* No! What are you doing?! No-no-no-no-no-no!
Young Lars I'm just tearing myself out.
Young Ronaldo Stop! *grabs Lars and reaches for the remains of the photo* Let me... see! *yanks Lars' arm down and retrieves the torn photo* What'd you do? Ohh!
Young Lars Oh, come on, Ronnie... You know I can't let people see me like that.
Young Ronaldo What?! What's the matter with you?! *shoves Lars* Don't you know how important this was?!
(Young Lars and Young Ronaldo begin wrestling one another. Young Lars then steps on Young Ronaldo's foot and starts running away.)
Young Ronaldo Aah! Why do you care so much about what other people think?!
Young Lars *tearing up* You wouldn't say that if you knew what other people say about YOU!
(As the group watches, Ronaldo is visibly angry while Lars cowers in shame. Young Lars runs away and disappears in the flashback)
Young Ronaldo Lars?
(Young Ronaldo vanishes too, and the projection ends.)
Steven Aah! *starts speaking to the gem* Okay, shh. I've got you. When you were stuck in the wall, was the house like your body? You must have felt like you were under attack back when Lars carved his name in you.
Ronaldo Can I see that?
Steven Uh, sorry. We should let it rest. *bubbles the gem and sends it away to The Burning Room*
Sadie So, all that lashing out was just from feeling hurt and trapped for so long.
Lars I didn't mean to rip it up, okay? *looks away* You can stop talking about me now.
Ronaldo Wait! Oh, Sadie, are you okay?
Sadie Uh, yeah. I'm fine.
Lars Oh, yeah. *chuckles* We were both worried about— I mean, I ran down here faster.
Sadie *pause* Can we get out of here?
Steven Sadie, you can come with me. I think these two have a lot to talk about.
Sadie I bet. *walks away with Steven*
Ronaldo I wasn't trying to make you look bad.
Lars *hastily tries to leave* Ahhh, whatever, It didn't matter, I don't care!
Ronaldo Hey, Lars. Take it down a notch.
(The star iris begins zooming in on Lars' annoyed/embarrassed face.)
Lars *blushes* Aah!

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus