I Am My Mom/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of I Am My Mom. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Are You My Dad?"

Next: "Stuck Together"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Open Int. Beach House]
(Following the events in Are You My Dad?, after Steven regained consciousness, he quickly announces the latest crisis to the Crystal Gems at his home.)
Steven	This is an emergency!
Pearl	Why is Homeworld stealing humans from the boardwalk?
Steven	I don't know, but they're only taking my friends! They even got Connie! If we don't do something, they're going to take them into space!
Amethyst	And our spaceship got jacked, so if they leave Earth...
Garnet	They'll be gone for good.
Amethyst	Ugh! Who were these guys?
Steven	That little Gem I saw before, her name's Aquamarine.
Pearl	What?!
Steven	She's got a big friend- a fusion, named... Topaz.
Pearl	A Topaz fusion... And an Aquamarine?
Amethyst	Are they a big deal?
Pearl	Uhh, yes! Blue and Yellow Diamond must have sent them personally.
Steven	The Diamonds? Oh no! They must be collecting more humans for the zoo!
Amethyst	But there's loads of humans on Earth. Why are they only grabbing your friends?
Steven	Maybe... Because my friends are the best!
(The Gems look away in uneasy, when Steven's phone starts buzzing.)
Steven	*gasps* It's from Connie! I know where they are!
[Trans. Int. Beach City Funland]
(A photo is sent to Steven's phone, revealing the entrance of Funland, and the Crystal Gems head there immediately.)
Garnet	Stay alert. They could be anywhere.
Amethyst	Did Connie send you any more pictures?
Steven	No, nothing.
Pearl	We know they're here somewhere.
(The Gems run on ahead, leaving Steven behind, as he begins whisper-yelling for his friends.)
Steven	Connie? Lars? Sadie? Onion? *sighs* Why them?
(Steven tries calling Connie's cellphone, and "Alone Together" is heard in the distance. Steven runs towards the source of the music and finds Connie's phone on the ground. The Crystal Gems also come walking in too, after hearing the music.)
Pearl	*gasps* W-Was that Connie's pho-
(Heavy footsteps is then heard from behind Steven. He peeks behind from the corner of his eyes and spots Topaz peeking out from behind the merry-go-round.)
Aquamarine	*pops out* Oh, no! ♪ You found us. ♪
(Onion and Sadie peeks out too, mumbling frantically.)
Jamie	*pops out* Help!
Steven	Give it up, Aquamarine! There's nowhere to run!
Aquamarine	Oh, what's this, now? Did you think we were running away?
Jamie	Steven, save yourself... After you save us!
Aquamarine	Huh. *pulls out her wand* You know, now that I think about it, this Steven does seem to know everyone on our list. The list did come from a Steven, after all. Maybe you can help us out.
Garnet	Just let the humans go!
Aquamarine	Uhh, no! Who are these dullards?
Amethyst	We're the Crystal Gems, you chump!
Aquamarine	Yeah, yeah. Rose Quartz's old lackeys. That was in the report, too. We're not here for any of you rogue Gems. We'll leave you totally alone... If! You tell us where we can find my dad.
Steven	I don't know what you're talking about!
Aquamarine	Let's see. Yellow Diamond asked for, uh, my dad, a Connie, a Lars, a Sadie, a mailman, and an Onion, I think. Six human variations specified in a report by Peridot 5XG.
(Steven gasps in shock as he flashes back to the time of Marble Madness, when he was talking to Peridot for the first time.)
Past Steven	"Oh no, there's lots of humans, there's my dad, Connie, Lars and Sadie, the mailman, Onion... I think."
(The brief flashback ends, leaving Steven morbidly horrified.)
Steven	The list. I gave them the list.
Pearl	What are you talking about?
Steven	Aquamarine doesn't have a dad. She's looking for someone named "my dad"!. This is all my fault.
Garnet	Don't worry about that now. Our objective's still the same: beat the Gems...
Steven	...Save our friends!
Aquamarine	Hey Topaz, look! They want to lose another fight.
(Garnet charges forth, preparing to make the first strike, when Topaz moves Jamie, merged in her body, right in Garnet's trajectory, causing her to flinch.)
Jamie	No, Garnet, I've moved on, I swear!
(Garnet quickly halts herself to avoid hurting Jamie, which however, also allows Topaz to grab her by her head and throws her away, slamming right into a game booth.)
Steven	Garnet!
Amethyst	That's dirty!
Pearl	*leaps up* My spear can reach her without hurting the hostages!
Aquamarine	Oh, you're so smart. *fires a tractor beam with her wand at Pearl* Goodbye!
Pearl	Whoa!
(Aquamarine hurls Pearl high up into the sky, causing her to disappear into it with a blink. Amethyst then coils her whip around Connie's hand and attempts to pull her out of Topaz's body. Topaz, however, stops her by stomping on the whip with her foot. Garnet emerges from inside the game booth, Pearl lands back from the sky, and the Crystal Gems regroup.)
Amethyst	*Grunting*
Aquamarine	This is getting annoying. Hey, Topaz, can you remind me? I mean, my memory is perfect, but our orders were to bring back these six humans. I'm just not sure. Did they specify... alive?
(Aquamarine makes a sinister look at the Crystal Gems, startled by her remark. Aquamarine then quickly takes on an overjoyed expression.)
Aquamarine	You know, I don't think they did!
Jamie	Huh?
(At Aquamarine's comment, Topaz grips Jamie's head in her hand.)
Steven	Jamie.
Jamie	*whimpering* Steven?
Aquamarine	I just think, if you care about your "friends" or whatever, you should tell me where "my dad" is, all right?
Pearl	What are we going to do?! Steven!
Steven	*runs towards Aquamarine* Stop! I know where you can find "my dad".
Aquamarine	Ooh! Where? Where!?
Steven	Right here. I'm the one you're looking for. I am "my dad"!
Pearl	What?
Amethyst	Huh?
Aquamarine	I know what you're thinking, Topaz. It seems a little suspicious that "my dad" is also a "Steven". But you know... If it means getting out of here, I'll believe it.
(Topaz instantly unfuses into two Topazes, holding hands while carrying the other humans.)
Connie	Steven!
Pearl	Steven, do you know what you're doing?
(Steven glances at Pearl and gives a thumbs-up, as the Topazes fuse together with Steven in between, merging him and the other humans in Topaz's body. Only Steven's head is visible from the surface of Topaz's back, along with Lars' half-submerged head and arm.)
Steven	Oh! Hi, Lars.
(Lars shouts in anger, but is muffled, due to his mouth merged in Topaz's body.)
Steven	Don't worry, I'm gonna bust us all out with my bubble power!
(Steven begins straining, while Onion, merged on Topaz's shoulder, murmurs something to Topaz.)
Steven	Her body's... so thick. *grunts* This... might be... a little difficult.
(Lars muffle-shouts in anger again, banging on Topaz's back with his free arm.)
Aquamarine	Time to go!
(Aquamarine raises her wand, and a spaceship, disguised as the top of a merry-go-around, activates, floating into the air and opening a door into it.)
Amethyst	Uh, Steven, di-did you actually have a plan or-
Steven	Just need... a minute...
(Topaz leaps onto the ship's door and Aquamarine flies in front of the Crystal Gems to taunt them.)
Aquamarine	Very nice meeting you all, and your compliance is appreciated, but!- *dodges a stab from Pearl's spear* Our job here is done, so...
(Aquamarine blows a raspberry as she flies into her ship. Steven stops straining as he looks around the interior of the ship.)
Aquamarine	*sighs* Let's get back to Homeworld already.
Jamie	But I'm already on my home world. I haven't even delivered all the mail today.
Steven	Don't worry. I can do this.
(Sadie, Lars and Connie, with their mouths merged in Topaz's body, begin muffle-shouting in panic and anger.)
Jamie	Ohh! You might want to hurry, Steven. The threat of us perishing in this quagmire of yellow feels very real; a real encompassing kind of real. A neon death trap, which has imprisoned us so tightly, like a winter coat that's too big in the sleeves.
(Lars flails his hand in Steven's face in his anger.)
Steven	Lars, stop! I need to concentrate!
Aquamarine	Ughh. If I never get sent on another mission to Earth, it'll be too soon. What an ordeal. But the Diamonds needed me. That's the burden of being the best.
Jamie	What justice is there in such a gross tangling of symbols?!
Aquamarine	Will you stop?! You're ruining my moment!
Jamie	*whimpering* Steven.
Steven	I almost got it! *grunts loudly*
Jamie	Huh?
(Topaz starts sweating and begins expanding like a balloon. She eventually pops, forcefully separated back into two Topazes, as Steven successfully summons his bubble shield. Everyone screams as they are freed from Topaz's imprisonment and scattered around the ship.)
Aquamarine	What?! Topaz! Get this mess cleaned up. And, Topaz, help her out. I'm setting a course.
Steven	The door! Huh?
