Speaker
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Dialogue
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(The episode starts with a panoramic view of Beach City. Steven is taking a stroll.)
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Steven
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(Sighs) Space is great, but nothing beats some good ol' atmosphere.
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Ronaldo
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The horror! The terror! Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City!
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(Onion jumps in out of the blue)
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Ronaldo
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Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City? Mr Smiley! Protect yourself against the menace that threatens Beach City!
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Steven
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I'll protect my self from the menace that threatens Beach City.
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Ronaldo
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Steven! I knew I could count on you!
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Steven
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Let's get knowledge-able! How to protect yourself against Rock People? What? Alien entities walk among us? They are adding mind controlling minerals to our water suppl- They hate men!
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Ronaldo
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Protect yourself against the menace that-
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Steven
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Ronaldo! Wait! What is this!
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Ronaldo
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Well, technically it's an infozine phamplet, but I've been calling them Ronal-plets.
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Steven
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I get that part. I'm talking about all this mean stuff you're saying about the Crystal Gems!
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Ronaldo
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No no no. Crystal Gems aren't Rock People. Crystal Gems fight Rock People. See my documentary Rising Tides, Crashing Skies.
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Steven
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Crystal Gems don't just fight Rock People, we are Rock People. Also, don't say Rock People, it's offensive.
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Ronaldo
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Rock People are different, obviously. For starters, they have rocks embedded in their bodies.
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Steven
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(Lifts up shirt, showing Rose's Gem) Like this?
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Ronaldo
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But they can summon weapons from the mud dimension.
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(Steven summons Rose's shield)
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Ronaldo
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No no, you're not getting it. They can alter their forms. That's how they trick humans into loving them.
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(Steven shapeshifts his finger into a cat finger)
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Ronaldo
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Awww. Wait a second. You are a Rock Person?
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Steven
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I'm a Crystal Gem, Ronaldo. (Dismisses cat finger and Rose's shield) And you are not wrong about everything. We are just ignored and misunderstood.
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Ronaldo
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I'm so glad you're the only one that took a Ronal-plet. I'm so sorry! (Weeps)
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Steven
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Hey! It's ok. Everyone makes mistakes. Just as long as you realize that the Crystal Gems and I aren't that different from you
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Ronaldo
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R-right.Thanks. Steven. I-gotta-go. Re-think some things.
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The scene switches to the interior of Steven's House, The Crystal Gems are reading Ronaldo's blog
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Amethyst
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I'm shutting down my blog. Blah blah blah social media blah. I may never come back to the internet. He-he. Woah dude.
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Pearl
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I suppose it's a good thing that he's taking time to think.
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Steven
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There's a new post.
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Pearl
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Hmmm.
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Steven
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It's a video.
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MP4
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Good day loyal followers of Keep Beach City Weird. I've come to you today because I've prided myself in bringing you the truth, about all the weird stuff in Beach City the man doesn't want you to know about. But today I need to tell you some truths about this man. I might ??? what it's right or wrong and ended up saying some pretty mean things about the Crystal Gems. I feel terrible about my mistake because, I know more than anyone what it's like to do thankless work and to be an outsider. That's why I'm joining the Crystal Gems!
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Amethyst
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(Snorts) (Laughs)
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Pearl
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What!
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(Ronaldo's video keeps playing in the background)
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Ronaldo
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(Knocks door, and then slam opens the door) Steven!
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Steven
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Ronaldo...
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Ronaldo
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Guess what!
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Steven
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You want to join the Crystal Gems.
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Ronaldo
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(Gasps) I thought you'd never ask! You know I always felt strangely at home here.
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Pearl
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Uh-uh. No. You are not living here. And you certainly can't join the Crystal Gems.
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Ronaldo
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But...
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Garnet
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You don't have a gem. Your body is organic.
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Steven
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My body is organic and I'm a Crystal Gem.
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Pearl
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You are going to entertain this?
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Steven
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We are all different but we love and accept each other. That's what Crystal Gems do! And isn't it great that someone is actually interested in what we do? What better way to show 'em what we are about than to accept him as a Crystal Gem too.
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Pearl
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Uh...
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Garnet
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(Slowly claps)
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Amethyst
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(Claps) Let's do this!
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Pearl
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Well, it's not the strangest house guest we had.
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Ronaldo
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So. When do I get issued my gem?
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Steven
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Oh... It doesn't really eh... if you had a gem what would want it to be.
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Ronaldo
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Well I care so much. I think it'd be like, deep in my heart. Or, like a million tiny gems, like one crushed-up gem coursing through my blood, like, like blood stone!
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Steven
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Perfect! That's your Crystal Gem name.
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Ronaldo
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Wait. Check it out! I have a Gem Weapon now too.
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Steven
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Wow a sword!
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Ronaldo
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I got it at a Del-Marba-Con last year. It's a replica from the anime I can't believe my step dad is my sword. It can cut throught a carton of milk like a carton of butter.
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Steven
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There's a half-full juice box by the TV.
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(Ronaldo unsheates the sword. And hits the juice box, sending it fly to the fridge.)
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Ronaldo
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(Grunts)
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(Steven tapes a star on Ronaldo's shirt)
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Steven
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Nice. That star looks good on you.
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Ronaldo
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Thanks!
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Amethyst
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Mission time!
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Ronaldo
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Awesome! Let me grab my katana from upstairs. (Jump on the couch trying to reach the sword. He fails miserably) (Tired) Imma take the stairs.
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Pearl
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Uh, I'm sorry Blood-Fry. You are going to sit this one out. It's a bit dangerous.
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Ronaldo
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But Steven gets to go.
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Garnet
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Steven is different. He's been training with us for years.
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Steven
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Don't worry Blood Stone. I didn't get to come along at first either. We can start your training soon. Be back in a bit.
