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This is a transcribed copy of "Prickly Pair". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Little Graduation" Next: "In Dreams"
Speaker Dialogue
(Steven stands at the door of the Conservatory. Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl walk up the stairs to meet him. Garnet and Amethyst are holding bags of dirt, and Pearl is holding a small bucket. Amethyst gives one of the bags to Steven.)
Amethyst We got your dirt, dude!
Steven Thanks, guys; come on in. *enters the building*
(The trio follow him inside and are greeted by a plethora of blossoming plants.)
All Wooow!
Amethyst How much magic spit did it take to grow all these plants?!
Steven *chuckles* I grew these the old-fashioned way.
Garnet So this is what you've been doing since you left Little Homeschool.
Steven Yeah, working at the school was great, but I dunno if it's my calling. Besides, watching the Off Colors graduate was so bittersweet.
Pearl Well I think this is a wonderful way to get into some much-needed 'you' time.
Steven 'Me' time? I'm hardly alone. *crouches to look at a blue flower* This lil' smartie is named Connie. *other plants are shown as he continues to name them* This onion's name is - Onion. And these perennials always come back. That one's Sadie, and the rest are her band. 'Daisy Clover and the Shrub-spects'. I named this one Lars. *baby-talk voice* You're stuck in da ground, aren't cha? Not gonna zip into space and leave evwy'one behind, isn't that right?
(Garnet and Pearl look on in concern, as Amethyst holds up a wad of dirt.)
Amethyst Uhhh, Steven? *eats the dirt ball in a single bite*
Garnet This may not be the healthiest approach to your new hobby.
Steven I'm just - havin' a lil' fun, that's all! B-but seriously, everything's going great.
Pearl In that case, we'll leave you to it!
Amethyst Have fun with your plants, dude.
(The three of them exit the building. Garnet peeks in again briefly.)
Garnet You should keep a close eye on your cactus.
(The door shuts. Steven turns around to look at a small, solitary cactus which sits atop a wooden table.)
Steven Huh...? *sighs* What am I doing? Is this really my thing now? *looks down at the cactus* Plants?
(He uses a small scalpel to remove the top of the cactus.)
Steven Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl aren't even impressed. Guess plants aren't as cool as liberating the galaxy...
(He sets the cactus aside and fills another pot with dirt. He looks to the cactus top in his hand.)
Steven Now! Have to give you a home. *pokes the cactus* Ah! Yowch...
(Steven puts his injured finger in his mouth to relieve the pain, and a close up of his mouth is shown. As he removes his finger, the spit on the end of it sparkles. He then picks up the cactus by two spines and places it in the pot.)
Steven There ya go. *brushes off his hands* That should do it. *stomach growls* Ooh- sounds like lunch time. I'll be back later to check on ya.
(He leaves the building. The cactus is shown in the foreground and a high, ominous tone plays. Cut to Steven returning to the greenhouse with a watering can.)
Cactus *growls happily*
Steven *gasps and throws aside the watering can* Ohmigosh! Did I bring my cactus to life?!
Cactus Woof, woof woof!
(Cut to the Crystal Gems in the Beach House taking a groupie. Steven enters the house.)
Steven Hey guys look what I made!
Amethyst I thought you weren't using spit on your plants?
Steven No, no I'm not! I guess I accidentally got some on this piece of cactus I was trying to plant, though.
Amethyst *squints suspiciously* A likely story.
Garnet That cactus really bounced back.
Pearl He's a survivor, just like you.
Amethyst Aww, and he's got a lumpy head like you! Let's call him, 'Cactus Steven.'
Steven Cactus Steven, huh? Call me conceited, but I like it!
Cactus Steven *coos*
Pearl Is he...okay?
Steven Oh...yeah, I think he just wants some sunlight. I think I could use some, too.
(Cut to the beach at sunset. Steven and Cactus Steven sit beside one another on the sand.)
Steven This beach- it never changes. I mean, a lot has changed. I'm trying to be cool about it, but it feels weird. Everyone's moving on, a-and I should be too, I gave up running a school but- now I don't know what comes next. Y'know?
Cactus Steven *looks up at him with a hard-to-read expression*
Steven It's probably better that I'm not running the school anymore. But who am I to decide what's best for all those Gem students? *gets up and takes some steps away* They're better off learning from Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl. I used to be helpful, but the Gems don't need me anymore. Agh! Why do I need to be needed? Steeeven, pull it together!
(Cactus Steven looks on sadly. Steven looks to Cactus Steven apologetically.)
Steven Awh, I'm so sorry to dump all of this on you.
Cactus Steven *whimpers*
Steven Aww, let's go home. *picks up Cactus Steven*
(Cut to Conservatory. Steven is watering his plants.)
Steven Goood morning Ronaldo! Good morning, Nanafua. And a special good morning- augh! *falls out of a flower bush* -to you, Cactus Steven! Woow, you've really sprouted up overnight!
