Prickly Pair/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of Prickly Pair. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Little Graduation"

Next: "In Dreams"

Speaker	Dialogue
(Steven stands at the door of the Conservatory. Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl walk up the stairs to meet him. Garnet and Amethyst are holding bags of dirt, and Pearl is holding a small bucket. Amethyst gives one of the bags to Steven.)
Amethyst	We got your dirt, dude!
Steven	Thanks, guys; come on in. *enters the building*
(The trio follow him inside and are greeted by a plethora of blossoming plants.)
All	Wooow!
Amethyst	How much magic spit did it take to grow all these plants?!
Steven	*chuckles* I grew these the old-fashioned way.
Garnet	So this is what you've been doing since you left Little Homeschool.
Steven	Yeah, working at the school was great, but I dunno if it's my calling. Besides, watching the Off Colors graduate was so bittersweet.
Pearl	Well I think this is a wonderful way to get into some much-needed 'you' time.
Steven	'Me' time? I'm hardly alone. *crouches to look at a blue flower* This lil' smartie is named Connie. *other plants are shown as he continues to name them* This onion's name is - Onion. And these perennials always come back. That one's Sadie, and the rest are her band. 'Daisy Clover and the Shrub-spects'. I named this one Lars. *baby-talk voice* You're stuck in da ground, aren't cha? Not gonna zip into space and leave evwy'one behind, isn't that right?
(Garnet and Pearl look on in concern, as Amethyst holds up a wad of dirt.)
Amethyst	Uhhh, Steven? *eats the dirt ball in a single bite*
Garnet	This may not be the healthiest approach to your new hobby.
Steven	I'm just - havin' a lil' fun, that's all! B-but seriously, everything's going great.
Pearl	In that case, we'll leave you to it!
Amethyst	Have fun with your plants, dude.
(The three of them exit the building. Garnet peeks in again briefly.)
Garnet	You should keep a close eye on your cactus.
(The door shuts. Steven turns around to look at a small, solitary cactus which sits atop a wooden table.)
Steven	Huh...? *sighs* What am I doing? Is this really my thing now? *looks down at the cactus* Plants?
(He uses a small scalpel to remove the top of the cactus.)
Steven	Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl aren't even impressed. Guess plants aren't as cool as liberating the galaxy...
(He sets the cactus aside and fills another pot with dirt. He looks to the cactus top in his hand.)
Steven	Now! Have to give you a home. *pokes the cactus* Ah! Yowch...
(Steven puts his injured finger in his mouth to relieve the pain, and a close up of his mouth is shown. As he removes his finger, the spit on the end of it sparkles. He then picks up the cactus by two spines and places it in the pot.)
Steven	There ya go. *brushes off his hands* That should do it. *stomach growls* Ooh- sounds like lunch time. I'll be back later to check on ya.
(He leaves the building. The cactus is shown in the foreground and a high, ominous tone plays. Cut to Steven returning to the greenhouse with a watering can.)
Cactus	*growls happily*
Steven	*gasps and throws aside the watering can* Ohmigosh! Did I bring my cactus to life?!
Cactus	Woof, woof woof!
(Cut to the Crystal Gems in the Beach House taking a groupie. Steven enters the house.)
Steven	Hey guys look what I made!
Amethyst	I thought you weren't using spit on your plants?
Steven	No, no I'm not! I guess I accidentally got some on this piece of cactus I was trying to plant, though.
Amethyst	*squints suspiciously* A likely story.
Garnet	That cactus really bounced back.
Pearl	He's a survivor, just like you.
Amethyst	Aww, and he's got a lumpy head like you! Let's call him, 'Cactus Steven.'
Steven	Cactus Steven, huh? Call me conceited, but I like it!
Cactus Steven	*coos*
Pearl	Is he...okay?
Steven	Oh...yeah, I think he just wants some sunlight. I think I could use some, too.
(Cut to the beach at sunset. Steven and Cactus Steven sit beside one another on the sand.)
Steven	This beach- it never changes. I mean, a lot has changed. I'm trying to be cool about it, but it feels weird. Everyone's moving on, a-and I should be too, I gave up running a school but- now I don't know what comes next. Y'know?
Cactus Steven	*looks up at him with a hard-to-read expression*
Steven	It's probably better that I'm not running the school anymore. But who am I to decide what's best for all those Gem students? *gets up and takes some steps away* They're better off learning from Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl. I used to be helpful, but the Gems don't need me anymore. Agh! Why do I need to be needed? Steeeven, pull it together!
(Cactus Steven looks on sadly. Steven looks to Cactus Steven apologetically.)
Steven	Awh, I'm so sorry to dump all of this on you.
Cactus Steven	*whimpers*
Steven	Aww, let's go home. *picks up Cactus Steven*
(Cut to Conservatory. Steven is watering his plants.)
Steven	Goood morning Ronaldo! Good morning, Nanafua. And a special good morning- augh! *falls out of a flower bush* -to you, Cactus Steven! Woow, you've really sprouted up overnight!
(Cactus Steven's shape now more distinctly resembles that of Steven's head.)
Cactus Steven	*grumbles* Good morning to you!
Steven	Huh?! D-did you just speak?
Cactus Steven	*raspy* Woow, you've really sprouted up overnight!
Steven	Ahh, this is too much!
(Cut to the Gems on the couch engaged in various activities. Steven descends the stairs.)
Pearl	Oh, hello Steven. Hello Cactus Steven.
Steven	Hey Pearl. You have to see this!
Cactus Steven	Hay Pearl!
Gems	Whooa!
Amethyst	That is sooo cute!
Garnet	He's quite the talker.
Pearl	And he said my name!
Steven	I think he's learning to speak by copying me.
Cactus Steven	Hi, Pearl!
Steven	*laughs*
Cactus Steven	Why should anyone lithen to me? I'm tryna be cool about it, but I feel so weird!
Steven	Ohh my goshhh.
Amethyst	Steven, your cactus seems really down on itself.
Cactus Steven	Thsorry to dump this on you-
(Steven covers Cactus Steven's mouth then abruptly pulls his hand away.)
Steven	Ouch!
Cactus Steven	Steeeven, bring it togetherr!
Pearl	Steven- are you okay?
(Steven rushes upstairs with the cactus.)
Cactus Steven	Why do I need to be needed? Whyy do I need to be needed?!
(The Gems look at each other, worried. Cut to the Conservatory. Steven sets Cactus Steven on the table.)
Steven	What was that? Why'd you say that stuff, huh?
Cactus Steven	Why'd you say that stuff, huuh?!
Steven	Because! I thought I could talk to you. I can't tell Pearl how I feel, 'cause she'll blame herself, and spiral outta control, and I'll have to pick up the pieces. And- I don't want any more 'high and mighty' advice from Garnet. I just want to know better for once. A-and I'm so sick of Amethyst acting like she's sooo mature now.
Cactus Steven	She's sooo mature now!
Steven	Pff, I know, it's like get over yourself. *gasps* Please don't repeat any of that.
Cactus Steven	I thought I could talk to you!
(Steven places a box over Cactus' head.)
Cactus Steven	*muffled* Why'd you say all that? Why'd!
Steven	Oh you know why'd. *exits the conservatory and sighs* I can't let anybody find out about this.
Amethyst	Find out about what?
Steven	Th-th- nothing!
Amethyst	Are you okay, Steven?
Steven	Y-y-yeah! B-uhh, why do you ask?
Amethyst	Uhmm, well, it just seems like you've been having a hard time since you left Homeschool, and uh...just figured I should check in.
Steven	Yeah, no, I-I'm fine. That- I've just got some...some stuff on my mind. Nothin' a little green-thumbing won't fix.
Amethyst	Okay, if you need any help, just, let us know, y'know?
Steven	Yeah. I know...
Cut to nighttime. The door to the conservatory is shown with a piece of paper taped to it. It shows a drawing of Cactus Steven with a thermometer in his mouth and reads, "CACTUS STEVEN NEEDS REST! NO VISITORS, PLEASE!" Steven sits inside the conservatory.
Steven	*sighs* Now the Gems are all worried about me.
Cactus Steven	*muffled cries*
Steven	*approaches the table* Hm?
(An ominous tone plays and Cactus Steven continues to cry. Steven goes to lift the box but Cactus Steven throws it aside before he can, yelling in frustration. Cactus Steven looks lumpier and more lopsided, and has sprouted a stubby right arm.)
Steven	Yikes! Ohh no, Cactus Steven, you look so messed-up. What's wrong with you?
Cactus Steven	What's wrong with you?!
Steven	What's wrong is that you're making me look like a fool!
Cactus Steven	*points at Steven* Fool!!
Steven	I wish you wouldn't talk!
Cactus Steven	I wish you wouldn't talk!!
(Steven begins to glow pink in anger.)
Steven	Nnghh, STOP IT!!! *glow abruptly vanishes as Pearl calls from outside*
Pearl	*offscreen* Steeven? Are you coming to dinner?
Steven	*silently places C.S. on the table* Y-yeah! I'm coming!
(Cactus Steven's size increases as Steven leaves the room. Cut to Steven asleep. A crash causes him to wake up.)
Steven	Huh-
(Cut to the conservatory. Part of the glass is broken and several plants lay in disarray.)
Steven	Cactus Stevennn...?
(Steven follows a trail of needles into his bedroom. He hesitantly enters the room.)
Steven	C'mon, cactus buddy...
(Cactus Steven growls and rises up from behind him underneath a blanket. As the blanket falls away it's revealed that he has grown to match Steven's height and only his foot remains in his pot.)
Cactus Steven	Steevennn!
(Steven is startled and falls down the stairs onto the floor below. Cactus Steven follows suit and nearly crushes Steven.)
