Speaker
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Dialogue
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[Open Lighthouse Hill]
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(Steven, riding atop Lion, overlooks Beach City from the top of the hill.)
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Steven
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Good old Beach City, but so much has changed lately.
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(Steven and Lion walk about the town. They pass by Beach Citywalk Fries, when Mayor Nanefua is informing the citizens about an evacuation route.)
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Steven
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I guess after all those abductions everything couldn't just return to normal.
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(Steven waves to Sadie, Buck, and Sour Cream as they pass by.)
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Steven
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With Sadie rocking out and Lars in space, I can't even enjoy my regular snack at the Big Donut. What am I gonna do for breakfast now?!
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(Steven leans onto Lion's head and groans gloomily. Lion stops and hurls Steven off his back onto the ground, when Steven hears a door chime nearby. He turns and sees two customers leaving the Big Donut with food in hand.)
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Steven
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Wait a minute. Big Donut is still open?
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(Steven enters the Big Donut and gasps in surprise.)
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Garnet
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*standing behind the counter, wearing a Big Donut uniform* Hello! Welcome to the Big Donut!
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Steven
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Garnet? *walks up to the counter* I have so many questions.
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Garnet
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Just one moment. You'll have to wait your turn.
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(Garnet skillfully fills a paper bag full of donuts and hands them to a customer, completing the transaction. She then turns to Steven.)
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Garnet
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Welcome to the Big Donut. Tell me how I may serve you.
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Steven
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I never thought I'd see you working here. Have we fallen on hard times?
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Garnet
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Oh, Steven. This isn't about making ends meet. This is about being random.
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Steven
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Are you serious?
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Garnet
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Oh, yes!
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Steven
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I... don't understand.
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(Garnet pours coffee into a cup, and then spills the coffee from the cup onto the counter.)
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Garnet
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*points at the streams of spilled coffee* My future vision allows me to see down the rivers of possibility, granting me insight into the possible realities our actions move us towards. But that doesn't mean I can predict everything. What I'm interested in are these extremely unlikely realities, so disconnected from the natural course of events that I can't detect them. *points at a pool of coffee, disconnected from the rest of the spill* When we act in unnatural ways, we create new, unforeseen paths, and arrive at these pools of improbability. *drags her finger through the spill, linking a stream with the pool*
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Steven
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Oh, so you want to do stuff you usually don't just to see what happens?
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Garnet
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*smiles and gives a thumbs-up* I didn't foresee you understanding that.
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Steven
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So, are we gonna clean up that coffee?
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Garnet
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That's what we'd normally do. Let's see what happens to the world when we don't.
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(Steven and Garnet watch a drop of coffee fall off the edge of the counter onto the floor.)
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Garnet
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We are now dwelling in a totally new pool of improbability. My future vision is useless here.
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Steven
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I'm scared... but intrigued.
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Garnet
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That's the spirit! Let's get even more intriguing! *somersaults over the counter* I quit! *enlarges her muscles, bursting apart her uniform* Come, Steven!
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(Steven and Garnet exit the Big Donut, leaving the remaining customers puzzled.)
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Steven
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So, what now?
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Garnet
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Hmm... Instead of selling food, let's order some.
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Steven
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Like what?
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Garnet
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Let's do... pizza.
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Steven
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Now you're talking my language! *pulls out his phone* Ordering now!
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(Steven calls Fish Stew Pizza, and Kiki answers the phone at the restaurant.)
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Kiki
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Fish Stew Pizza.
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Steven
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Uh, I want to order a pizza.
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Garnet
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10 pizzas!
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Steven
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No, 20 pizzas! Toppings? Um... *smiles at Garnet* Surprise me.
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Garnet
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*smiles and gives a thumbs-up* Now you're getting it!
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Steven
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I guess deliver it to the Temple. No... That's just what they'll be expecting. *squints suspiciously*
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Garnet
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Go weirder!
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Steven
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Deliver it to the ocean. No, no, no, to Kansas! No, to the moon!
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Kiki
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I don't think that's within our delivery radius.
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Garnet
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Remember. Improbable, not impossible.
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Steven
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Where's the last place they'd expect to deliver a pizza? Oh! Deliver it to... Fish Stew Pizza.
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Kiki
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So, like, this is for pick-up?
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[Trans. Beach City Boardwalks]
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(Steven and Garnet are walking along the boardwalk, each carrying several boxes of pizza.)
