This is a transcribed copy of Open Book. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
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(Steven is reading Destiny's End, the last book in the Spirit Morph Saga.)
Steven: *turns page, closes book, and exhales*
Connie: *clears throat* So...what did you think of the ending?
Steven: Uh, I thought it was on page 917?
Connie: I thought it was a disaster!
Steven: *sweating* Uuuhhh...
Connie: *stands up and begins pacing around* All the books leading up to this seemed to be taking on and subverting these "Witch Tropes"...really self-aware about being a pastiche, you know?
Steven: Uhm-
Connie: But in the end, none of that even mattered. Lisa and her talking falcon, rebels challenging the stifling traditions of the magical bureaucracy? I loved that. Then her falcon turns into a human and they get married?! It completely dropped all the anti-authoritarian stuff and described a wedding cake for fifty pages!
Steven: *going along with it* Yeah, that cake was worthy of twenty pages, tops. There weren't even strawberries on it.
Connie: I bet since the books got so popular, the publisher put pressure on the author to water down the end for a larger audience appeal. *Steven looks uneasy* Unlike art, the real world can't always win against the iron chains of authority. *she lies down on the couch next to Steven, sighing deeply* That's my theory, anyway.
Steven: Hmm..
Connie: It's just disappointing, considering I invested extra money in the hard cover copies...*takes the book from Steven's hands and opens it, colored maps fall out*...with maps.
Steven: I wish I could give you a new ending.
(Connie looks at him and smiles.)
(Steven's gem glows, activating Rose's Room. They get up to investigate the opened door.)
Steven: The temple door! It opened for me! *gasps* I can make anything I want in there! I can make us a new ending!
Connie: Really? Well, what are we waiting for?
[The two run inside Rose's Room.]
Steven: Uh...ta-da!
Connie: Cool.
Steven: This is my mom's room. I can control it, like this. (Announces loudly) I want a tiny floating whale to give me some fin!
[Whale appears, gives him a fin-five, makes a tiny "ah-ooo" sound, and disappears.]
Connie: *astonished* Unbelievable! How does it work?
Steven: The room can make stuff out of clouds. We can make anything.
Connie: Anything? How about the Infinity Fair from Book 4? With merchants from a million lands, selling goods from cultures long gone and yet to be!
Steven: We should probably keep it simple. We don't want to overload the room.
Connie: How about half the Infinity Fair? ...no, that's still infinity. Simple. Okay, well, what really matters are the characters. You should be Archamicarus.
Steven: Okay. Room, I want to be a falcon! [Dramatic music plays. A falcon costume appears on him, and he poses in front of a background of a large falcon in flight.] Oh, yeah, gotta keep it simple. [Music stops and background disappears.]
Connie: [Claps.] Amazing! Okay, my turn. Room, I want to be Lisa. [Nothing happens.] Do I need to be more specific? You were pretty general with the falcon thing.
Steven: Oh, sorry. I guess the room just makes things when I want it. Maybe this won't work after all....
Connie: Why don't you just have it make a costume shop?
Steven: Oh yeah, good idea. I want a costume shop!
[Costume shop appears. Connie runs inside the shop.]
Connie: Wow, this place has everything! Even the childhood tunic! Wait, you thought it was red?
Steven: Yeah, the color of the setting sun.
Connie: (Matter-of-factly) The sun sets black over the mine, Steven.
Steven: Are you going to be young Lisa?
Connie: Well, if we're really reworking this thing, I'm gonna make the ultimate Lisa, with the best gear from every book! Like...what if she never lost her iron sword?
Steven: Whoa!
Connie: And the cloak and the clasp are too signature not to do.
Steven: For sure!
Connie: And I always liked the dragon whisker boots from the volcano stuff in Book 3.
Steven: Are you almost done?
Connie: Wait a minute!
Steven: Come out, I want to see you!
[Cloud Connie comes out of costume shop, outfitted in a Robin Hood-esque outfit, complete with an eyepatch.]
Steven: Whoa, you look awesome.
Cloud Connie: Thanks.
Steven: Okay, lets do this!
[Steven and Cloud Connie run off laughing to somewhere else in the room.]
Steven: So, at the end of the series, Lisa and her falcon familiar, Archamicarus, are at the altar... [Altar appears.] With a cleric... [Priest appears.] About to get married. [Connie's outfit becomes a wedding dress, and Steven is down on one knee.] But we don't want that ending. [Wedding scene/clothes disappear.] So instead, hmm, uhhh, I don't know. What do you think?
Cloud Connie: Hmm, what do you think?
Steven: (Caught off-guard) Uhh, well, h-how about a different proposal, Lisa...a business proposal! We can start a business together and sell......uh, sell.....turkey legs to make money to help out our fellow rebel comrades!
Cloud Connie: Yeah, that's great!
[A food cart appears.]
Steven: I want an umbrella with that, if you would, Room.
[Umbrella appears.]
Steven: Turkey Legs! Get your rebel turkey legs!
[Buildings appear and disappear as they walk by]
Steven: You think its okay for me to eat this if I'm a falcon?
Cloud Connie: You are a bird of prey.
Steven: So...what should our next move be as business partners?
Cloud Connie: You tell me!
Steven: Yeah? Oh, um...let's feed the Wind Lizard!
[Wind Lizard Appears]
Steven: (Steven laughs) Look at this guy, he totally looks like a rebel!
Cloud Connie: Wow, from book four!
Wind Lizard: (Screeches)
Steven: Now, I know he lives in the mountains but he's just visiting because he heard about these turkey legs. Lisa, would you like to do the honors?
Cloud Connie: Okay!
Wind Lizard: (Screeches) [Eats the whole Turkey leg]
Cloud Connie: He ate the bones!
Steven: Okay! [Scratches head] I guess our business is a success!
Cloud Connie: If you think so!
Steven: So, what now? Didn't you have a bunch of ideas? That it needed to more anti-authority and stuff?
Cloud Connie: Sure!
Steven: ...Okaaaaaaay.
[Wind Lizard disappears]
Steven: So, we're...we're stopped by the authorities?
[Knights appear]
Steven: Because...because we're selling without a permit!
[Scroll appears in one knight's hand]
Steven: And we're not old enough to drive a cart!
[Scroll appears in another knight's hand]
Steven: But these are uh, free-range turkeys! And they didn't listen to anybody, and that's what we're gonna do...right?
Cloud Connie: Whatever you think!
Steven: Really? All right. And then, I think they...don't like that, and they attack us!
[Axes appear in the knights hands]
Steven: You can't stop us! [Throws turkey leg]
[Knights advance, and start attacking the cart]
Steven: Jeez, these guys are corrupt! What should we do about em huh?
Cloud Connie: What do you think we should do?
Steven: [Steven Blushes] C-come on I'm really trying here! How do you want this story to end?
Cloud Connie: How do you want this story to end?
Steven: I don't know! I just wanted to do this for you. This isn't really like you I- (sigh) I don't want you to just do what I want.
Cloud Connie: Uh, you want me to not d-do what you want?
Steven: Connie are you all right?
Cloud Connie: I want what you want, what you want-want-want-want (repeats)
[Flashback]
Steven: I want a tiny floating whale to give me some fin! [Whale appears] I want a costume shop! [Shop appears] I wanna see you! [Cloud Connie comes out]
Steven: I-I created you! You're not Connie! I must've left the real Connie back at the costume shop. Sh-she could be anywhere! No, no, no, no, NO! I'm done, I'm done playing! [Steven's costume poofs away]
[Grass poofs away, then the turkey cart, then the knights, then Cloud Connie almost poofs away]
Steven: (Gasps)
[Cloud Connie reforms]
Steven: (Sweating) Why didn't you disappear with everything else?
Connie: You told me not to do what you wanted.
Steven: Uh...RRRRNG- where is Connie?
Connie: (Distantly) Steven? Steven?
Steven: Connie? C-Connie, Is that you?
[Cloud Connie grabs Steven's hand]
Steven: (gasp) Please let me go, I want to find the real Connie!
Cloud Connie: You told me you wanted-
Steven: That doesn't matter! [Runs while panting, while Cloud Connie chases after] Please don't follow me, I don't want you to follow me!
[Pans to Cloud Connie not responding]
Steven: (Still gasping) Cart!
[Cart appears and Cloud Connie jumps over it]
Steven: AH, uh, WIND LIZARD!
[Wind Lizard appears]
Wind Lizard: (Screeching sounds)
[Steven climbs on Wind Lizard while Cloud Connie follows suit]
Steven: (Stammering) Connie can you hear me?
Connie: Steven? Steven?!
Steven: Connie, I'm almost there, just a little bit further! AH! [Cloud Connie pushes Steven off]
[Steven still stammers]
Cloud Connie: Rrrr.
Steven: Please, I don't want you, I want the REAL Connie!
[Falls on the cloud floor]
Cloud Connie: I know what you really want, I know how you REALLY feel! [Appears in wedding gown]
Connie: Steven? [Runs through clouds] Ah Steven finally, there you...are.
*Pans to Cloud Connie pinning down Steven*
Steven: (Stammering) Help!
[Connie runs to Cloud Connie and pushes her away]
Connie: AH!
Cloud Connie: (Grunting noises)
Connie: Keep away from him! [Slashes sword]
[Cloud Connie poofs away, but poofs back]
Cloud Connie: I know you like her!
[Connie lifts up sword to defend Steven]
Cloud Connie: And I know you want her to like you too.
Steven: No, don't listen! [Tears up]
[Connie slashes Cloud Connie causing her to poof away again]
[Cloud Connie poofs back on top of Steven]
Cloud Connie: That's why you can't tell her the truth, but you WANT to! You wanna tell her!
Steven: No!
[Connie runs toward them]
Connie: Get off of him!
Cloud Connie: Tell her Steven!
Steven: I- unggggh.....
Cloud Connie: Tell her!
Steven: Mmmmrng...- I liked the ending of the book!
[Connie stops]
Connie: What?
Steven: I-I thought it was sweet that Lisa and Archimicarus got together in the end! They were always so thoughtful towards each other, and I was so happy when they found the spell to make him human, and I loved every page about the cake, I wanted to draw a picture of it! I'm-I'm sorry I pretended not to like it, I just didn't want you to think less of me.
Cloud Connie: (sigh) That's better.
[Cloud Connie poofs away]
[Connie walks towards Steven]
Steven: Do-do you think I'm a bad person for liking the ending?
Connie: Of course not I...Steven it's just a book!
Steven: But, you really care about it!
Connie: I care about you more.
Steven: Even though I liked the wedding.
Connie: Oh, of course you liked the wedding...You're Steven, you love "Schmaltz".
[Connie helps Steven up]
[The gem door opens allowing Steven and Connie to exit]
Steven: You make a good point, but don't you remember how Archimicaras cried in book 3?
Connie: I thought that was because they lost the sword!
Steven: No, she almost fell into the volcano! He was worried about her!
Connie: But she had access to frost spells.
Steven: Yeah but Archimicarus didn't know that! Even birds can fall in love!
Connie: I guess you could read it that way!
*Pans to Steven's drawing of Lisa and Archimicarus, as Star iris closes in and fades to black.*
[End]