Mr. Universe/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Mr. Universe". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Growing Pains"

Next: "Fragments"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Open. Int. Crystal Temple]
(Greg is seen making a bowl of ice-cream for Steven, with chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and a slice of pie.
Greg	Here you go, schtu-ball. Dinner is served. Ice-cream ala pie!
Steven	*laughs* Thanks, Dad.
Greg	Are you feeling any better? Looks like the swelling and glowing have gone down.
(Steven pauses as he is about to grab a spoonful of ice-cream.)
Greg	You know, that pie won't eat itself.
Steven	Sorry, I'm just- thinking about stuff.
Greg	What kind of stuff?
Steven	I've spent so long trying to figure out whether I was Mom. Now that I actually know I'm me, it's like I have no idea who that is. I just wish I knew what to do with myself.
Greg	Well, I can relate to that.
Steven	Really?
Greg	When I was your age, I didn't know who I was, or what I wanted to do.
Steven	You didn't always want to be a rock-star?
Greg	No way. I didn't get my hands on good music until I was your age. Before I had the van I had no idea what was out there. But everything changed when I hit the road. I mean, sure, you've seen other planets but what about West Keystone? Or Charm City? I had some of my most formative moments eating rest-stop sandwiches outside Delmarva house, and watching the trucks go by.
Steven	Huh.
Greg	Maybe you need a change of scenery, schtu-ball. You're never gonna find yourself if you don't start looking.
Steven	Yeah, yeah!
Greg	Let's go, son. Right now!
Steven	Really?
Greg	The road is calling, Steven! Can't you hear it?
(Greg runs out the door, and Steven follows him while carrying his bowl of ice-cream.)
Steven	Yeah, I think I can!
[Int. Greg's Van]
(A montage of Steven and Greg's drive is shown, with them first driving out of Beach City, then stopping at a Pepe's Burger joint and a Uaua gas station. Inside the Uaua, they each try on a pair of wacky sunglasses and laugh at each other. As their drive continues, Steven and Greg both sing along to Dear Old Dad, eventually stopping once they start driving through a neighborhood.)
Greg	About two blocks that way, that's where I played my first gig.
Steven	Really?
Greg	I wasn't even Mr. Universe yet. I was just a kid with a guitar, sneaking out past the warden on a Saturday night.
Steven	Wait, so..how did you become Mr. Universe?
Greg	You know what? I can show you.
(Greg parks the van outside of one of the houses and steps out.)
Greg	Good, no one's home.
Steven	Wait, what? Whose house is that? Dad!
(Greg ignores him and approaches the house before jumping over the white picket fence and landing on the other side with a hard thud. Steven quickly gets out of the van and goes over to the fence himself, but instead only peaking his head above it.)
Steven	Dad?
(Greg climbs the large tree that stands in the yard to get high enough to open a window and before falling through it.)
Greg	This used to be a lot easier.
Steven	Dad, you're breaking and entering!
Greg	I just gotta grab one thing.
(Steven climbs through the window as well and lands with a matching thud.)
Steven	Dad, you're rich! You don't have to steal. C'mon, let's get out of here.
Greg	Just a sec.
Steven	What are you even looking for?
Greg	You'll see!
(Steven goes and looks around the house, worry clear on his face.)
Steven	Is there really no one here? This is wrong. I better write a note, they must have a pen and paper somewhere.
(As Steven's going down the stairs, he stops and glances at a picture on the wall before continuing down.)
Steven	But what would I even say? "Sorry for breaking into your lovely home. You seem like such nice people with excellent taste. And who enjoy potpourri." ..It's like a snack for your nose.
(Steven goes and looks around again.)
Steven	"Your fancy foreign spoon collection is impressive. As are your tiny glass goats."
(Steven sighs and grabs a pen from the pen cup.)
Steven	Ah, geez. It's as good a start as any. Any paper in here?
(Steven opens a drawer, looking for some paper, but instead finds a neat pile of letters.
Steven	Huh? Letters from dad? They're all unopened.
(Steven then gasps and runs up the stairs again, stopping at the same picture he did before, but looking at it more closely. The picture is of a man, a woman, and what must be their son. Steven immediately recognizes the boy in the picture.)
Steven	DAD?!
(Greg is sill searching through boxes for something when Steven runs into the room again.)
Steven	Dad! Wha- Th-Th- This is your house?
Greg	Not mine. My parents'.
Steven	*gasps* This was your room! Wha- This place is beautiful! I thought you said you grew up in a prison.
Greg	I did. You have no idea what it was like-- curfew, chaperones, meatloaf.
Steven	You didn't like meatloaf?
Greg	Not every Thursday for twenty years.
Steven	Aw, it couldn't have been that bad.
Greg	Steven, it was horrible! Do you know how old I was the first time I had a taco? *sighs* Too old.
(Steven then looks through a box as well, but with much more enthusiasm then Greg.)
Steven	Ooh, so this is your stuff! Is this your little hand? And your tiny baby boots! Wh- A wrestling trophy? I didn't know you wrestled.
Greg	Not by choice.
Steven	A middle school year book? Ooh! You had braces!
(Steven took a picture of Greg's school picture on his phone.)
Steven	You look just like me! Only more...human.
(Steven looks sad for a moment before perking up again.)
Steven	So many people signed this. Tim wants you to have a great summer, and *gasps* who is Lauren Hecht? She sure wrote a lot.
