I Am My Mom/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of I Am My Mom. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Are You My Dad?"

Next: "Stuck Together"

Speaker	Dialogue
Steven	This is an emergency!
Pearl	Why is Homeworld stealing humans from the boardwalk?
Steven	I don't know, but they're only taking my friends! They even got Connie! If we don't do something, they're going to take them into space!
Amethyst	And our spaceship got jacked, so if they leave Earth...
Garnet	They'll be gone for good.
Amethyst	Ugh! Who were these guys?
Steven	That little gem I saw before, her name's Aquamarine.
Pearl	What?!
Steven	She's got a big friend -- a fusion, named Topaz.
Pearl	A topaz fusion and an aquamarine?
Amethyst	Are they a big deal?
Pearl	Uh, yes! Blue and Yellow Diamond must have sent them personally.
Steven	The Diamonds? Oh, no. They must be collecting more humans for the zoo!
Amethyst	But there's loads of humans on Earth. Why are they only grabbing your friends?
Steven	Maybe...because my friends are the best!
*Cellphone buzzes*
Steven	*Gasps* It's from Connie! I know where they are!
Garnet	Stay alert. They could be anywhere.
Amethyst	Did Connie send you any more pictures?
Steven	No, nothing.
Pearl	We know they're here somewhere.
Steven	Connie? Lars? Sadie? Onion? *Sighs* Why them?
*Ringing*
*Cellphone ringing nearby*
Pearl	*Gasps* W-Was that Connie's pho--
*Heavy footsteps*
Aquamarine	Oh, no! *Singsong voice* You found us.
Onion and Sadie	*Frantic mumbling*
Jamie	Help!
Steven	Give it up, Aquamarine! There's nowhere to run!
Aquamarine	*Normal voice* Oh, what's this, now? Did you think we were running away?
Jamie	Steven, save yourself... after you save us!
Aquamarine	Huh. You know, now that I think about it, this Steven does seem to know everyone on our list. The list did come from a Steven, after all. Maybe you can help us out.
Garnet	Just let the humans go!
Aquamarine	Uh, no. Who are these dullards?
Amethyst	We're the Crystal Gems, you chump!
Aquamarine	Yeah, yeah. Rose Quartz's old lackeys. That was in the report, too. We're not here for any of you rogue gems. We'll leave you totally alone... if... you tell us where we can find my dad.
Steven	I don't know what you're talking about!
Aquamarine	Let's see. Yellow Diamond asked for, uh, my dad, a Connie, a Lars, a Sadie, a mailman, and an Onion, I think. Six human variations specified in a report by Peridot 5XG.
Steven	*Gasps*
Steven	Oh, no, there's lots of humans. There's my dad, Connie, Lars and Sadie, the mailman, Onion... I think.
Steven	The list. I gave them the list.
Pearl	What are you talking about?
Steven	Aquamarine doesn't have a dad. She's looking for someone named "my dad!". This is all my fault.
Garnet	Don't worry about that now. Our objective's still the same -- beat the gems...
Steven	Save our friends!
Aquamarine	Hey, Topaz, look! They want to lose another fight.
Garnet	*Growls* *Gasps*
Jamie	No, Garnet, I've moved on, I swear!
Garnet	Ay!
Steven	Garnet!
Amethyst	That's dirty!
Pearl	My spear can reach her without hurting the hostages.
Aquamarine	Oh, you're so smart. *she uses her wand to make Pearl lift up in the sky* Goodbye!
Pearl	Whoa!
Amethyst	*Grunting*
Aquamarine	This is getting annoying. Hey, Topaz, can you remind me? I mean, my memory is perfect, but our orders were to bring back these six humans. I'm just not sure. Did they specify... alive? You know, I don't think they did.
Jamie	Huh?
Steven	Jamie.
Jamie	*Whimpers* Steven?
Aquamarine	I just think, if you care about your friends or whatever, you should tell me where my dad is, all right?
Pearl	What are we going to do?! Steven!
Steven	Stop! I know where you can find my dad.
Aquamarine	Ooh! Where? Where?!
Steven	Right here. I'm the one you're looking for. I am my dad!
Pearl	What?
Amethyst	Huh?
Aquamarine	I know what you're thinking, Topaz. It seems a little suspicious that my dad is also a Steven. But you know... if it means getting out of here, I'll believe it.
Connie	Steven!
Pearl	Steven, do you know what you're doing?
Steven	Oh! Hi, Lars.
Lars	*Angry muffled shouting*
Steven	Don't worry, I'm gonna bust us all out with my bubble power!
Onion	Muh-muh! Muh!
Steven	Her body's so thick. *Grunting* This might be a little difficult.
Lars	*Muffled shouting*
Aquamarine	Time to go.
Amethyst	Uh, Steven, di-- did you actually have a plan or --
Steven	Just need a minute...
Aquamarine	Very nice meeting you all, and your compliance is appreciated, but... our job here is done, so... *Blows raspberry*
Steven	*Groans*
Aquamarine	*Sighs* Let's get back to Homeworld already.
Jamie	But I'm already on my home world. I haven't even delivered all the mail today.
Steven	Don't worry. I can do this.
Jamie	Ohh! You might want to hurry, Steven. The threat of us perishing in this quagmire of yellow feels very real -- a real encompassing kind of real. A neon death trap, which has imprisoned us so tightly, like a winter coat that's too big in the sleeves.
Steven	Lars, stop! I need to concentrate!
Aquamarine	Ugh. If I never get sent on another mission to Earth, it'll be too soon. What an ordeal. But the Diamonds needed me. That's the burden of being the best.
Jamie	What justice is there in such a gross tangling of symbols?!
Aquamarine	Will you stop?! You're ruining my moment!
Jamie	Steven.
Steven	I almost got it! *Grunting*
Jamie	Huh?
Topaz	*Bubbling*
*All scream*
Aquamarine	What? Topaz! Get this mess cleaned up. And, Topaz, help her out. I'm setting a course.
Steven	The door! Huh?
Lars	*Groans*
Sadie	Lars! Lars?!
Lars	*Whimpering*
Connie	*Grunts* Steven, let's fuse!
Steven	We're already in the air. How are we going to get back?
Connie	*Gasps* Watch out!
Aquamarine	I'd really appreciate you wrapping it up down there before we exit the atmosphere.
Sadie	Come on! Lars, you gotta get up! We gotta move! *Gasps* Whoa! Oh! *Grunts* Lars! Come on! Help me! Lars! *Grunts*
Lars	*Whimpering*
Sadie	Lars.
Sadie	*Grunts* Hey, thanks! Get to the door!
Aquamarine	Topaz, pull it together and finish this!
Connie	Steven?
Steven	Connie, I'm sorry!
Connie	What are you [Grunts] talking about?!
Steven	It's my fault you were abducted... why everyone was taken. If it weren't for me, the diamonds wouldn't have come for my friends. If it weren't for my mom, they wouldn't even be trying to destroy the Earth!
Connie	Steven! *Grunts* Focus!
*Loud clank*
Aquamarine	What now?
Steven	The door.
Connie	Right.
Connie	Alexandrite!
Steven	Take us close to the water. We're gonna jump!
Sadie	What?!
Jamie	Huh?
Steven	Okay.
Steven	Uh, go! Go.
Jamie	Steven, I-I seem to be paralyzed with fear. Whoa!
Aquamarine	Nice try. But it's hopeless, my dad. I can't go back to Homeworld without getting what the Diamonds want.
Steven	I'm...not my dad.
Aquamarine	What?
Steven	I'm not my dad!
Aquamarine	How much longer is this mission going to take?
Steven	Well, I can end it for you right now.
Aquamarine	Oh, really?
Steven	I'm someone the Diamonds will want more than any of these humans -- the leader of the Crystal Gem rebellion -- the gem that shattered Pink Diamond. I'm not my dad. I'm my mom. I'm Rose Quartz!
Aquamarine	*Gasps* No way.
Connie	Steven?
Pearl	No. Don't! Steven!
Amethyst	What are you doing?!
Steven	I get it now. I'm the only one who can stop what she started. I can stop all of it!
Garnet	You're wrong! Steven, get down here!
Steven	She wouldn't have wanted this. But I do.
Amethyst	I'm gonna kick your butt if you don't come down here right now!
Pearl	Steven.
Connie	No! Don't you dare!
Steven	I love you.
Connie	No! Stop! (The ship blasts off and disappears) Steven!