Lars Barriga/Quotes

Non-Canon

“	You're not exactly a hot girl, Steven.	”
—"Pilot"

“	Oh no-ho-ho-ho! Our shiiiiip!	”
—"Say Uncle"

Season 1

“	Well, if you miss your wimpy ice cream so much, why don’t you make some with your "magic belly button"?	”
—"Gem Glow"

“	I don’t even like fries!	”
—"Frybo"

“	Steven: You're right! And he doesn't have any friends. Oh my gosh. It's just like you, Steven.	”
—"Cat Fingers"

“	Way to go, Steven! Is this your magical love bubble or something? Did you make it because you're in looove?	”
—"Bubble Buddies"

“	What? I'm helping Steven on his date.	”
—"Bubble Buddies"

“	That little guy's gonna get creamed.	”
—"Tiger Millionaire"

“	Aahahahaha! Classic! Tiger! Hey Tiger! Would you sign this? It would be so rad!	”
—"Tiger Millionaire"

“	He's awful because he hurt me specifically.	”
—"Tiger Millionaire"

“	Ha, you must be confused pal, I work here everyday and I've never seen your mug before.	”
—"So Many Birthdays"

“	I don't spend my whole life at work. I do... other things.	”
—"Lars and the Cool Kids"

“	Steven, you were blocking me with your... big hair! Aah!	”
—"Lars and the Cool Kids"

“	This is all your fault! I knew if something went wrong today it would be because of you! Now I'm never going to be friends with these guys. All because of your... weird mom!	”
—"Lars and the Cool Kids"

“	Toughen UP, Steven!	”
—"Coach Steven"

“	If I weren't so modest, I'd whip out my sweet six-pack and show you what... a real man... looks like!	”
—"Coach Steven"

“	We're not MARRIED!	”
—"Coach Steven"

“	We've been working out. You've just been singing some dumb song.	”
—"Coach Steven"

“	Ugh... What the heck just happened?	”
—"Coach Steven"

“	Ugh, Steven! Who do you think has to clean up this mess? Sadie, clean up this mess.	”
—"Joking Victim"

“	It’s no problem, cause I got the whole day off by faking a severe back injury!	”
—"Joking Victim"

“	Yo, Sadie, where you at? Are you slacking off?	”
—"Joking Victim"

“	You... did... this to me?!	”
—"Joking Victim"

“	Er, watch where you're going, you little... Ssssteven!	”
—"Mirror Gem"

“	You bet I do! All those out-of-town summer babes traveling away from home without their boyfriends, if you know what I mean.	”
—"Mirror Gem"

“	Yes! Babe city, here we com- Whoa!	”
—"Ocean Gem"

“	Wha--huh? Sadie! I like, just got to sleep! Now I have to start all over!	”
—"Island Adventure"

“	I'm sick of this place. I wanna go somewhere new.	”
—"Island Adventure"

“	If I'm going to be bored out of my mind, and possibly die, I'm gonna go to work, and get paid for it.	”
—"Island Adventure"

“	Sadie...? Do you ever get lonely... even when you're around people...?	”
—"Island Adventure"

“	Yeah... that was really great how you... uh, s-saved me....	”
—"Island Adventure"

“	Hey, Sadie, come on, we got to open up! What in the world did you guys watch?	”
—"Lion 3: Straight to Video"

“	Ha— ha— how can I— help... me?	”
—"Alone Together"

“	Criminey! Are you okay?! That coffee was really hot!	”
—"Future Vision"

“	More like comedy club.	”
—"Horror Club"

“	What? I've seen that. It's boring. And that stupid fake C.G. bear! Hardly looks like it's really killing anybody.	”
—"Horror Club"

“	We're all just hearing things and seeing things and feeling things that aren't real.	”
—"Horror Club"

“	Why does everything bad happen to me?	”
—"Horror Club"

“	Ahhh, whatever. It didn't matter. I don't care!	”
—"Horror Club"

“	Buck, Buck, Buuuuuuuuck! Haha! What's going on man?	”
—"Shirt Club"

“	What the—?! What is this garbage? Buck made this? This is hilarious! Thaaanks Buuuck.	”
—"Shirt Club"

“	It's a real pain in the- *sits on the boxes, accidentally staining his pants in melted ice cream* Gwahh! Ugh...	”
—"Political Power"

Season 3

“	Eating poop would be better than this.	”
—"The New Lars"

“	I was acting weird all day and you all just LIKED IT?!	”
—"The New Lars"

“	Every day in Beach City is weird. That's why I hate it here.	”
—"The New Lars"

“	Go annoy someone else. You little weirdo.	”
—"The New Lars"

Season 4

“	Ugh, look at its face!	”
—"Future Boy Zoltron"

“	Tiger... He left wrestling at the height of his career! *groaning* Why...?	”
—"Tiger Philanthropist"

“	You and your theory. Steven is not Tiger! Tiger's ripped and like seven feet tall!	”
—"Tiger Philanthropist"

“	Steven: What do you want him to do!? Just tell meeeee! I don't know! I don't even know what I want for breakfast half the time! I'm a complex individual teenage boy. Now get out of here and stop taking such a personal interest in my habits and well-being!	”
—"Tiger Philanthropist"

“	Booooo! Philanthrophy is laaame!	”
—"Tiger Philanthropist"

“	How can this be happening! It was just getting good! You can't quit now! TIIIGEEERR!! *sobs*	”
—"Tiger Philanthropist"

“	Be honest, but not too honest.	”
—"The Good Lars"

“	Hahaha ha that is funny Buck, it sounds great! Super cool! can't wait, bingo bongo.	”
—"The Good Lars"

“	Because it's lame, Steven! If I show up to this party with my family's weird purple cake and with Sadie, everybody's gonna know I love baking and everybody's gonna know I love... This isn't gonna be an ironic potluck. It's gonna be, like, family, couple, neighbor, actual potluck, and I'm gonna be there being all 'bingo, bongo'.	”
—"The Good Lars"

Season 5

“	Steven: Well, everyone else managed to get off the ship. So, where were you? I ran and hid, Steven, like any sensible person would... do, if they wanted to get trapped on a ship. Oh.	”
—"Stuck Together"

“	Sadie was in trouble, and I didn't do anything. Actually, wait. I did do something. I ran and hid just like I always do. Just like I ran from the potluck. Steven: But you were abducted. That's not your fault. No, I trashed my roll and ran away. Then I was abducted. Oh, why couldn't I just let people eat my food?!	”
—"Stuck Together"

“	You feeling cozy, you big banana?	”
—"Stuck Together"

“	Why do you think I'm capable of anything?! You think I can do all this stuff, but I can't! I can't because... I'm a wuss, Steven. I'm just... *sniffles* ...afraid. I've always just been stupid and afraid. *begins tearing up* Not like you. You're always helping people. You're never afraid. *sobs*	”
—"Stuck Together"

“	Steven, what's going on here?! Where are we? Who are those huge giant ladies!?	”
—"The Trial"

“	Hurry up and drive this thing! Those giant crazy chicks aren't going to be distracted forever!	”
—"The Trial"

“	Salt is a rock, right? Maybe we could season some dirt and make a meal.	”
—"Off Colors"

“	Wait! If we stand perfectly still it won't see us. I saw it in a movie once!	”
—"Off Colors"

“	You just don't get it. I hate being scared all the time! I was scared of everything except baking. Actually, I was scared of that too. I never even tried baking baklava because it looked so hard! I never had the guts to stick up for anybody. Not even me! And now I'm hiding again like a big, cowardly loser under some... space building!	”
—"Off Colors"

“	It's okay to be afraid.	”
—"Off Colors"

“	I think... that's the coolest thing I've done in my life.	”
—"Off Colors"

“	Eat THIS!	”
—"Off Colors"

“	Ugh... Whoa... What happened?	”
—"Off Colors"

“	Back to life? So I was... away from life? Aah! I'm pink!	”
—"Lars' Head"

“	So wait... am I a zombie now?!	”
—"Lars' Head"

“	You brought me back to life! Just let me be someone who deserves it.	”
—"Lars' Head"

“	You'll never take us alive, Emerald!	”
—"Lars of the Stars"

“	If this ship means so much to you, maybe you shouldn't have left it unguarded in the docking bay of Klavius 7. Emerald: There were 67 elite Citrines guarding it! Oh. I didn't see them. No, wait. I did. They didn't see us!	”
—"Lars of the Stars"

“	And now a few stolen ships and a couple of space crimes later, we're finally on a course toward Earth.	”
—"Lars of the Stars"

“	You don't get it, do you, Steven? *begins tearing up and sniffles* It should be me. *starts crying* I'm the one that should be hanging out with the Cool Kids! She's getting back at me for everything I've done!	”
—"Lars of the Stars"

“	No! I'm doing this because I have to. *tears up* I'd never do this to hurt Sadie because-	”
—"Lars of the Stars"

“	With a ship like that, Emerald could wipe us out in an instant, if she really wanted to.	”
—"Lars of the Stars"

“	I'd never surrender to you! Blow us into stardust like you've always dreamed of.	”
—"Lars of the Stars"

“	You're not going to hurt the ship! You love this ship! It's your... best friend. You'd much rather let it get away than destroy it.	”
—"Lars of the Stars"

“	Keep searching! We're not giving up on them, no matter what!	”
—"Jungle Moon"

“	Hah! Looks like we just saved your butts! Let's get you up here and back home through my head.	”
—"Jungle Moon"

“	Captain's Log: I think it's Friday. I've ordered Rhodonite to do a spectral scan of the system. Hopefully one of these asteroids has the flotanium deposits we need to get our warp engines back online.	”
—"Letters to Lars"

“	I appreciate the letter, but why'd you write this if you were just gonna tell me everything in person anyway?	”
—"Letters to Lars"

“	You realize I don't know who half of these people are right? Like, who the heck is Peridot?	”
—"Letters to Lars"

“	Huh. Thanks for the letter, Steven.	”
—"Letters to Lars"

“	Welcome home, guys.	”
—"Change Your Mind"

Steven Universe Future

“	Hey Sadie, I've got your moon cakes. Sadie: Thanks. Sure. So, how's stuff going with Shep?	”
—"Little Graduation"

“	Besides, I'm leaving anyway. Now that the Off Colors are done with school, we're going to head back into space. Steven: *gasps* But what about the shop? I asked Blue Lace to take over. I'm ready to move on. You get it, right? You're finished setting up the school. Don't you want to try something new?	”
—"Little Graduation"

“	Steven: H-hold on! A-are you okay? Yeah. Are you okay?	”
—"Little Graduation"

“	I think I'm gonna bounce. I just wanted to be here for the crew. These big parties aren't really my thing.	”
—"Little Graduation"

“	Sadie knows I miss her, but she knows how happy I am that she found someone better for her.	”
—"Little Graduation"

“	I'm leaving because I like being in space. There are still adventures waiting for us out there. We can take what we've learned to other planets!	”
—"Little Graduation"

“	Steven: Look! If I don't figure out how to get rid of this dome, all my friends are gonna die! Wouldn't be the first time.	”
—"Little Graduation"

“	Sadie: We'll still be your friends. Even if we're light-years away.	”
—"Little Graduation"