Speaker
|
Dialogue
|
[Open Beach Citywalk Fries]
|
(Steven walks up to the shop, silently slamming his fists on the counter, as an unamused Peedee watches.)
|
Steven
|
Give...! me...! the...!
|
Peedee
|
Just hurry up and say it, Steven.
|
Steven
|
Mm, Actually... what else you got?
|
Peedee
|
You could order actual fries.
|
Steven
|
Nah! Let's really try and shake things up today. I want to order "off-menu". *makes air quotes*
|
Peedee
|
*sighs* You always order off-menu, Steven. Let me see what I can find. I'll be back in a sec. *walks off inside the shop*
|
Steven
|
I really appreciate it!
|
[Time-Skip]
|
(Peedee returns enthusiastically back to Steven.)
|
Peedee
|
Steven! Check this out! Boom!
|
(Peedee puts a tray of mozzarella sticks on the counter.)
|
Steven
|
Mozzarella sticks!? *picks up the tray* With all the fixin's?!
|
Peedee
|
I can't believe it either! They were way back in the freezer for some reason. Feels good to fry something else for a change.
|
Steven
|
Thanks, Peedee!
|
(Steven walks down the boardwalk and begins taking a bite out of one of the mozzarella sticks. He passes by Fish Stew Pizza, when Kofi Pizza suddenly bursts out of the door.)
|
Kofi
|
STEVEN! *rushes in front of Steven* What is this!?
|
Steven
|
*mouth full of cheese* Um...
|
Kofi
|
Bread... Cheese... Marinara sauce!? The basic elements of a pizza! Where did it come from?
|
(Steven points to Beach Citywalk Fries.)
|
Kofi
|
Fryman... infringing on my business?! I have been ready for this day!
|
(Kofi walks back into Fish Stew Pizza and puts up a new sign, that says "Now serving fries".)
|
Steven
|
"Now serving... fries"?!
|
(Mr Fryman then suddenly appears from behind Steven.)
|
Mr. Fryman
|
So... it begins anew. Eh, Kofi?
|
Kofi
|
Just like old times, Fryman.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
KOFIIIII!
|
Kofi
|
FRYMAAAAANN!
|
Kofi & Mr. Fryman
|
RES-TAU-RANT WAAAAAAAR!!!!!!
|
(Steven watches in confusion, as the two shouts at each other.)
|
[Title Card - Restaurant War: First Strike]
|
[Trans. Beach City Boardwalk]
|
(Some time passes, the boardwalk is seen littered with fries, ketchup, pizza slices and pizza crusts. Several people are also seen outside the two restaurants, murmuring with nausea and discomfort. Steven comes walking in, passing by a shirt shop as a store employee hides in fear and nearly stepping on a person lying face-down on the ground.)
|
Fallen Person
|
Too many carbs...
|
(Steven cautiously steps over the fallen person and spots a pizza mascot slouching and standing outside Beach Citywalk Fries.)
|
Steven
|
Peedee?
|
(A saddened Peedee, wearing the pizza costume, turns to Steven.)
|
Peedee
|
Don't look at me, Steven. *turns away*
|
Steven
|
But... *reaches his hand out to Peedee*
|
Peedee
|
I SAID, DON'T LOOK AT ME!
|
Steven
|
W-What happened?
|
Peedee
|
I violated the food treaty.
|
Steven
|
What do you mean?
|
Peedee
|
Years ago, my dad and Kofi signed an agreement to not steal each other's business.
|
(A imaginative scene of a treaty is shown being signed, with Mr. Fryman and Kofi shaking hands.)
|
Peedee
|
But when I fried up those mozzarella sticks, I re-ignited the hot oil of war.
|
(The imaginative scene turns into walls of flames, as Peedee sighs and puts his hand over his face.)
|
Steven
|
*sighs* Don't blame yourself. I was the one who wanted to "shake things up".
|
Peedee
|
Oh, yeah. It's your fault.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
*pops out of the counter* Hey, Steven! As a valued customer, I want to know your thoughts on a new menu item. Deep-fried pizza! *holds a plate of a deep-fried pizza*
|
Steven
|
A-Actually, could I just get some fries?
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Sorry, we're all out of fries.
|
Steven
|
What?! Even the bits?
|
Mr. Fryman
|
We have pizza bits now. *holding a tray of pizza bits*
|
Steven
|
But how can you guys be out of fries? This is the fry shop! You're Fryman! Look at your hair.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
...What about my hair?
|
(Steven sweats in awkwardness, when he hears Ronaldo groaning from the back of the shop.)
|
Ronaldo
|
I can't connect to Fish Stew Pizza's wifi.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Hey, you got no time for interneting. You're doing deliveries now.
|
(Mr. Fryman takes Ronaldo's laptop and gives him a bag of food to deliver.)
|
Ronaldo
|
But I don't even have a car!
|
Mr. Fryman
|
You got those wheelie shoes, don't ya?
|
Ronaldo
|
Yeah...
|
(Ronaldo turns on the wheels at the bottom of his sneakers and skates out of the shop sadly. Steven, looking guilty, walks away and heads into Fish Stew Pizza, where Kiki is taking orders and Jenny is the cashier.)
|
Steven
|
Jenny, you're working the counter?
|
Jenny
|
I know right?! Things have been crazy since the war has been back on! The phones have been ringing off the hook.
|
Kiki
|
I'll get it! *picks up the phone off-screen* Thanks for calling Fish Stew Pizza. We do fries now.
|
Jenny
|
Anyway, I'm obligated to tell you about our special new menu item. *takes out a pen and notepad* French-fried pizza with French-fried crust and twice-baked French fries on the side. *sighs* 'Cause we do fries now.
|
Steven
|
I'd just rather have my usual-
|
Kofi
|
*pops in and shouts behind Jenny* Steven!
|
Steven
|
Oh. hey, Kofi.
|
Kofi
|
Before you place your order, you must sign... these papers... *grunts and places out a stack of papers on the counter* And pledge your allegiance to Fish Stew Pizza! Not only that, you'll be issued a brand-new, permanent, V.I.P. pizza-eater card!
|
(Kofi pulls out a branding iron, reading "VIP" on it, and Steven runs out of Fish Stew Pizza screaming in fear.)
|
Kofi
|
Steven! Come back!
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Hey, Steven! *running towards Steven* Y-You forgot your pizza bits!
|
Steven
|
Wha-? Aah!
|
Kofi
|
Steven! *wielding the branding iron* Let me reward you for being such a good customer!
|
Steven
|
*yells and runs away* AAAHH! What have I done?!
|
[Title Card - Restaurant War: Hearts & Mind]
|
[Trans. Int. Beach House, Night-time]
|
(Steven gathers Ronaldo, Kiki, Jenny and Peedee in his house.)
|
Steven
|
Thank you all for coming. Ronaldo... Kiki... Jenny... and Peedee, I've called you all here tonight because... *slams his hands on the living room table* This war between your parents has to stop!
|
Jenny
|
Steven, how do you think we feel!? Do you know how many metal concerts I've missed because of this war?
|
Kiki
|
How many?
|
Jenny
|
Mm, like... one?
|
Ronaldo
|
Do you know how much blogging I haven't been able to do?! *slams his hands on the table too*
|
Steven
|
I don't, but this is all my fault. If only my taste buds weren't so adventurous. I promise to find a way to work this out.
|
Peedee
|
How? There's no end in sight to all this fighting.
|
Steven
|
Hmm... We need to stop this hate with some sort of... opposite of hate. *gasps* Ronaldo!
|
Ronaldo
|
Hmm?
|
Steven
|
Kiki!
|
Kiki
|
Hmm?
|
Steven
|
You're sitting next to each other.
|
Kiki
|
Where are you going with this, Steven?
|
Steven
|
You guys should pretend to be in love! There won't be any time for fighting if your families have to plan a wedding together.
|
Kiki
|
Well... I guess we could try? Anything to get this war over with.
|
Steven
|
All right! We'll fight this war with the power of love!
|
Ronaldo
|
No way! We can't do this because I... have a girlfriend.
|
(Everyone stare intently at Ronaldo.)
|
Jenny
|
Where's she at, though?
|
Peedee
|
You said what I was thinking.
|
Steven
|
Okay, you don't have to pretend to get married. Just pretend to be in love long enough to get this feud over with.
|
Ronaldo
|
I... got a bad feeling about this!
|
Jenny
|
Shut up, Ronaldo! Nothing bad is going to happen. *pulls Kiki in for a hug* And you'll get to spend time with the cutest girl in Beach City.
|
(Jenny blows a raspberry on Kiki's cheek as Kiki giggles.)
|
[Trans. BC Boardwalk, The Next Day]
|
(Ronaldo and Kiki begin setting Steven's plan in motion.)
|
Ronaldo
|
*holding a banquet of flowers dramatically* Ah, Kiki, my darling.
|
Kiki
|
Oh, Ronaldo, my sweet. *holding the same type of banquet behind her back*
|
Ronaldo
|
*runs towards Kiki* My dear, sweet Kiki, who I love with all my blog.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
*sticks head out of the fry shop window* What the...
|
Kiki
|
*giggles* Oh, Ronaldo, you're so sweet and quirky in a way I can tolerate.
|
Kofi
|
*runs out of the pizzeria door* Kiki, why aren't you in here, working your shift?!
|
(Both Mr. Fryman and Kofi approach Ronaldo and Kiki.)
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Yeah, come on, Ronaldo. We got customers to take care of.
|
Ronaldo
|
But Dad, ever since this war started, I've had to spend countless hours away from my beloved Kiki.
|
Kofi & Mr. Fryman
|
What?!
|
Kiki
|
It's true. The only way for us to be together is if we quit working!
|
Steven
|
*from a distance* Are you telling me that you two are involved in a romantic relationship?!
|
Ronaldo
|
That's right, Steven. We have been for some time now.
|
Kofi
|
*stares at Ronaldo intensively* Mm-hmmm! You two are only hugging, right?
|
Ronaldo
|
Uh, yes, sir! Just hugs and longing looks. *chuckles nervously*
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Well, Kofi, love is a beautiful thing.
|
Kofi
|
Yes, love is beautiful. We must end this feud in order for this love to blossom.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Yeah! The restaurant war is officially over!
|
(Mr. Fryman and Kofi are about to shake hands as the hopeful Peedee, Jenny and Steven watch, when another girl appears with tears in her eyes.)
|
Jane
|
Ronaldo? I come all this way to return your "Koala Princess" DVDs, only to find you with another girl?
|
Jenny & Peedee
|
*slide in and holds their cheek in surprise* Whaaaaat?!
|
Ronaldo
|
Jane, my sweet, this was all just a trick to get my dad to stop selling mozzarella sticks!
|
Jane
|
Save it for your blog: Keep Beach City Single! *runs away crying*
|
Ronaldo
|
Jane, my Ohime-sama- Oof!
|
(Ronaldo tries to skate after Jane with his wheelie sneakers, but trips and falls flat on his face. Mr. Fryman and Kofi cross their arms and look away from each other in fury.)
|
Kofi
|
The deal is off!
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Guh! Fine by me! *starts walking away* Peedee, fire up those fryers!
|
Kofi
|
*runs off* Kiki, pick up the phone!
|
(Everyone else sighs.)
|
Ronaldo
|
*still on the ground, whimpers and reaches his hand out* Ja-a-a-ane...
|
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
|
(Steven, the Pizza kids and the Fryman kids gather back in Steven's house. A heartbroken Ronaldo walks around while texting on his phone while the others mope in the living room.)
|
Jenny
|
Ugh, what are we gonna do?!
|
Steven
|
Hmm... Peedee said the last time the war ended because your dad and his dad came together to sign a treaty. How did that happen?
|
Kiki
|
Well, you know where Suitcase Sam's is? It used to be a restaurant called "The Everything Buffet".
|
Jenny
|
Oh, yeah! They sold everything!
|
Kiki
|
But it wrecked the boardwalk's economy! Not one store could compete. But just when everyone thought all hope was lost, our dad and Mr. Fryman teamed up and ran them out of town.
|
Steven
|
Hmm. Another restaurant eh? I think I have a plan.
|
[Title Card - Restaurant War: Operation: Let's Get Cooking]
|
[Trans. Ext. Beach House, Night-time]
|
(The Pizza family and the Fryman family are waiting outside of Steven's house, which has been rebranded as a cardboard sign reading "Steven's". Steven, wearing a waiter uniform, opens the door and steps out.)
|
Steven
|
Welcome to the Grand opening of Steven's. Right this way.
|
(Steven leads the two families into the house, redecorated into a restaurant with star-shaped light bulbs and candle-lit tables, when Garnet watches on in the kitchen. Mr. Fryman removes his cap as a sign of respect and manners.)
|
Peedee
|
Hmm. Nice ambiance.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Ahem! *crosses his hands* It's all right.
|
Kofi
|
There are not enough tables!
|
Kiki
|
There are just enough tables, daddy.
|
(The Frymans take their seats at the closest table, while the Pizzas take their seats at the only other table in the room. Mr. Fryman and Kofi glare at each other when Pearl, dressed up as a waiter too, approaches the Frymans.)
|
Pearl
|
Hello, gentlemen. May I take your order?
|
Ronaldo
|
I'm full... of sadness! *slams his head down on the table and begins sobbing uncontrollably*
|
Mr. Fryman
|
I will have the Fantastic Fries.
|
Pearl
|
Order taken. *writes on her notepad and walks to the Pizzas' table*
|
Mr. Fryman
|
*whispers to Peedee* I bet they're not as fantastic as ours.
|
Pearl
|
And for you?
|
Kofi
|
I will have the Pizza Bagel! (Pearl walks away.) I doubt a pizza bagel can beat pizza that isn't on a bagel. *chuckles*
|
(Pearl hands Steven the orders.)
|
Steven
|
Ah, let's see. Wonderful, two of our best dishes!
|
Pearl
|
Our only dishes?
|
Steven
|
Amethyst, order up! Fire one fry and one pizza! *claps twice*
|
Amethyst
|
Yes, chef! *claps back twice*
|
(Steven and Amethyst begin preparing the meals together.)
|
Pearl
|
*sets a plate of pizza bagels in front of Kofi* Here's your order, sir.
|
Kofi
|
Heh, pizza on a bagel, indeed!
|
Pearl
|
*sets a plate of neatly-arranged fries in front of Mr. Fryman* And for you, sir.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Uh, can I get some ketchup?
|
Pearl
|
Sorry, no additions or substitutions.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Ha! This place is all talk! You can't have fries without ketchup. *eats a fry and is suddenly stricken with disbelief* The ketchup... is inside the fries!?
|
(Steven smirks, realizing that he has bested Fryman. Kofi drops his pizza bagel in disbelief too, after taking a bite into it.)
|
Kofi
|
There's cream cheese in this pizza bagel. It adds a whole other level of flavor! And with pizza on a bagel, you can eat pizza any time!
|
Mr. Fryman
|
It's amazing!
|
Kofi
|
It's genius!
|
(Mr. Fryman and Kofi look at each other and nod in agreement. The two then angrily approach Steven.)
|
Steven
|
Ah, gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed your meal. Is there something I can help you with?
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Steven! *cracks his knuckles* We didn't want to have to do this, but... *glances at Kofi*
|
Kofi
|
*with distress* Please, shut this place down!
|
Steven
|
What's this? You want me to close my lovely establishment?
|
Mr. Fryman
|
*drops to his knees, hands clasped* Steven, we're begging you!
|
Kofi
|
*drops to his knees too* We can't compete with a place like this!
|
Mr. Fryman
|
You'll drive us out of business!
|
Kofi
|
There's already a line!
|
(Kofi points at the door, where Onion is seen standing outside, fork in hand.)
|
Steven
|
I'll close up shop, under one condition.
|
Kofi & Mr. Fryman
|
Anything!
|
Steven
|
Stop this foolish war! Cook for yourselves and the good of the boardwalk! No more cooking out of hate and spite.
|
(Mr. Fryman and Kofi look at each other and smile.)
|
Kofi
|
Let's just do, what we do best!
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Agreed!
|
(Mr. Fryman and Kofi hug each other.)
|
Peedee, Kiki, & Jenny
|
Yeah! *cheer and walk up to their fathers*
|
Jenny
|
Good job, daddy.
|
Mr. Fryman
|
Do you hear that, Ronaldo? The war's over!
|
(Ronaldo, still crying face-down on the table, gives a thumbs up.)
|
Steven
|
Glad that's settled. *turns to the Gems in the kitchen* Y'all help me clean this place up.
|
Amethyst
|
Sorry. We on break.
|
(The star iris closes on Garnet, who then claps twice, ending the episode.)
|
[END]
|