Love Letters/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Love Letters". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Say Uncle"

Next: "Reformed"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Open Ext. Beach House]
(Steven and Connie are taking selfies outside on the hill to the Beach House.)
Connie	You blinked!
Steven	Let's just take another one.
Connie	Oh wait. What if we get a shot with the beautiful view behind us? *walks towards the sea* Come on, Steven!
(Steven blushes, and gets up to join Connie.)
Connie	*holds up the phone* Say "cheese"!
Steven & Connie	"Cheeeese!"
(Steven and Connie try to maintain smiling, while Connie tries unsuccessfully to tap on the capture button.)
Steven	*mumbling* Did it do it?
Connie	*also mumbling* I don't know.
Steven	*mumbles more* Press it again.
Connie	*mumbles some more* I've been pressing it.
Jamie	Heh. *shows up* You guys look cute.
Steven	Jamie!
Jamie	What's up, Steven? Long time No see!
Steven	*runs towards Jamie* Ohhhh... myyy... gooosh! *excitedly gives a high-five to Jamie, laughing* Jamie, this is Connie.
Jamie	Greetings, Connie.
Steven	So, where you been at?
Jamie	Oh, you know, just spendin' some time where all the big pictures are made...
Steven	Uh, where's that?
Jamie	Just a little place called Kansas! *waves his hand across the air*
Connie	Oh! Are you an aspiring thespian?
Jamie	Why, ah-yes I am. *bows*
Steven	Wow, I didn't know you wanted to be an actor.
Jamie	That's because... *turns around and clenches his fist dramatically* I'm very good at acting.
(Steven and Connie clap in amazement.)
Steven	Is that why you're wearing those cool glasses that say "Movie Star"? *points to Jamie's sunglasses*
Jamie	*blushes* Uh, well, no. I just bought these at a souvenir shop. I missed being a regular old mailman, so I just came back. And, uh, you got a lot of mail while I was gone. *puts down the big bag he was carrying*
Connie	Looks like the postal service has been slacking off.
Steven	Jamie's the only mailman that knows where I live.
Jamie	*hands out his sign pad* I'm gonna need a lot of signatures as well.
(Steven crack his knuckles, but no noise is made.)
Connie	Your knuckles are so quiet.
Steven	My hands are polite.
Connie	*notices Garnet emerging from the ocean* Oh, Garnet!
Steven	Hi, Garnet!
Connie	Hello, Garnet!
Jamie	Who's Garneeeee—?!
(Jamie turns to look at Garnet, drenched and approaching from the ocean, and is immediately starstruck. He then takes off his sunglasses to have a better view, as Garnet approaches nearer.)
Garnet	Howdy.
Steven	Whatcha up to, Garnet?
Garnet	I was just at the bottom of the ocean checking for signs of Lapis and Jasper.
Steven	Any luck?
Garnet	Nope!
Jamie	*amazed* Wow, how are you able to swim to the bottom of the ocean?
Garnet	*holds her visor* It was easy, I'm a really... good... swimmer.
(Jamie stares speechlessly at Garnet's lips and blushes.)
Garnet	Excuse me.
(Garnet forcefully shrug all the water of her body, causing them to vaporize in midair. A shocked Jamie quickly hide his face behind his hat, blushing and staring in awe.)
[Time Skip - Later the day]
(Steven and Connie are checking out Steven's mails on the beach.)
Connie	Uh... Steven? Why did you receive so many boxes of "Sea Pals"? *picks up a box of "Sea Pals"*
Steven	Uh... I ordered one at first but it never showed up, So I kept ordering.
Connie	Are you going to start a farm?
Steven	*laughs* No! *picks up another "Sea Pals" box* I'm gonna set 'em free. Into the sea! *attempts to throw the box, when Jamie shows up again* Jamie!
Jamie	*nervously* Ha-ha-hi, Steven.
Connie	You didn't bring more "Sea Pals"?
Jamie	What? No, I— just came to, uh... *starts blushing* Uh... uh-umm...
Steven	What's that? *points to a pink envelop Jamie is holding*
Jamie	*blushing furiously* Uh... It's... Uh... here! *hands the envelop to Steven*
Steven	But, what is... it? Jamie?
(Jamie starts pacing away, sweating profusely. Steven and Connie flip the letter to the other side, revealing that the letter was for Garnet, and they both gasp. Jamie then starts laughing and flapping him arms in joy as he paces further away. Steven and Connie run towards the house, bursting through the door just as Garnet is about to leave.)
Steven	Garnet! Garnet! Garnet! The most unbelievable thing has happened!- You'll absolutely die of shock!
Garnet	I'm busy, Steven. *summons her Lava Goggles and attempts to leave*
Steven	But... You got a letter! *shows Garnet the envelope*
Garnet	*pauses, turns around and turns off her goggles* Read it.
Steven	*opens the envelope and reads Jamie's letter* "To Garnet. When I saw you rise like an ancient—"
(As Steven reads the letter, a scene is imagined as Jamie, wearing a Shakespearean garment, write the letter with a quill into a candlelit study room.)
