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{{Transcriptbox}}
 
{{Transcriptbox}}
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{{TranscriptH|
[Open Ext. [[Beach Citywalk Fries]], [[Beach City]] - [[Steven Universe (character)|Steven]], [[Amethyst]], and [[Mr. Fryman]]]
 
  +
{{TD||[Open Ext. [[Beach Citywalk Fries]]]}}
 
(Steven and Amethyst run toward the counter of Beach Citywalk Fries)
+
{{TD||(''[[Steven]] and [[Amethyst]] run towards the counter of Beach Citywalk Fries., as [[Mr. Fryman]] is entering the building.'') }}
  +
{{TD|Steven |Hey, Fryman, give me the bits! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Mr. Fryman |*flips a "We're Closed!" sign* Steven! We’re closed. }}
'''Steven''': Hey, Fryman, give me the bits!
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*disappointed* Aww, what? }}
 
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{{TD|Amethyst |*hits counter* Give 'em the bits! *chants while continuously hitting the counter* The BITS. The BITS.}}
'''Mr. Fryman''': *flips sign* Steven! We’re closed.
 
  +
{{TD||(''Steven joins in the chanting.'') }}
 
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{{TD|Steven & Amethyst|*both chanting* The BITS! The BITS! The BITS!- *banging on counter*}}
'''Steven''': *disappointed* Aww, what?
 
  +
{{TD|Mr. Fryman |Okay, okay! Take it easy on the counter, will ya? *goes to retrieve the fry bits* }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven & Amethyst |Yes! *hi-fives* }}
'''Amethyst''': *hits counter* Give 'em the bits! *chants while continuously hitting the counter* The bits, the bits...*Steven joins in*
 
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{{TD|Mr. Fryman |*empties the bits into a paper bag* I can give you actual fries if you want. *hands the bag to Steven*}}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Just the bits, please. *takes the bag* Thanks! *Amethyst and him start walking away while eating the bits* Ah, sunset, my favorite time of day. When the sun goes down, and the second sun gets bigger and bigger in the sky. }}
'''Steven & Amethyst''': *both chanting* The BITS! The BITS! The BITS! *banging on counter*
 
  +
{{TD|Amethyst |*bursts out laughing* Yeah, that big hot second su— *long gasps, noticing a strange orb in the sky* Oh no, what is that doing here? }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Huh? What is it? (''Amethyst picks him up, causing him to drop the bag of bits.'') Ah, my bits! (''Amethyst carries him away.''}}
'''Mr. Fryman''': Okay, okay! Take it easy on the counter, will ya? *goes to cook fry bits*
 
  +
{{TD||[Trans. beach near [[Crystal Temple]]]}}
 
  +
{{TD||(''[[Garnet]] and [[Pearl]], looking through a telescope, are observing the strange orb.'')}}
'''Steven & Amethyst''': Yes! *high-five each other*
 
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{{TD|Garnet |This is bad.}}
 
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{{TD|Pearl |Look at the size of it, I had no idea these things were so big! }}
'''Mr. Fryman''': *hands him a bag of fry bits* I can give you actual fries if you want.
 
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{{TD|Amethyst | Garnet! Pearl! *running towards them carrying Steven*}}
 
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{{TD|Pearl |*visibly annoyed* We saw. Some of us are trying to protect humanity. Where were you? }}
'''Steven''': Just the bits, please. *takes bag* Thanks. *walking away with Amethyst picks a handful of bits* Ah, sunset, my favorite time of day. When the sun goes down, and the ''second sun'' gets bigger and bigger in the sky.
 
  +
{{TD|Amethyst |*puts Steven down* ... Eating fry bits. (''Pearl groans.'') }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Oh, can I see? *peers through the telescope* Woah. (''The orb rotates and opens into a eye.'') It's a giant eyeball! Awesome! }}
'''Amethyst''': *bursts out laughing* Yeah, that big hot second su— *gasps, notices the [[Red Eye]]* Oh no, what is '''''THAT''''' doing here?
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl | ''NOT'' awesome! It's '''''a [[Red Eye]]!''''' }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |A red eye?! It’s going to infect us all! }}
'''Steven''': What is it? *Amethyst picks him up and runs while Steven drops his bits* Ah, my bits!
 
