| Speaker
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Dialogue
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| [Open Ext. Fish Stew Pizza, Daytime]
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| (Steven puts up missing posters for Lion on the pizzeria's windows from inside. As he leaves, he speaks to someone inside.
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| Steven
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If you see him, call me right away. He's my only interdimensional gateway to space, and I love him. *walks off* Okay, I think I have enough fliers left to-
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| (Just then, a yellow sports car stops in front of Steven, causing the fliers to fly out of his hands.)
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| Steven
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Aah! Aah!
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| (The car door opens and Kevin steps out, flicking his hair.)
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| Kevin
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What are you doing Saturday night?
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| (Steven stares at Kevin, unamused, and starts to walk away to pick up his flyers. Kevin runs after him in shock.)
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| Kevin
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Hey! Listen! Little kid!
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| Steven
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Beat it, Kevin.
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| Kevin
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I'm throwing a party at my parents' palatial estate. All the coolest teens in Delmarva have RSVP'd, except one; the only one cooler than I am.
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| Steven
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Are you... talking about me?
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| Kevin
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What? No! Eww! I'm talking about Stevonnie.
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| Steven
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W-W-What?! You can't just- *grumbles* This is the last thing I need right now.
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| Kevin
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Look, Stevonnie is better than me, okay? Better dancer, better driver. Stevonnie truly does not care what anyone thinks. That's why they're the coolest. If I can't be the coolest, I at least got to be seen hanging with the coolest.
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| Steven
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Stevonnie only exists when Connie and I are together, and we're... I'm not coming.
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| Kevin
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*sighs* Great. So I invited that other kid for nothing. *walks back to his car*
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| Steven
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...Wh- Connie's going?!
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| (Steven drops all of his fliers and runs after Kevin, panting.)
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| Kevin
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Of course she's going. No one turns down an invitation to a Kevin party.
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| Steven
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But she can't stand you. Why would she- *gasps* Wait! Did you say all of this to her, too?! Does she think I'm- *trips and falls, grunting* -I'm gonna be there?
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| (Kevin gets into his car and starts the engine, as Steven frantically tries to talk to him.)
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| Steven
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Is it too late to RSVP?
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| (Kevin rolls down his window.)
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| Kevin
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Yes. But! I'll make an exception... for Stevonnie.
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| (Kevin drives away, but immediately returns.)
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| Kevin
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Wait. What's your number? I'll text you the address.
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| Steven
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Oh. Yeah, uhh, 301-555...
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| Kevin
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*rolls his eyes* Here, you enter it. *hands Steven his phone*
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| Steven
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Okay, uh, how do I...?
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| Kevin
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You roll the little ball to navigate.
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| Steven
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The screen is so tiny. *enters his contact details* Here. *hands Kevin back his phone*
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| Kevin
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Huh, your name's Steven? Weird. I thought it was Clarence. See you at the party Saturday, Steven.
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| (Kevin turns his car around and drives away, leaving Steven behind.)
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| [Trans. Kevin's Estate, Night-time]
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| (Steven arrives in the backyard of Kevin's estate, and mid-tempo music and lots of chattering are heard. As Steven nervously walks in, he draws the attention of several party-goers.)
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| Kevin
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Steven! What took you so long?!
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| Steven
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I-I got lost coming up the driveway.
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| Derrick
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Yo, Kev, who invited the 7-year-old, bro?
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| Kevin
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Hey, shut your mouth, Derrick! I thought I told you to go buy more ice! *looks at Steven and cringes* Ugh. You just come from picture day at school or something?
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| Steven
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I brought snacks?
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| (Kevin grabs Steven's snacks and throws them away.)
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| Steven
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Wha...? Aah!
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| Kevin
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This party is lame enough as it is. Look at these people!
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| (The party-goers who were staring at Steven earlier quickly return to their previous activities.)
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| Kevin
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This is forgettable! But not for long. Every time Stevonnie shows up on the scene, everybody's talking about it. And when Stevonnie shows up at my party, everyone's gonna be talking about this night until they're old grandparents. And their last words to their grandchildren will be, "Kevin throws the best parties."
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| (Steven chuckles nervously, when he notices Lion standing with some of the party-goers some distance away.)
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| Steven
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Um... Lion?! *turns to Kevin* Wait, you're the one who had him the whole time?!
