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This is a transcribed copy of "Rocknaldo". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Storm in the Room" Next: "Tiger Philanthropist"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Beach City Boardwalk]
(Steven is taking a stroll along the boardwalk.)
Steven *sighs* Space is great, but nothing beats some good ol' atmosphere.
Ronaldo The horror! The terror! Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City!
(Steven spots Ronaldo in front of the Beach Citywalk Fries, handing out pamphlets and yelling aloud like a town crier, while different Beach City citizens such as Jenny and Onion simply pass by him.)
Ronaldo Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City? Mr. Smiley, protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City?
Steven *approaches Ronaldo* I'll protect myself from the menace that threatens Beach City.
Ronaldo Steven! I knew I could count on you!
(Steven takes a pamphlet and sits down on a bench.)
Steven Let's get knowledgeable! "How to Protect Yourself Against Rock People"? What? *opens the pamphlet* "Alien entities walk among us"? "They're adding mind-controlling minerals to our water suppl-" "They hate men"!?
Ronaldo Protect yourself against the menace that-
Steven Ronaldo, wait! What is this?
Ronaldo Well, technically, it's an infozine pamphlet, but I've been calling them "Ronalphlets."
Steven I get that part. I'm talking about all this mean stuff you're saying about the Crystal Gems!
Ronaldo No-no-no. Crystal Gems aren't Rock People. Crystal Gems fight Rock People. See my documentary: "Rising Tides, Crashing Skies".
Steven Crystal Gems don't just fight Rock People. We are Rock People! Also, don't say "Rock People". It's offensive.
Ronaldo Rock People are different, obviously. For starters, they have rocks embedded in their bodies.
Steven '*lifts up his shirt, revealing his gemstone* Like this?
Ronaldo But they can summon weapons from the Mud Dimension.
(Steven summons his shield.)
Ronaldo No-no, you're not getting it. They can alter their forms. That's how they trick humans into loving them!
(Steven shapeshifts his finger into a cat finger.)
Ronaldo Aww!... Wait a second. You're a Rock Person?!
Steven I'm a Crystal Gem, Ronaldo. *dismisses his cat finger and shield* And you're not wrong about everything. We're just ignored and misunderstood.
Ronaldo I'm so glad you're the only one that took a Ronalphlet! I'm so sorry! *starts weeping*
Steven Hey, it's okay. Everyone makes mistakes. Just as long as you realize that the Crystal Gems and I aren't that different from you.
Ronaldo Right. Thanks, Steven. I gotta go... rethink some things.
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(The Crystal Gems are reading Ronaldo's blog on Steven's phone in the kitchen.)
Amethyst *reading the blog* "I'm shutting down my blog," blah blah blah, "social media," blah. "I may never come back to the Internet!" *chuckles* Whoa, dude.
Pearl I suppose it's a good thing that he's taking time to think.
Steven There's a new post.
Pearl *slightly irritated* Hmmm...
Steven It's a video.
Ronaldo (Video) Good day, loyal followers of Keep Beach City Weird. I've come to you today because I pride myself in bringing you the truth about all the weird stuff in Beach City the Man doesn't want you to know about. But today, I need to tell you some truths about this man! I've mixed up what is right and wrong and ended up saying some pretty mean things about the Crystal Gems. I feel terrible about my mistake because I know more than anyone what it's like to do thankless work and to be an outsider. That's why I'm joining the Crystal Gems!
Pearl What?!
(Amethyst snorts and laughs. Ronaldo's video keeps playing in the background, when footsteps are heard outside the house.)
Ronaldo *bursts through the door* Steven!
Steven Ronaldo...
Ronaldo Guess what!
Steven You want to join the Crystal Gems.
Ronaldo *gasps* I thought you'd never ask! You know, I always felt strangely at home here.
Pearl *unimpressed* Unh-unh. No. You are not living here. And you certainly can't join the Crystal Gems.
Ronaldo But...
Garnet You don't have a gem. Your body is organic.
Steven My body's organic and I'm a Crystal Gem.
Pearl You're going to entertain this?
Steven We're all different, but we love and accept each other. That's what Crystal Gems do. And isn't it great that someone is actually interested in what we do? What better way to show him what we're about than to accept him as a Crystal Gem, too?
Pearl Uhhh...
(Garnet slowly starts clapping at Steven's inspirational speech.)
Amethyst *claps along* Let's do this!
Pearl Well, it's not the strangest house guest we've had.
(Ronaldo begins unpacking his luggage inside Steven's Room.)
Ronaldo So, when do I get issued my gem?
Steven Oh... It doesn't really-uh-eh- But if you had a gem, what would you want it to be?
Ronaldo Well, I care so much, I think it'd be, like, deep in my heart. Or like a million tiny gems, like one crushed-up gem coursing through my blood, like- like... Bloodstone!
Steven Perfect! That's your Crystal Gem name.
Ronaldo Wait! Check it out! *pulls out a green sword* I have a Gem Weapon now, too!
Steven Wow! A sword!
Ronaldo I got it at DelmarvaCon last year. It's a replica from the anime "I Can't Believe My Stepdad's My Sword". It can cut through a carton of milk like a carton of butter!
Steven There's a half-full juice box by the TV.
(Ronaldo unsheathes the sword and swings it at the juice box, sending it flying to the fridge, instead of cutting through it. Steven then tapes a paper star on Ronaldo's shirt.)
Steven Nice! That star looks good on you.
Ronaldo Thanks.
(Just then, the Gems warp in on the Warp Pad.)
Amethyst Mission time!
Ronaldo Awesome! Let me grab my katana from upstairs.
(Ronaldo tries to jumps on the living room couch and into Steven's room, and fails miserably.)
Ronaldo *wheezing and panting* I'ma take the stairs.
Pearl Uhh, I'm sorry, Bloodfry. You're going to have to sit this one out. It's a bit dangerous.
Ronaldo But Steven gets to go.
Garnet Steven is different. He's been training with us for years.
Steven Don't worry, Bloodstone. I didn't get to come along at first either. We can start your training soon. Be back in a bit!
(The Crystal Gems warp out, as Ronaldo watches on dejected.)
Ronaldo But... I'm a Crystal Gem, too.
(Ronaldo begins inspecting Steven, presumably returned from the mission earlier, with a pair of binoculars.)
Steven Um... hi, Bloodstone.
Ronaldo Oh. Hi, Steven. Didn't see you there. So... how'd the mission go without me holding you back?
Steven Uh, it went fine. You know, the usual: fighting monsters, sharing emotions.
Ronaldo I'm glad you didn't get hurt. With me not there.
Steven Yeah... Well, I'm heading out.
Ronaldo And you're going out like that?
Steven Uh... like what?
Ronaldo Well, I just think a real Crystal Gem would want to show off their gem, like, all the time. If I had a gem, I'd show mine off.
(Steven ties a knot in the bottom of his shirt to expose his gem.)
[Time-Skip; Night-time]
(Steven is fast asleep in his bed, listening to a relaxation track on his phone.)
Steven's Phone You are in a quiet forest. The trees are quiet. The sky is quiet. A small rabbit begins to sing. Ahhh...
Ronaldo Rah!
Steven What the-
(Ronaldo is seen taking a deep breath, as he hits a milk carton with his sword at the foot of Steven's bed, splashing milk in Steven's face.)
Steven *sighs* Bloodstone, I know you want to train, but it's bedtime.
Ronaldo Funny that you... sleep, when Gems don't need sleep. Why is that?
Steven I-I don't know. Because I'm half human, I get tired and I...
Ronaldo Huh. Well, I'm two halves human, and I'm not- *yawns loudly* -tired at all.
(Ronaldo begins twirling his sword around and accidentally drops it out of the bedroom. Steven's eye twitches.)
Ronaldo Ever since I became a Crystal Gem, uh... sleeping... *chuckles softly* I don't... do it.
Steven That's great, Bloodstone. *goes back to sleep*
Ronaldo *sleepy* What a cool name. I'm so cool.
(Ronaldo tries to reach for his sword, and falls out of the bedroom.)
[Time-Skip; The Next Time]
(Steven bides Connie goodbye as she leaves Steven's house.)
Steven Bye, Connie! See you tomorrow for sword training! *bumps into Ronaldo inside the house* Ah!
Ronaldo Her gem weapon's a sword, huh? She totally ripped that off from me.
Steven What?! That sword belonged to my mom!
Ronaldo How come I don't get your mom's gempon? That's "Gem" and "weapon".
Steven Well, Connie's been a part of the Crystal Gems longer than you, so...
Ronaldo Admit it. She's just in because she's your girlfriend.
Steven What are you talking about?!
Ronaldo She doesn't even live here! I'm here all the time! Look at that quality groove I've established! *gestures at a groove indented in the couch* If she was a real Crystal Gem, she'd be a little bit more dedicated!
Steven Are you serious?! Bloodstone, ever since you got here, all you've done is boss me around! Who are you to tell anyone how to be a Crystal Gem?! You're just- You're just... a guy with a blog!
Ronaldo *deadpan* Is that love? Is that acceptance? Maybe you're the one that isn't a Crystal Gem. I think you need to leave and think about stuff.
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
(Complying to Ronaldo's words, Steven begins pacing around on the beach.)
Steven What is my problem? He just wanted to be included. If I were really a Crystal Gem, I'd never... *pauses and realizes* Wait a second.
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Steven stomps back into the house, where Ronaldo is laughing maniacally and patting the kitchen counter, while the Gems watch on.)
Ronaldo Amethyst! *keeps laughing*
Amethyst Yo, I didn't even say anything.
Steven Bloodstone! We need to talk!
(Ronaldo, drooling from his mouth, turns to Steven.)
Steven You're right! The Crystal Gems are about love and acceptance! But you've been acting really mean to me, and I don't love that. I don't accept that. I wish I hadn't snapped at you, it's just... I really thought you joined because you were interested in the Crystal Gems. But the second it wasn't about you, you stopped caring. This isn't the Bloodstone club about making Bloodstone feel good. This is my whole life! Do you care about that or not?!
(Ronaldo's star starts falling off his shirt, and then he collapses onto the floor.)
Amethyst Whoa! You truthed him so hard, he died!
Steven No! Bloodstone! Bloodstone!
(Ronaldo begins snoring.)
Steven *sighs* He's just asleep. Guess staying awake for a whole week finally caught up with him.
Pearl Well, what do we do with Fryrocko now?
[Trans. Ext. Beach Citywalk Fries; Night-time]
(The Crystal Gems drop Ronaldo outside on the ground of the Beach Citywalk Fries.)
Garnet We should let his parent know he's back.
Amethyst *shapeshifts into Ronaldo* Hey, Dad. I'm back. Blog, blog, blog.
Pearl That was really good!
Amethyst *shapeshifts back to normal* Thanks!
Steven I'll... text Peedee and let him know he's here. You think he'll be okay?
Amethyst You've worried about him enough, Steven.
Garnet Crystal Gems, let's head back.
(Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst leap onto the beach and begin walking off. Steven remains behind, staring at Ronaldo, snoring away on the boardwalk.)
[Time-Skip; Three Weeks Later]
(Steven is walking around the boardwalk, seemingly worried, when he spots Ronaldo brooding on a bench.)
Steven Bloodstone!
Ronaldo Oh. Hey, Steven.
Steven Are you all right? I haven't seen you in... three weeks.
Ronaldo Yeah. I took a real long nap, and then I did some hard thinking. I wasn't acting like Bloodstone. I was acting like... Jerknaldo. You accepted me, but I still felt like an outsider. I guess even amongst outsiders, I am the ultimate outsider. I think it's better Ronaldo Fryman work alone.
Steven Are you sure? I was really glad you wanted to help our cause.
Ronaldo I still do. *hands Steven a new "Ronalphlet"*
Steven Oh. It's you and Pearl shaking hands. When did that happen?
Ronaldo I used the magic of photo-editing software. Hey, but, uh... Ronalphlets aside, can I ask you something?
Steven Yeah?
Ronaldo Why don't you use your Gem name?
Steven Oh. My Gem name is my mom's name. Actually, the only time Gems really call me that is, if they're about to kidnap me or beat me up.
Ronaldo That's rough, buddy. You want me to put that in the Ronalphlet?
Steven Eh... maybe not.
Ronaldo Got it.
(The star iris then closes on Ronaldo's face, ending the episode.)

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus