| Speaker
| Dialogue
|
| [Open Int. Beach House
|
| (Steven is drawing a flyer of Greg as "Guitar Dad" in his room with a pencil, and then making the final touches with a red marker.)
|
| Steven
| *picks up the drawing and runs down the steps* Pearl! Amethyst! Garnet! Uh-ah!
|
| (Steven finds all the Gems are sitting on the couch in the living room.)
|
| Pearl
| *reading a magazine* You don't have to yell, Steven, we're right here.
|
| Steven
| I know, but I just finished this drawing, and I wanted to show it to you.
|
| Pearl
| Oh! Uh... Of course.
|
| Steven
| All right! *jumps on Garnet's lap and shows the Gems his flyer* Haha! "Guitar Dad teaches you guitar!"
|
| Amethyst
| What is that?
|
| Steven
| It's my dad. He's going to start teaching guitar lessons and he made me his P.R. Department.
|
| Amethyst
| *points at some crosses on Greg's mouth* What's that stuff in his mouth?
|
| Steven
| Those are his teeth.
|
| Pearl
| What are the lightning bolts for?
|
| Steven
| Ugh... Well, ah... I was trying to show that Dad really rocks on the guitar, and...
|
| Garnet
| *points at the flyer* Then there should be rocks falling out of the guitar.
|
| Steven
| I hear what you're saying, but it's too late for notes... this is permanent marker.
|
| [Trans. Int. Big Donut]
|
| (Steven tapes the flyer on the billboard inside the Big Donut.)
|
| Sadie
| What's that cute flyer for, Steven?
|
| Steven
| It's for my dad, he'll teach you guitar, you guys wanna sign up? My dad's really good.
|
| Sadie
| Maybe I'll stop by and check it out.
|
| Steven
| Here, lemme give you a flyer and—
|
| (The door bell chimes and Buck enters.)
|
| Sadie
| Welcome to the Big Donut.
|
| Steven
| Hey, Buck.
|
| Lars
| *surprised* Oh! W-what? *flaps his arms like a chicken* Buck, Buck, Buuuuuuuuck! Haha! *takes off his headphones* What's going on man? What can we get for you today?
|
| Buck
| *looks at the menu, then at the donuts* Can I get a caprese salad?
|
| Sadie
| Oh sorry, Buck. We only serve don-
|
| Lars
| *barges in* DO-NUT worry, Buck! I'll whip ya up a salad, no sweat! *makes a thumb-up, sweating* I'll be right back. *runs into the break room*
|
| Sadie
| Lars! We don't even have vegetables here! *runs after Lars*
|
| Buck
| *looks at Steven's flyer* Heh, what's a "guitar dad"?
|
| Steven
| Like my flyer? It's for my dad. *pretends to play a guitar* He'll teach you guitar! Here, take one of these with you. Actually, just wear it. *tapes a flyer onto Buck's shirt*
|
| (Buck starts laughing uncontrollably.)
|
| Steven
| Are you ticklish?
|
| Buck
| This would make a rad shirt, man.
|
| Steven
| Really?
|
| Buck
| Yeah, let's make your flyer into T-shirts.
|
| Steven
| Oh man, my dad would love that!
|
| Buck
| Gimme five on it. *holds out his hand*
|
| (Steven swings his hand too hard and misses Buck's hand.)
|
| Buck
| Oh, you missed.
|
| [Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse]
|
| (Steven and Buck meet up with Mayor Dewey, who is unloading several boxes of campaign supplies from his van in the warehouse.)
|
| Mayor Dewey
| Ho! I think it's swell you're returning to the family business, son. Gonna help the old man get re-elected again, eh? *hugs Buck and pats his head* Aww, son!
|
| Buck
| *breaks free* Ugh! It's not for campaign stuff, dad. Steven and I are making art.
|
| Steven
| *gasps* Art!
|
| Mayor Dewey
| Art, huh? I don't understand it myself, but a boy's gotta have interests and ambitions. *slaps Buck hard on the back, causing his visor to fall off* WOAH-HO-HO-HO!
|
| Steven
| *looks around at the supplies and equipment* This stuff can be used to make t-shirts?