Jamie (Narrating)	"...—like an ancient sea nymph, a white hot steel pierced the deepest artery of my being. You, you are a cardiac surgeon and I am your transplant patient, and you stand poised over my chest, holding my still beating heart. Hesitating, waiting, wondering. So I implore you to join me for dinner, or maybe lunch if you wanna keep it casual, next Friday at the Crab Shack!"
(While Jamie is dramatically reenacting the scene, his quill accidentally catches on fire from the candle nearby, causing him to panic and start stomping it to put out the fire. Once he put it out, he continues making dramatic poses.)
Jamie (Narrating)	"I await your response as the camellia awaits the rise of the moon! 'Cause, you know, it only blooms at night and stuff. Love—"
(The scene ends as it slowly returns back to Steven, still reading the letter, Garnet and Connie at the Beach House.)
Steven	"—Love, Jamie."
Connie	*turns to Garnet* I think Jamie is asking you out... *blushes* On a date!
Steven	Well that ain't happening.
Garnet	Nope.
Connie	Why not?
Steven	Garnet is already in a relationship.
Connie	Wait, really?
Steven	Well, yeah! She is a relationship.
Connie	*blushes* Oh you mean cause she's a fusion.
Steven	Ruby and Sapphire are so close, that they can't stand to be apart.
Connie	Oh. So I guess this date with Jamie is out of the question.
Garnet	Three's a crowd.
Connie	But guys! Jamie put so much thought into this letter. It would be rude not to reply!
(The trio then gathered in the living room of the beach house, and Connie prepares to write Garnet's reply.)
Connie	sets a sheet of paper on the table* Okay, Garnet. It might be best to play out the tone of his letter. And start off with something like... "Dearest Jamie,". *writes the greeting on the paper* Okay, go for it, Garnet!
Garnet	Start with a letter "N".
Connie	Huh, okay. *writes "N" on the paper* What next?
Garnet	Uh, the letter "O".
Connie	Uh, okay! You can just say the whole word instead of spelling it out. *writes "O"*
Garnet	"Period".
Connie	Hm. *reads the letter* So... "N", "O", "Period"? Oh...
(Connie realizes Garnet's spelling reads "No.".)
Steven	I think we'll need more than that.
Garnet	"The End, Forever. And even after that."
Steven	"Yours truly, Garnet"!
Connie	*picks up the letter and reads it* At least it's honest and to the point.
[Trans. Beach City Boardwalk]
(Steven and Connie are running together, looking for Jamie.)
Connie	Where do you think he could be?
Steven	I dunno. He could be dropping off mail halfway around the world by now!
Connie	*points* There he is!
(Jamie is seen sitting on a log on the beach, staring out in the yonder.)
Steven	Jamie!
Jamie	Oh hi, Connie and Steven. (Connie and Steven sit on the log next to him.) You guys come here to stare at the ocean and think about life too?
Connie	Uh, no... ? We came to uh-
Jamie	*interrupts* Yeah, life is crazy. One day you're right here in Beach City delivering mail and then the next thing you know, you're on a bus to Kansas, following your dreams of becoming an actor. "Follow your dreams," they said. But no one said anything about all the rejection and sadness there was to be found. So many auditions day after day. So much rejection day after day. That's why I came back. (Two seagulls crash against each other in mid-air and fall into the ocean.) One more rejection would have destroyed my fragile heart. *sobs, wipes away his tearful eyes, then chuckles* Sorry, sometimes I get caught up in the "drama zone", you know?
Steven	Yeah, right... "drama zone". *turns to Connie in worry*
Connie	Oh, by the way, we have something for y-- *tries to give Jamie the letter*
Steven	*quickly stops Connie* No we don't!
[Trans. In. Beach House]
Steven	How can we give this letter to Jamie now? He might get upset.
Connie	Hm. *holds up a pencil* We can make adjustments. We can match Jamie's poetic language and let him down easy! *starts erasing words on the letter* I watched some episodes of a torrid soap opera once, so I'm confident that I get the gist of romance. Err... *erases harder* There! *starts to write on the paper* "Dear Jamie. You, dear camellia, expectantly await the light of my moon, yet my light is more of a scorching, wilting, dry desert heat. And as for your metaphorical surgeon, it is with a heavy heart that I urge you to seek a second opinion. I return your heart to you.-"
Steven	"Also, your hair is nice."
Connie	"Hair... is... nice. Yours, but not really, Garnet."
Steven	Perfect.
(Steven and Connie walks to the beach and puts the letter into the mailbox.)
Steven	Mission accomplished.
[Time Skip — Night Time]
(It begins raining outside. Steven is in his room playing video games when he hears Jamie calling outside.)
Jamie	*from outside* Garnet!
Steven	Huh?
(Steven runs out of the house and leans against the railing on the porch to look down at Jamie.)
Jamie	*dramatically* Garnet! Where art thou, my sweet scorching sunbeam?
Steven	Oh no!
Jamie	*makes exaggerated gestures* Garnet! I read thy letter and I understand. Thou hast returneth mine heart!
Steven	What? No, that's not what—
Jamie	Garnet. You like my hair just as I adore yours. Come to me, Garnet.
Steven	Jamie!
Jamie	Ah, young master Steven, pray thee, where is Lady Garnet?
Steven	She... She's no— She's not coming.
Jamie	But I've come to proclaim my love for my woman!
Steven	No, Jamie, you don't understand, I—
(Garnet walks out onto the porch too, standing beside Steven, gasping in surprise.)
Jamie	Garnet! Hah, you've come. You can tell Steven about all the beautiful things you wrote to me in your missive. *produces the letter Steven and Connie wrote*
Garnet	*surprised* I didn't write that.
Jamie	But it's all right here, stained with tears of joy, and now also rain.
Steven	Mmmm... *blurts out in guilt* Connie and I wrote that letter, Jamie!
Jamie	What?
Steven	I'm so sorry, Jamie. We just wanted to let you down easy.
Jamie	*sadly* Willst thou not scorch me, my darling sun?
Garnet	*sternly* I am not, nor will I ever be interested. Go away!
Jamie	*clenches his fist against his chest and holds out his other hand dramatically* M-My panache! *runs away crying*
Steven	Jaaamieeeee!
[Time Skip — The Next Day]
(Steven and Connie are sitting on the grassy area below the house, looking troubled.)
Connie	Oh boy.
Steven	I feel so bad for poor Jamie.
Connie	Yeah, but I'm sure he'll bounce back from this in no time. He's probably gonna show up with the mail any moment now.
Steven	*smiles* Yeah.
(Connie smiles back at Steven.)
Barbara	'Scuse me, kids! *appears on the beach, holding a letter* I'm looking for the home of... Steven Universe?
Steven	I'm the home of Steven Universe. *approaches Barbara*
Barbara	Hey! You're Greg's boy! I thought Jamie was pulling my leg when he told me you were living over here.
Steven	Wait, where is Jamie?
Barbara	Oh, that poor kid's emotions have been destroyed!
Steven	Whaaat!?
Barbara	Yeah, he's a mess! Said he couldn't bear to deliver mail on this route again after having his love spurned. (Connie walks up next to Steven.) He said it just like this. *imitates Jamie's mannerisms* Like, like when he's in the "drama zone". Then he clenched his fist and closed his eyes like this, full of drama 'til the end. Anyway, here's a book of coupons. Have a good one! *hands Steven the coupons and walks away*
(Connie and Steven exchange a concerned look when Garnet jumps out of the ocean into the air, obscuring the sun, and carrying a Water Bear monster. Steven and Connie watch in amazement as Garnet lands onto the beach, slams the gem monster on the sand and punches its gem, then throws it back into the ocean. Garnet then turns to look at Steven and Connie.)
Garnet	*without inflection* You look sad.
Steven	We really messed up this time.
Connie	Because of us, Jamie is feeling lower than ever.
Steven	*conflicted* We shattered the man!
Connie	*tears welling up in her eyes* He'll never love again!
Garnet	I'll go talk to him. *starts walking into the city*
Connie	But your words will destroy him!
Steven	Can't you just, like, zap his brain so he forgets any of this ever happened?
(Jamie is seen sitting on the same log as before, holding a handful of letters as seagulls fly nearby. He sighs, burying his head on his arm,s and then raises his hand, letting the wind blow and scatter the letters into the sea. A shadow casts over Jamie, and he turns around.)
Garnet	Jamie.
Jamie	*surprised* Garnet!
(Garnet sits down on the log next to Jamie, causing him to blush, while Steven and Connie remain a few steps away.)
Garnet	I didn't mean to upset you.
Jamie	Then will you go out with me?
Garnet	No!
Jamie	*with a dreamy expression* But I've loved you since the moment I saw you.
Garnet	Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time, and love takes work. At the very least you have to know the other person. And you literally have no idea of who, or what, I am. (Her visor glimmer.)
Jamie	*voice breaking* But I bloom for you like... like a... camellia... under moon light.
Garnet	No, you don't.
(Jamie looks sad, and Steven and Connie look surprised.)
Garnet	You make a very convincing lovesick fool. You convinced these children. *adjusts her shades* You even convinced yourself. *smiles* You're a fantastic actor.
Jamie	*in a mature tone* What am I supposed to do now?
Garnet	Start with local theater. *slaps Jamie's back and walks away*
(Connie and Steven walk closer to Jamie.)
Connie	Are you okay?
Jamie	Yeah. That was some pretty solid advice.
Steven	*smiles* Were those more letters you wrote to Garnet?
(Several letters are seen floating on the shore.)
Jamie	No. That was the mail I was supposed to deliver on my last route.
(Everyone is speechless for a moment; Jamie keeps staring directly at the ocean, and Steven and Connie staring at Jamie.)
Steven	We'll help you pick it all up.
Jamie	Thanks.
(The star iris then closes in on Jamie, ending the episode.)
[END]