(A Topaz approaches Steven, summons her mace from her gem and swings it at Steven, who quickly blocks it with his shield. At that moment, Lars and Sadie slowly get up.)
Sadie	Lars! Lars?!
(Lars whimpers and shivers in fear, as he watches Connie and Steven engaging both Topazes in battle.)
Connie	Steven, let's fuse!
Steven	We're already in the air. How are we going to get back?
(A Topaz twirls her mace and swings it with immerse speed and strength at Connie and Steven, who manages to endure the attack inside his bubble shield.)
Connie	*gasps* Watch out!
(A Topaz swings her mace again hits Steven's bubble away. At that moment, Aquamarine taps on a button on the ship's control panel.)
Aquamarine	I'd really appreciate you wrapping it up down there before we exit the atmosphere?
(Steven and Connie, after being knocked back, slowly gets up, as Steven spots Sadie trying to drag Lars on his foot.)
Sadie	Come on! Lars, you gotta get up! We gotta move! *gasps*
(A Topaz swings her mace at Lars, and Sadie quickly pushes Lars out of the way. The Topaz then grabs Sadie and grasps her in her hand.)
Sadie	Lars! Come on! Help me! Lars! *Grunts*
(Lars, paralyzed with fear, gets up, only to run away in cowardice, and hides in the basement of the ship.)
Sadie	Lars...
(The Topaz suddenly turns around, blocking an attack from Connie with her mace. At that moment, Sadie bites Topaz's finger, causing her to release her, and Sadie runs towards Connie.)
Sadie	Hey, thanks! Get to the door!
Aquamarine	Topaz, pull it together and finish this!
(The two Topaz look at each other and approach each other.)
Connie	Steven?
(The two Topaz fuses together back into a big Topaz, in turns fusing their maces together into a pugil stick, and engages Steven and Connie in battle again.)
Steven	Connie, I'm sorry!
Connie	What are you- *blocks Topaz's attack* -talking about?!
Steven	It's my fault you were abducted... *gets knocked back by Topaz* Why everyone was taken. If it weren't for me, the Diamonds wouldn't have come for my friends. If it weren't for my mom, they wouldn't even be trying to destroy the Earth!
Connie	Steven! *defends Steven against one of Topaz's attacks* Focus!
(Just now, the entire ship begins to tremble.)
Aquamarine	What now?
Steven	The door.
Connie	Right.
(Steven runs up to the door switch and opens, revealing Alexandrite outside, holding the ship down.)
Connie	Alexandrite!
Steven	Take us close to the water. We're gonna jump!
Sadie	What?!
Jamie	Huh?
(Alexandrite pushes the ship down towards the ocean.)
Steven	Okay-
(Onion immediately runs out of the door and plunges into the ocean.)
Steven	Uhh, go! Go.
Jamie	Steven, I-I seem to be paralyzed with fear. Whoa!
(Steven lifts Jamie up and throws him overboard, as Sadie and Connie jumps off the ship as well. However, Aquamarine then fires her tractor beam, halting Jamie, Sadie, Connie, Onion and Alexandrite in their tracks.)
Aquamarine	Nice try. But it's hopeless, "my dad". I can't go back to Homeworld without getting what the Diamonds want.
(Steven glances down at his friends in peril and begins to confess in defeat.)
Steven	I'm... not my dad.
Aquamarine	What?!
Steven	I'm not my dad!
Aquamarine	How much longer is this mission going to take?
Steven	Well, I can end it for you, right now.
Aquamarine	Oh, really?
Steven	I'm someone the Diamonds will want more than any of these humans: the leader of the Crystal Gem rebellion; the Gem that shattered Pink Diamond. I'm not my dad. I'm my mom. *lifts his shirt* I'm Rose Quartz!
Aquamarine	*gasps* No way.
(Aquamarine retracts her tractor beam, causing Alexandrite to unfuse, and everyone to drop into the ocean.)
Connie	Steven?
Pearl	No, don't! Steven!
Amethyst	What are you doing?!
Steven	I get it now. I'm the only one who can stop what she started. I can stop all of it!
Garnet	You're wrong! Steven, get down here!
Steven	She wouldn't have wanted this. But I do.
Amethyst	I'm gonna kick your butt if you don't come down here right now!
(Steven turns and walks back into the ship, surrendering himself to Aquamarine and Topaz.)
Pearl	Steven... *tears up and covers her mouth*
Connie	No! Don't you dare!
Steven	I love you.
Connie	No! Stooop!
(The door of the ship closes, and the ship blasts off, disappearing into the evening sky.)
Connie	STEEEVEEEN!
[END]