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This is a transcribed copy of "Lars' Head". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Off Colors" Next: "Dewey Wins"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Int. Homeworld Kindergarten]
(Following the events in "Off Colors", Steven and the Off-Colors observes in awe as the recently-resurrected Lars wakes up from his supposed-death.)
Lars *groans* What the heck just happened?-
Steven *hugs Lars tightly* Lars! You saved us! You stopped the Robonoids, but- but one of them exploded, and- and you weren't moving, and I started crying. *gasps in realization* I brought you back to life! It was an accident. I mean, I probably would've done that on purpose if I had known I could do that, but I didn't really ask your permission, so I'm sorry.
Lars *confused* Back to life? So I was... away from life? Aah! *looks at his body* I'm pink!
Steven Ah! I know! Do you feel okay?
Lars I don't... really know.
Steven But your body, are you sore?
Lars No.
Steven Are you tired?
Lars ... No.
Steven Do you feel good?
Lars No?
Steven Do you feel bad?
Lars No?! I guess I just feel really freaked out?
Steven Well, I am, too, so at least we're on the same page here.
(Looming noise are then heard in the distance.)
Rhodonite They're back. Those Shattering Robonoids are back!
Fluorite Quickly... Block the entrance...
(The Rutile Twins, Rhodonite and Fluorite run off to block the entrance.)
Steven Lars, you stay here and rest. *follows the others*
Lars All right.
Padparadscha I predict, Lars will change in hue. What a mystery!
(Rhodonite and the Rutile Twins begin pushing a large rock towards the entrance. Steven quickly joins them and pushes the rock with great strength, surprising the other two Gems.)
Rutile Twins Whoa, strong.
(Steven, Rhodonite and the Rutile Twins successfully pushes the rock into place.)
Rhodonite Is this gonna be enough?
(The red scanning beams from the Robnoids shine from the gap in the entrance are heard, and the noises fades in distance, as the Robonoids move on elsewhere.)
Fluorite have...overlooked us...for...the time...being...
Padparadscha Quickly, block the entrance!
Steven As long as I'm here, they're gonna keep coming after us.
Rhodonite It's true. This was a horrible plan.
Steven Should we try to find a new hiding spot?
Rhodonite No, no, no! If we leave this cavern, we'll be completely exposed.
Fluorite But...if we stay here, ...they'll...find us...for...sure...
Rutile Twins So, we either stay here and get caught... Or we go out there and get caught.
Lars So wait... am I a zombie now?!
Steven No!? Well... No! You can talk, and zombies can't do that. I must've healed you. I've healed people before, just never this much.
Lars Just admit it, Steven! I'm a zombie!
Steven Oh, I know. A zombie wouldn't have a heartbeat.
(Steven puts his ear against Lars' chest and immediately sweats in deep concerns, hearing a slow heartbeat.)
Steven That's, uhh... Pretty slow. But I think we can rule out pink zombie.
Rutile Twins Thank the stars. What's a zombie?
Rhodonite I can't believe humans just change color like this.
Steven They don't. Well, I guess if you get really cold, you turn blue. And if you get really embarrassed, you turn red.
Rhodonite So what does pink mean? Is Lars gonna explode or something?
Rutile Twins Maybe then Lars will reform with a different color.
Fluorite I'm...sure...whatever color...Lars...chooses...will be...lovely...
Lars *kneels down* But why am I pink? *groans in misery*
Steven Even your hair is different.
(Steven touches Lars' hair, causing it to glow, and Lars immediately backs off in shock.)
Lars Aah! What was that? *touches his hair* Huh? It, like, lit up, right? You saw it, too.
Steven Uh, yeah!
Lars What did you do? Do it again.
(Steven touches Lars' hair and it glows where his fingers are phasing into it.)
Lars Why is it doing that?
Steven Lars, I think I know what this is. There's something I can try, but no. You don't want me going in your head.
Lars You're going to... possess me again?
Steven No. It would be more literal.
Lars Then what is it?
Steven Forget it.
Lars Look, Steven, I'm not gonna get mad, okay? I trust you, just... Help me out here. If I've got magic hair now, I want to know.
Steven *smiles* Everyone stand back.
(Rhodonite and the Rutile Twins take a few steps back. After a brief pause, Padparadscha does the same.)
Steven All right, now just bend down.
Lars *complies* Like this?
Steven Now, you might feel a slight foot in your head.
Lars Wait, wha-
(Steven sticks his foot into Lars' hair, everyone gasps in surprise as Lars groans in repulsion.)
Rhodonite What is happening? They're fusing! They're fusing, right?
Steven You're doing great, Lars.
Lars Uhh... Okay?
(Steven climbs into Lars' head, takes a deep breath and dives into it, disappearing completely.)
[Trans. Int. Pink Dimension]
(Steven pops out in the middle of a vast pink savannah and sees a small hill with a tree resembling an oak. He turns around and sees another tree on a hill. Steven approaches it and notices Rose's belongings around it: her battle flag, a Mr. Universe shirt, and a chest. In a brief realization, Steven glances back at the other tree, before diving into the pink grass.)
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Steven pops out of Lion's mane, who is abruptly woken up from his sleep, and gasps for air, finding himself back in a dark and quiet beach house.)
Steven Ah. I'm home. *gets up* I'm home! Guys? Where are they? *notices a glass on the kitchen counter* Water!
(Steven quickly fills up the glass with water from the faucet and drinks deeply. He then fills up another glassful and drinks again, sighing in relief. Just then, his stomach starts to gurgle.)
Steven *gasps* Food.
(Steven quickly makes himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and begins eating it, as tears roll down his face.)
