Open Book/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of Open Book. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Rose's Scabbard"

Next: "Shirt Club"

Speaker	Dialogue
(Steven is reading 'Destiny's End,' the last book in the "Spirit Morph Saga.")
Steven	*turns page, closes book, and exhales*
Connie	*clears her throat* So... what did you think of the ending?
Steven	Uh, I thought it was on page 917?
Connie	I thought it was a disaster!
Steven	*sweating* Uuuhhh...
Connie	*stands up and begins pacing around* All the books leading up to this seemed to be taking on and subverting these "witch tropes" ... really self-aware about being a pastiche, you know?
Steven	Uhm-
Connie	But in the end, none of that even mattered. Lisa and her talking falcon, rebels challenging the stifling traditions of the magical bureaucracy? I loved that. Then her falcon turns into a human and they get married?! It completely dropped all the anti-authoritarian stuff and described a wedding cake for fifty pages!
Steven	*going along with it* Yeah, that cake was worthy of twenty pages, tops. There weren't even strawberries on it.
Connie	I bet since the books got so popular, the publisher put pressure on the author to water down the end for a larger audience appeal. (Steven looks uneasy.) Unlike art, the real world can't always win against the iron chains of authority. *lies down on the couch next to Steven, sighing deeply* That's my theory, anyway.
Steven	Hmm...
Connie	It's just disappointing, considering I invested extra money in the hard cover copies... *takes the book from Steven's hands and opens it, colored maps fall out* ... with maps.
Steven	I wish I could give you a new ending.
(Connie looks at him and smiles.)
(Steven's gem glows, activating Rose's Room. They get up to investigate the opened door.)
Steven	The temple door! It opened for me! *gasps* I can make anything I want in there! I can make us a new ending!
Connie	Really? Well, what are we waiting for?
(The two run inside Rose's Room.)
Steven	Uh... ta-da!
Connie	Cool.
Steven	This is my mom's room. I can control it, like this. *announces loudly* I want a tiny floating whale to give me some fin!
(Whale appears, gives him a fin-five, makes a tiny "ah-ooo" sound, and disappears.)
Connie	*astonished* Unbelievable! How does it work?
Steven	The room can make stuff out of clouds. We can make anything.
Connie	Anything? How about the Infinity Fair from Book Four? With merchants from a million lands, selling goods from cultures long gone and yet to be!
Steven	We should probably keep it simple. We don't want to overload the room.
Connie	How about half the Infinity Fair? ... No, that's still infinity. Simple. Okay, well, what really matters are the characters. You should be Archamicarus.
Steven	Okay. Room, I want to be a falcon! [Dramatic music plays] (A falcon costume appears on him, and he poses in front of a background of a large falcon in flight.) Oh, yeah, gotta keep it simple. [Music stops and background falcon disappears]
Connie	*claps* Amazing! Okay, my turn. Room, I want to be Lisa. (Nothing happens.) Do I need to be more specific? You were pretty general with the falcon thing.
Steven	Oh, sorry. I guess the room just makes things when I want it. Maybe this won't work after all...
Connie	Why don't you just have it make a costume shop?
Steven	Oh yeah, good idea. I want a costume shop!
(A costume shop appears. Connie runs inside the shop.)
Connie	Wow, this place has everything! Even the childhood tunic! Wait, you thought it was red?
Steven	Yeah, the color of the setting sun.
Connie	*matter-of-factly* The sun sets black over the mine, Steven.
Steven	Are you going to be young Lisa?
Connie	Well, if we're really reworking this thing, I'm gonna make the ultimate Lisa, with the best gear from every book! Like... what if she never lost her iron sword?
Steven	Whoa!
Connie	And the cloak and the clasp are too signature not to do.
Steven	For sure!
Connie	And I always liked the dragon whisker boots from the volcano stuff in Book Three.
Steven	Are you almost done?
Connie	Wait a minute!
Steven	*blushes* Come out, I want to see you!
(Cloud Connie comes out of costume shop, outfitted in a Robin Hood-esque outfit, complete with an eye patch.)
Steven	Whoa, you look awesome.
Cloud Connie	*blushes* Thanks.
Steven	Okay, lets do this!
(Steven and Cloud Connie run off laughing to somewhere else in the room.)
Steven	So, at the end of the series, Lisa and her falcon familiar, Archamicarus, are at the altar... [Altar appears] With a cleric... [Priest appears] About to get married. (Connie's outfit becomes a wedding dress, and Steven is down on one knee.) But we don't want that ending. [Wedding scene and clothes disappear] So instead, hmm, uhhh, I don't know. What do you think?
Cloud Connie	Hmm, what do you think?
Steven	*caught off-guard* Uhh, well, h-how about a different proposal, Lisa... a business proposal! We can start a business together and sell... uh, sell... turkey legs to make money to help out our fellow rebel comrades!
Cloud Connie	Yeah, that's great!
[A food cart appears]
Steven	I want an umbrella with that, if you would, Room.
[Umbrella appears]
Steven	Turkey Legs! Get your rebel turkey legs!
[Buildings appear and disappear as they walk by]
Steven	You think its okay for me to eat this if I'm a falcon?
Cloud Connie	You are a bird of prey.
Steven	So... what should our next move be as business partners?
Cloud Connie	You tell me!
Steven	Yeah? Oh, um... let's feed the Wind Lizard!
[Wind Lizard appears]
Steven	*laughs* Look at this guy, he totally looks like a rebel!
Cloud Connie	Wow, from Book Four!
Wind Lizard	*screeches*
Steven	Now, I know he lives in the mountains but he's just visiting because he heard about these turkey legs. Lisa, would you like to do the honors?
Cloud Connie	Okay!