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| Kevin
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What? Ugh! No, I'm allergic to dogs.
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| Steven
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Then what's he doing here?
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| (Lion moves away, and Steven gasps as he sees Connie standing besides Lion. Both Connie's and Steven's eyes meet, and Steven hides behind Kevin in hesitation.)
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| Steven
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Connie!
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| Kevin
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Hey!
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| Steven
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I haven't seen her in so long. She looks so different. Ugh! *crotches down* I thought she'd be here to see me, but maybe she's just here to have a good time. Maybe she's moved on.
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| Kevin
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She's moved on? Wait, did you guys break up? Can 7-year-olds even do that?
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| Steven
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I'm 14.
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| Kevin
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You didn't tell me you guys broke up. You got a free ticket to what would have been the best teen party in Delmarva. But now it's just some sad kid party getting crashed by a couple of sad kids!
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| Steven
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All right, okay. I'm- I'm leaving.
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| Kevin
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*inhales* No. When did this happen?
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| Steven
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A few weeks ago.
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| Kevin
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Hmm... You been texting her?
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| Steven
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Several dozen times.
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| Kevin
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*sighs* She text you back?
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| Steven
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Umm... No...?
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| Kevin
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Hmm... But she knew you'd be here.
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| Steven
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Right! Right. I'll- I'll just go talk to her. *blushes and tears up* I'll- I'll just go tell her how sorry I am. I-I really messed up. *sniffles* I-I was an idiot! And I-
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| (Steven begins walking toward Connie, but Kevin grabs him and pulls him away.)
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| Kevin
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Whoa! No no no no no no no no no. Okay, kid, listen. I wouldn't normally do this, because you're a pitiful kid with snot coming out of your nose...
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| (Steven sobs and sniffles.)
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| Kevin
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...But I need those old people to whisper my name when they die. And if you don't pull it together, you're gonna regret it. And it'll be Sabina all over again!
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| Steven
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Wh-Who's- *sniffles* Who's Sabina?
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| (Kevin's face turns red in embarrassment and frustration, but he immediately composes himself.)
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| Kevin
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You can't just dump your emotional honesty face all over her. You're gonna freak her out!
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| Steven
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*sniffles* I-I just want us to talk again.
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| Kevin
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Exactly. But look what she's doing. Life is good. She's got a dog now.
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| Steven
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*sighs* And a haircut.
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| Kevin
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Right. But your life is good, too. You don't need to talk to her either. You've got new stuff going on: new friends, new shirt.
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| Steven
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She gave this to me for my birthday.
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| Kevin
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*unimpressed* Ughh... Derrick! Gimme your jacket.
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| Kevin walks over to Derrick.
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| Derrick
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What? No. Dude! Aah!
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| Kevin
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Derrick! Give me the-
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| Derrick
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Come on!
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| (Kevin wrestles with Derrick off-screen and returns to Steven with Derrick's jacket.)
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| Kevin
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Here. Put this on.
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| Steven
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Your friend looks kind of mad, though.
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| Kevin
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He's not my friend...? Put it on. Collar up.
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| (Steven takes the jacket and puts it on.)
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| Kevin
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Hmm... Not quite cool enough. I got it.
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| (Kevin takes off his scarf and puts it on Steven.)
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| Kevin
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Nice~ It's almost like you have style.
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| Steven
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Why do I need the scarf? It's not even cold out.
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| Kevin
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When you put on a scarf like this, it's always cool. Let's show her what a great time you're having.
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| (Kevin and Steven begin to hang out together by drinking beverages, conversing with the other party-goers, and dancing. Throughout the part, Connie notices Steven hanging out with Kevin and becomes increasingly agitated. Late into the party, Steven and Kevin lounge on the steps of the patio, when Kevin notices Connie glancing over at them, who quickly turns away.)
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| Kevin
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*smirks* Hey, kid, you should say hi to Connie.
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| Steven
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So I can tell her about my feelings?
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| Kevin
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No. Be casual. You're showing her how you have it together. You're not dying to talk to her because you're not dying at all. You're living. Make her want that life with you.
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| Steven
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Kevin, that- that's kind of moving.
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| Kevin
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So move already. Walk over, be cool, and walk away.
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| Steven
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Got it!
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| (Steven beings walking toward Connie. He turns around partway and waves at Kevin, who stares back nonchalantly, before continuing toward Connie.)