Greg	We were in mathletes together. It was just one of the million things my parents made me do.
Steven	Where are they, anyways?
Greg	At their time share on Florida Island. They go every single winter every single year. They threw a fit the first time I refused to go with them.
Steven	Your hair, it's so short!
Greg	Oh no, is that my graduation photo? They made me cut it, and it was right before a gig.
Steven	Do you have any photos of you on stage?
Greg	Ha! Are you kidding? Everything music was off-limits. Which is why I had to..hide my stuff.
(Greg opens an air vent and pulls out a small box.)
Greg	Yes! This is it! We can finally get out of here. Now, leave that junk behind.
(Greg climbs through the window again, this time with more difficulty.
Greg	Alright, one leg at a time.
Steven	Can't we use the front door?
Greg	Oh, sorry. It's a habit.
(The two of them exit the house and Steven is about to hop into the passenger seat of the van before Greg stops him.
Greg	Hold on there, Steven.
(Greg looks at Steven, excitedly spinning his car keys around his fingers.)
Greg	This is your journey of self discovery, so you should get behind the wheel.
Steven	But, where are we headed next?
Greg	That's up to you.
(Steven gets into the driver's seat of the van with Greg in the passenger's and drives away from the house.)
Greg	I get it, Steven. When I was little Gregory DeMayo, I was just going through the motions, doing what everybody else wanted. But one day, my friend in social studies snuck me this,
(Greg holds up a Kerry Moonbeam CD.)
Greg	This is the CD with the song that made me who I am! Hold on to your butt, Steven!
(Greg puts the CD in to the van's CD player and the song he was talking about starts playing.)
Kerry Moonbeam	♪ Looking for your place in the universe, don’t you know the universe is looking too? ♪
(Greg begging looking very happy and inspired, meanwhile Steven looks uncomfortable and untouched.)
Kerry Moonbeam	♪ Lookin' for it's place in you, and now it's comin' through, your dream is comin' true. ♪
Steven	Hey-
Greg	Hang on, you gotta listen to this part.
Greg and Kerry Moonbeam	♪ Welcome to the party, Mr. Universe. We're so glad we are a part of you. Meet the rocks and flowers, the seconds and the hours. The splinters, winters, apples, chaples, teardrops, temples, cats, and castles. Anything that you can be, the things you see and cannot see. Are Mr. Universe, Mr. Universe. ♪
Steven	Dad...I-Is this where our name comes from?
Greg	Yes, yes exactly!
Steven	You took it from a song?
Greg	Once I heard this, everything changed. I suddenly realized there was so much out there I hadn't even thought to dream about. The whole world-- the whole universe. I wanted to get out and see all of it. So I got in this van, on this road, and I never looked back! I never could have known a couple years of couch surfing and basement shows would lead me to your mother, and you. Now it's you turn! Where does Mr. Universe make you want to go?
Steven	What? I-I don't know.
Greg	Maybe you need to hear it again.
(Greg plays the song again from the radio.)
Kerry Moonbeam	♪ Looking for your place in the universe ♪
Steven	Dad! Th-This isn't helping!
(Steven turns off the song, Greg frowns and looks at Steven with confusion. as Steven starts to grow angry.)
Steven	I don't need this song! I need...I need what you had!
Greg	What?
Steven	I wish I could've grown up at a house like that.
Greg	No you don't!
Steven	Maybe your parents weren't so bad. Maybe they gave you curfews and chaperones and meatloaf f-for a reason!
Greg	Steven, you don't know what they were like!
Steven	They can't be worse than mom's family. I went halfway across the galaxy for them, and this was right here?!
Greg	Steven, I couldn't do anything growing up. Everything I liked, or wore, wanted was always wrong! Trust me, you're better off then I was.
Steven	I can't believe I never realized, you're.. you're just like mom!
(Steven then glowed pink and his grip tightened on the steering wheel.)
Greg	You grew up with actual freedom!
Steven	I grew up in a van! I never went to school! I've never been to the doctor until two days ago!
Greg	Steven! You're a gem! You're not like other kids!
Steven	I could have done all that stuff! My problem isn't that I'm a gem, my problem is I'm a UNIVERSE!
(Steven yanked the steering wheel clean off as he yelled the word "universe", and Greg's eyes widened in panic.
Greg	Watch out!
(Steven slams his foot onto the brake and the van turns to it's side, skidding across the road at the same speed. The screen cuts to black as the sound of wheels squealing and a car crashing can be heard)
(The sound of Greg's voice calling Steven's name progressively gets louder over a loud ringing as Steven slowly blinks his eyes open. Steven is lying in a dirt patch on the side of the road with Greg hovering over him. The van is destroyed behind them.)
Greg	Oh, thank goodness! You really scared me there, kiddo.
Steven	*groans in pain* What did I do?
Greg	Tow truck's on it's way. The van's seen worse.. We'll all get through this. And-- look, I-I-..I'm proud of you.
Steven	...What?
Greg	Y'know, I never had the guts to tell my old man off like that. I'm glad you can tell me anything. You know you can tell me anything, right? You're having a hard time right now, I-I get it. We'll get the van fixed up, we can head back home. We'll get you some more ice cream, how does that sound?
(Steven is not listening, and instead is looking at the picture of middle-school Greg he had taken earlier. He stares at it for a few seconds as his finger hovered over the delete button. He clicks.)
[END]