|
| Mayor Dewey
| Oh yeah, I've got all the latest, state of the art screen-printing equipment from years of campaigning. And other some such, mayorly things. Like this week, I'm commemorating... a bench!
|
| (Mayor Dewey shows the boys a banner of "Bench City", which is just a banner that reads "Welcome to Beach City", with a "N" written onto the "A" with a marker.)
|
| Steven
| "Welcome to... Bench City"? Thrifty!
|
| Buck
| *moans* Dad, you can't use this.
|
| Mayor Dewey
| Why not? You know I "gotta gank dat youth vote, boi"! *tries to do cool poses*
|
| Buck
| Dad, stop.
|
| (Steven goes to open one of the boxes and finds several flyers, similar to Steven's. He takes one out and it reads "Vote for My Dad" with a drawing of Buck and Mayor Dewey holding hands.)
|
| Steven
| What's this?
|
| Mayor Dewey
| What have you got there? *takes the flyer* Aww... I haven't seen this in years. Remember when you drew this, Buck? You couldn't wait to show it off to all your li'l Montessori friends.
|
| Buck
| Okay, dad. Thanks for all your help, see ya later, bye. *starts pushing Mayor Dewey out*
|
| Mayor Dewey
| Alright, kids. I mean... "Peace in the Middle-East, Holmes."
|
| Steven
| *picks up another one of Buck's flyers* So cool.
|
| Buck
| *quickly grabs and crumples the flyer* Let's just get started already.
|
| (Buck and Steven proceed to make multiple copies of T-shirts using the equipment Mayor Dewey provided, with Steven's "Guitar Dad" flyer printed on the T-shirts.)
|
| Buck
| *admires one of the T-shirts* Swag.
|
| Steven
| Now everyone's gonna want lessons from Dad!
|
| Buck
| This is bigger than your dad, Steven. It's art. And it's gonna flood the public consciousness. *his visor sparkles*
|
| Steven
| Let's start handing them out.
|
| Buck
| Too simple. We need to get controversial. We need to create boom— a scene.
|
| [Trans. Funland Arcade's Rooftop]
|
| (Steven is looking for victims to shoot their T-shirts at, through his binoculars, as Buck readies the T-Shirt Cannon.)
|
| Steven
| Scanning for targets, T-Shirt Cannon loaded and ready. Beep, beep, beep-bibibibibi! *points at Sour Cream* Sour Cream sighted!
|
| Sour Cream
| *using his phone* Wom, wom. Wom, wom, wom.
|
| Steven
| Get ready... Take aim.
|
| Buck
| Aaand... *shoots the cannon*
|
| Sour Cream
| Wom, wom, wom-WOMP! *gets hit in the head by the T-shirt* What in the world? *picks up and examines the T-shirt* Oh. This is the coolest thing I've ever been hit in the head with!
|
| Steven
| Ronaldo spotted, take aim!
|
| (Buck fires another T-shirt and it knocks Ronaldo's fedora off of his head.
|
| Ronaldo
| WHOA! What the heck? Huh? *picks up the T-shirt* Whoa, weird! Some kind of extraterrestrial space dad guitar shirt? Sooo... You've finally decided to make first contact, huh? WHERE ARE YOU?
|
| Steven
| Lars sighted, take aim!
|
| (Buck fires another T-shirt at Lars' head.
|
| Lars
| YEOWCH! What the—?! *picks up the T-shirt* What is this garbage? *looks up and see Buck and Steven* Buck made this?! *starts laughing aloud* This is hilarious! Thaaanks Buuuck!
|
| [Trans. Int. Fish Stew Pizza ]
|
| (Steven and Buck decide to take a break and eat pizzas together.)
|
| Steven
| Cheers! *chomps his pizza slice* Buck, this was such a good idea! I don't know why we didn't collaborate on a project sooner. This'll make my dad so happy. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I stop by later.
|
| Buck
| *eating his pizza slice* Yeah... should be good for a laugh.
|
| Steven
| Huh? Why would it be good for—
|
| Jenny
| *enters Fish Stew Pizza, wearing the "Guitar Dad" T-shirt* Giiiirl! Check out my new shiiiiirt!
|
| Kiki
| It's really cute. Where'd you get it?
|
| Jenny
| I dunno, it just landed in front of me when I was out walking.
|
| Kiki
| Well, if I were you, I wouldn't wear some random shirt that just fell out of the sky. What if there were bugs in it?
|
| Jenny
| Re-lax! Who cares where it came from? This shirt is the funniest thing I've seen in my life!
|
| Buck
| Looks like our shirt has a really good buzz goin'.
|
| Steven
| Yeah, but... I think they think it's a joke.
|
| Buck
| Heh. The only thing that's important is that they're talking about it. That's how real art works.
|
| Steven
| Oh. Well, I guess you're right.
|
| [Trans. Ext. It's A Wash]
|
| (Steven visits his Dad and sees Sour Cream taking a picture of Greg.)
|
| Greg
| Uh... how's this? *poses*
|
| Sour Cream
| Haha, so bad. *takes picture*
|
| Greg
| Okay, let's get started with the first lesson! Have a seat and grab a— (Sour Cream walks off.) Where ya goin'? Oh, uh, I guess he's got an important text or something.
|
| Steven
| How's it been going today?
|
| Greg
| Really great! Lots of people have been coming by thanks to your t-shirts, little guy.
|
| Steven
| That's great, Dad. I'm really glad I can help...
|
| Jenny
| Yoohoo! Guitar Dad! *drives by* I just wanted to say I think you're wonderful and hilarious! *drives off*
|
| Greg
| Uh... thank you? Huh, that's kinda strange.
|
| Steven
| What is?
|
| Greg
| Well, lots of people have stopped by, but no one's taken a lesson yet.
|
| Steven
| *surprised* What?! Really?!
|
| Greg
| Ah, maybe they're just checking out the scene before they come back to get a REAL lesson. *starts playing his guitar*
|
| [Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse]
|
| (Buck is printing more "Guitar Dad" T-shirts in the warehouse.)
|
| Steven
| Buck! *runs in*
|
| Buck
| Hey, there's my main man.
|
| Steven
| The shirts aren't working, Buck!
|
| Buck
| Yeah they are, *picks up a t-shirt* people love' em.
|
| Steven
| But... nobody wants guitar lessons from my dad!
|
| Buck
| That's not the point.
|
| Steven
| What?! Then, what is the point?
|
| Buck
| The point is, it's an amazing shirt.
|
| Steven
| *blushes* Aww, my drawing's not that good, ahaha.
|
| Buck
| Yeah, no. It's terrible.
|
| Steven
| What?!
|
| Buck
| That's what's so great about it. Your work is so naive. You really love your dad. It's funny.
|
| Steven
| I... I don't wanna make these shirts anymore.
|
| Buck
| Too bad, Steven, it's so current, you can't stop it. I'm a taste maker, and I'm gonna keep making tastes... forever.
|
| Steven
| "Forever"? *gets nervous*
|
| Buck
| Well, forever after I go to my dad's lame bench commemoration... peace. *holds a peace sign above his head and walks away*
|
| [Trans. Int. Beach House]
|
| (Steven runs back to his house and bursts through the door.)
|
| Steven
| Garnet! Pearl! Amethyst!
|
| (All the Gems stand up in high alert.)
|
| Garnet
| Steven.
|
| Pearl
| What is it?!
|
| Amethyst
| Whoa, where's the fire?!
|
| Steven
| It's an emergency! You have to help me get rid of all the shirts and stop Buck from making more!
|
| Pearl
| Have the shirts come to life and possessed the bodies of their wearers?!
|
| Steven
| No! They just-
|
| Amethyst
| Are people catching on fire when they put on the magic shirts?
|
| Steven
| No, no, they're just-
|
| Pearl
| *spewing saliva while speaking in panic* Are the shirts destroying the wearer's will to continue on in this mortal coil, thereby shutting down Beach City?!
|
| Steven
| NO!! They're... *sighs* They're just... using my art in a way I don't agree with.
|
| Pearl
| Oh.
|
| (All the Gems sit back down on the couch.)
|
| Garnet
| *adjusts her visor* Eh, we'll pass.
|
| Steven
| What?! But... But I really need your help.
|
| Pearl
| Steven, this sounds like a very abstract problem.
|
| Amethyst
| It's not something we can punch. *punches her own palm*
|
| Garnet
| You MUST learn to help yourself. That's how you become stronger. *her visor sparkles*
|
| Amethyst
| Good point, good point. *nods*
|
| Pearl
| Absolutely.
|
| Steven
| But...!
|
| Amethyst
| *starts getting annoyed* Figure something OUT, Steven!
|
| Pearl
| Yes! Why not dust off those conflict resolution skills?
|
| Garnet
| Let your problem be known. Then you can work towards an understanding.
|
| Steven
| *thinks of an idea and speaks eerily* Oh, I'll make them understand. *walks out* I'll make them all understand!
|
| (The Gems are mildly surprised.)
|
| Amethyst
| Eh, he'll be fine.
|
| [Trans. Beach City Boardwalk]
|
| (Several citizens are gathered around Mayor Dewey near a bench.)
|
| Mayor Dewey
| Okay, is everyone here? *blushes and clears his throat* Hello! I was supposed to write a speech to uhm... *adjusts his neck tie* Uh... commemorate this... uh... new bench! But what had happened was I ran out of printer ink in my printer, that I keep at home!
|
| (Steven, wearing sunglasses, appears on the roof of the Funland Arcade. He opens a guitar case and takes out a T-Shirt Cannon. He loads it and takes aim towards Mayor Dewey like a sniper.)
|
| Mayor Dewey
| So, I went to the store and wouldn't you know it? They didn't carry the brand I was looking for, so-
|
| Steven
| *whispering* Bye.
|
| Mayor Dewey
| -I called up a buddy of mine who owed me a...
|
| (Everything turns into slow motion as Steven fires a T-shirt at Mayor Dewey.)
|
| Mayor Dewey (Slow motion)
| ...few political favors, and he wasn't home!
|
| Bodyguard #1 (Slow motion)
| *spots the T-shirt projectile* Look out! *drops his sandwich and runs away*
|
| Mayor Dewey (Slow motion)
| No!
|
| Bodyguard #2 (Slow motion)
| Aaaah! *runs away*
|
| (Mayor Dewey gets hit in the chest by the T-shirt and falls backwards onto the bench. Everything returns back to normal speed, as the crowd goes wild and runs in several directions.)
|
| Mayor Dewey
| I've been... shirt.
|
| (Steven fires more T-shirts into the crowd. Buck sees everyone running and picks up a T-shirt, noticing that they all have his "Vote for My Dad" drawing printed on them. Steven then slowly backs away into the shadows, smiling.)
|
| Mayor Dewey
| Buck... *looking at a T-shirt, feeling touched* Did you make this?
|
| (Buck is speechless. He looks over and sees Sour Cream and Jenny looking at the T-shirts too.)
|
| Jenny
| Ahahaha! This shirt is genius! *laughs with Sour Cream* This is way funnier than "Guitar Dad"!
|
| Lars
| Ahahahahahaha, ohoho! *holds a T-shirt, laughing aloud*
|
| Mayor Dewey
| *stops blushing and looks at the T-shirt* This bench is actually pretty comfortable.
|
| (Buck sheds a tear under his visor.)
|
| [Trans. It's A Wash]
|
| (Steven meets up with Greg again at his car wash.)
|
| Steven
| Anyone else stop by for lessons today?
|
| Greg
| So far, no, but I'm sure it'll pick up tomorrow.
|
| Steven
| Yeah! I'm sure it will. *hands Greg a T-shirt* Oh, this is for you by the way. This is the last one so it's super limited edition.
|
| Greg
| Aw, sweet! Thanks, Steven.
|
| (Steven smiles.)
|
| Buck
| Yo, Steven. *walks in* Just wanted to say uh... I'm sorry for what I did, and... uh...
|
| Steven
| It's okay, Buck. You don't have to say any more than that.
|
| Buck
| You're a cool cat, Steven Universe. *turns to Greg* Hey, Mr. U.
|
| Greg
| You wanna take a picture with me or some junk?
|
| Buck
| No way man. I want a lesson... from Guitar Dad!
|
| (Buck lifts up his jacket and reveals a "Guitar Dad" shirt he is wearing. The star iris then zooms in on Buck's shirt, ending the episode.)
|
| [END]
|