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Garnet
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Now think, Steven, about what you typically do when you obtain pizza.
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Steven
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Hmm... Eat it?
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Garnet
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In this timeline, we do the opposite of that. Hey, you! Have a pizza! *throws a pizza box at a passerby*
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Passerby
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*falls over catching the pizza and grunts* Hey, thanks!
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(Steven and Garnet give out pizza to various people, such as Peedee, Mr. Smiley, and a flock of seagulls.)
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[Trans. Near Onion's House]
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Garnet
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One more pizza to deliver.
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Steven
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Hey, Vidalia's house is around here. Let's bring her the last pie.
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Garnet
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Now, that would be nice. She must be upset that her son was taken into space by those Homeworld Gems.
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Steven
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You mean Onion? He isn't in space. He's right over there. *points*
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(Onion is seen sneaking behind them, with a large sack slung over his shoulder, and he jumps over a fence.)
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Garnet
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Sorry, I-I must be thinking of a different timeline.
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Steven
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O...kay... Well, I'm sure Vidalia would still like some pizza even if her kid is still on Earth. Let's go swing by.
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(Steven and Garnet arrive at the front door of Vidalia's house.)
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Garnet
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*knocks on the door* Mother Onion! Open up!
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Vidalia
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In the garage!
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Garnet
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*somersaults into the garage and poses* Get excited for pizza!
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Steven
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*rolls into Garnet and gets up* We got pepper flakes, and we're not afraid to use 'em!
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Vidalia
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*hides behind a painting* Ahh! Wait a minute. Steven? What are you guys doing here? Trying to scare me to death?
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Steven
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Oh, sorry. We were just trying to bring you a pizza in the most unlikely way possible. Want a slice?
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(Garnet opens the pizza box.)
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Vidalia
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Sure, I could use a break. I've been working on this still life of a step stool, but I just don't feel inspired.
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Garnet
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*closes the pizza box, hands it to Steven, poses on the step stool* Paint me like one of your Amethysts.
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Steven
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*poses alongside Garnet* Paint me, too!
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Vidalia
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So you wanna be my muse, eh?
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Steven
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If it's not too much trouble. *changes pose* I promise to be very inspiring.
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Vidalia
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Hmm... Yeah, I think this is just what I needed. *picks up a pencil* Strike a pose!
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(Steven and Garnet strike a new pose, with Garnet holding Steven in her hand.)
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Garnet
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It's struck.
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Vidalia
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Okay, don't move. I need to capture your essence.
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(Vidalia draws for a period of time, and Steven begins to get uncomfortable maintaining the pose.)
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Steven
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*sweating and groaning* Garnet? How long do you see me holding still?
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Garnet
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Who knows? The odds of us being here are so slim, I can't even-
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(A clanging noise is heard. Garnet turns and notices a one-eyed cat sifting through a fallen garbage can outside.)
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Steven
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Uhh, Garnet?
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Garnet
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Steven, look.
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(Steven notices the cat too, who runs away after seeing them.)
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Steven
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Ba-ba-b-b-baby kitten? Is it possible that we chase that sweet cat?
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Garnet
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It- it's up to you, Steven.
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Steven
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Yes?
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Garnet
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*starts sweating* Don't ask me. Tell me!
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Steven
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Mmm... Yes! Whoa!
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(Garnet tosses Steven onto her head and dashes out of the garage.)
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Vidalia
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Huh?
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Steven
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Sorry, Vidalia! Maybe next time!
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Vidalia
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But wait! Your essence!
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(Steven and Garnet catches up to the cat walking down the streets. It notices them and runs ahead, prompting the two to sprint after it.)
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[Trans. Near Water Tower]
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(Steven and Garnet chase the cat as it slips through a hole in some shrubs.)
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Steven
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That's one fast kitten. You think we can catch it?
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Garnet
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If we don't lose sight of it.
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(Steven and Garnet crawl after the cat through the shrubs. The cat, Steven and Garnet then arrive in a forest clearing, where the cat jumps into another bush. Steven and Garnet peek into the bush and see the cat, along with another four kittens of its size, meowing at the pair.)
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Steven
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Aww... There's more of them. Aww... And they have no food. Aww... And they have no one to take care of them! Garnet, we got to help these kittens.
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(Steven begins picking up the kittens and handing them to Garnet.)