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{{TD|Garnet |That’s ''pink'' eye, Steven. (''Amethyst laughs.'') }}
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |It’s going to crash into [[Beach City]] and crush us, along with a bunch of oblivious, innocent people! We have to stop it. }}
[Beach- [[Pearl]] and [[Garnet]], Pearl staring at Red Eye through [[telescope]]]
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |What are we going to do? }}
 
  +
{{TD|Garnet |*adjusts her visor* The only thing powerful enough to destroy it is a [[Laser Light Cannon (object)|Laser Cannon]] that belonged to [[Rose Quartz]]. }}
'''Garnet''': This is bad.
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |My mom? }}
 
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{{TD|Amethyst |*moans* If Rose were here, this would be so easy. }}
'''Pearl''': *peering through telescope* Look at the ''size'' of it, I had no idea these things were SO BIG!
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |I know, but she’s not, and the cannon is missing. We’ll have to find another solution. }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |If it belonged to my mom, I bet my [[Greg Universe|dad]] knows where it is. He can help us save the day! (''The [[Crystal Gems]] are speechless.'') Huh? Ehh!? }}
'''Amethyst''': *running towards them carrying Steven* Garnet! Pearl!
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl | Greg is... nice, Steven, but I doubt Rose would entrust someone like him with such a powerful weapon. }}
 
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{{TD|Amethyst |Your dad is kind of a mess, Steven. *puts her hand on Steven's shoulder* }}
'''Pearl''': We saw. ''Some'' of us are trying to protect humanity. *angry* Where were you?
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |Amethyst! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Amethyst |I’m just sayin’, even if she did leave it with him, he probably broke it, or lost it, or dropped it in the ocean by now. }}
'''Amethyst''': *puts Steven down* ...Eating fry bits. *Pearl sighs*
 
  +
{{TD|Garnet |True. }}
 
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{{TD|Steven |No way, I’m sure he’s just keeping it somewhere safe. I’ll go ask him. }}
'''Steven''': Oh, can I see? *peers* Woah. It's a giant eyeball! Awesome!
 
  +
{{TD|Garnet |We can handle this, Steven. *to Amethyst* Ready? }}
 
  +
{{TD||(''Amethyst nods. Garnet picks her up, leaps into the air and tosses her at the Red Eye. Amethyst hits it with no impact at all and falls into the ocean. Garnet and Pearl are dumbfounded.'') }}
'''Pearl''': *angrily* ''NOT'' awesome! It's a Red Eye!
 
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{{TD|Steven |Ugh... I’m gonna go. }}
 
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{{TD|Pearl |... Okay, good luck. }}
'''Steven''': A Red Eye?! It’s going to infect us all!
 
  +
{{TD||[Ext. [[It's a Wash]]] }}
 
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{{TD|Steven |*banging on the back doors of a [[Greg's Van|van]]* Dad, it’s me! Dad, are you in there? *starts ramming into it* Wake- '''UP!''' We have to ''save the- '''WORLD!''''' *climbs onto the van and start stomping on it* ''Dad!'' *trips and sets off the van's alarm, which he smiles at*}}
'''Garnet''': That’s ''pink'' eye, Steven. *Amethyst laughs*
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |*bursts out of the van* Who’s there?! I have a waffle iron! *wielding a waffle iron*}}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Dad, it’s me! }}
'''Pearl''': It’s going to crash into [[Beach City]] and ''crush'' us, along with a bunch of oblivious, innocent people! We ''have'' to stop it.
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |*turns around and sees him, as he drops the waffle iron and shuts the van alarm off* Steven? (''Steven jumps down of the van and hugs him.'') I almost waffled your face! What are you doing up so late? }}
 
'''Steven''': What are we going to do?
+
{{TD|Steven |What do you mean? The sun just went down an hour ago. }}
  +
{{TD|Greg |Oh, heh. *embarrassed* It was a... slow day at the car wash. Anyway, what’s up? Just needed to see your old man? Pal around? Learn some lessons about life? }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*blushes* No! I need the light cannon that belonged to Mom, to blow up that eyeball! }}
'''Garnet''': *Adjusts visor* The only thing powerful enough to destroy it is a [[Laser Light Cannon (object)|Light Cannon]] that belonged to [[Rose Quartz]].
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |Eyeball? }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |That! *points at the Red Eye* }}
'''Steven''': My mom?
 
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{{TD||(Amethyst is seen flying and yelling towards the Red Eye, hitting it, and falling back into the ocean again.)}}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |Wait, is that a magical thing? The Gems told me not to get involved with magic stuff. It... it could be dangerous or interfere with what’s left of my hair. *rubs the back of his head* }}
'''Amethyst''': *mourns angrily* If Rose were here, this would be ''so'' easy.
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |But they need Mom’s cannon. You've gotta know where it is, like a cave dungeon or a cloud fortress, or in a clam at the bottom of the ocean! (''Greg puts up the waffle iron on the ground, throws it into the van and shuts the doors'')}}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |Well, I don’t know about all that. But I have an idea where it might be. }}
'''Pearl''': I know, but she’s not, and the cannon is missing. We’ll have to find another solution.
 
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{{TD||[Ext. [[U-Stor]]] }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |A magical storage unit! *runs towards the storage building* }}
'''Steven''': If it belonged to my mom, I bet my [[Greg Universe|dad]] knows where it is. He can help us save the day! *silence* Huh? Eah?!
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |Ha, not exactly. But some would say there’s magic inside. *winks at Steven, who looks at him cluelessly* It’s just a shed I use to keep things that don’t fit in the van. If it’s anywhere, it’ll be in here. }}
 
  +
{{TD||(''Greg opens the door and reveals a shed filled to the brim with boxes and clutter. Steven tries to make his way in, but the first few boxes collapse in front of him.'') }}
'''Pearl''': *Sugarcoats her opinion about Greg* Greg is... ''nice'', Steven, but I doubt Rose would entrust someone like ''him'' with such a powerful weapon.
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |If I’m going in there, I’m gonna need some gear. *ties a flashlight to his head with a nearby sock, and an electric cord wrapped around his waist* Here I go. }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |*holding the other end of the cord* Good luck! }}
'''Amethyst''': Your dad is kind of a mess, Steven. *puts hand on Steven's shoulder*
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*crawls into the shed* Woah, cool! It’s like a dad museum. *ventures deeper and notices a long object on the floor* There it is! *pulls it out, revealing to be a golf bag* Do you golf? }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |Eh, I’d like to think of myself as someone who would golf... eventually. }}
'''Pearl''': AMETHYST!
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*sets the golf bag upright and notices another slender object* Hmm, yes! ... *sweeps off the various junk on top of it* A drum. *pats it once and continues rummaging deeper* No, no... *gasps* Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Is this— *shoots a cannon-like object, the projectile unravels into a shirt* “Buy [[T-Shirt Cannon]]s”? *notices a box full of CDs near him* Hey, there’s a bunch of copies of your old CD!}}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |Huh. Oh, man, I couldn’t give those things away. You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country. }}
'''Amethyst''': I’m just sayin’, even if she ''did'' leave it with him, he probably broke it, or lost it, or dropped it in the ocean by now.
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*chuckles as he keeps one of the CDs in his pocket* I know, Dad. }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |When I came to play a concert here in Beach City, no one showed up except— }}
'''Garnet''': True.
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |An ALLIGATOR! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |No, it was your mother. }}
'''Steven''': No way, I’m sure he’s just keeping it somewhere safe. I’ll go ask him.
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Hahaha, I know. *crawls deeper into the shed*}}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |And we were always together after that. Until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world. I don’t know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old ''dope'' like me. }}
'''Garnet''': We can handle this, Steven. *to Amethyst* Ready?
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*accidentally steps on a photo frame of Greg and Rose and gasps* Uh, Dad, I broke a photo. }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |It’s okay buddy. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.}}
(Garnet picks up Amethyst and tosses her at the Red Eye, to no effect, making Amethyst fall into the ocean.)
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*something begins to glow near him* Huh? *gasps* The light cannon! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |*looking at Red Eye, nearer than before* Oh boy, that thing’s giving me the willies. *scratching his chest* }}
'''Steven''': Ugh, I’m gonna go.
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Dad, I found it! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |Really? }}
'''Pearl''': *half-heartedly* ...Okay, good luck.
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*ties the electric cord around the cannon* Get the van! (With the other end tied to his van, Greg pulls the cannon out of the shed, along with all his other possessions, which collapse afterwards.) This thing could save the city, we've gotta get it to the beach! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |How? It’s too big for the van. *a wagon rolls by*}}
[Ext. [[It's A Wash]]- Steven, and [[Greg]] in his [[Greg's Van|Van]] ]
 
  +
{{TD||(''Greg ties the wagon to the van with the electric cord. Steven and Greg lift the heavy cannon.'')}}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg|Easy does it. (''They drop the cannon onto the wagon, and its base breaks from the cannon's weight. Steven and Greg are speechless.'')}}
'''Steven''': *bangs on van doors* Dad, it’s me! Dad, are you in there? *barges door* Wake up! We have to save... the— WORLD! *climbs on van* Dad! *trips and sets off car alarm* *smiles*
 
  +
{{TD||[Int. Greg's Van] }}
 
  +
{{TD||(''Steven and Greg are driving to the beach, dragging the cannon with the damaged wagon.'') }}
'''Greg''': *bursts out with a waffle iron* Who’s there? I have a waffle iron!
 
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{{TD|Steven |Is it gonna be okay? }}
 
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{{TD|Greg |*shrugs* If every pork chop were perfect— }}
'''Steven''': *on top of the van* Dad, it’s me!
 
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{{TD|Steven |*chimes in* ''We wouldn’t have hot dogs!''}}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |*watches the Red Eye getting bigger* That thing’s getting huge, it's freaking me out! }}
'''Greg''': *looks up* Steven? *Steven jumps down and hugs his dad* I almost waffled your face! What are you doing up so late?
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Can’t the van go any faster? }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |*steps the van accelerator* This ''is'' faster!}}
'''Steven''': What do you mean? The sun just went down an hour ago.
 
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{{TD|Steven |Don’t worry. Come on, let’s put on your CD. *holds up the CD he retrieved earlier* }}
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |*embarrassed* What? Really? Come on, you’ve heard it. }}
'''Greg''': *blushes* Oh, heh. It was a... slow day at the car wash. Anyway, what’s up? Just needed to see your old man, pal around, learn some lessons about life?
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*chuckles* You come on. *inserts disc* }}
 
  +
{{TD||(''"[[Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart)]]" starts to play. Greg is visibly embarrassed. Steven starts to bounce and sing to the song. The van drives past [[Sadie]], [[Lars]] and [[Mr. Smiley]], all looking at the Red Eye, which has turned the environment into a red hue. The song continues to play in the background as they drive up next to Garnet and Pearl at the beach.'')}}
'''Steven''': *blushes* No! I need the light cannon that belonged to Mom, to blow up that eyeball!*points to the Red Eye*
 
  +
{{TD|Amethyst |*gets washed up back on shore* Throw me again, I think I’m cracking it. *notices Steven, Greg and the cannon* Is that...? }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Hey, guys! }}
'''Greg''': Eyeball?
 
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{{TD|Pearl |*gasps* He really had it! }}
 
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{{TD|Amethyst | We’re ''SAVED!!!'' }}
'''Steven''': *points* ''That''!
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl, Amethyst & Garnet | Woah!}}
 
  +
{{TD||(''Destruction begins to ensure as everything is being pulled away by the Red Eye’s gravitational force, such as the [[Beach House]], electric poles and the Beach Citywalk Fries.'') }}
Amethyst: *Amethyst is seen flying towards the Red Eye, but falls back into the ocean) Raaaah!!!---
 
  +
{{TD|Mr. Fryman |Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy! (''The building's sign gets ripped off, and My. Fryman dodges out of its way.'') }}
 
  +
{{TD||[Trans. Beach] }}
'''Greg''': Wait, is that a magical thing? The Gems told me not to get involved with magic stuff. It, it could be dangerous or interfere with what’s left of my hair. *rubs hair*
 
  +
{{TD|Garnet |We have to use it now. }}
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |I don’t know how it works, it was Rose’s! }}
'''Steven''': But they need Mom’s cannon. You've gotta know where it is, like a cave dungeon or a cloud fortress, or in a clam at the bottom of the ocean!
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Dad, how do we use it? (''Greg shrugs.'') }}
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |*grabs Steven's shoulders* Steven, this is serious! *epiphanised* The gem. ''You'' have Rose’s gem! }}
'''Greg''': Well, I don’t know about all that. But I have an idea where it might be.
 
  +
{{TD|Amethyst |That’s it! *lifts Steven and start rubbing him against the cannon* Ahhh, come on! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Garnet |Stop that. }}
[Ext. [[U-Stor]]- Greg and Steven]
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |It’s no use. }}
 
  +
{{TD|Amethyst |Fine, forget it. Throw me again! *jumps onto Garnet's arm*}}
'''Steven''': A magical storage unit! *rushes to U-Stor*
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |That’s ''not'' going to work. }}
 
  +
{{TD||(''The gravitational pull intensifies and starts to pull the van and the cannon too.'') }}
'''Greg''': Ha, not exactly. But some would say there’s magic inside. *winks as Steven who looks at him cluelessly* It’s just a shed I use to keep things that don’t fit in the van. If it’s anywhere, it’ll be in here.
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |I got this. *unties the cord from the cannon, as the van continues to be pulled* Ugh, wait, nope, maybe I don’t! *gets dragged along with the van* }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*starts banging on the cannon* Please work- unlock- activate- go- please! Everyone’s counting on you, you can’t just be useless! I know you can help. }}
(Opens door, reveals a shed filled to the brim with boxes and clutter)
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |It’s okay, Steven. We’ll figure out something else, something even better. }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |R-r-r-right, if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.}}
'''Steven''': If I’m going in there, I’m gonna need some gear. *ties a flashlight to his head with sock and electric cord wrapped around waist* Here I go.
 
  +
{{TD||(''The cannon starts to glow and activate. Steven loses his grip and falls onto the ground.'') }}
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |It’s working! }}
'''Greg''': Good luck!
 
  +
{{TD||(''The cannon's hinges unlock and the barrel falls onto the ground. The Crystal Gems gasp as it begins to prime itself. Steven tries to lift the cannon himself, and the Crystal Gems help in.'') }}
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |Steven! }}
'''Steven''': *crawls into shed* Woah, cool! It’s like a dad museum. *goes deeper* There it is! *pulls down golf clubs* Do you golf?
 
  +
{{TD|Amethyst |This is it! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Garnet |BRACE YOURSELVES!!! }}
'''Greg''': Eh, I’d like to think of myself as someone who would golf... eventually.
 
  +
{{TD||(The cannon fires a rose-shaped beam at the Red Eye, shattering and destroying it. Shrapnel from the blast begin to fall around the beach and destroying parts of the city boardwalk.) }}
 
  +
{{TD|Amethyst |Steven, you just saved most of Beach City! }}
'''Steven''': *notices [[T-Shirt Cannon|cannon shaped object]]* Hmm, yes!... A drum. *rummaging* No, no... *gasp* Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Is this— *shoots T-shirt cannon* “Buy T-shirt Cannons”? *notices box full of CDs* Hey, there’s a bunch of copies of your old CD! *gets one and stores it in his pocket*
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |*to Mr. Fryman* Sorry about that! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Mr. Fryman |*yells back* ''What?''}}
'''Greg''': Huh. Oh, man, I couldn’t ''give'' those things away. You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country.
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |How did you get it to work? }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |I just said that thing that Dad always says. }}
'''Steven''': *chuckle* I know, Dad.
 
  +
{{TD|Pearl |That thing about pork rinds? }}
 
  +
{{TD|Garnet |*pats on Pearl's shoulder* Hot dogs. }}
'''Greg''': When I came to play a concert here in Beach City, no one showed up except—
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |Rose... *wipes away a tear*}}
 
  +
{{TD||(''The tide suddenly raises in and everyone starts laughing. Greg notices his van getting washed past him by the tide.'') }}
'''Steven''': An ALLIGATOR!
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |My van! }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |It’s okay, Dad, if every pork chop were perfect— }}
'''Greg''': No, it was your mother.
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |I ''live'' in there! *rushes towards the van* }}
 
  +
{{TD|Steven |Wait up! *chases after* }}
'''Steven''': *goes deeper* Hahaha, I know.
 
  +
{{TD|Greg |Oh geez, wait, wait, wait! }}
 
  +
{{TD||(''Greg and Steven slowly track through the water towards the van, slowly being washed towards the ocean. The star iris zooms in on the van, ending the episode.'') }}
'''Greg''': And we were always together after that. Until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world. I don’t know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old ''dope'' like me.
 
  +
{{TD||[END] }}
 
  +
}}
'''Steven''': *breaks photo frame of Greg and Rose, gasps* Uh, Dad, I broke a photo.
 
 
'''Greg''': It’s okay buddy. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs. *cannon begins to glow*
 
 
'''Steven''': *notices glow* Huh? *gasps* The light cannon!
 
 
'''Greg''': *looking at Red Eye* Oh boy, that thing’s giving me the willies. *rubs stomach*
 
 
'''Steven''': Dad, I found it!
 
 
'''Greg''': Really?
 
 
'''Steven''': *tying cord around cannon* Get the van! *Greg pulls it out* This thing could save the city, we've gotta get it to the beach!
 
 
'''Greg''': How? It’s too big for the van. *wagon rolls by* Easy does it. *puts cannon on wagon*
 
 
[Int. Greg's Van- Steven and Greg driving to beach]
 
 
'''Steven''': Is it gonna be okay?
 
 
'''Greg''': *shrugs* If every pork chop were perfect—
 
 
'''Steven''': *chimes in* We wouldn’t have hot dogs!
 
 
'''Greg''': *watches enlarged Red Eye* That thing’s getting huge, it's freaking me out.
 
 
'''Steven''': Can’t the van go any faster?
 
 
'''Greg''': This ''is'' faster.
 
 
'''Steven''': Don’t worry. Come on, let’s put on your CD.
 
 
'''Greg''': *embarrassed* What? Really? Come on, you’ve heard it.
 
 
'''Steven''': *chuckling* ''You'' come on. *inserts disc*
 
 
'''Steven''': *singing along with "[[Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart)]]"* Let me drive my van into your heart! *song continues to play in the background*
 
 
[Beach- Greg & Steven arrive, Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst]
 
 
'''Amethyst''': *washes up back on shore* Throw me again, I ''think'' I’m cracking it. *notices Steven* Is that...?
 
 
'''Steven''': Hey, guys!
 
 
'''Pearl''': *gasps* He ''really'' had it!
 
 
'''Amethyst''': *jumping in front of Garnet and Pearl* We’re SAVED!!!
 
 
(Red Eye’s gravity begins to pull everything towards it, causing rumbling and destruction)
 
 
[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries- Fryman observing the destruction affecting his restaurant]
 
 
'''Fryman''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy! *sign rips off building*
 
 
[Trans. Beach- Gems, Steven and Greg with cannon, destruction intensifying, song ends]
 
 
'''Garnet''': We have to use it now.
 
 
'''Pearl''': I don’t know how it works, it was Rose’s!
 
 
'''Steven''': Dad, how do we use it? *Greg shrugs*
 
 
'''Pearl''': Steven, this is serious. *realization* The gem. ''You'' have Rose’s gem.
 
 
'''Amethyst''': That’s it! *lifts Steven and rubs him against the cannon* Ah, come on!
 
 
'''Garnet''': Stop that.
 
 
'''Pearl''': It’s no use.
 
 
'''Amethyst''': Fine, forget it. Throw ''me'' again.
 
 
'''Pearl''': That’s not going to work.
 
 
(gravitational pull intensifies, pulls van and cannon)
 
 
'''Greg''': *unhooks cord from cannon* I got this. *gets pulled* Ugh, wait, nope, maybe I don’t! *tries to stop van*
 
 
'''Steven''': *to cannon* Please work, unlock, activate, go, please! Everyone’s counting on you, you can’t just be useless! I know you can help.
 
 
'''Greg''': It’s okay, Steven. We’ll figure out something else, something even better.
 
 
'''Steven''': R-r-r-right, if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs. *cannon begins to activate*
 
 
'''Pearl''': It’s working!
 
 
(cannon unlocks and falls, collective gasp, Steven attempts to lift it, the Gems soon help)
 
 
'''Pearl''': Steven!
 
 
'''Amethyst''': This is it!
 
 
'''Garnet''': BRACE YOURSELVES!!!
 
 
(cannon shoots a rose shaped blast that destroys the Red Eye, causing it to explode and shrapnel to fall, destroying parts of the city boardwalk)
 
 
'''Amethyst''': Steven, you just saved ''most'' of Beach City!
 
 
'''Steven''': *to Fryman* Sorry about that!
 
 
'''Fryman''': What?
 
 
'''Pearl''': How did you get it to work?
 
 
'''Steven''': I just said that thing that Dad always says.
 
 
'''Pearl''': That thing about pork rinds?
 
 
'''Garnet''': Hot dogs.
 
 
'''Greg''': *tears up* Rose...
 
 
(tide suddenly comes in, washes van towards the beach but still surrounded by water, collective laughter)
 
 
'''Greg''': My van!
 
 
'''Steven''': It’s okay, Dad, if every pork chop were perfect—
 
 
'''Greg''': I LIVE in there! *rushes towards van*
 
 
'''Steven''': Wait up! *goes towards van*
 
 
'''Greg''': Oh geez, wait, wait, wait!
 
 
[End]
 
 
{{Transcriptnav}}
 
 
[[Category:Transcripts]]
 
[[Category:Transcripts]]
 
[[Category:A to Z]]
 
[[Category:A to Z]]

Revision as of 18:15, 13 March 2020

This is a transcribed copy of Laser Light Cannon (episode). Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries]
(Steven and Amethyst run towards the counter of Beach Citywalk Fries., as Mr. Fryman is entering the building.)
Steven Hey, Fryman, give me the bits!
Mr. Fryman *flips a "We're Closed!" sign* Steven! We’re closed.
Steven *disappointed* Aww, what?
Amethyst *hits counter* Give 'em the bits! *chants while continuously hitting the counter* The BITS. The BITS.
(Steven joins in the chanting.)
Steven & Amethyst *both chanting* The BITS! The BITS! The BITS!- *banging on counter*
Mr. Fryman Okay, okay! Take it easy on the counter, will ya? *goes to retrieve the fry bits*
Steven & Amethyst Yes! *hi-fives*
Mr. Fryman *empties the bits into a paper bag* I can give you actual fries if you want. *hands the bag to Steven*
Steven Just the bits, please. *takes the bag* Thanks! *Amethyst and him start walking away while eating the bits* Ah, sunset, my favorite time of day. When the sun goes down, and the second sun gets bigger and bigger in the sky.
Amethyst *bursts out laughing* Yeah, that big hot second su— *long gasps, noticing a strange orb in the sky* Oh no, what is that doing here?
Steven Huh? What is it? (Amethyst picks him up, causing him to drop the bag of bits.) Ah, my bits! (Amethyst carries him away.
[Trans. beach near Crystal Temple]
(Garnet and Pearl, looking through a telescope, are observing the strange orb.)
Garnet This is bad.
Pearl Look at the size of it, I had no idea these things were so big!
Amethyst Garnet! Pearl! *running towards them carrying Steven*
Pearl *visibly annoyed* We saw. Some of us are trying to protect humanity. Where were you?
Amethyst *puts Steven down* ... Eating fry bits. (Pearl groans.)
Steven Oh, can I see? *peers through the telescope* Woah. (The orb rotates and opens into a eye.) It's a giant eyeball! Awesome!
Pearl NOT awesome! It's a Red Eye!
Steven A red eye?! It’s going to infect us all!
Garnet That’s pink eye, Steven. (Amethyst laughs.)
Pearl It’s going to crash into Beach City and crush us, along with a bunch of oblivious, innocent people! We have to stop it.
Steven What are we going to do?
Garnet *adjusts her visor* The only thing powerful enough to destroy it is a Laser Cannon that belonged to Rose Quartz.
Steven My mom?
Amethyst *moans* If Rose were here, this would be so easy.
Pearl I know, but she’s not, and the cannon is missing. We’ll have to find another solution.
Steven If it belonged to my mom, I bet my dad knows where it is. He can help us save the day! (The Crystal Gems are speechless.) Huh? Ehh!?
Pearl Greg is... nice, Steven, but I doubt Rose would entrust someone like him with such a powerful weapon.
Amethyst Your dad is kind of a mess, Steven. *puts her hand on Steven's shoulder*
Pearl Amethyst!
Amethyst I’m just sayin’, even if she did leave it with him, he probably broke it, or lost it, or dropped it in the ocean by now.
Garnet True.
Steven No way, I’m sure he’s just keeping it somewhere safe. I’ll go ask him.
Garnet We can handle this, Steven. *to Amethyst* Ready?
(Amethyst nods. Garnet picks her up, leaps into the air and tosses her at the Red Eye. Amethyst hits it with no impact at all and falls into the ocean. Garnet and Pearl are dumbfounded.)
Steven Ugh... I’m gonna go.
Pearl ... Okay, good luck.
[Ext. It's a Wash]
Steven *banging on the back doors of a van* Dad, it’s me! Dad, are you in there? *starts ramming into it* Wake- UP! We have to save the- WORLD! *climbs onto the van and start stomping on it* Dad! *trips and sets off the van's alarm, which he smiles at*
Greg *bursts out of the van* Who’s there?! I have a waffle iron! *wielding a waffle iron*
Steven Dad, it’s me!
Greg *turns around and sees him, as he drops the waffle iron and shuts the van alarm off* Steven? (Steven jumps down of the van and hugs him.) I almost waffled your face! What are you doing up so late?
Steven What do you mean? The sun just went down an hour ago.
Greg Oh, heh. *embarrassed* It was a... slow day at the car wash. Anyway, what’s up? Just needed to see your old man? Pal around? Learn some lessons about life?
Steven *blushes* No! I need the light cannon that belonged to Mom, to blow up that eyeball!
Greg Eyeball?
Steven That! *points at the Red Eye*
(Amethyst is seen flying and yelling towards the Red Eye, hitting it, and falling back into the ocean again.)
Greg Wait, is that a magical thing? The Gems told me not to get involved with magic stuff. It... it could be dangerous or interfere with what’s left of my hair. *rubs the back of his head*
Steven But they need Mom’s cannon. You've gotta know where it is, like a cave dungeon or a cloud fortress, or in a clam at the bottom of the ocean! (Greg puts up the waffle iron on the ground, throws it into the van and shuts the doors)
Greg Well, I don’t know about all that. But I have an idea where it might be.
[Ext. U-Stor]
Steven A magical storage unit! *runs towards the storage building*
Greg Ha, not exactly. But some would say there’s magic inside. *winks at Steven, who looks at him cluelessly* It’s just a shed I use to keep things that don’t fit in the van. If it’s anywhere, it’ll be in here.
(Greg opens the door and reveals a shed filled to the brim with boxes and clutter. Steven tries to make his way in, but the first few boxes collapse in front of him.)
Steven If I’m going in there, I’m gonna need some gear. *ties a flashlight to his head with a nearby sock, and an electric cord wrapped around his waist* Here I go.
Greg *holding the other end of the cord* Good luck!
Steven *crawls into the shed* Woah, cool! It’s like a dad museum. *ventures deeper and notices a long object on the floor* There it is! *pulls it out, revealing to be a golf bag* Do you golf?
Greg Eh, I’d like to think of myself as someone who would golf... eventually.
Steven *sets the golf bag upright and notices another slender object* Hmm, yes! ... *sweeps off the various junk on top of it* A drum. *pats it once and continues rummaging deeper* No, no... *gasps* Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Is this— *shoots a cannon-like object, the projectile unravels into a shirt* “Buy T-Shirt Cannons”? *notices a box full of CDs near him* Hey, there’s a bunch of copies of your old CD!
Greg Huh. Oh, man, I couldn’t give those things away. You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country.
Steven *chuckles as he keeps one of the CDs in his pocket* I know, Dad.
Greg When I came to play a concert here in Beach City, no one showed up except—
Steven An ALLIGATOR!
Greg No, it was your mother.
Steven Hahaha, I know. *crawls deeper into the shed*
Greg And we were always together after that. Until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world. I don’t know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me.
Steven *accidentally steps on a photo frame of Greg and Rose and gasps* Uh, Dad, I broke a photo.
Greg It’s okay buddy. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.
Steven *something begins to glow near him* Huh? *gasps* The light cannon!
Greg *looking at Red Eye, nearer than before* Oh boy, that thing’s giving me the willies. *scratching his chest*
Steven Dad, I found it!
Greg Really?
Steven *ties the electric cord around the cannon* Get the van! (With the other end tied to his van, Greg pulls the cannon out of the shed, along with all his other possessions, which collapse afterwards.) This thing could save the city, we've gotta get it to the beach!
Greg How? It’s too big for the van. *a wagon rolls by*
(Greg ties the wagon to the van with the electric cord. Steven and Greg lift the heavy cannon.)
Greg Easy does it. (They drop the cannon onto the wagon, and its base breaks from the cannon's weight. Steven and Greg are speechless.)
[Int. Greg's Van]
(Steven and Greg are driving to the beach, dragging the cannon with the damaged wagon.)
Steven Is it gonna be okay?
Greg *shrugs* If every pork chop were perfect—
Steven *chimes in* We wouldn’t have hot dogs!
Greg *watches the Red Eye getting bigger* That thing’s getting huge, it's freaking me out!
Steven Can’t the van go any faster?
Greg *steps the van accelerator* This is faster!
Steven Don’t worry. Come on, let’s put on your CD. *holds up the CD he retrieved earlier*
Greg *embarrassed* What? Really? Come on, you’ve heard it.
Steven *chuckles* You come on. *inserts disc*
("Let Me Drive My Van (into Your Heart)" starts to play. Greg is visibly embarrassed. Steven starts to bounce and sing to the song. The van drives past Sadie, Lars and Mr. Smiley, all looking at the Red Eye, which has turned the environment into a red hue. The song continues to play in the background as they drive up next to Garnet and Pearl at the beach.)
Amethyst *gets washed up back on shore* Throw me again, I think I’m cracking it. *notices Steven, Greg and the cannon* Is that...?
Steven Hey, guys!
Pearl *gasps* He really had it!
Amethyst We’re SAVED!!!
Pearl, Amethyst & Garnet Woah!
(Destruction begins to ensure as everything is being pulled away by the Red Eye’s gravitational force, such as the Beach House, electric poles and the Beach Citywalk Fries.)
Mr. Fryman Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy! (The building's sign gets ripped off, and My. Fryman dodges out of its way.)
[Trans. Beach]
Garnet We have to use it now.
Pearl I don’t know how it works, it was Rose’s!
Steven Dad, how do we use it? (Greg shrugs.)
Pearl *grabs Steven's shoulders* Steven, this is serious! *epiphanised* The gem. You have Rose’s gem!
Amethyst That’s it! *lifts Steven and start rubbing him against the cannon* Ahhh, come on!
Garnet Stop that.
Pearl It’s no use.
Amethyst Fine, forget it. Throw me again! *jumps onto Garnet's arm*
Pearl That’s not going to work.
(The gravitational pull intensifies and starts to pull the van and the cannon too.)
Greg I got this. *unties the cord from the cannon, as the van continues to be pulled* Ugh, wait, nope, maybe I don’t! *gets dragged along with the van*
Steven *starts banging on the cannon* Please work- unlock- activate- go- please! Everyone’s counting on you, you can’t just be useless! I know you can help.
Greg It’s okay, Steven. We’ll figure out something else, something even better.
Steven R-r-r-right, if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.
(The cannon starts to glow and activate. Steven loses his grip and falls onto the ground.)
Pearl It’s working!
(The cannon's hinges unlock and the barrel falls onto the ground. The Crystal Gems gasp as it begins to prime itself. Steven tries to lift the cannon himself, and the Crystal Gems help in.)
Pearl Steven!
Amethyst This is it!
Garnet BRACE YOURSELVES!!!
(The cannon fires a rose-shaped beam at the Red Eye, shattering and destroying it. Shrapnel from the blast begin to fall around the beach and destroying parts of the city boardwalk.)
Amethyst Steven, you just saved most of Beach City!
Steven *to Mr. Fryman* Sorry about that!
Mr. Fryman *yells back* What?
Pearl How did you get it to work?
Steven I just said that thing that Dad always says.
Pearl That thing about pork rinds?
Garnet *pats on Pearl's shoulder* Hot dogs.
Greg Rose... *wipes away a tear*
(The tide suddenly raises in and everyone starts laughing. Greg notices his van getting washed past him by the tide.)
Greg My van!
Steven It’s okay, Dad, if every pork chop were perfect—
Greg I live in there! *rushes towards the van*
Steven Wait up! *chases after*
Greg Oh geez, wait, wait, wait!
(Greg and Steven slowly track through the water towards the van, slowly being washed towards the ocean. The star iris zooms in on the van, ending the episode.)
[END]
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