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Ronaldo
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But... I'm a Crystal Gem too.
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(Ronaldo is inspecting Steven, with a pair of Binoculars, from a close distance)
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Steven
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Um, hi Blood Stone.
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Ronaldo
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Oh, hi Steven. Didn't see you there. So! How the mission go without me holding you back.
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Steven
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Uh, it went fine. You know. The usual. Fighting monsters, sharing emotions.
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Ronaldo
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I'm glad you didn't get hurt. With me. Not there.
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Steven
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Yeah... Well. I'm hanging out.
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Ronaldo
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And you are going out like that?
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Steven
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Uh, like what?
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Ronaldo
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Well, I just think a real Crystal Gem would want to show off their gem, like all the time. If I had a gem I'd show mine off.
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(Steven ties a knot in the bottom of his shirt, revealing his gem)
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MP4
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[...] You are in a quite forest. The trees are quite. The sky is quite. The small rabbit begins to sing. Oh.
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Ronaldo
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Wah!
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Steven
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What the!
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Ronaldo
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(Breathes in) Ah! (Hits a juice box, splashing juice in Steven's face)
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Steven
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Ugh. Blood Stone. I know you wanna train but it's bed time.
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Ronaldo
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Funny that you, sleep. When Gems don't need to sleep. Why is that?
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Steven
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I... I don't know! Because I'm half human! I get tired and I...
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Ronaldo
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Ha! Well I'm two halves human and I'm not (Yawns) tired at all.
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(Ronaldo swing the sword around. He drops it. Steven's eye twitch.)
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Ronaldo
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Ever since I became a Crystal Gem uh sleeping. Ha ha. I don't... do it.
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Steven
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That's great Blood stone.
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Ronaldo
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(Sleepy) What a cool name. I'm so cool. (Falls off to the first floor)
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(The next day, just outside of Steven's House. Connie is leaving the place)
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Steven
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Bye Connie! See you tomorrow for sword training. (Bumps into Ronaldo) Ah!
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Ronaldo
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Her gem weapons is a sword eh? She totally ripped that off from me.
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Steven
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What? That sword belonged to my mom!
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Ronaldo
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How come I don't get your mom's gempon? That's gem and weapon.
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Steven
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Well, Connie's been a part of the Crystal Gems longer than you, so...
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Ronaldo
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Admit it. She's just in because she is your girlfriend.
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Steven
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What are you talking about?
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Ronaldo
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She doesn't even live here! I'm here all the time! Look at that quality grub I've established. If she was a real Crystal Gem she'd be a little bit more dedicated.
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Steven
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Are you serious? Blood Stone, ever since you got here all you've done is boss me around. Who are you to tell anyone how to be a Crystal Gem? You are just! You are just! A guy with a blog!
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Ronaldo
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(Deadpan) Is that love? Is that acceptance? Maybe you are the one that isn't a Crystal Gem. I think you need to leave and think about stuff.
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Steven
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It's my problem. Just wanted to be included. If I were really a Crystal Gem I'd never... wait a second.
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Ronaldo
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(Maniacally laughing) Amethyst! (Laughs)
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Amethyst
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Yo. I didn't even said anything.
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Steven
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Blood Stone! We need to talk. You are right, the Crystal Gems are about love and acceptance. But you've been acting really mean to me. And I don't love that. I don't accept that. I wished I hadn't snapped you, it's just... I really thought you joined because you were interested in the Crystal Gems. But the second it wasn't about you, you stopped caring. This isn't the Blood Stone club, about making Blood Stone feel good. This is my whole life. You care about that or not!
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(Ronaldo's star start falling off, and then he faints)
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Amethyst
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Woah! You truth-'im so hard he died!
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Steven
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No! Blood Stone! Blood Stone!
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Ronaldo
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(Snores)
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Steven
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(Sighs) He's just asleep. Guess staying awake for a whole week finally caught up with him.
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Pearl
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Well, what do we do with Fry-Rocko now?
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(The Crystal Gems carry Ronaldo outside his home, and drop him on the floor)
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Garnet
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We should let his parent know his back.
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Amethyst
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(Shapeshifts into Ronaldo) Hey dad! I'm back! Blog blog blog.
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Pearl
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That was really good!
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Amethyst
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Thanks!
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Steven
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I'll text Peedee and let him know he's here. You think he'll be okay?
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Amethyst
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???
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Garnet
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Crystal Gems! Let's head back.
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Ronaldo
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(Snores)
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(The next day, Steven is walking around, with a worried expression on his face)
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Steven
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Blood Stone!
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Ronaldo
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Oh. Hey Steven.
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Steven
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Are you alright? I haven't seen you in, three weeks.
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Ronaldo
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Yeah. I took a real long nap and then I did some hard thinking. I wasn't acting like Blood Stone. I was acting like (breaths in) Jerk-naldo. You accepted me. But I still thought like an outsider. I guess even amongst outsiders, I'm the ultimate outsider. I think it's better Ronaldo Fryman worked alone.
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Steven
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Are you sure? I was really glad you wanted to help our cause.
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Ronaldo
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I still do! (Hands Steven a new Ronal-plet
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Steven
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Oh. It's you and Pearl shaking hands. When did that happen?
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Ronaldo
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I used the magic of photo editing software. Hey bud. Uh, Ronal-plets aside. Can I ask you something?
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Steven
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Yeah?
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Ronaldo
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Why don't you use your Gem name?
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Steven
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Oh. My Gem name is my Mom's name. Actually, the only time Gems really call me that is if they're about to kidnap me, or beat me up.
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Ronaldo
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That's rough, buddy. You want me to put that in the Ronal-plet?
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Steven
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Eh... maybe not.
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Ronaldo
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Got it.
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(The screen closes in a star shape on Ronaldo's face.)
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