Steven	Oof-! Cactus Steven, you need to get back to your home.
Cactus Steven	You need to get back to your home!
Steven	Wha- ah- this is my home! Just get out! *begins pushing C.S. away* Ahh! *shakes his hands in pain*
Cactus Steven	Raah! *shakes his hands, shooting needles across the room*
Steven	Ow, cut it out!
Cactus Steven	*stops, approaches Steven* Just get out!
Steven	Don't come any closer-! *generates his shield*
Cactus Steven	Steeeven!!
Steven	Stop!
(Steven thrusts C.S. away using his shield, slamming C.S. against the door of the house.)
Steven	*gasps* Sorry!
(Cactus Steven stands, the shield now lodged in his shoulder. He dislodges it, leaving a large gash, and throws the shield back at Steven, hitting him squarely in the face. C.S. throws a plate off the nearby table, breaking it. He flips the table.)
Cactus Steven	This is my home!
Steven	He's going berserk!!
(The Gems walk ascend the steps to the porch outside.)
Steven	*gasps* The Gems!
Cactus Steven	The Gems don't need me anymore!
Steven	Those are my real private thoughts! I can't let them hear this...
(Steven runs to the door to meet the Gems just before they can enter.)
Steven	Hey guys, uhh, everything's great and totally normal but why don't you come back in uhh, let's say a couple hours for no reason whatsoever OKAY BYE! *slams the door and runs to fend off C.S.*
(The Gems barge in with their weapons at the ready.)
Pearl	Steven! We'll help you.
Cactus Steven	I can't tell Pearl how I feel, 'cause she'd blame herself!
Pearl	What-?
Steven	Uh ha, I have no idea why he's saying that.
Cactus Steven	Just- get- out!!
(C.S. runs toward the Gems. Garnet punches him in one arm, causing it to go flying and hit the fridge. The arm grows tendrils and 'stands' upright.)
Amethyst	Cool-
(She is hit in the face by C.S.'s leg, the pot shattering as she is hit, revealing his roots. Garnet delivers another punch to his stomach, sending him flying. He slams against the kitchen sink, breaking it and causing water to gush from the pipes. The arm launches itself at Pearl but she skewers it with her spear; the arm then puffs itself up and explodes, causing needles to fly out everywhere. Pearl yells in pain. The water from the broken sink is absorbed by C.S. and his body expands. He forms new limbs and faces all over his body, and growls. The Gems and Steven look on in horror.)
Cactus Steven	The Gems don't need me! *pieces of the house fall as he stomps the ground* I thought I could talk to you.
Amethyst	Be quiet! *lashes her whip around one of his legs, causing him to fall*
(C.S. breaks through a rafter as he falls. He growls and his roots extend to grab Amethyst.)
Cactus Steven	Cut it out!! *slams her onto the ceiling*
(Garnet and Pearl run up to take him on; Pearl's spear gets stuck in C.S.'s side. C.S. tries to shake her off and attempts to punch her.)
Pearl	Why is it so durable?!
Garnet	The cactus is Earth's most resilient plant!
(Garnet lands a punch on his leg, causing him to release more spines.)
Pearl	G-ge- Garnet!
(Her spear is dislodged and she falls to the floor. Amethyst scales the ceiling, her whip in her mouth.)
Garnet	Give up! You can't win this fight!
Cactus Steven	I can't hear any more 'high and mighty' advice from Garnet!
Garnet	Uh- *gets punched away*
Amethyst	Sneak attack! *drops from the ceiling*
Cactus Steven	I'm so sick of Amethyst acting like she's sooo mature now!
Amethyst	Why's it being so- weirdly specific?
(Amethyst is smashed between C.S.'s halves and falls to the floor. The three Gems are thrown to the wall with a swipe of C.S.'s hand.)
All	Aauuh!
Steven	He's repeating me! He's repeating everything I said to him. *gasps* He's copying me. Th-that's it! Guys, stand back, I've got an idea! Cactus Steven, get a load of this! *drops his shield; it rolls away and disappears*
Steven	I'm sorry I mistreated you. I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone- you're just learning from the only role model you've got: me! I should've given you more of the love and kindness that you deserve. So...who wants a hug?
Cactus Steven	Huh?
Steven	*hugs C.S.'s leg*
Cactus Steven	*grunts, then leans down to hug Steven*
Amethyst	*pointing* Look!
(Pink flowers bloom all over C.S.'s body.)
Cactus Steven	I'm sorry. *steps back*
Steven	*teary-eyed, covered in spikes* Ohhhkay... C'mon, big guy. Why don't I take you back to the dome?
Cactus Steven	No!
Steven	W-wait! Where are you going? Please don't leave, I-I'll fix up the dome extra nice for you!
(C.S. picks a flower off his own back and offers it to Steven. Steven takes it. C.S. bursts out of the front of the house.)
Amethyst	Hey- dude?
Pearl	Is there anything you need to talk about...?
Steven	...I think I've said enough.
[END]