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This is a transcribed copy of Pilot. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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Speaker Dialogue
[Open Int. Steven's Room]
(Steven eating potato chips, staring at the Warp Pad for the Gems to return then, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl warp in)
Steven You're back!
Amethyst Hey, Steven, look at this! *pulls out a small Electric Skull which cackles*
Pearl Whoa! What are you, crazy?! *knocks the Electric Skull out of Amethyst's hand and steps on it*
Steven What the heck was that?
Pearl An Electric Skull. Our Crystal Palace was swarming with them. *sits down on couch*
Amethyst They were after this. *takes out The Hourglass from fanny-pack*
Steven *entranced* Can I see that?
Amethyst Yeah, sure. *Hourglass falls into Steven’s hand*
Pearl *interrupts* No! It's extremely powerful, we shouldn’t have even brought it home.
Steven Garnet, tell Pearl to let me see the thing- *Garnet puts finger to his lips*
Garnet Shh... *puts her finger on Steven's lip*
Steven Aw, man. I wanna come next time. I even wrote us a song. *takes out ukulele* It’s like “If you’re...” W-wait, hold on. *tunes ukulele, sings We Are The Crystal Gems*

If you're evil, and you're on the rise
You can count on the four of us taking you down
'Cause we're good and evil never beats us
We'll win the fight and then go out for pizzas

We... are the Crystal Gems!
We'll always save the day!
And if you think we can't,
We'll always find a way!
That's why the people of this world believe in
Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl and Steven!

All Gems *clapping*
Amethyst *chuckles* What’s with the part about pizzas?
Steven That’s just a best case scenario.
Pearl You wanna sing that during battle?
Steven Yeah.
Pearl Why?
Steven Because I’ll look really cool!
Pearl *laughing* You’ll look... like a clown!
(Pearl and Amethyst laugh.)
Garnet Hey! Don’t make fun of Steven.
Pearl Look Steven, you’re still too young to come with us. You don’t even have powers in your gem.
Steven But I wanna help!
Amethyst Why don’t you grab us some doughnuts? *gives him a wad of money and hints at it*
[Trans. Ext. Steven’s Room]
Steven *looks in hand and finds The Hourglass, gasps* The thing! *excitedly goes to Big Donut*
[Trans. Int. Big Donut- Steven, Lars and Sadie]
Lars and Sadie *Murmuring to each other*
Lars Well, if it isn’t Steven, of the “crystal femmes”.
Steven *sighs* Hey, Lars. *slams money on counter* Just give me three doughnuts.
Lars You want me to connect them with a hot dog?
Steven *gasps, looks at “dog-nut” ad* Oh, no, they’re not for me. It’s for Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl.
Lars *getting doughnuts* What are they anyways? Witches or ghosts or something?
Steven They’re Crystal Gems and they save the world, like all the time. And I’m a Crystal Gem too.
Lars Aren’t they all like, hot girls? You’re not exactly a hot girl, Steven.
(Steven grabs doughnuts and walks out)
Sadie Ugh, lay off!
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut- Steven]
Steven *grumpily to himself* “Not exactly a hot girl.” Well, if I was, I wouldn’t be talking to you. *gasps* Aw, I should have said that, that’s really funny! *Hourglass activates, whites out screen*
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
(Steven is suddenly back in the Big Donut, at the counter)
Lars -not exactly a hot girl, Steven.
Steven *confused gasps, stuttering* Well, if I was, I wouldn’t be talking to you! *triumphantly laughs*
Sadie *laughing* Steven, good one. *hi-fives*
Lars *frustrated in expression* You’re a joke! You know that right?! You’re a big joke!
Sadie Lay off! *Steven walks out again*
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut]
Steven The thing! Did it let me do that comeback to Lars? Ugh, what’s his problem? Calling me a joke. *pretending to talk to Lars* Must be tougher for you, Lars, at least people like jokes. Ah that’s what I should’ve-! *Hourglass activates, gasps happily*
[Trans. Int. Big Donut, back once more]
Lars *frustrated in expression* You’re a joke! You know that right?! You’re a big joke!
Steven *excited* It must be tougher for you, Lars. At least people like jokes! *laughs*
(Steven grabs doughnuts and runs out)
Sadie *laughing* Oh, Steven! You’re on fire!
[Trans. Int. Steven’s Room]
Garnet I just have a bad feeling.
(Steven enters as the Gems look at him.)
Steven I was at the Big Donut, and Lars was giving me trouble, and he was like “You’re a joke!” and then, the thing *reveals Hourglass* took me back in time, and I was like-
Pearl Wh-Why do you have that? *stares at Amethyst* Why did you give him that!?
Amethyst He wanted to see it! I was letting him see it!
Pearl *to Steven* We’ve been protecting that Hourglass for a thousand years. Now that it’s activated, it can only be used by you for its chosen purpose! What did you use it for?
Steven Comebacks...?
Amethyst *laughs*
Pearl Comebacks? You used it, for comebacks?!
Garnet *suddenly* Look outside! (All rush to window)
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut]
(Electric Skull wandering around outside, bringing thunder clouds, Gems and Steven approach)
Pearl We’ve led it right to us. Oh, Steven, it can see the holes you’ve ripped in the fabric of time!
Garnet Steven! Why are you such a butt face?
Steven *hurt* W-W-What?
Garnet Gems! Call your weapons!
(Gems summon their weapons and attack the ES (Electric Skull), Pearl is grabbed, and thrown, Amethyst attempts to save her w/ her whip but is thrown against the Big Donut sign and both it and her fall to the ground while Sadie and Lars watch)
Steven Pearl! Amethyst!
(Steven catches Amethyst, pushes Sadie and Lars out of the way and then crawls over to Pearl. Garnet punches the ES, pulling one of its hair tendrils out)
Steven Is this normal? Are we winning?
Garnet No, this is bad, Steven. Help!
Steven *tearing up* Ah, I can’t. I-I’m... *realization* "A butt face". *takes out Hourglass* “Why am I such "a butt face"? I know you are but what am- No, that’s not good enough! I-I can come up with a better line than that with my... butt closed. Oh, that doesn’t make any sense! Uh, butt face... Why am I- *shocked by lighting* Aah! Garnet!! Uh, butt face... I can’t help it... WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?!! *Hourglass activates*
(Garnet, previously)
Garnet Why are you such a butt face?
Steven *eyes closed* I can’t help it, what’s your excuse?
Garnet *gasps* You did it! What happened?
Steven *analyzing* Get back! *pushes Garnet, ES slams ground, throwing Steven up near Big Donut sign* Oh, oh, get up here! (The Gems jump up, behind sign) We can’t get close to it but we’ve got to take out its hair thingies! Everybody push!
(The Gems now push the sign.)
Steven Eat this!
(Sign falls on ES, pinning it and causing lightning to blast it, burn its hair and explode, clouds dissipate)
Steven *victory scream, to Lars and Sadie laughing* I saved you, I saved you! And you guys! I wish I could’ve told you this morning, that this “clown” was going to save your lives-! *Hourglass activates* No-no-no-no-no-no-no...! *repeatedly*
[Trans. Int. Steven’s Room]
Pearl *laughing* You’ll look... like a clown!
Steven NOOOO!!! *throws Hourglass to floor, breaking it into pieces*
Pearl What the-?
Amethyst It’s okay, Steven. You’re our clown.
Pearl Yes, a very hilarious clown.
Garnet Hey! Don’t make fun of Steven.
Steven Yeah! This clown is gonna save your lives.

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus