| This is a transcribed copy of Horror Club. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
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[Open behind the Big Donut]
[Insects are heard as a door creaks]
Lars: *about to lock the back door of the Big Donut as he teasingly tells Sadie to come out* Saaaaa-dieee, better hurry up! I'm gonna lock you in!
Sadie: *muffled* Just a sec!
Lars: *leans against wall before looking down and noticing something* Aah!
Steven: Don't be too scared. It's just me. I'm on my way over to a spooky-movie party. You want to come?
Lars: Party? Who's throwing it?
Steven: Ronaldo, the French Fryman.
Lars: Ugh! That social napalm? Do what you want, man. I got better things to do than wax weird with Beach City's biggest bozo, *mockingly* Ronaldo.
Sadie: *exits the Big Donut* Ah, okay. Oh, ha! Nice timing, Steven. Hey, should we head over to Ronaldo's?
Steven: Yeah! I'm-a get so scared! *hugs Sadie*
Sadie: *laughs* Night, Lars. *waves*
Steven: Nighty-night! (They begin to walk away.)
Lars: *runs after them* Hey! Wait up! (He turns back around to lock the back door of the Big Donut.) *gasping* *runs back to them, butting in the middle of Sadie and Steven* So, where's this thing at?
Steven: *pointing* It's right up there.
[Trans. ext. The Lighthouse]
Steven: *knocking*
Ronaldo: *slides door open slightly* (He is wearing a costume and mask and talks in a spooky voice.) Steven! Welcome to my Beach City horror club. *laughs evilly*
Lars: *laughs* More like comedy club. *continues to laugh*
Ronaldo: *notices that Lars has tagged along* Lars?! *drops mask on ground and it breaks* Oh! What are you doing here? Um... *holds open door and motions inside* C-c-c-come in.
Lars: *laughs* *elbows Sadie* I'm scared already.
Sadie: Ronaldo, right? Yeah. I'm Sadie. (She goes over to him and shakes his hand.) Nice to finally officially meet you.
Lars: *begins walking inside, then turns around suddenly* Boo!
Ronaldo: Aah!
Lars: *laughs* (He walks inside the Lighthouse while walking backwards.)
Ronaldo: *grabs Steven before he can go inside* Steven, you're friends with Lars?
Steven: Yeah. Isn't everybody?
Ronaldo: *breathes deeply* Oh, boy!
Steven: Yeah!
[Trans. Int. of The Lighthouse]
Ronaldo: Our first film tonight is a rare classic that hardly needs introduction. *holds up movie* "Evil Bear 2: Bearly Alive."
Lars: What? I've seen that. It's boring. And that stupid fake C.G. bear! Hardly looks like it's really killing anybody.
Ronaldo: C.G.?! Blasphemer! *gets close to Lars* You saw the remake! I have the original. A true fan would accept nothing less.
Lars: Whoa, man. Take it down a notch. (Ronaldo steps back slightly and covers his face in embarrassment.)
Sadie: Whoa, wait. How did you get a copy of that? Can I see the box? (Ronaldo walks over and presents the box.) Woah! In this cut, you actually see Evil Bear eat the hermit's leg. Ho! Oh, is this gonna be a bit much for him?
Steven: I can handle it!
[Time Skip—later that night]
TV: *bear growls, woman screams*
Ronaldo: *leans over back of couch, which Steven is sitting behind* Yo, Steven, are you sure you can see with the couch in your way?
Hermit Man on TV: You're... eating my... leg!
Woman on TV: Oh!
Evil Bear on TV: *laughs*
Ronaldo: Oh, did I miss the part where you can see the sound guy?
(The power goes out in the Lighthouse.)
Lars: Hey! It was just getting good!
Sadie: What's going on?
Lars: Probably just a fuse.
Ronaldo: *shines flashlight in face to create an eery effect* Or maybe it's a gho-o-st?
Sadie: *chuckles and nervously smiles* Good one.
Ronaldo: No, really. What if it's a gho-o-o-o-st? *rummaging through cabinet files* As a skeptic of mortality, I've long suspected that this place might be haunted. *pulls out a pendulum* Aha! Spirit, I beseech you!
Lars: Dude, cut it out. You're being super-weird.
(Sadie, Steven, and Ronaldo gather around the Pendulum.)
Ronaldo: We wish to make contact. Please, spirit, send us a sign.
(The pendulum begins to swing, seemingly of its own accord.)
Steven: *gasps* Whoa!
(The pendulum shoots out of Ronaldo's hands, hitting Lars in the face.)
Ronaldo: Woah!
Lars: Ow!
Ronaldo: Spirit, that was a good sign. But could you send a couple more like that just to be sure?
[Indistinct whispering]
All: Woah!
(The drawers of the cabinet file open and files fly out, swirling in circles above Ronaldo, Steven, Sadie, and Lars.)
All: Aah!
Ronaldo: That's— That's okay, spirit. You can rein it in a little! *coffee cup smashes on the wall behind them*
Sadie: How is this happening?!
Steven: This... is amazing! A real-life haunted house! (A barrel smashes to the ground next to him.)
All: *scream*
(A coffee cup hovers in the air.)
Sadie: Look out! *ducks for cover with the others as the cup smashes where they were just standing* Let's get out of here! *runs towards the door but it suddenly slams shut*
Ronaldo: *pulling on the door knob* It won't open!
All: *smash down the door* *gasping*
(The door mends itself.)
Ronaldo: I'm so sorry! I had no idea there was this violent of a presence here.
Steven: It happens.
Lars: No, it doesn't! It's not a ghost!
Sadie: Who cares what it is? We need to get out of here. (They all begin to walk down the stairs.)
Ronaldo: You know, I deal with this kind of stuff on a regular basis, but, uh, you, uh, looked pretty cool back there.
Sadie: Yeah?
Ronaldo: Yeah! You really took charge.
Sadie: When stuff gets hairy, I just keep my eyes forward, you know?
Ronaldo: Once the civilians are safe, I'm gonna come back to investigate. If you wanted to help... *both laugh*
Steven: *notices Lars leaning over him, trying to hear Ronaldo and Sadie* Is something wrong?
Lars: *covers Steven's mouth with both hands* Oh, shh!
[Children laughing]
Sadie: What is that?
Lars: Oh, it's nothing! We're all just hearing things and seeing things and feeling things that aren't real. *runs to open door* (The door swings open and smashes him in the face.) Oh!
(The scarecrows in the yard are now walking towards Lars, Sadie, Ronaldo, and Steven, growling.)
Sadie: *gasps, screams* (She leans against the door with Ronaldo, attempting to force it closed.)
Ronaldo and Sadie: *both straining* Aah!
(A bat and scarecrow slip through the door. The scarecrow heads right for Lars and swipes at him, missing. A bat chases Lars briefly, and then a scarecrow corners him. Steven manages to pry the scarecrow away from Lars, toss it, and force the scarecrows out of the lighthouse. Ronaldo and Sadie finally close the door.)
Sadie: Have you ever seen a haunting this bad?!
Ronaldo: This is no run-of-the-mill haunting! *shines flashlight onto his own face* It's a poltergeist. *receives confused looks* A "ghost" only haunts a house. A poltergeist haunts a person! They're usually attracted to the terrifying inner world of the emotionally disturbed. *shines flashlight onto Lars*
Lars: *sweats nervously then walks forwards angrily* You think stuff is coming after me?! How can you listen to this...weird guy?! He practically lives in a haunted house. Don't you think maybe he had something to do with it?
Steven: I think you can stop being such a dink to Ronaldo.
Lars: *groans in frustration* *looks over at and runs toward Sadie* Sadie, you're not an idiot!
Steven and Ronaldo: Hey!
Lars: *grabs Sadie by shoulder* Do you believe all of this?!
Sadie: I...
Lars: All this stuff— They've gotta be doing it somehow. We've gotta ditch these guys. Come on.
Sadie: *backs away from Lars and crosses arms* I'm not ditching anyone.
Lars: But what about me, huh?! Sadie! C'mon, you always—
(The floor glows red and the floor boards disappear, swallowing Sadie up and then reassembling over the spot she was just standing on. Sadie screams and then her screams fade away.)
Lars: Sadie?
Ronaldo: The spirit took her! *to Lars* You're gonna drag us all down with you! Don't you even care?!
Sadie: *distantly* *weakly* Laaaaaars...
(A hatch leading to the basement opens up suddenly.)
Ronaldo: The basement!
[Trans. Int. basement of the lighthouse]
Lars: I don't see her anywhere!
Ronaldo: Spirit, show yourself!
Steven: It's close. *places hand on lighthouse structure* I can feel it. It's hurting and... obsessed.
(They all notice a pulsing flesh-like structure with Lars' name carved into it.)
Lars: *shudders* Ahaao...
Ronaldo: It should have been you!
Lars: Wh-what?
Ronaldo: *advances towards Lars* It took her, but it should have been you, Lars!
Steven: Woah hold on, Ronaldo.
Spirit: *echoing* Lars.
(A mouth grows into the wall of the lighthouse and Ronaldo grabs Lars.)
Lars: Hey! Let go!
(Steven runs in front of Ronaldo, who is walking towards the mouth with Lars.)
Steven: Wait! Stop! What are you doing?
Ronaldo: *raises Lars above his head*
Lars: *screams*
Ronaldo: Spirit, I deliver the package of darkness! Return to us the innocent Sadie!
Spirit: Laaaaars!
Lars: C-come on, man. We used to be friends.
Ronaldo: And you threw me away! *throws Lars into the spirit's mouth*
Lars: *screams*
Steven: Lars! *runs towards the mouth and goes inside it*
Ronaldo: No, Steven, he's not worth it!
Lars: Why does everything bad happen to me?
(The spirit, mouth held open by a mere pipe, pins Steven and Lars down with its tongue. Its teeth begin to slowly come down in an attempt to crush Steven and Lars.)
Steven: (He summons his bubble shield and protects himself and Lars.) *screaming* *gasps*
(The wall that the mouth was on explodes and a gem along with Sadie emerges from the rubble.)
All: Sadie!
Sadie: *coughs, gasps*
Steven: *holds up the gem* It's a gem!
(The gem flashes.)
All: *groan*
(The gem projects a holographic flashback of a younger Lars and Ronaldo.)
Young Ronaldo: This is the perfect clubhouse for the Beach City Explorer Club! *laughs*
Young Lars: Secret clubhouse, right, Ronnie? *makes mouth zipping motions* Zip!
Young Ronaldo: *laughs*
Steven: *is watching the holograph and laughs*
Lars: *groans*
Young Ronaldo: Lars, you're a riot!
[Scraping]
Young Ronaldo: Dude!
Young Lars: (Lars is etching his name into the wall of the lighthouse with a screwdriver.) Just carving our names in! Pretty metal, huh? *sticks screwdriver into the wall*
[Rumbling]
Young Lars: Weird. (A wooden board from the wall slams upwards and knocks Lars away.) Oh!
Younger Ronaldo: *takes a picture* Holy smokes! The clubhouse is possessed!
Younger Lars: *groans*
Younger Ronaldo: *runs over to Lars* Lars! Lars! (He shoves the picture of Lars getting slammed in the face by the wooden board into his hands.) When you turn on the TV tomorrow, this is what's gonna be on every station!
Younger Lars: *sweating nervously* B-b-but—But you said this was secret!
Younger Ronaldo: Our first paranormal discovery! We're gonna take on the world together!
Younger Lars: Um... Let me just— Uh, I'll just, uh... *begins to tear up the photo*
Younger Ronaldo: *gasps* No! What are you doing?! No, no, no, no, no!
Younger Lars: I'm just tearing myself out.
Younger Ronaldo: Stop! *grabs Lars and reaches for the remains of the photo* *both strain* Let me... see! (He yanks Lars' arm down and inspects photo.) *gasps* What'd you do? Oh!
Younger Lars: Oh, come on. Ronnie, you know I can't let people see me like that.
Younger Ronaldo: What?! What's the matter with you?! *hits Lars* Don't you know how important this was?!
Younger Lars: *shoves Ronaldo* (They shove against each other and Lars steps on Ronaldo's foot, then begins to runs away.)
Younger Ronaldo: Aah! Why do you care so much about what other people think?!
Younger Lars: You wouldn't say that if you knew what other people say about you!
(Ronaldo looks angry while watching the flashback while Lars looks upset.)
Younger Lars: *runs away and disappears in the flashback*
Younger Ronaldo: Lars?
(The projection disappears.)
Steven: *to the gem* Aah! Okay, shh. I've got you. When you were stuck in the wall, was the house like your body? You must have felt like you were under attack back when Lars carved his name in you.
Ronaldo: Can I see that?
Steven: Uh, sorry. We should let it rest. *bubbles the gem away to The Burning Room*
Sadie: So, all that lashing out was just from feeling hurt and trapped for so long...
Lars: I didn't mean to rip it up, okay? You can stop talking about me now.
Ronaldo: Wait! Oh, Sadie, are you okay?
Sadie: Uh, yeah. I'm fine.
Lars: Oh, yeah. *chuckles* We were both worried about— I mean, I ran down here faster.
Sadie: Can we get out of here?
Steven: Sadie, you can come with me. I think these two have a lot to talk about.
Sadie: I bet. (They both walk away.)
Ronaldo: I wasn't trying to make you look bad.
Lars: *panicky* Ahhh, whatever. It didn't matter. I don't care!
Ronaldo: Hey, Lars. Take it down a notch.
Lars: Aah! *blushes*
[Iris out on Lars' annoyed/embarrassed face]
[END]