Wind Lizard	*screeches and eats the whole turkey leg*
Cloud Connie	He ate the bones!
Steven	Okay! *scratches head* I guess our business is a success!
Cloud Connie	If you think so!
Steven	So, what now? Didn't you have a bunch of ideas? That it needed to more anti-authority and stuff?
Cloud Connie	Sure!
Steven	... Okaaaaaaay.
[Wind Lizard disappears]
Steven	So, we're... we're stopped by the authorities?
[Knights appear]
Steven	Because... because we're selling without a permit!
[Scroll appears in one knight's hand]
Steven	And we're not old enough to drive a cart!
[Scroll appears in another knight's hand]
Steven	But these are uh, free-range turkeys! And they didn't listen to anybody, and that's what we're gonna do... right?
Cloud Connie	Whatever you think!
Steven	Really? All right. And then, I think they... don't like that, and they attack us!
[Axes appear in the knights hands]
Steven	You can't stop us! *throws turkey leg*
(The knights advance, and start attacking the cart.)
Steven	Jeez, these guys are corrupt! What should we do about 'em huh?
Cloud Connie	What do you think we should do?
Steven	*blushes* C-come on I'm really trying here! How do you want this story to end?
Cloud Connie	How do you want this story to end?
Steven	I don't know! I just wanted to do this for you. This isn't really like you I- *sigh* I don't want you to just do what I want.
Cloud Connie	Uh, you want me to not d-do what you want?
Steven	Connie, are you all right?
Cloud Connie	I want what you want, what you want-want-want-want *repeats*
[Flashback]
Steven	I want a tiny floating whale to give me some fin! [Whale appears] I want a costume shop! [Shop appears] I wanna see you! [Cloud Connie comes out]
Steven	I-I created you! You're not Connie! I must've left the real Connie back at the costume shop. Sh-she could be anywhere! No, no, no, no, NO! I'm done, I'm done playing! *Steven's costume poofs away*
(Steven poofs away his costume, the grass, the turkey cart, and then the knights. He tries to poof Cloud Connie away but she comes back.)
Steven	*gasps*
(Cloud Connie reforms.)
Steven	*sweating* Why didn't you disappear with everything else?
Connie	You told me not to do what you wanted.
Steven	Uh... RRRRNG- where is Connie?
Connie	*distantly* Steven? Steven?
Steven	Connie? C-Connie, Is that you?
(Cloud Connie grabs Steven's hand.)
Steven	*gasp* Please let me go, I want to find the real Connie!
Cloud Connie	You told me you wanted-
Steven	That doesn't matter! *runs while panting, while Cloud Connie chases after* Please don't follow me, I don't want you to follow me!
[Pans to Cloud Connie not responding]
Steven	*still gasping* Cart!
[Cart appears and Cloud Connie jumps over it]
Steven	AH, uh, WIND LIZARD!
[Wind Lizard appears]
Wind Lizard	*screeches*
(Steven climbs on Wind Lizard while Cloud Connie follows suit.)
Steven	*stammering* Connie can you hear me?
Connie	Steven? Steven?!
Steven	Connie, I'm almost there, just a little bit further! AH! (Cloud Connie pushes Steven off.)
(Steven falls and hits the cloud ground as Cloud Connie lands behind him.)
Cloud Connie	Rrrr.
Steven	Please, I don't want you, I want the REAL Connie!
Cloud Connie	I know what you really want, I know how you REALLY feel! (The wedding gown from before appears on her.)
Connie	Steven? *runs through clouds* Ah Steven finally, there you... are.
[Pans to Cloud Connie pinning down Steven]
Steven	*stammering* Help!
(Connie runs to Cloud Connie and pushes her away.)
Connie	AH!
Cloud Connie	*grunting noises*
Connie	Keep away from him! *slashes sword*
(Cloud Connie poofs away, but poofs back.)
Cloud Connie	*to Steven* I know you like her!
(Connie lifts up sword to defend Steven.)
Cloud Connie	And I know you want her to like you too.
Steven	No, don't listen! *tears up*
(Connie slashes Cloud Connie causing her to poof away again.)
(Cloud Connie poofs back on top of Steven.)
Cloud Connie	That's why you can't tell her the truth, but you WANT to! You wanna tell her!
Steven	No!
(Connie runs toward them.)
Connie	Get off of him!
Cloud Connie	Tell her Steven!
Steven	I- unggggh...
Cloud Connie	Tell her!
Steven	Mmmmrng... - I liked the ending of the book!
(Connie stops.)
Connie	What?
Steven	I-I thought it was sweet that Lisa and Archimicarus got together in the end! They were always so thoughtful towards each other, and I was so happy when they found the spell to make him human, and I loved every page about the cake, I wanted to draw a picture of it! I'm-I'm sorry I pretended not to like it, I just didn't want you to think less of me.
Cloud Connie	*sigh* That's better.
(Cloud Connie poofs away.)
(Connie walks towards Steven.)
Steven	Do-do you think I'm a bad person for liking the ending?
Connie	Of course not I... Steven it's just a book!
Steven	But, you really care about it!
Connie	I care about you more.
Steven	Even though I liked the wedding.
Connie	Oh, of course you liked the wedding...You're Steven, you love "schmaltz".
(Connie helps Steven up.)
(The gem door opens allowing Steven and Connie to exit.)
Steven	You make a good point, but don't you remember how Archimicarus cried in Book Three?
Connie	I thought that was because they lost the sword!
Steven	No, she almost fell into the volcano! He was worried about her!
Connie	But she had access to frost spells.
Steven	Yeah but Archimicarus didn't know that! Even birds can fall in love!
Connie	I guess you could read it that way!
[Pans to Steven's drawing of Lisa and Archimicarus, as Star iris closes in and fades to black]
[END]