Open Book/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Open Book". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Rose's Scabbard"

Next: "Shirt Club"

Speaker	Dialogue
(Steven is reading 'Destiny's End', the last book in the "Spirit Morph Saga", while an agitated Connie watches nearby. Steven finishes the book and let a deep sigh.)
Connie	*clears her throat* So... what did you think of the ending?
Steven	Uh, I thought it was on page 917?
Connie	I thought it was a disaster!
Steven	Uuuhhh...
Connie	*stands up and begins pacing around* All the books leading up to this seemed to be taking on and subverting these "witch tropes" ... Really self-aware about being a pastiche, you know?
Steven	Uhm-
Connie	But in the end, none of that even mattered. Lisa and her talking falcon, rebels challenging the stifling traditions of the magical bureaucracy? I loved that. Then her falcon turns into a human and they get married?! It completely dropped all the anti-authoritarian stuff and described a wedding cake for fifty pages!
Steven	*tries to play along* Yeah, that cake was worthy of twenty pages, tops. There weren't even strawberries on it.
Connie	I bet since the books got so popular, the publisher put pressure on the author to water down the end for a larger audience appeal. (Steven grows increasingly uneasy.) Unlike art, the real world can't always win against the iron chains of authority. *lies down on the couch next to Steven, sighing deeply* That's my theory, anyway.
Steven	Hmm...
Connie	It's just disappointing, considering I invested extra money in the hard cover copies... *takes the book from Steven's hands and opens it, and colored maps fall out* ... with maps.
Steven	I wish I could give you a new ending.
Steven and Connie smile at each other, when Steven's gem starts glowing, activating Rose's Room of the Crystal Temple.)
Steven	The temple door! It opened for me! *gasps* I can make anything I want in there! I can make us a new ending!
Connie	Really? Well, what are we waiting for?
(Connie grabs Steven's hand and they both run inside Rose's Room.)
Steven	Uh... ta-da!
Connie	Cool...
Steven	This is my mom's room. I can control it, like this. *announces loudly* I want a Tiny Floating Whale to give me some fin!
(The Tiny Floating Whale appears, gives Steven a fin-five, makes a tiny whale noise, and poofs away.)
Connie	*amused* Unbelievable! How does it work?
Steven	The room can make stuff out of clouds. We can make anything.
Connie	Anything? How about the Infinity Fair from Book Four? With merchants from a million lands, selling goods from cultures long gone and yet to be!
Steven	We should probably keep it simple. We don't want to overload the room.
Connie	How about half the Infinity Fair? ... No, that's still infinity. Simple. Okay, well, what really matters are the characters. You should be Archamicarus.
Steven	Okay. Room, I want to be a falcon! (A falcon costume appears on him, and he poses in front of a background of a large falcon in flight.) Oh, yeah, gotta keep it simple. (The background poofs away.)
Connie	*claps* Amazing! Okay, my turn. Room, I want to be Lisa. (Nothing happens.) Do I need to be more specific? You were pretty general with the falcon thing.
Steven	Oh, sorry. I guess the room just makes things when I want it. Maybe this won't work after all...
Connie	Why don't you just have it make a costume shop?
Steven	Oh yeah, good idea. I want a costume shop!
(A costume shop appears before Steven, and Connie run inside the shop, while Steven waits outside.)
Connie	Wow, this place has everything! Even the childhood tunic! Wait, you thought it was red?
Steven	Yeah, the color of the setting sun.
Connie	*matter-of-factly* The sun sets black over the mine, Steven.
Steven	Are you going to be young Lisa?
Connie	Well, if we're really reworking this thing, I'm gonna make the ultimate Lisa, with the best gear from every book! Like... what if she never lost her iron sword?
Steven	Whoa!
Connie	And the cloak and the clasp are too signature not to do.
Steven	For sure!
Connie	And I always liked the dragon whisker boots from the volcano stuff in Book Three.
Steven	Are you almost done?
Connie	Wait a minute!
Steven	*blushes* Come out, I wanna see you!
(Connie then emerges out of costume shop, outfitted in a Robin Hood-esque outfit, complete with an eye patch.)
Steven	Whoa, you look awesome.
Connie	*blushes* Thanks.
Steven	Okay, lets do this!
(Steven and Connie run off laughing to another area in the room.)
Steven	So, at the end of the series, Lisa and her falcon familiar, Archamicarus, are at the altar... (A wedding canopy appears],) With a cleric... (A priest appears.) About to get married. (Connie's outfit becomes a wedding gown, and Steven is down on one knee.) But we don't want that ending. (The wedding scene and clothes poof away.) So instead, hmm... uhhh... I don't know. What do you think?
Connie	Hmm, what do you think?
Steven	*caught off-guard* Uhh, well, h-how about a different proposal, Lisa... a business proposal! We can start a business together and sell... uh, sell... turkey legs to make money to help out our fellow rebel comrades!
Connie	Yeah, that's great!
(A food cart appears before Steven.)
Steven	I want an umbrella with that, if you would, Room.
(An umbrella appears on the food cart.)
Steven	Turkey Legs! Get your rebel turkey legs!
(Steven and Connie pushes the food cart along, various buildings appear and disappear as they walk by.)
Steven	You think its okay for me to eat this if I'm a falcon?
Connie	You are a bird of prey.
Steven	So... what should our next move be as business partners?
Connie	You tell me!
Steven	Yeah? Oh, um... let's feed the Wind Lizard!
(The Wind Lizard appears.)
Steven	*laughs* Look at this guy, he totally looks like a rebel!
Connie	Wow, from Book Four!
(The Wind Lizard screeches.)
Steven	Now, I know he lives in the mountains but he's just visiting because he heard about these turkey legs. Lisa, would you like to do the honors?
Connie	Okay!
(Steven hands Connie a turkey leg and she feeds the Wind Lizard, who chomps and swallows it whole.)
Connie	He ate the bones!
Steven	Okay! *scratches head* I guess our business is a success!
Connie	If you think so!
Steven	So, what now? Didn't you have a bunch of ideas? That it needed to more anti-authority and stuff?
Connie	Sure!
Steven	... Okaaaaaaay.
(The Wind Lizard poofs away.)
Steven	So... We're- we're stopped by the authorities?
(Three knights appears before Steven.)
Steven	Because... because we're selling without a permit!
(A "Laws" scroll reading lots of "blah" appears in a knight's hand.)
Steven	And we're not old enough to drive a cart!
(Another "Laws" scroll, reading lots of "blah" and "They're pretty serious, guys", appears in another knight's hand.)
Steven	But these are uh, free-range turkeys! And they didn't listen to anybody, and that's what we're gonna do... right?
Connie	Whatever you think!
Steven	Really? All right. And then, I think they... don't like that, and they attack us!
(The "Laws" scrolls transform into axes in the knights' hands and they start advancing.)
Steven	You can't stop us! *throws a turkey leg at the knights*
(The knights starts hacking away at the food cart, and Steven and Connie hide behind it.)
Steven	Jeez, these guys are corrupt! What should we do about 'em huh?
Connie	What do you think we should do?
Steven	*blushes* C-come on I'm really trying here! How do you want this story to end?
Connie	How do you want this story to end?
Steven	I don't know! I just wanted to do this for you. This isn't really like you I- *sigh* I don't want you to just do what I want.
Connie	*startled* Uh, uhh... You want me to, not, d-do what you want?
Steven	Connie, are you all right?
Connie	I want what you want, what you want-want-want-want-
(Connie starts glitching out and keeps repeating "want", as Steven has a flashback.)
Steven	I want a tiny floating whale to give me some fin! (Tiny Floating Whale appears.) I want a costume shop! (A costume shop appears.) I wanna see you! ("Connie" comes out of the shop.)
(The flashback ends and Steven suddenly realizes, staring at the glitching "Connie".)
Steven	I-I created you! You're not Connie! I must've left the real Connie back at the costume shop. Sh-she could be anywhere! No, no, no, no, NO! I'm done, I'm done playing!
(Steven's falcon costume poofs away as Cloud Connie stares at him. He then proceeds to poof away everything else, including Cloud Connie. He sits down to catch his breath, when Cloud Connie reforms.)
Steven	*sweating* Why didn't you disappear with everything else?
Cloud Connie	You told me not to do what you wanted.
Steven	Uh... URGGHHH! Where is Connie?
Connie	*distantly* Steven? Steven?
Steven	Connie? C-Connie, Is that you?
(Steven starts looking around, when Cloud Connie grabs Steven's hand.)
Steven	*gasps* Please let me go, I want to find the real Connie!
Cloud Connie	You told me you wanted-
Steven	That doesn't matter!
(Steven starts running off and Cloud Connie chases after him.)
Steven	*panting* Please don't follow me, I don't want you to follow me! Cart!
(Steven summons a food cart and Cloud Connie easily jumps over it.)
Steven	Ah! Uhh... Wind Lizard!
(The Wind Lizard appears underneath Steven and it flies off with him riding it. Cloud Connie grabs onto its tail and climbs aboard as well. Steven keeps looking around the room from above to look for Connie.)
Steven	Connie can you hear me?
Connie	Steven? Steven!?
Steven	*spots a silhouette in the distance* Connie, I'm almost there, just a little bit further! AH!
(Cloud Connie pushes Steven off of the Wind Lizard and they begin to fall.)
Cloud Connie	Rrrr.
Steven	Please, I don't want you, I want the REAL Connie!
(Steven lands face-first and tumbles on the ground and Cloud Connie lands behind him.)
Cloud Connie	I know what you really want, I know how you REALLY feel! *approaches Steven, now wearing the wedding gown*
Connie	Steven? *runs through the clouds towards Steven* Ah Steven, finally, there you... are?
(Connie sees Cloud Connie pinning a struggling Steven.)
Steven	*tears up* Help!
(Connie quickly runs up to Cloud Connie and pushes her away from Steven. Cloud Connie grunts and charges back at the pair.)
Connie	Keep away from him!
(Connie steps in and slashes her iron sword at Cloud Connie, slicing her in half and she poofs away. Cloud Connie reforms back shortly in front of Steven.)
Cloud Connie	I know you like her!
(Connie steps in between Cloud Connie and Steven, and raises her iron sword in defend to defend Steven.)
Cloud Connie	And I know you want her to like you too.
Steven	No, don't listen! *tears up*
(Connie slashes at Cloud Connie again, causing her to poof away. Cloud Connie then reform back on top of Steven.)
Cloud Connie	That's why you can't tell her the truth, but you WANT to! *pins Steven's head down* You wanna tell her!
Steven	No!
Connie	Get off of him! *charges towards Steven and Cloud Connie*
Cloud Connie	Tell her Steven!
Steven	I- Unggggh...
Cloud Connie	TELL HER!
Steven	Mmmmrng... I like the ending of the book!
(Connie stops charging forward.)
Connie	What?
Steven	I-I thought it was sweet that Lisa and Archimicarus got together in the end! They were always so thoughtful towards each other, and I was so happy when they found the spell to make him human, and I loved every page about the cake, I wanted to draw a picture of it! I'm... I'm sorry I pretended not to like it, I just didn't want you to think less of me.
Cloud Connie	*sighs and releases Steven* That's better.
(Cloud Connie finally poofs away, and Connie walks towards Steven.)
Steven	D-do you think I'm a bad person for liking the ending?
Connie	Of course not I... Steven, it's just a book!
Steven	But, you really care about it!
Connie	I care about you more.
Steven	Even though I liked the wedding?
Connie	Oh, of course you liked the wedding...You're Steven, you love "schmaltz".
(Connie offers her hand and helps Steven up. The pair then exits Rose's room through the Temple Gate.)
Steven	You make a good point, but don't you remember how Archimicarus cried in Book Three?
Connie	I thought that was because they lost the sword!
Steven	No, she almost fell into the volcano! He was worried about her!
Connie	But she had access to frost spells.
Steven	Yeah but Archimicarus didn't know that! Even birds can fall in love!
Connie	I guess you could read it that way!
(The screen pans towards a crayon drawing in Steven's room, of Lisa and Archimicarus getting married. The star iris then zooms in on the drawing, ending the episode.
[END]