| This is a transcribed copy of Onion Friend. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
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(Steven is preparing a bagel sandwich.)
Steven: Yesss... Perfectly timed afternoon sandwich... complete. *Steven is about to eat it.* Wait, I can't eat such a perfect sandwich all on its own, it needs a side! But what? *Amethyst's door opens* Oh! Hey, Amethyst! I made lunch! You wanna eat this empty container?
Amethyst: No, thanks.
Steven: O-okay! You've seen Garnet or Pearl?
Amethyst: Nope.
Steven: Any... idea where they might be?
Amethyst: I dunno... Somewhere not talking to each other?
Steven: Hmmm... *Steven thinks* Wait, I know what this meal needs! *Steven opens a cupboard* A bag of- *Steven gasps* Onion!?
(Onion is shown inside the cupboard and is holding a bag of Chaaaaps, Onion then jumps out of the cupboard) What the- ? *Steven runs to the door and shuts it before Onion can leave* Oh no, you don't!
(Onion looks at Steven and then proceeds to jump through the screen window)
*Shouting* ONION! *Steven opens Beach House's door, as Onion is running away) We just put that screen in! *Steven chases after Onion* Come back here! Those were going to complete my perfect lunch! *breathing heavily* It's a special flavor that's only in stores for a limited time! *Onion looks back at Steven and keeps running* I know how you are with food, you're not even going to eat them! At least let me have just one! *Onion runs into the garage of his house and Steven follows, and Steven is very sweaty* This...is it, Onion, nowhere to hide! *Steven enters the garage* Now just... just drop the bag and, uh... Onion? (Pan to many paintings of Amethyst) Uh... Amethyst!? Uh... That's really weird... * Exits the house and brings Amethyst* Um... So... I always knew Onion was weird, but... *Camera focuses on one of the paintings of Amethyst* I think he's obsessed with you... What do you think, Amethyst?
Vidalia: *off-screen* Who's in there? I don't know how you got past that tarp, *on-screen, holding a shotgun* but this is private property!
Amethyst: Vidalia!?
Vidalia: Amethyst!?
Amethyst and Vidalia: *They hug each other then laugh*
Vidalia: It's been years!
Amethyst: Man, you've changed! You look TERRIBLE! *Laughs*
Vidalia: You look the same... *Smiles* terrible!
Amethyst and Vidalia: *Laughs again*
Steven: Wait, whaaat? Who's she? How do you know each other?
Amethyst: Oh, we both kinda hung around your dad, but Vidalia's cooler than your dad, so... we started hanging out without him.
Vidalia: *Looks surprised* Is that Steven? Look at him! He looks just like Greg! That's good, that's good. He used to be super hot. *Smiles and laughs, as well as Amethyst*
Steven: *blushes* Uh... So... did you paint these when you used to hang out?
Vidalia: Yeah, some of them. Some are new, though. Amethyst was my favorite model! *winks to Amethyst* Can you still turn into anything?
Amethyst: Heh... Anything *Shape-shifts to a form similar to the painting behind her* but respectable.
Vidalia: *Laughs* Oh, man... We used to get into all sorts of trouble. *gives a photo to Steven* Now tell me, Steven, are we just the spitting image of mischief?
Amethyst: Pfff... Hardly! *laughs* You're wearing slippers.
Vidalia: *Takes photo back* You don't know what I've done in these shoes. *Both laugh* It's great to see you again... Sorry, it's been so long. I guess we've both been busy.
Amethyst: Oh, yeah... I get it. Kids. *grabs Steven*
(Onion enters holding a pair of scissors and hugs Vidalia)
Steven: What about kids?
Vidalia: Oh, here's one now!
Steven: *surprised, shouting* YOU'RE ONION'S MOM!?
Vidalia: *giggles and lifts Onion* Yup, he's my little troublemaker. *Takes scissors and throws them away* And Steven, he loves talking about you. (Onion mumbles on Vidalia's ear) Oh! That's a great idea! Steven, Amethyst, Onion wants to know if you'd like to stay for dinner.
Steven: Ummm-
Amethyst: *Interrupts Steven* We'd love to! *Laughs* R-Right Steven? Onion's like, your best friend? *off screen* Now tell me what you did in those shoes, girl. (next scene) Mmm! I can't eat another bite of...heh, whatever that was.
Vidalia: Oh, it's just a little dish I like to call: noodles and butter.
Amethyst: I can't believe how long it's been! I mean, check this guy out! I used to be bigger than him! *Laughs, then sighs* Do you ever hear from ol' Farty Marty?
Vidalia: Hm? *Laughs* I dunno where that fool is! Don't care either. It's just been me and Yellowtail for a while now.*screen zooms in on her wedding ring*
Amethyst: Whaaaat? Yellowtail?