(Cactus Steven's shape now more distinctly resembles that of Steven's head.)
Cactus Steven *grumbles* Good morning to you!
Steven Huh?! D-did you just speak?
Cactus Steven *raspy* Woow, you've really sprouted up overnight!
Steven Ahh, this is too much!
(Cut to the Gems on the couch engaged in various activities. Steven descends the stairs.)
Pearl Oh, hello Steven. Hello Cactus Steven.
Steven Hey Pearl. You have to see this!
Cactus Steven Hay Pearl!
Gems Whooa!
Amethyst That is sooo cute!
Garnet He's quite the talker.
Pearl And he said my name!
Steven I think he's learning to speak by copying me.
Cactus Steven Hi, Pearl!
Steven *laughs*
Cactus Steven Why should anyone lithen to me? I'm tryna be cool about it, but it feels so weird!
Steven Ohh my goshhh.
Amethyst Steven, your cactus seems really down on itself.
Cactus Steven Thsorry to dump this on you-
(Steven covers Cactus Steven's mouth then abruptly pulls his hand away.)
Steven Ouch!
Cactus Steven Steeeven, pull it togetherr!
Pearl Steven- are you okay?
(Steven rushes upstairs with the cactus.)
Cactus Steven Why do I need to be needed? Whyy do I need to be needed?!
(The Gems look at each other, worried. Cut to the Conservatory. Steven sets Cactus Steven on the table.)
Steven What was that? Why'd you say that stuff, huh?
Cactus Steven Why'd you say that stuff, huuh?!
Steven Because! I thought I could talk to you. I can't tell Pearl how I feel, 'cause she'll blame herself, and spiral outta control, and I'll have to pick up the pieces. And- I don't want any more 'high and mighty' advice from Garnet. I just want to know better for once. A-and I'm so sick of Amethyst acting like she's sooo mature now.
Cactus Steven She's sooo mature now!
Steven Pff, I know, it's like get over yourself. *gasps* Please don't repeat any of that.
Cactus Steven I thought I could talk to you!
(Steven places a box over Cactus' head.)
Cactus Steven *muffled* Why'd you say all that? Why'd!
Steven Oh you know why'd. *exits the conservatory and sighs* I can't let anybody find out about this.
Amethyst Find out about what?
Steven Th-th- nothing!
Amethyst Are you okay, Steven?
Steven Y-y-yeah! B-uhh, why do you ask?
Amethyst Uhmm, well, it just seems like you've been having a hard time since you left Homeschool, and uh...just figured I should check in.
Steven Yeah, no, I-I'm fine. That- I've just got some...some stuff on my mind. Nothin' a little green-thumbing won't fix.
Amethyst Okay, if you need any help, just, let us know, y'know?
Steven Yeah. I know...
Cut to nighttime. The door to the conservatory is shown with a piece of paper taped to it. It shows a drawing of Cactus Steven with a thermometer in his mouth and reads, "CACTUS STEVEN NEEDS REST! NO VISITORS, PLEASE!" Steven sits inside the conservatory.
Steven *sighs* Now the Gems are all worried about me.
Cactus Steven *muffled cries*
Steven *approaches the table* Hm?
(An ominous tone plays and Cactus Steven continues to cry. Steven goes to lift the box but Cactus Steven throws it aside before he can, yelling in frustration. Cactus Steven looks lumpier and more lopsided, and has sprouted a stubby right arm.)
Steven Yikes! Ohh no, Cactus Steven, you look so messed-up. What's wrong with you?
Cactus Steven What's wrong with you?!
Steven What's wrong is that you're making me look like a fool!
Cactus Steven *points at Steven* Fool!!
Steven I wish you wouldn't talk!
Cactus Steven I wish you wouldn't talk!!
(Steven begins to glow pink in anger.)
Steven Nnghh, STOP IT!!! *glow abruptly vanishes as Pearl calls from outside*
Pearl *offscreen* Steeven? Are you coming to dinner?
Steven *silently places C.S. on the table* Y-yeah! I'm coming!
(Cactus Steven's size increases as Steven leaves the room. Cut to Steven asleep. A crash causes him to wake up.)
Steven Huh-
(Cut to the conservatory. Part of the glass is broken and several plants lay in disarray.)
Steven Cactus Stevennn...?
(Steven follows a trail of needles into his bedroom. He hesitantly enters the room.)
Steven C'mon, cactus buddy...
(Cactus Steven growls and rises up from behind him underneath a blanket. As the blanket falls away it's revealed that he has grown to match Steven's height and only his foot remains in his pot.)
Cactus Steven Steevennn!
(Steven is startled and falls down the stairs onto the floor below. Cactus Steven follows suit and nearly crushes Steven.)
Steven Oof-! Cactus Steven, you need to get back to your home.
Cactus Steven You need to get back to your home!
Steven Wha- ah- this is my home! Just get out! *begins pushing C.S. away* Ahh! *shakes his hands in pain*
Cactus Steven Raah! *shakes his hands, shooting needles across the room*
Steven Ow, cut it out!
Cactus Steven *stops, approaches Steven* Just get out!
Steven Don't come any closer-! *generates his shield*
Cactus Steven Steeeven!!
Steven Stop!
(Steven thrusts C.S. away using his shield, slamming C.S. against the door of the house.)
Steven *gasps* Sorry!
(Cactus Steven stands, the shield now lodged in his shoulder. He dislodges it, leaving a large gash, and throws the shield back at Steven, hitting him squarely in the face. C.S. throws a plate off the nearby table, breaking it. He flips the table.)
Cactus Steven This is my home!
Steven He's going berserk!!
(The Gems walk ascend the steps to the porch outside.)
Steven *gasps* The Gems!
Cactus Steven The Gems don't need me anymore!
Steven Those are my real private thoughts! I can't let them hear this...
(Steven runs to the door to meet the Gems just before they can enter.)
Steven Hey guys, uhh, everything's great and totally normal but why don't you come back in uhh, let's say a couple hours for no reason whatsoever OKAY BYE! *slams the door and runs to fend off C.S.*
(The Gems barge in with their weapons at the ready.)
Pearl Steven! We'll help you.
Cactus Steven I can't tell Pearl how I feel, 'cause she'd blame herself!
Pearl What-?
Steven Uh ha, I have no idea why he's saying that.
Cactus Steven Just- get- out!!
(C.S. runs toward the Gems. Garnet punches him in one arm, causing it to go flying and hit the fridge. The arm grows tendrils and 'stands' upright.)
Amethyst Cool-
(She is hit in the face by C.S.'s leg, the pot shattering as she is hit, revealing his roots. Garnet delivers another punch to his stomach, sending him flying. He slams against the kitchen sink, breaking it and causing water to gush from the pipes. The arm launches itself at Pearl but she skewers it with her spear; the arm then puffs itself up and explodes, causing needles to fly out everywhere. Pearl yells in pain. The water from the broken sink is absorbed by C.S. and his body expands. He forms new limbs and faces all over his body, and growls. The Gems and Steven look on in horror.)
Cactus Steven The Gems don't need me! *pieces of the house fall as he stomps the ground* I thought I could talk to you.
Amethyst Be quiet! *lashes her whip around one of his legs, causing him to fall*
(C.S. breaks through a rafter as he falls. He growls and his roots extend to grab Amethyst.)
Cactus Steven Cut it out!! *slams her onto the ceiling*
(Garnet and Pearl run up to take him on; Pearl's spear gets stuck in C.S.'s side. C.S. tries to shake her off and attempts to punch her.)
Pearl Why is it so durable?!
Garnet The cactus is Earth's most resilient plant!
(Garnet lands a punch on his leg, causing him to release more spines.)
Pearl G-ge- Garnet!
(Her spear is dislodged and she falls to the floor. Amethyst scales the ceiling, her whip in her mouth.)
Garnet Give up! You can't win this fight!
Cactus Steven I can't hear any more 'high and mighty' advice from Garnet!
Garnet Uh- *gets punched away*
Amethyst Sneak attack! *drops from the ceiling*
Cactus Steven I'm so sick of Amethyst acting like she's sooo mature now!
Amethyst Why's it being so- weirdly specific?
(Amethyst is smashed between C.S.'s halves and falls to the floor. The three Gems are thrown to the wall with a swipe of C.S.'s hand.)
All Aauuh!
Steven He's repeating me! He's repeating everything I said to him. *gasps* He's copying me. Th-that's it! Guys, stand back, I've got an idea! Cactus Steven, get a load of this! *drops his shield; it rolls away and disappears*
Steven I'm sorry I mistreated you. I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone- you're just learning from the only role model you've got: me! I should've given you more of the love and kindness that you deserve. So...who wants a hug?
Cactus Steven Huh?
Steven *hugs C.S.'s leg*
Cactus Steven *grunts, then leans down to hug Steven*
Amethyst *pointing* Look!
(Pink flowers bloom all over C.S.'s body.)
Cactus Steven I'm sorry. *steps back*
Steven *teary-eyed, covered in spikes* Ohhhkay... C'mon, big guy. Why don't I take you back to the dome?
Cactus Steven No!
Steven W-wait! Where are you going? Please don't leave, I-I'll fix up the dome extra nice for you!
(C.S. picks a flower off his own back and offers it to Steven. Steven takes it. C.S. bursts out of the front of the house.)
Amethyst Hey- dude?
Pearl Is there anything you need to talk about...?
Steven ...I think I've said enough.

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus