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The Loop (TV)
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| This is a transcribed copy of "Shirt Club". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
| Previous: "Open Book" | Next: "Story for Steven" |
| Speaker | Dialogue |
|---|---|
| [Open Int. Beach House | |
| (Steven is drawing a flyer of Greg as "Guitar Dad" in his room with a pencil, and then making the final touches with a red marker.) | |
| Steven | *picks up the drawing and runs down the steps* Pearl! Amethyst! Garnet! Uh-ah! |
| (Steven finds all the Gems are sitting on the couch in the living room.) | |
| Pearl | *reading a magazine* You don't have to yell, Steven, we're right here. |
| Steven | I know, but I just finished this drawing, and I wanted to show it to you. |
| Pearl | Oh! Uh... Of course. |
| Steven | All right! *jumps on Garnet's lap and shows the Gems his flyer* Haha! "Guitar Dad teaches you guitar!" |
| Amethyst | What is that? |
| Steven | It's my dad. He's going to start teaching guitar lessons and he made me his P.R. Department. |
| Amethyst | *points at some crosses on Greg's mouth* What's that stuff in his mouth? |
| Steven | Those are his teeth. |
| Pearl | What are the lightning bolts for? |
| Steven | Ugh... Well, ah... I was trying to show that Dad really rocks on the guitar, and... |
| Garnet | *points at the flyer* Then there should be rocks falling out of the guitar. |
| Steven | I hear what you're saying, but it's too late for notes... this is permanent marker. |
| [Trans. Int. Big Donut] | |
| (Steven tapes the flyer on the billboard inside the Big Donut.) | |
| Sadie | What's that cute flyer for, Steven? |
| Steven | It's for my dad, he'll teach you guitar, you guys wanna sign up? My dad's really good. |
| Sadie | Maybe I'll stop by and check it out. |
| Steven | Here, lemme give you a flyer and— |
| (The door bell chimes and Buck enters.) | |
| Sadie | Welcome to the Big Donut. |
| Steven | Hey, Buck. |
| Lars | *surprised* Oh! W-what? *flaps his arms like a chicken* Buck, Buck, Buuuuuuuuck! Haha! *takes off his headphones* What's going on man? What can we get for you today? |
| Buck | *looks at the menu, then at the donuts* Can I get a caprese salad? |
| Sadie | Oh sorry, Buck. We only serve don- |
| Lars | *barges in* DO-NUT worry, Buck! I'll whip ya up a salad, no sweat! *makes a thumb-up, sweating* I'll be right back. *runs into the break room* |
| Sadie | Lars! We don't even have vegetables here! *runs after Lars* |
| Buck | *looks at Steven's flyer* Heh, what's a "guitar dad"? |
| Steven | Like my flyer? It's for my dad. *pretends to play a guitar* He'll teach you guitar! Here, take one of these with you. Actually, just wear it. *tapes a flyer onto Buck's shirt* |
| (Buck starts laughing uncontrollably.) | |
| Steven | Are you ticklish? |
| Buck | This would make a rad shirt, man. |
| Steven | Really? |
| Buck | Yeah, let's make your flyer into T-shirts. |
| Steven | Oh man, my dad would love that! |
| Buck | Gimme five on it. *holds out his hand* |
| (Steven swings his hand too hard and misses Buck's hand.) | |
| Buck | Oh, you missed. |
| [Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse] | |
| (Steven and Buck meet up with Mayor Dewey, who is unloading several boxes of campaign supplies from his van in the warehouse.) | |
| Mayor Dewey | Ho! I think it's swell you're returning to the family business, son. Gonna help the old man get re-elected again, eh? *hugs Buck and pats his head* Aww, son! |
| Buck | *breaks free* Ugh! It's not for campaign stuff, dad. Steven and I are making art. |
| Steven | *gasps* Art! |
| Mayor Dewey | Art, huh? I don't understand it myself, but a boy's gotta have interests and ambitions. *slaps Buck hard on the back, causing his visor to fall off* WOAH-HO-HO-HO! |
| Steven | *looks around at the supplies and equipment* This stuff can be used to make t-shirts? |
| Mayor Dewey | Oh yeah, I've got all the latest, state of the art screen-printing equipment from years of campaigning. And other some such, mayorly things. Like this week, I'm commemorating... a bench! |
| (Mayor Dewey shows the boys a banner of "Bench City", which is just a banner that reads "Welcome to Beach City", with a "N" written onto the "A" with a marker.) | |
| Steven | "Welcome to... Bench City"? Thrifty! |
| Buck | *moans* Dad, you can't use this. |
| Mayor Dewey | Why not? You know I "gotta gank dat youth vote, boi"! *tries to do cool poses* |
| Buck | Dad, stop. |
| (Steven goes to open one of the boxes and finds several flyers, similar to Steven's. He takes one out and it reads "Vote for My Dad" with a drawing of Buck and Mayor Dewey holding hands.) | |
| Steven | What's this? |
| Mayor Dewey | What have you got there? *takes the flyer* Aww... I haven't seen this in years. Remember when you drew this, Buck? You couldn't wait to show it off to all your li'l Montessori friends. |
| Buck | Okay, dad. Thanks for all your help, see ya later, bye. *starts pushing Mayor Dewey out* |
| Mayor Dewey | Alright, kids. I mean... "Peace in the Middle-East, Holmes." |
| Steven | *picks up another one of Buck's flyers* So cool. |
| Buck | *quickly grabs and crumples the flyer* Let's just get started already. |
| (Buck and Steven proceed to make multiple copies of T-shirts using the equipment Mayor Dewey provided, with Steven's "Guitar Dad" flyer printed on the T-shirts.) | |
| Buck | *admires one of the T-shirts* Swag. |
| Steven | Now everyone's gonna want lessons from Dad! |
| Buck | This is bigger than your dad, Steven. It's art. And it's gonna flood the public consciousness. *his visor sparkles* |
| Steven | Let's start handing them out. |
| Buck | Too simple. We need to get controversial. We need to create boom— a scene. |
| [Trans. Funland Arcade's Rooftop] | |
| (Steven is looking for victims to shoot their T-shirts at, through his binoculars, as Buck readies the T-Shirt Cannon.) | |
| Steven | Scanning for targets, T-Shirt Cannon loaded and ready. Beep, beep, beep-bibibibibi! *points at Sour Cream* Sour Cream sighted! |
| Sour Cream | *using his phone* Wom, wom. Wom, wom, wom. |
| Steven | Get ready... Take aim. |
| Buck | Aaand... *shoots the cannon* |
| Sour Cream | Wom, wom, wom-WOMP! *gets hit in the head by the T-shirt* What in the world? *picks up and examines the T-shirt* Oh. This is the coolest thing I've ever been hit in the head with! |
| Steven | Ronaldo spotted, take aim! |
| (Buck fires another T-shirt and it knocks Ronaldo's fedora off of his head. | |
| Ronaldo | WHOA! What the heck? Huh? *picks up the T-shirt* Whoa, weird! Some kind of extraterrestrial space dad guitar shirt? Sooo... You've finally decided to make first contact, huh? WHERE ARE YOU? |
| Steven | Lars sighted, take aim! |
| (Buck fires another T-shirt at Lars' head. | |
| Lars | YEOWCH! What the—?! *picks up the T-shirt* What is this garbage? *looks up and see Buck and Steven* Buck made this?! *starts laughing aloud* This is hilarious! Thaaanks Buuuck! |
| [Trans. Int. Fish Stew Pizza ] | |
| (Steven and Buck decide to take a break and eat pizzas together.) | |
| Steven | Cheers! *chomps his pizza slice* Buck, this was such a good idea! I don't know why we didn't collaborate on a project sooner. This'll make my dad so happy. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I stop by later. |
| Buck | *eating his pizza slice* Yeah... should be good for a laugh. |
| Steven | Huh? Why would it be good for— |
| Jenny | *enters Fish Stew Pizza, wearing the "Guitar Dad" T-shirt* Giiiirl! Check out my new shiiiiirt! |
| Kiki | It's really cute. Where'd you get it? |
| Jenny | I dunno, it just landed in front of me when I was out walking. |
| Kiki | Well, if I were you, I wouldn't wear some random shirt that just fell out of the sky. What if there were bugs in it? |
| Jenny | Re-lax! Who cares where it came from? This shirt is the funniest thing I've seen in my life! |
| Buck | Looks like our shirt has a really good buzz goin'. |
| Steven | Yeah, but... I think they think it's a joke. |
| Buck | Heh. The only thing that's important is that they're talking about it. That's how real art works. |
| Steven | Oh. Well, I guess you're right. |
| [Trans. Ext. It's A Wash] | |
| (Steven visits his Dad and sees Sour Cream taking a picture of Greg.) | |
| Greg | Uh... how's this? *poses* |
| Sour Cream | Haha, so bad. *takes picture* |
| Greg | Okay, let's get started with the first lesson! Have a seat and grab a— (Sour Cream walks off.) Where ya goin'? Oh, uh, I guess he's got an important text or something. |
| Steven | How's it been going today? |
| Greg | Really great! Lots of people have been coming by thanks to your t-shirts, little guy. |
| Steven | That's great, Dad. I'm really glad I can help... |
| Jenny | Yoohoo! Guitar Dad! *drives by* I just wanted to say I think you're wonderful and hilarious! *drives off* |
| Greg | Uh... thank you? Huh, that's kinda strange. |
| Steven | What is? |
| Greg | Well, lots of people have stopped by, but no one's taken a lesson yet. |
| Steven | *surprised* What?! Really?! |
| Greg | Ah, maybe they're just checking out the scene before they come back to get a REAL lesson. *starts playing his guitar* |
| [Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse] | |
| (Buck is printing more "Guitar Dad" T-shirts in the warehouse.) | |
| Steven | Buck! *runs in* |
| Buck | Hey, there's my main man. |
| Steven | The shirts aren't working, Buck! |
| Buck | Yeah they are, *picks up a t-shirt* people love' em. |
| Steven | But... nobody wants guitar lessons from my dad! |
| Buck | That's not the point. |
| Steven | What?! Then, what is the point? |
| Buck | The point is, it's an amazing shirt. |
| Steven | *blushes* Aww, my drawing's not that good, ahaha. |
| Buck | Yeah, no. It's terrible. |
| Steven | What?! |
| Buck | That's what's so great about it. Your work is so naive. You really love your dad. It's funny. |
| Steven | I... I don't wanna make these shirts anymore. |
| Buck | Too bad, Steven, it's so current, you can't stop it. I'm a taste maker, and I'm gonna keep making tastes... forever. |
| Steven | "Forever"? *gets nervous* |
| Buck | Well, forever after I go to my dad's lame bench commemoration... peace. *holds a peace sign above his head and walks away* |
| [Trans. Int. Beach House] | |
| (Steven runs back to his house and bursts through the door.) | |
| Steven | Garnet! Pearl! Amethyst! |
| (All the Gems stand up in high alert.) | |
| Garnet | Steven. |
| Pearl | What is it?! |
| Amethyst | Whoa, where's the fire?! |
| Steven | It's an emergency! You have to help me get rid of all the shirts and stop Buck from making more! |
| Pearl | Have the shirts come to life and possessed the bodies of their wearers?! |
| Steven | No! They just- |
| Amethyst | Are people catching on fire when they put on the magic shirts? |
| Steven | No, no, they're just- |
| Pearl | *spewing saliva while speaking in panic* Are the shirts destroying the wearer's will to continue on in this mortal coil, thereby shutting down Beach City?! |
| Steven | NO!! They're... *sighs* They're just... using my art in a way I don't agree with. |
| Pearl | Oh. |
| (All the Gems sit back down on the couch.) | |
| Garnet | *adjusts her visor* Eh, we'll pass. |
| Steven | What?! But... But I really need your help. |
| Pearl | Steven, this sounds like a very abstract problem. |
| Amethyst | It's not something we can punch. *punches her own palm* |
| Garnet | You MUST learn to help yourself. That's how you become stronger. *her visor sparkles* |
| Amethyst | Good point, good point. *nods* |
| Pearl | Absolutely. |
| Steven | But...! |
| Amethyst | *starts getting annoyed* Figure something OUT, Steven! |
| Pearl | Yes! Why not dust off those conflict resolution skills? |
| Garnet | Let your problem be known. Then you can work towards an understanding. |
| Steven | *thinks of an idea and speaks eerily* Oh, I'll make them understand. *walks out* I'll make them all understand! |
| (The Gems are mildly surprised.) | |
| Amethyst | Eh, he'll be fine. |
| [Trans. Beach City Boardwalk] | |
| (Several citizens are gathered around Mayor Dewey near a bench.) | |
| Mayor Dewey | Okay, is everyone here? *blushes and clears his throat* Hello! I was supposed to write a speech to uhm... *adjusts his neck tie* Uh... commemorate this... uh... new bench! But what had happened was I ran out of printer ink in my printer, that I keep at home! |
| (Steven, wearing sunglasses, appears on the roof of the Funland Arcade. He opens a guitar case and takes out a T-Shirt Cannon. He loads it and takes aim towards Mayor Dewey like a sniper.) | |
| Mayor Dewey | So, I went to the store and wouldn't you know it? They didn't carry the brand I was looking for, so- |
| Steven | *whispering* Bye. |
| Mayor Dewey | -I called up a buddy of mine who owed me a... |
| (Everything turns into slow motion as Steven fires a T-shirt at Mayor Dewey.) | |
| Mayor Dewey (Slow motion) | ...few political favors, and he wasn't home! |
| Bodyguard #1 (Slow motion) | *spots the T-shirt projectile* Look out! *drops his sandwich and runs away* |
| Mayor Dewey (Slow motion) | No! |
| Bodyguard #2 (Slow motion) | Aaaah! *runs away* |
| (Mayor Dewey gets hit in the chest by the T-shirt and falls backwards onto the bench. Everything returns back to normal speed, as the crowd goes wild and runs in several directions.) | |
| Mayor Dewey | I've been... shirt. |
| (Steven fires more T-shirts into the crowd. Buck sees everyone running and picks up a T-shirt, noticing that they all have his "Vote for My Dad" drawing printed on them. Steven then slowly backs away into the shadows, smiling.) | |
| Mayor Dewey | Buck... *looking at a T-shirt, feeling touched* Did you make this? |
| (Buck is speechless. He looks over and sees Sour Cream and Jenny looking at the T-shirts too.) | |
| Jenny | Ahahaha! This shirt is genius! *laughs with Sour Cream* This is way funnier than "Guitar Dad"! |
| Lars | Ahahahahahaha, ohoho! *holds a T-shirt, laughing aloud* |
| Mayor Dewey | *stops blushing and looks at the T-shirt* This bench is actually pretty comfortable. |
| (Buck sheds a tear under his visor.) | |
| [Trans. It's A Wash] | |
| (Steven meets up with Greg again at his car wash.) | |
| Steven | Anyone else stop by for lessons today? |
| Greg | So far, no, but I'm sure it'll pick up tomorrow. |
| Steven | Yeah! I'm sure it will. *hands Greg a T-shirt* Oh, this is for you by the way. This is the last one so it's super limited edition. |
| Greg | Aw, sweet! Thanks, Steven. |
| (Steven smiles.) | |
| Buck | Yo, Steven. *walks in* Just wanted to say uh... I'm sorry for what I did, and... uh... |
| Steven | It's okay, Buck. You don't have to say any more than that. |
| Buck | You're a cool cat, Steven Universe. *turns to Greg* Hey, Mr. U. |
| Greg | You wanna take a picture with me or some junk? |
| Buck | No way man. I want a lesson... from Guitar Dad! |
| (Buck lifts up his jacket and reveals a "Guitar Dad" shirt he is wearing. The star iris then zooms in on Buck's shirt, ending the episode.) | |
| [END] | |
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