Vidalia: Yeah, things just kinda happen. *Points at young Sour Cream and baby Onion's photo* Next thing, you know, I'm living with a fisherman. Hahah, you should see your face right now.
(While Amethyst and Vidalia are chatting, Steven greets Sour Cream.)
Steven: Hey, Sour Cream!
Amethyst: *Laughs* I just didn't expect any of this!
Vidalia: Well, it's just how it is now.
(Sour Cream is still listening to the music. He responds to Steven with hand sign, then continue listening the music again.)
(Onion sculpting his mashed potatoes into something.)
Amethyst: So where's ol' Fishtail at?
(Steven glares at Onion. Onion then turns his plate around to reveal that he sculpted his mashed potatoes into a rough statue of Steven's head.)
Vidalia: (quietly, in the background) Uh, it's Yellowtail... He spends a lot of time out at sea somewhere. (???)
(Onion finishes a Steven-shaped sculpture of mashed potatoes.)
Steven: *Happily* Hey! It's me!
Amethyst: (quietly, in the background) Haha, dude, you used to complain so much about the smell of the bass.
(Onion disturbingly licks the back of the mashed potatoes stack and chews. Stevens glares at him again, and Onion opens his mouth to let the chewed-up mashed potatoes spill out on the table)
Vidalia: (quietly, in the background) It used to be so gross over there, now there are these fancy boats (???) around. Remember when we snuck under the mayor's boat and trashed it?
Steven: Why do you hate food?
Amethyst: (quietly in the background) Ha ha, yeah, I remember.
(Scene changes to Vidalia washing the dishes.)
Vidalia: What about you, Amethyst?
Amethyst: Huh?
Vidalia: You haven't said a word about yourself all night.
Amethyst: Well, that's because my life is boring.
Vidalia: Alright, how are the Gems?
Amethyst: I dunno. *sighs* They're boring too.
Steven: Okay, thanks for dinner, time to go! Right, Amethyst?
Amethyst: What's the hurry? We've got nothing to do. Besides, an Amethyst-Vidalia party don't end 'till the sun come up.
Onion: Mama!
Vidalia: What's that?
Onion: *mumbling*
Vidalia: Oh! That's a great idea. Steven, Onion wants to show you around the house. What do you say? Can Onion tow you around?
Steven: *Sweats and stares at Onion as the electricity begins to falter* Uhhh! What's going on?
Vidalia: Oh, whenever Sour Cream starts DJing, it uses all the electricity in the house. Good thing Yellowtail's not here. It drives him nuts.
Amethyst: Dude! Your house is jacked.
Vidalia: What can you do? Kids gotta express themselves.
Onion: *Slams his hands on the mashed potato, splattering it everywhere*
Vidalia: *Laughs* You too, Onion. Very expressive. *Looks at Steven* Looks like he's ready for you, Steven.
Onion: *Stares at Steven and smiles slightly, as Steven stares back*
(Scene changes to Onion's room)
Steven: *Looks around* Uh... cool shopping cart. *Onion runs past him* Ah!
Onion: *Hops onto a small trampoline and then onto his bed; he then starts jumping up and down on the bed*
Steven: Why don't you just jump up and down on that trampoline? I mean, it's like, right there. But it's your room, so do whatever you want. *A mouse crawls onto Steven's foot, and he gasps* You have a little mousey roommate friend! Awww! Oh?
Onion: *Jumps off the bed and scoops up the mouse when it runs close to him*
Steven: Is that your pet?
Onion: *Walks over to a large container*
Steven: Oh, that must be where he lives, right? Let me help you put him in his home. *Looks into the container* This is a pretty large container for a little baby--SNAKE!? Onion, you want me to feed our little friend to this snake, huh?
Onion: *Nods*
Steven: Oh. *Shudders and groans, and then looks at the mouse* Sorry, but... we all gotta eat. I... can't... ugh! *Hands the mouse to Onion* Just take him from me! I-I'll be over here! *runs off-screen*
Onion: *Holds the mouse by its tail*
Steven: *shivers and sweats as he hears squeaking, and then the sound of the container closing*
Onion: *walks over to Steven*
Steven: Uh... you don't have any more... weird pets to show me, do you?
Onion: *Walks over to a television with a VCR player*
Steven: You... gonna put on a movie? That'd be nice- *Onion inserts a VHS tape* and not creepy at all. *Both he and Onion watch* Cool hospital setting.
Vidalia: (on tape) Okay, I'm ready.
Steven: Hey, that's your mom!
Vidalia: (on tape) I'm ready!
Steven: What's she getting ready for?
Vidalia: (on tape) *Moaning* Ohhh, oh, Yellowtail... I think... *Moans louder* It's happening!
Steven: *Covering eyes* Ah! Wait! What's going on?
Onion: *Shows the VHS case to Steven*
Vidalia: (on tape) *Moaning* Here he comes!
Steven: *Reads writing on VHS case* "Happy... birthday... Onion"? Is this you being born!? Ahh! *Covers his eyes again as more moans from the video are heard*
Onion: *Turns off the television*
Steven: *Sighs* I can't take much more of this.
Onion: *Climbs onto his bed and peels off a poster, revealing a secret passage*
Steven: Where...?
Onion: *Beckons with his hand, making a scary expression, while the electricity falters again*
Steven: *Starts to leave the room through the door* Okay, I'm out, can't do this anymore, need to go home. *Walks downstairs* Amethyst, I'm sorry, but it's time to- *Stops and watches Amethyst and Vidalia*
Amethyst: *Sitting on the sofa with Vidalia, who is drinking tea* Even Garnet! Like, I've never seen Garnet this upset. *Sighs* It's awful at home. I feel trapped.
Vidalia: That's crazy! I know what you mean though.
Amethyst: You do?
Vidalia: Hey, we don't always get along in this family. Yellowtail and Sour Cream are always at each other's throats. It makes me nuts. Actually, when I get like that, I think about you! And how you could always just roll with it.
Amethyst: Whaaat? No, that was you! You were so, ah, cool! *Cut to Steven's shocked face*I was just like, a dumb sponge following you around.
Vidalia: But you were down for anything, not afraid of anything. You know how much I wanted to be like you? *Sighs* I still think about it. To be honest, that's why I started painting you again. I'm... I'm inspired by you, Amethyst. Ooh, looks like I'm gonna need more tea! *Holds up teabag* You wanna eat this bag?
Amethyst: Yeah! *Laughs* My favorite.
Vidalia: Okay, I'll be riiight back. Good thing the kids are keeping themselves busy.
Steven: *Sighs and walks back upstairs* Okay Onion, let's do this. Whatever weird or horrible thing you have planned for me, I can take it.
Onion: *Crawls into the hidden vent, followed by Steven*
Steven: *Panting* Hey, slow down! *Keeps crawling through the vent after Onion, and it gradually gets darker* Oh boy, this is gonna be bad. U-uh... Onion, where are you?
Onion: *Turns on the light and is standing in a small room*
Steven: What's this room? *Climbs out of the vent and grunts* Oof!
Onion: *Walks to a small chest near the middle of the room*
Steven: What's in there? Something horrible?
Onion: *Opens the chest and smiles*
Steven: *Sweats and gasps* Onion! It's full of G.U.Y.S! *Picks up one of the figures* Wow! I've never seen this red variant of Ninja Guy before! You have G.A.L.S. too? *Picks up each figure and names it* Hard-hat Gal, Triangle Gal, Orange Gal, Karen! Karen... How did you get a hold of...? No, don't tell me.
Onion: *Hands something to Steven*
Steven: Hm? ...No way! It's... Explorer Gal! She's so cool-looking! *Begins to give the figure back to Onion* Thanks for showing her to m--*Onion refuses to take back the figure* ...Y-You should take your Explorer Gal back.
Onion: *Shakes his head*
Steven: Are you... giving this to me?
Onion: *nods*
Steven: *Gasps* I can't believe it! Thank you so much, Onion! Oh man, what other G.A.L.S. and G.U.Y.S. you got?
Onion: *Shows an empty looking capsule to Steven*
Steven: Huh, cool. Invisible Guy.
(Scene changes to night outside the Onion's house, with Steven and Amethyst ready to go home)
Vidalia: And stay out! *Laughs*
Amethyst: Umm, thanks for dinner. And for listening.
Vidalia: Well- thanks for breaking into my house! And don't worry about that other stuff. It's gonna blow over. You're a rock! That's what you are, right?
Amethyst: Eh, something like that.
Vidalia: Well, whatever you are, don't be a stranger.
Amethyst: Yeah, I can stop by any time if you need... "inspiration".
Vidalia: *Laughs*
Amethyst: Or if you want, you could come over to the temple sometime too. You could even bring Onion for Steven to hang with.
Steven: *Gives a start*
Vidalia: Oh, well, that sounds great to us. What about you, Steven? Ready for another round with this guy? *looks at Onion*
Steven: *Smiles at Onion*
Onion: *Opens mouth to reveal the mouse from earlier; it squeaks and hops out of his mouth*
(Star wipe closes around Steven)
Steven: *Stares and sweats, and then laughs nervously* Yeah, we'll see!
(Star wipe completely closes in)
(End)