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| Steven
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*to himself* Okay. Be cool. Be cool, yeah. Be cool. *reaches Connie* Hey!
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| Connie
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Hi.
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| Steven
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*coughs* Nice weather you're wearing.
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| Connie
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Uhh... I got your texts.
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| Steven
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Oh, yeah. I forgot about those, because I've been living.
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| Connie
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Wha...?
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| Steven
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Welp, back to my great life. Uh, chowzers.
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| (Steven turns away nervously and runs back to Kevin.)
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| Steven
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*whimpering* That was terrible! This is all wrong, Kevin!
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| Kevin
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No way. Look, little man. Your girl's making her way back for more.
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| (Connie runs up to Steven.)
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| Connie
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Steven! What is going on?! I came here hoping we could talk, but it seems like you only want to talk to Kevin! I guess Kevin is your best friend now!
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| Steven & Kevin
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What? No, no, no!
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| Connie
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*sighs, flustered* Anyway, I'm glad you're doing well. That's... all I really wanted to know. *walks away*
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| Steven
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No, no! But-But you're my best friend!
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| Kevin
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Best friend?! What are you kids even talking about? I thought she was your ex. Great. Now what am I gonna do? Think, Kevin. How do people treat their friends?
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| (Kevin begins stressing himself, and Steven runs after Connie, who is about to get onto Lion's back.)
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| Steven
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Connie! Wait, wait, Connie. Don't go.
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| Connie
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Steven, I wasn't trying to ignore you. I was going to text you back. I-I wrote, "I can't talk to you right now." But then I realized if I sent it, that would be talking to you. And it didn't make any sense- I wasn't making any sense. If we were going to talk, I thought it's got to be in person. So I rode Lion to your house, but there was a note that said, "Gone vacationing", and then I ran into Kevin and he said you'd be here, but, uhh, maybe this is still too soon. I-I don't even know what to say to you. I'm... angry? I miss you? I feel like I'm out of my mind.
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| Steven
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No, you're not. I surrendered myself to Homeworld. I let them take me away, maybe forever, and then I came back and I tried to act like it was no big deal. But it was a big deal. I couldn't stand the thought of you being taken away on that spaceship, but... Then I did that to you. I promised you we'd always be a team, and... I let you down. I'm sorry. Jam buds?
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| Connie
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Jam buds.
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| (Steven and Connie tear up and hug each other.)
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| Connie
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It's so good to talk to you. I've been wanting to see you so bad I accepted a party invitation from Kevin.
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| Steven
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*chuckles* I know. I took his advice. *chuckles* I think he got his heart broken, i-it's actually really sad. *takes off the clothes Kevin gave him*
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| Connie
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*chuckles* Of course he did. *chuckles* Hey, nice shirt.
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| Steven
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Nice hair.
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| Connie
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*giggles* Thank you.
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| Kevin
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All right!
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| (After observing Steven and Connie reconciling with each other, Kevin eagerly grabs a microphone and speaks into it.)
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| Kevin
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Hey, everybody, are you having fun?
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| Party-Goers
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Yeah!
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| Kevin
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Liars! You're all so fake. You make me sick. But get ready. I'm gonna introduce you to somebody so real you'll all feel as sick as me! This party starts now! Children! Go!
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| (Loud music begins to play to cue the special appearance, but Steven and Connie climb onto Lion instead.)
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| Connie
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It's pretty late. We should head out.
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| Steven
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Thanks for all your help, Kevin.
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| Kevin
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Wha? *drops the microphone in shock* You got to do the thing! What did I help you for if you're not gonna elevate my party?
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| (Lion begins walking away.)
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| Kevin
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Wha...?! Hey! Don't you walk away from m
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| (Kevin attempts to chase after Lion but falls into the pool, not realizing Lion is standing on water. Kevin emerges on the water surface, gasping for air, and Derrick laughs at him off-screen.)
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| Kevin
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Shut up, Derrick!
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| Connie
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If it helps, Kevin, I think you threw a very nice party.
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| Steven
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Mm-hmm. Good night!
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| (Lion roars open a magical portal and jumps through it.)
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| Kevin
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No! Wait!
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| (The party-goers cheer and clap as Lion disappears through the portal. The star iris then closes in on Kevin, groaning in misery and frustration.)
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| [END]
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