Joy Ride/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Joy Ride". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Full Disclosure"

Next: "Say Uncle"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Opens on Beach]
(The Crystal Gems are clearing up the debris from the Gem Warship off the beach. Steven digs into the sand with a shovel and picks up a small piece of debris.)
Steven	Do we really have to get every piece?
Amethyst	*digs up large piece of debris* Yes!
Garnet	*pulls out a larger piece from the sand* Yes, having a wrecked ship lying around is too dangerous. We've got to take care of it... all of it.
Pearl	*piles the debris together* And we need to start looking for Peridot's escape pod too, assuming she even made it to Earth.
Garnet	There's a lot of work ahead of us.
Steven	*drops the small debris into a trash bag* On it.
(Steven walks to the other side of the beach and digs up a huge piece of debris.)
Steven	Woah, that's a big one.
(Steven continues digging up some more debris when he thinks he hears someone calling his name.
Jenny	Steven! Steven!
Steven	Huh?
(Steven looks up and realizes it is Jenny, Buck and Sour Cream.)
Buck	Yo!
Jenny	Hey Steven, welcome back to Earth.
Steven	What? Who told you?!
Buck	You looked a million miles away, man.
Steven	Oh, heh-heh. Sorry, I was zoning out.
Buck	We were about to go chill in the parking lot and freak out some squares.
Jenny	You should come with.
Steven	Oh, but I— I don't have anything against squares. I like all basic shapes.
Buck	*chuckles* Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. You got that much-needed counterpart to our cynical world view. You have to come.
Sour Cream	It's good energy flow.
Steven	Sorry, guys, but I got a lot of important gem work to do. Maybe later.
Jenny	Aww.
Sour Cream	Bummer.
Buck	Well, catch you later, then.
(Jenny, Buck and Sour Cream walk away, and Steven keeps digging.)
[Trans. Int. Beach House, Night Time]
(Steven is lying on his bed, moaning in soreness.)
Steven	Ugh, the calluses on my hands have calluses. A working man's burden is truly a heavy one. *rolls over and sighs*
(A thump is heard from the window beside Steven's bed. Steven crawls out of his bed and looks out the window, when a slice of pizza hits the window, startling him.)
Steven	Huh, pizza rain, but no pizza clouds. Wah!
(Steven looks down and see Buck and Sour Cream hurling pizza slices at his windows. He then exits his house and approaches them.)
Steven	What are you guys doing here? And why are you making it pizza rain?
Buck	I only wanted to see you laughing, in the pizza rain.
Steven	*confused* Is that a reference to something?
Buck	C'mon. It's time to hang out.
Steven	We can't hang out at night! Night is for dreaming.
Sour Cream	Night is whatever you want it to be, time is an illusion.
Steven	*ponders* Hmmm...
Buck	Aren't you done working for the day?
Steven	Hmm. Yeah... Okay, let's hang out!
Buck	Nice!
Sour Cream	But first, we have to deliver the rest of this pizza to Mr. Smiley.
(Jenny then approaches to drive Steven, Buck and Sour Cream out of town in her car.)
Jenny	Whoo! Wind in your face, that's what I'm talking about!
Buck	Breathe deep, Steven. This is the smell of freedom.
Steven	*inhales* Freedom smells like pepperoni.
Jenny	*laughs* That's just the car.
Sour Cream	You know what food definitely doesn't smell like freedom? Fish!
Steven	Why fish?
Jenny	Uh oh, here we go.
Sour Cream	I just don't get what's wrong with wantin' to be a deejay. But my step-dad was all on my case today saying— *imitates Yellowtail's murmurs mockingly* —Eugh. I'm just like, I don't want to be a fisherman. Everyone knows you can't rave in a raincoat, step-dad!
Buck	At least he only bugs you about one thing. My dad's gotta say something about everything I do, 'cause I'm the mayor's son. And I'm like, you can't tell me what to do, I'm the mayor's... wait.
Jenny	*laughs* Puh-lease, you're are walking in cake with that talk. You guys don't even know what bad is until you have a sister. Look, I don't know why I have to spell it out that I'm the evil twin and she's the good one! Don't ask me to help you with your homework, I'm at some metal concert.
Steven	Family stuff is tricky. (The cool kids nod in agreement.) A few months back, my dad and the Gems grounded me from TV.
(The cool kids all respond at the same time.)
Buck	That's the worst.
Sour Cream	Bummer.
Jenny	No way!
Steven	And then I found out that the Gems are alien rebels, and there are other Gems out there that want us dead because they think we're traitors. And they tried to take me hostage because they think I'm my mom. And maybe I kinda am? *sighs* I wish I could talk to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl about it, but I think they kinda blame me for my mom not being around.
(There is an awkward silence between Steven and the cool kids. Jenny then turns off the radio.)
Jenny	That's heavy.
Steven	I guess.
Buck	But you always seem so upbeat. You're a real champ, Steven Universe.
Sour Cream	Yeah, I'd turn to fishing in a heartbeat if it meant not dealing with tha- THAT! *startled and points abruptly*
(Jenny quickly stops the car and it screeches to a halt.)
Sour Cream	Look at that!
Jenny	What?! What did I hit?! What is it?!
Sour Cream	Glooowiiiing. *points at a green glowing aura in wheat field* We gotta check it out.
Buck	I'm down.
Jenny	Alright, hold on.
(Jenny shifts the car gear and starts driving into the wheat field. The groups then gets off the car and examine the strange crop formation.)
Sour Cream	That's, like, as bright as like 600 glowsticks.
(The group approaches the center of the crop formation and discovers a beat-up pod in the middle of a crater.)
Steven	Peridot's escape pod. *inhales deeply and turns to the cool kids* Okay, everybody step back. This is a gem machine and could be extremely dangerous.
Sour Cream	*carries a rock over* Check it out.
Steven	What are you doing?!
Sour Cream	Ugh! *hurls the rock at the escape pod* Boom!
(The cool kids then approach to step into the crater.)
Steven	Whoa, stop! Peridot might still be in there.
Buck	Peri-what?
Jenny	This biz is empty.
Buck	*laughs* It looks so busted.
Steven	You need to get away from there! *lifts Jenny away from the pod*
Jenny	You need to relax. It's not doing anything.
Steven	It's not just the pod. This means Peridot is just out there somewhere, trying to hurt the earth!
Buck	Not cool, Earth forever! *kicks the pod*
Sour Cream	Here come the rocks! *dumps more rocks on the pod*
Jenny	Steven, come take a selfie with me and this thing.
Steven	No, Jenny, I'm serious.
Jenny	So am I. Sour Cream, what about you?
Sour Cream	Sure, I'm down with whatever.
Jenny	Buck?
Buck	Nah, I like to just experience the moment for what it is sometimes. Plus the lighting is weird.
Jenny	Ugh, okay. Steven. Last call. I got funny stickers.
(Jenny proceeds to take a series of selfies with Steven, Buck and Sour Cream. Steven appears initially stiffened, but eventually grows more flexible and comfortable.)
Jenny	*squeals loudly* these are so good!
Steven	How do I look?
Jenny	You look great, look, stay right there, I'm going to take one more- *gasps* Steven, you should get in there.
Steven	What?
Jenny	Just for a second, one picture.
(Steven and the cool kids gather around the entrance of the pod. They chuckles together and Steven climbs in the pod.)
Jenny	Okay, ready! 3, 2...
(Jenny takes more pictures of Steven in the pod, when he accidentally activates it.)
Sour Cream	Dude!
Jenny	Oh my gosh, Steven! Whaaaaaa. This is so cool!
Steven	*starts controlling the pod* Whooooaaaaaaaa.
(The pod climbs out of the crater and tumbles on its head. It then begins spinning around with Steven inside, as the cool kids climb out too.)
Jenny	Steven, how are you doing that?
Steven	*rustling inside the pod* I think it listens to what my hands do. I really shouldn't be playing with this. I have to take this back to the Temple immediately.
Jenny	No way, you just got it working!
Buck	C'mon, aren't you your own mom? You can do whatever you want.
Sour Cream	Yeah, you gotta do some donuts in that thing!
Buck	At least a dozen, baker's dozen.
Jenny	Seriously, Steven, you've been under a lot of pressure. Don't you think you deserve to have a little fun?
(Steven proceeds to have some fun inside the pod with the cool kid: Giving them a ride, racing with Jenny's car, crop grattiti, dancing etc.)
Jenny	You really got the hang of that thing, huh?
Steven	*laughs* Yeah, it always hooks to the left. I should really get it back to the gems though.
Cool Kids	Nooo...
Steven	...Right after I jump that haystack!
Cool Kids	Yeah, do it! Go, Steven! Yeah, whoo! *laugh*
Steven	*jumps over the haystack and tumbles* I'm okay! *giggles* It's not actually so bad if you give it a little-
(Steven nudges the dented ceiling of the pod, and it closes up. The inside of the pod begins to light up.)
Steven	Aah!
(The pod then begins levitating off the ground.)
Jenny	Steven?
(A shockwave emits from the pod, knocking the cool kids backwards.)
Steven	Guys?
(Green transparent goo begins filling up the pod. Steven holds his breath, thinking he cannot breath inside the goo, but exhales shortly, discovers he can breathe normally. The pod starts shooting lasers and its arsenal everywhere. The jerk causes Steven to accidentally activate a panel, sending out a flare. The cool kids run everywhere and scream, trying to escape from the pod's barrage.)
Jenny	Steven! What's going on?
Steven	Guys! Can you hear me? *gasps*
(The Crystal Gems then emerge from the smoke, caused by the laser barrage.)
Pearl	I knew it! That flare led us right to the escape pod!
Amethyst	What's going on here?!
Cool Kids	Help! Over here!
Steven	Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!
Pearl	We'll save you, humans! *hurls her spear through the pod, barely missing Steven inside* I can't believe it. Peridot's still inside.
Garnet	She's probably weak from the landing. Don't hold back!
Amethyst	Got it!
(Pearl throws another spear through the pod, while Amethyst grabs it with her whip.)
Cool Kids	Wait! No!
Steven	Whoa!
Garnet	You got a lotta nerve taking refuge here. Of all places! *grabs the whip and starts pulling the pod down*
Steven	Garnet?
Garnet	But I don't know where you get off attacking defenseless humans in your dead-beat escape pod. *continues to pull it down*
Steven	Garnet! It's me, Steven, can you hear me? Garnet!
Garnet	And if you think you're safe here, well I got news for you. You lost! Now! *summons her gauntlets and prepares to punch the pod*
Steven	Garnet, Garnet, Garnet!
Garnet	Stay off my planet! *throws her fist at the pod*
Jenny	*steps in front of Garnet's gauntlet* Stop! (Garnet halts immediately.) Steven's in there.
(Garnet then notices Steven inside and breaks the pod open, releasing him.)
Amethyst & Pearl	Steven!
Amethyst	What were you doing?
Pearl	You found Peridot's escape pod and didn't come get us immediately!?
Amethyst	Dude, we almost wrecked you.
Garnet	Steven, this is unacceptable. I'm very disappointed in you.
Steven	*sighs* You're right...
(The Cool Kids run up in front of Steven.)
Jenny	Hey, cut him some slack!
Buck	It's not his fault!
Sour Cream	Just let him be a deejay!
Pearl	...Wha?
Sour Cream	We just wanted Steven to have some fun. I don't know what's going on with aliens trying to abduct him, and him being his own mom. But it sounds like he's got a lot on his mind.
Jenny	I'm sure whatever you're having him do is important, but everyone needs a break once in a while.
Buck	He's just a kid.
Pearl	*sighs* Maybe we have been a little hard on him.
Amethyst	He did just break us out of space jail.
Garnet	*sternly* Steven! *smiles* You're ungrounded from TV.
(Steven, astonished, smiles and runs up to Garnet to hug her. Jenny then takes another series of selfies with the cool kids and the Crystal Gems. The episode ends with a final shot of Sour Cream throwing another rock at the wrecked escape pod, shouting "I'm invincible!", with a sticker reading "Earth Forever!".)
[END]