Steven Life is beautiful!
(Steven begins packing a paper bag full with food and drink)
Steven Got to bring some back for Lars. Wish I could tell everyone I'm okay.
(Lion walks up to Steven and gazes at him intently. Steven covers his mouth in another realization and holds Lion's cheek.)
Steven Oh, Lion. So you were- *sighs* Gosh, there- there's so much I want to ask you. If only you could talk.
(Lion bends his head down to Steven without prompt.)
Steven Thanks, buddy.
(Steven sticks his hand into Lion's mane, preparing to enter the pink dimension again.)
[Trans. Int. Homeworld Kindergarten]
(Lars is poking his arm to check for his skin retention, when Steven suddenly emerges from his hair, gasping for air.)
Steven & Lars Aah!
(Lars loses his balance and falls onto the back, and Steven tumbles out of his head. Lars groans as he and Steven get up.)
Steven Sorry, Lars.
Lars So what happened? What's in my head?
Steven Home.
Lars Wha?
Steven Everyone, I've made an amazing discovery! I just traveled back to planet Earth by going through Lars' head!
Lars You went back to Earth? What the heck? Is my head like a wormhole?
Steven No, it's way simpler than that. You see, I have a pink pet lion who belonged to my mom when she was still here, and it turns out I can go into his mane, and it transports me to a magical dimension where my mom kept a bunch of artifacts on a hill with a tree, and for some reason, I can't breathe in there. But anyway, when I went into Lars' head, I got transported to the same magical dimension, but it was a new part of it, but since the two are connected, I could reach the portal that leads out of Lion's mane, which is back on Earth!
Lars *dumbstruck* Uhh...
Steven *offers Lars a sandwich* Here, I brought you some food.
Lars Huh? Thanks, but I-I'll save it for later.
Steven But, aren't you hungry? Maybe you only eat magical lizards now like Lion. A-Are you hungry for lizards?
Lars No, I do not want a lizard.
Steven But you haven't eaten in days.
Lars I know. There must be pink magic in my guts now or something.
Rhodonite *picks up a juice box* What is this box?
Steven It's juice. We drink it back on Earth.
Rhodonite What?
Rutile Twins That's impossible.
Rhodonite Earth?
Rutile Twins There's no way.
Rhodonite Unh-unh.
Padparadscha Steven's back.
Rutile Twins That can't be. I'm incredulous.
Steven Why can't it be?
Fluorite Everyone...knows...that...the Earth...
Rhodonite *interrupts Fluorite* Was decimated by the Diamond attack! Sorry.
Steven It's not like that. The Diamonds did attack, but there are still Gems living on Earth, and the planet's full of life. *holds up bag of a chips* It grew the potatoes that became these chips. *holds up a sandwich* And grew the wheat that eventually became the flour that eventually became the bread that eventually became this sandwich!
Rutile Twins Sand... wich?
Rhodonite But why would Gems still live there?
Steven Because the Earth is a place where we can be ourselves. We can live freely without having to hide who we are.
Rutile Twins Live freely? Without, having to hide?
Fluorite That...sounds...won...derful...
Steven It is. And now that we have this portal, we can all go there.
Lars All? How am I supposed to go through my own head?
Steven Ohh... Hmm...
[Trans. Int. Pink Dimension]
(Steven tries pulling Lars' arm and the rest of his body into the dimension through his own hair.)
Lars *grunts in pain* Stop! You're gonna break my elbow!
Steven *leaves Lars' hair* Okay, so that didn't work, but I'm sure there's another way.
Lars No, no, look. I get it. Everyone just go, and I'll stay here. There's no other way out. I'm it. The Earth is way better than this. There's no robots flying around. Just seagulls that fly in front of the sunset and it's beautiful! Just go, you'll see. I took it for granted, so don't pass up this chance!
Rhodonite Well, if you insist.
(Rhodonite begins walking forward, but the Rutile Twins stop her.)
Fluorite We...won' it. ...Not if it means...leaving you...behind...
Lars What?! I'm trying to perform a beautiful act over here.
Fluorite We...know...this...planet. ...We've...been...hiding in these tunnels...for eons. ...You'll...need help you...get around. ...Besides,
Rutile Twins We'll get to Earth another way. We'll find an alternate route.
Lars *points at Steven* But you've got to go back.
Steven But it doesn't feel right to just leave you here.
Lars You said yourself that everyone on this planet is out to get you. You won't be safe until you're back on Earth.
Steven But, Lars-
Lars Don't argue with me! You're always trying to help me. You brought me back to life. Just... Let me be somebody who deserved it.
Steven All right, I'll tell everyone you're okay. I'll be back. I can bring whatever you need. Be careful, okay?
Fluorite We...will...
Padparadscha We can't leave without Lars!
Rhodonite We'll see you on Earth, I hope. No, no, no. We will!
(Steven places his hand on Lars' chest. Lars pushes his hand out of the way and hugs Steven instead, who embraces him in return.)
Steven Umm... If you could just...
Lars Oh, yeah.
(Lars bends his head down to Steven.)
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Steven climbs back out Lion's mane, just as the Crystal Gems, Connie, and Greg shortly warp in on the Crystal Temple Warp Pad, still depressed over Steven's surrender.)
Pearl This is hopeless.
(Steven gasps in surprise.)
Pearl *pacing around in panic* We'll never get that dropship to fly, and we're losing time! Who knows what they're doing to Steven. Hi Steven. What are we going to d- *notices Steven*
Steven I'm back!
(Everyone reacts in sheer joy and surprise at Steven's return, and they all rush to embrace Steven. The star iris then closes on Steven's face, overjoyed to be back home.)

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus