Little Homeschool (episode)/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of Little Homeschool (episode). Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Steven Universe: The Movie"

Next: "Guidance"

Speaker	Dialogue
Open Int. Steven's Bathroom.
Steven	Mwah! ♪ Happy welcome-back day. ♪
A new Gem forms. Cherry Quartz appears.
Steven	Hello.
Cherry Quartz	Where am I? Who are you?
Steven	That used to be a loaded question, but now I can say with confidence that I'm Steven Universe, and you're in my bathroom.
Cherry Quartz	[Looks at herself in the mirror] What happened to me? [Gasps; and takes the plunger] What is this?!
Steven	You were corrupted in a Diamond blast, but you've just been healed, and that is a plunger...
Int. Beach House.
Steven	Let me fill you in on everything you've missed.
Cherry Quartz	Missed?
Steven	We have some reading material, available in both English and Gem Glyph. [Gives material to Cherry Quartz] Spanish translation forthcoming.
Ext. Outside.
Steven	Watch your head.
As Steven drives the Supremo.
Steven (Offscreen)	Life is a little different these days. The Diamonds have ended their reign of terror. The intergalactic war is over, and Earth is officially an independent planet. We're all safe to explore our dreams. Lars opened up his own pastry shop, and it's got a real cute space gimmick goin' on. Sadie's been touring with The Suspects, promoting their new album, and Connie has been getting a head start on college prep. She's two years away from applying, but she says it doesn't hurt to start early.
Steven	And speaking of higher education, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and I have been cooking up a dream of our own.
Cherry Quartz	I have no idea who you're talking about.
Steven	[Laughs] Don't worry about it. You'll learn all that and more right here at Little Homeschool.
Int. Little Homeworld.
Steven	Here at Little Homeschool, you have a chance to rediscover yourself and learn to live on Earth if you like. You can forge a new identity, grow your own ideas, and even find your inner Morp.
Cherry Quartz	Wait. What's a Morp?
Steven	That's exactly the kind of question we love to hear.
Garnet	Find your center, your very core. [Screen turns upside down] Remember -- your body isn't just a projection of light but also a reflection of your inner soul.
Steven	Garnet teaches, uh, all sorts of stuff.
Pearl	Hello? Pearl speaking.
Holo-Pearl	This is Holo-Pearl.
Pearl	Oh, hi, Holo-Pearl. To what do I owe the pleasure of your calling?
Holo-Pearl	Just calling to see how you are.
Pearl	That's an example of the use of the human short-range telecommunications device called a phone.
Steven	Pearl will teach you all about human technology.
Cherry Quartz	Whose Pearl is that?
Steven	Mm, that -- that's not how things work here. Nobody belongs to anybody. On Earth, you can decide for yourself what you want to do.
Cherry Quartz	Really? How?
Amethyst	Hello. I'm Professor Amethyst. Go on, take a seat wherever. I'll be teaching "How to Decide Stuff for Yourself 101". Today's lesson is -- [Takes off her glasses] there is no lesson. Just do whatever you want for an hour. [to Steven] Hey, Steven, you wanna grab some lunch?
Steven	Sure.
Ext. Beach City
Amethyst	[Sighs] This school thing's such a cool idea. I love being a teacher. No one's ever looked up to me before, you know? Except for, uh, widdle baby Steven!
Steven laughs.
Amethyst	Seriously, dude, it's been going great. Everyone wants to come and learn how to be an Earthling.
Steven	Uh, not everyone.
Amethyst	Pff! Man, forget her.
Steven	I don't know. I -- I'm worried. We healed all these Gems and built that town and the school because I wanted to fix some of the bad things the Diamonds did. Knowing there's someone out there still hurting because of the Diamonds, because of... my mom... uh, I mean, I know it's not my fault, but if there's a chance I could make it better, shouldn't I try?
Amethyst slurps a lot.
Amethyst	I think you should stop trying to fix everyone.
Steven	Yeah. You're right.
Int. Beach City Woods
Steven walks up to the woods, and stops.
Jasper	Hold it.
Steven notices where Jasper is.
Jasper	Ugh! What do you want now?!
Steven	Jasper. I just want to talk.
Jasper comes down.
Steven	So, um, how's it going? I know it's been a while since we last, uh, talked. [Looks down] Aw, it's a cute little --
Jasper stomps her foot on a bug.
Steven	Why did you do that?!
Jasper	Any Earthling that invades my space gets crushed. Took forever to yank those puny green Earthlings out of the ground.
Steven	You mean grass?
Jasper	I don't know their names!
Steven	So what's with the rocks?
Jasper	Training. [Throws a giant rock ball, crashing]
Steven	Oh, I thought maybe -- uh! -- maybe you were getting into art? That pile really complements the decor.
Strange, Jasper kicks the giant rock ball.
Steven	Okay. What are you even training for? There's no one left to fight.
Jasper	There's always someone to fight. There's just no one left worth fighting.
Steven	In that case, maybe you could come join us at Little Homeschool?
Jasper	No.
Steven	Come on. We're all learning and growing together. [Jasper snorts] And -- and you could be a part of that.
Jasper	Sounds dumb.
Steven	You know, half those Gems are soldiers who fought by your side before they were corrupted and turned into monsters. They're lost and confused and still a little messed up, but they're getting the help they need.
Jasper	So? Who cares?
Steven (Angrily)	I do! And if I didn't care, you'd still be a monster, too.
Jasper	And what? Now I owe you?
Steven	No!
Jasper	You think because you did something I never asked for, I'm going to obey you?
Steven	No! That's not --
Jasper	Like all the other Gems, you use.
Steven (Frustrated)	Aggghhh! I only came here because I felt bad for you, but all of this is your own fault. All the other Gems were corrupted by the Diamonds, but -- but you corrupted yourself just to win a fight, which you lost to me! No one's making you stay here all alone in the middle of nowhere ready to fight a war that's been over for years! Are you just gonna sit here for centuries waiting for someone to give you a purpose?! Because I'm trying to give you one!
Jasper	Listen, weakling, you might have Pink Diamond's gem, but you are not my Diamond, and I am not going to take orders from some weak, sappy, useless piece of dirt! If you think you're hard enough to tell me what to do, then fight me and prove it.
Steven	Fine!
Jasper	... Really? Huh. Well, then, why don't you throw the first punch?
Steven punches Jasper's arm, which revves Jasper up for her own.
Steven	I guess we're doing this.
Jasper punches Steven's bubble and kicks him out.
Steven	No, no, no, no! Babies!
The birds land on the nest. Steven bubbles the nest and throws to the bush, landing safely.
Steven	Touchdown. [Uses his shield]
Jasper punches Steven.
Jasper	Stop trying to help those tiny, flapping Earthlings and fight me!
Steven	I'll never stop trying to help them, or you.
Jasper kicks Steven's shield.
Jasper	I don't need your help. You're the one that needs help. You think you've beaten me, but you've never beaten me on your own. You've always been a Fusion. You've always had your friends because you're nothing without them. You think everyone needs help.
Steven	I -- I just...
Jasper	But it's only you. No one is as pitiful as you.
Steven transforms into Pink Steven for the first time. Pink Steven's force punches Jasper.
Pink Steven	Whoa. What?
Pink Steven uses his bubble gauntlet and launches at Jasper.
Pink Steven	I'm not pitiful!
Pink Steven punches Jasper, having her fly through the forest and felling many trees.
Jasper	[Laughs] Ha. Not bad.
Jasper and Pink Steven continue their brawl. Steven dropkicks Jasper away, and she spin dashes quickly afterwards. Steven catches her punch in time.
Jasper	Nice catch.
Pink Steven	You should see my throw!
Pink Steven throws Jasper up in the sky, constantly amusing Jasper despite a flury of air lunge attacks by Steven.
Pink Steven	Stop laughing!
Pink Steven punches Jasper into the ground. A crater remains, shocking Steven.
Pink Steven	[Gasps]
Pink Steven detransforms back into himself.
Steven	Jasper?
Jasper	Hmph. I didn't think you had it in you.
Steven	I don't -- I -- I don't know what that was. I'm sorry.
Jasper	Ugh. Don't apologize.
Steven	I think I had you all wrong. Maybe, you don't have something to learn from me. Maybe, I have something to learn from you. Would you ever be interested in teaching?
Jasper	Tssh! At your crummy little school?
Steven	No, just me. You brought something out of me I didn't know I had.
Jasper	Consider that fight back there your first and only lesson.
Steven	Well, can I come back to see you sometime?
Jasper	Do what you want. [Walks away]
Steven feels happy.
Steven (Narrating)	There are fundamental things about ourselves that we know to be true. It's important to remember those things when you find yourself in a tough situation, or you need to make decision from the heart, but it's equally important to know that you can surprise yourself, too. I thought I'd finally figured myself out, but it looks like I still have more to learn. Man, life is a wonderful mystery.
Steven	Am I right?
Cherry Quartz	Yeah. So, uh... can you sign off on my class schedule?
Steven	Oh, uh, right. Let me help you with that.
Ending