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Steven
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Look at you! You're just babies. Who knows what would've happened to them if we didn't find them? Everything's gonna be just fine. We've got you. Here's the last one. Or- Wait.
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(Steven picks up the one-eyed cat.)
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Steven
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All right, I think we got to stop being random and figure out what we can do for these kittens. Garnet, can you use your future vision? What should we do next? ...Garnet?
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(Steven turns around and sees Garnet sweating anxiously, with the cat clinging all over her.)
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Garnet
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There's so many... cats. So many... possibilities.
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Steven
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It's too much, uh- Okay, can you focus on one? *holds up the one-eyed cat to Garnet* What's this one's future?
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Garnet
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I... I... I don't know! I don't know anything anymore!
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(Soft thunder noises are heard overhead as it begins to rain.)
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Steven
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Are you okay?
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Garnet
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Steven, lately, I've felt so lost.
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Steven
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Don't worry. I remember the way back to town.
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Garnet
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Oh, it's not just that. It's you. You've made so many decisions I didn't expect: giving yourself up to Homeworld, coming back through Lion's mane. The future that you created was so improbable that I didn't see it coming at all, and now I can't understand where this timeline is going. We're on the outskirts of the possible, following trickles to who knows where. Everyone's looking to me for answers. I can't stand it! It's so hard for me to just exist in the first place, Steven. I want to love being alive. I want to love that there are so many possibilities, but I'm the one with this ability, so I've got to be our guide. I thought, if I could use my future vision to jump into improbable futures, I could get out ahead of the next big, unexpected change, but I don't know what I'm doing here! I can't tell what's probable anymore! Anything could happen! Anything could happen to these cats!
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Steven
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That's true, but maybe instead of thinking of all the things that could happen, let's just pick the thing we want to happen and do that. *smiles and holds up the one-eyed cat* So, what do you want to happen next?
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Garnet
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I want... to get these cats out of the rain.
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Steven
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*summons his shield over the group* And then what?
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(Garnet smiles in reassurance.)
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[Trans Int. Vidalia's Garage]
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(Steven is speaking on the phone, Garnet is sitting by a box with the kittens, and Vidalia is standing nearby.)
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Steven
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Okay, sounds good. Thank you so much. *hangs up* Great news. The shelter has a foster program. They said they can pick up the cats tomorrow.
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Garnet
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Thank goodness.
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Vidalia
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Whew. Glad to hear it! *walks away*
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Steven
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*turns to the cats in the box* How are you little guys holding up? Anyone need to use the bathroom? Make a phone call? *lets a cat licks his finger, and giggles* You guys are gonna be just fine.
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Garnet
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*smiles* I think I get it.
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Steven
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Hmm?
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Garnet
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Why my future vision has been so off. I have to change the way I think about you.
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Steven
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What?
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Garnet
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I've been looking into probable futures where you act like a child. I keep expecting you to run from responsibility and to turn to me for help, but you don't do that anymore. Those futures aren't probable at all. There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision. I just need to factor in, that you've grown up. *hands Steven the cat that is in her lap*
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Steven
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*chuckles and puts the cat in the box* I guess I have, but it's only because I'm trying to be more like you. You always know what to do.
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Garnet
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Not always.
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(The one-eyed cat jumps off a table and Garnet catches it.)
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Garnet
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Okay, most of the time. *holds up the cat* I want to adopt this one. There's something about her.
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Steven
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Really? Is that a probable future?
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Garnet
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It is now. Besides, I've missed having someone cute and vulnerable to take care of. *strokes the cat* I think I'll call her "Steven."
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Steven
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Isn't that gonna get confusing?
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Garnet
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All right, then. Cat Steven.
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Steven
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Oh, my gosh! Wow! Oh, okay. This is the best!
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Vidalia
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*returns with a painting* What, you're adopting one?! Too bad I couldn't get her in your portrait! Which I managed to finish, by the way.
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Steven
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*gasps* Really?! What about our essence?
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Vidalia
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Well, I fudged it, but I think I got it.
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(Vidalia shows Steven and Garnet their portrait, and they gasp in delight.)
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[Trans. Int. Beach House]
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(Back home, Cat Steven is sleeping atop a sleeping Lion in Steven's room, and the portrait of Steven and Garnet is seen leaning against the bed, as the star iris closes in on it.)
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[END]
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