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This is a transcribed copy of Rocknaldo. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Storm in the Room" Next: "Tiger Philanthropist"
Speaker Dialogue
(The episode starts with a panoramic view of Beach City. Steven is taking a stroll.)
Steven (Sighs) Space is great, but nothing beats some good ol' atmosphere.
Ronaldo The horror! The terror! Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City!
(Onion jumps in out of the blue)
Ronaldo Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City? Mr Smiley! Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City!
Steven I'll protect my self from the menace that threatens Beach City.
Ronaldo Steven! I knew I could count on you!
Steven Let's get knowledge-able! How to protect yourself against Rock People? What? Alien entities walk among us? They are adding mind controlling minerals to our water suppl- They hate men!
Ronaldo Protect yourself against the menace that-
Steven Ronaldo! Wait! What is this!
Ronaldo Well, technically it's an infozine phamplet, but I've been calling them Ronal-plets.
Steven I get that part. I'm talking about all this mean stuff you're saying about the Crystal Gems!
Ronaldo No no no. Crystal Gems aren't Rock People. Crystal Gems fight Rock People. See my documentary Rising Tides, Crashing Skies.
Steven Crystal Gems don't just fight Rock People, we are Rock People. Also, don't say Rock People, it's offensive.
Ronaldo Rock People are different, obviously. For starters, they have rocks embedded in their bodies.
Steven (Lifts up shirt, showing Rose's Gem) Like this?
Ronaldo But they can summon weapons from the mud dimension.
(Steven summons Rose's shield)
Ronaldo No no, you're not getting it. They can alter their forms. That's how they trick humans into loving them.
(Steven shapeshifts his finger into a cat finger)
Ronaldo Awww. Wait a second. You are a Rock Person?
Steven I'm a Crystal Gem, Ronaldo. (Dismisses cat finger and Rose's shield) And you are not wrong about everything. We are just ignored and misunderstood.
Ronaldo I'm so glad you're the only one that took a Ronal-plet. I'm so sorry! (Weeps)
Steven Hey! It's ok. Everyone makes mistakes. Just as long as you realize that the Crystal Gems and I aren't that different from you
Ronaldo R-right.Thanks. Steven. I-gotta-go. Re-think some things.
The scene switches to the interior of Steven's House, The Crystal Gems are reading Ronaldo's blog
Amethyst I'm shutting down my blog. Blah blah blah social media blah. I may never come back to the internet. He-he. Woah dude.
Pearl I suppose it's a good thing that he's taking time to think.
Steven There's a new post.
Pearl Hmmm.
Steven It's a video.
MP4 Good day loyal followers of Keep Beach City Weird. I've come to you today because I've prided myself in bringing you the truth, about all the weird stuff in Beach City the man doesn't want you to know about. But today I need to tell you some truths about this man. I might ??? what it's right or wrong and ended up saying some pretty mean things about the Crystal Gems. I feel terrible about my mistake because, I know more than anyone what it's like to do thankless work and to be an outsider. That's why I'm joining the Crystal Gems!
Amethyst (Snorts) (Laughs)
Pearl What!
(Ronaldo's video keeps playing in the background)
Ronaldo (Knocks door, and then slam opens the door) Steven!
Steven Ronaldo...
Ronaldo Guess what!
Steven You want to join the Crystal Gems.
Ronaldo (Gasps) I thought you'd never ask! You know I always felt strangely at home here.
Pearl Uh-uh. No. You are not living here. And you certainly can't join the Crystal Gems.
Ronaldo But...
Garnet You don't have a gem. Your body is organic.
Steven My body is organic and I'm a Crystal Gem.
Pearl You are going to entertain this?
Steven We are all different but we love and accept each other. That's what Crystal Gems do! And isn't it great that someone is actually interested in what we do? What better way to show 'em what we are about than to accept him as a Crystal Gem too.
Pearl Uh...
Garnet (Slowly claps)
Amethyst (Claps) Let's do this!
Pearl Well, it's not the strangest house guest we had.
Ronaldo So. When do I get issued my gem?
Steven Oh... It doesn't really eh... if you had a gem what would want it to be.
Ronaldo Well I care so much. I think it'd be like, deep in my heart. Or, like a million tiny gems, like one crushed-up gem coursing through my blood, like, like blood stone!
Steven Perfect! That's your Crystal Gem name.
Ronaldo Wait. Check it out! I have a Gem Weapon now too.
Steven Wow a sword!
Ronaldo I got it at a Del-Marba-Con last year. It's a replica from the anime I can't believe my step dad is my sword. It can cut throught a carton of milk like a carton of butter.
Steven There's a half-full juice box by the TV.
(Ronaldo unsheates the sword. And hits the juice box, sending it fly to the fridge.)
Ronaldo (Grunts)
(Steven tapes a star on Ronaldo's shirt)
Steven Nice. That star looks good on you.
Ronaldo Thanks!
Amethyst Mission time!
Ronaldo Awesome! Let me grab my katana from upstairs. (Jump on the couch trying to reach the sword. He fails miserably) (Tired) Imma take the stairs.
Pearl Uh, I'm sorry Blood-Fry. You are going to sit this one out. It's a bit dangerous.
Ronaldo But Steven gets to go.
Garnet Steven is different. He's been training with us for years.
Steven Don't worry Blood Stone. I didn't get to come along at first either. We can start your training soon. Be back in a bit.
Ronaldo But... I'm a Crystal Gem too.
(Ronaldo is inspecting Steven, with a pair of Binoculars, from a close distance)
Steven Um, hi Blood Stone.
Ronaldo Oh, hi Steven. Didn't see you there. So! How the mission go without me holding you back.
Steven Uh, it went fine. You know. The usual. Fighting monsters, sharing emotions.
Ronaldo I'm glad you didn't get hurt. With me. Not there.
Steven Yeah... Well. I'm hanging out.
Ronaldo And you are going out like that?
Steven Uh, like what?
Ronaldo Well, I just think a real Crystal Gem would want to show off their gem, like all the time. If I had a gem I'd show mine off.
(Steven ties a knot in the bottom of his shirt, revealing his gem)
MP4 [...] You are in a quite forest. The trees are quite. The sky is quite. The small rabbit begins to sing. Oh.
Ronaldo Wah!
Steven What the!
Ronaldo (Breathes in) Ah! (Hits a juice box, splashing juice in Steven's face)
Steven Ugh. Blood Stone. I know you wanna train but it's bed time.
Ronaldo Funny that you, sleep. When Gems don't need to sleep. Why is that?
Steven I... I don't know! Because I'm half human! I get tired and I...
Ronaldo Ha! Well I'm two halves human and I'm not (Yawns) tired at all.
(Ronaldo swing the sword around. He drops it. Steven's eye twitch.)
Ronaldo Ever since I became a Crystal Gem uh sleeping. Ha ha. I don't... do it.
Steven That's great Blood stone.
Ronaldo (Sleepy) What a cool name. I'm so cool. (Falls off to the first floor)
(The next day, just outside of Steven's House. Connie is leaving the place)
Steven Bye Connie! See you tomorrow for sword training. (Bumps into Ronaldo) Ah!
Ronaldo Her gem weapons is a sword eh? She totally ripped that off from me.
Steven What? That sword belonged to my mom!
Ronaldo How come I don't get your mom's gempon? That's gem and weapon.
Steven Well, Connie's been a part of the Crystal Gems longer than you, so...
Ronaldo Admit it. She's just in because she is your girlfriend.
Steven What are you talking about?
Ronaldo She doesn't even live here! I'm here all the time! Look at that quality grub I've established. If she was a real Crystal Gem she'd be a little bit more dedicated.
Steven Are you serious? Blood Stone, ever since you got here all you've done is boss me around. Who are you to tell anyone how to be a Crystal Gem? You are just! You are just! A guy with a blog!
Ronaldo (Deadpan) Is that love? Is that acceptance? Maybe you are the one that isn't a Crystal Gem. I think you need to leave and think about stuff.
Steven It's my problem. Just wanted to be included. If I were really a Crystal Gem I'd never... wait a second.
Ronaldo (Maniacally laughing) Amethyst! (Laughs)
Amethyst Yo. I didn't even said anything.
Steven Blood Stone! We need to talk. You are right, the Crystal Gems are about love and acceptance. But you've been acting really mean to me. And I don't love that. I don't accept that. I wished I hadn't snapped you, it's just... I really thought you joined because you were interested in the Crystal Gems. But the second it wasn't about you, you stopped caring. This isn't the Blood Stone club, about making Blood Stone feel good. This is my whole life. You care about that or not!
(Ronaldo's star start falling off, and then he faints)
Amethyst Woah! You truth-'im so hard he died!
Steven No! Blood Stone! Blood Stone!
Ronaldo (Snores)
Steven (Sighs) He's just asleep. Guess staying awake for a whole week finally caught up with him.
Pearl Well, what do we do with Fry-Rocko now?
(The Crystal Gems carry Ronaldo outside his home, and drop him on the floor)
Garnet We should let his parent know his back.
Amethyst (Shapeshifts into Ronaldo) Hey dad! I'm back! Blog blog blog.
Pearl That was really good!
Amethyst Thanks!
Steven I'll text Peedee and let him know he's here. You think he'll be okay?
Amethyst ???
Garnet Crystal Gems! Let's head back.
Ronaldo (Snores)
(The next day, Steven is walking around, with a worried expression on his face)
Steven Blood Stone!
Ronaldo Oh. Hey Steven.
Steven Are you alright? I haven't seen you in, three weeks.
Ronaldo Yeah. I took a real long nap and then I did some hard thinking. I wasn't acting like Blood Stone. I was acting like (breaths in) Jerk-naldo. You accepted me. But I still thought like an outsider. I guess even amongst outsiders, I'm the ultimate outsider. I think it's better Ronaldo Fryman worked alone.
Steven Are you sure? I was really glad you wanted to help our cause.
Ronaldo I still do! (Hands Steven a new Ronal-plet
Steven Oh. It's you and Pearl shaking hands. When did that happen?
Ronaldo I used the magic of photo editing software. Hey bud. Uh, Ronal-plets aside. Can I ask you something?
Steven Yeah?
Ronaldo Why don't you use your Gem name?
Steven Oh. My Gem name is my Mom's name. Actually, the only time Gems really call me that is if they're about to kidnap me, or beat me up.
Ronaldo That's rough, buddy. You want me to put that in the Ronal-plet?
Steven Eh... maybe not.
Ronaldo Got it.
(The screen closes in a star shape on Ronaldo's face.)


ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus
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