| Speaker
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Dialogue
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| [Open Int. Beach House]
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| (Steven is drawing a flyer of Greg as "Guitar Dad" in his room with a pencil, and then making the final touches with a red marker.)
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| Steven
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*picks up the drawing and runs down the steps* PEARL! AMETHYST! GARNET! Uh-ah!
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| (Steven finds all the Gems are sitting on the couch in the living room.)
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| Pearl
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*reading a magazine* You don't have to yell, Steven, we're right here.
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| Steven
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I know, but I just finished this drawing, and I wanted to show it to you.
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| Pearl
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Oh! Uh... Of course.
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| Steven
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All right! *jumps on Garnet's lap and shows the Gems his flyer* Haha! "Guitar Dad teaches you guitar!"
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| Amethyst
|
What is that?
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| Steven
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It's my dad. He's going to start teaching guitar lessons and he made me his P.R. Department.
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| Amethyst
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*points at some crosses on Greg's mouth* What's that stuff in his mouth?
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| Steven
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Those are his teeth.
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| Pearl
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What are the lightning bolts for?
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| Steven
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Ugh... Well, ah... I was trying to show that Dad really rocks on the guitar, and...
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| Garnet
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*points at the flyer* Then there should be rocks falling out of the guitar.
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| Steven
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I hear what you're saying, but it's too late for notes... this is permanent marker.
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| [Trans. Int. Big Donut]
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| (Steven tapes the flyer on the billboard inside the Big Donut.)
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| Sadie
|
What's that cute flyer for, Steven?
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| Steven
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It's for my dad, he'll teach you guitar, you guys wanna sign up? My dad's really good.
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| Sadie
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Maybe I'll stop by and check it out.
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| Steven
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Here, lemme give you a flyer and—
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| (The door bell chimes and Buck enters.)
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| Sadie
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Welcome to the Big Donut.
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| Steven
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Hey, Buck.
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| Lars
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*surprised* Oh! W-what? *flaps his arms like a chicken* Buck, Buck, Buuuuuuuuck! Haha! *takes off his headphones* What's going on man? What can we get for you today?
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| Buck
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*looks at the menu, then at the donuts* Can I get a caprese salad?
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| Sadie
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Oh sorry, Buck. We only serve don-
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| Lars
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*barges in* DO-NUT worry, Buck! I'll whip ya up a salad, no sweat! *makes a thumb-up, sweating* I'll be right back. *runs into the break room*
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| Sadie
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Lars! We don't even have vegetables here! *runs after Lars*
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| Buck
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*looks at Steven's flyer* Heh, what's a "guitar dad"?
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| Steven
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Like my flyer? It's for my dad. *pretends to play a guitar* He'll teach you guitar! Here, take one of these with you. Actually, just wear it. *tapes a flyer onto Buck's shirt*
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| (Buck starts laughing uncontrollably.)
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| Steven
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Are you ticklish?
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| Buck
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This would make a rad shirt, man.
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| Steven
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Really?
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| Buck
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Yeah, let's make your flyer into T-shirts.
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| Steven
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Oh man, my dad would love that!
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| Buck
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Gimme five on it. *holds out his hand*
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| (Steven swings his hand too hard and misses Buck's hand.)
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| Buck
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Oh, you missed.
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| [Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse]
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| (Steven and Buck meet up with Mayor Dewey, who is unloading several boxes of campaign supplies from his van in the warehouse.)
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| Mayor Dewey
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Ho! I think it's swell you're returning to the family business, son. Gonna help the old man get re-elected again, eh? *hugs Buck and pats his head* Aww, son!
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| Buck
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*breaks free* Ugh! It's not for campaign stuff, dad. Steven and I are making art.
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| Steven
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*gasps* Art!
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| Mayor Dewey
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Art, huh? I don't understand it myself, but a boy's gotta have interests and ambitions. *slaps Buck hard on the back, causing his visor to fall off* WOAH-HO-HO-HO!
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| Steven
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*looks around at the supplies and equipment* This stuff can be used to make t-shirts?
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| Mayor Dewey
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Oh yeah, I've got all the latest, state of the art screen-printing equipment from years of campaigning. And other some such, mayorly things. Like this week, I'm commemorating... a bench!
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| (Mayor Dewey shows the boys a banner of "Bench City", which is just a banner that reads "Welcome to Beach City", with a "N" written onto the "A" with a marker.)
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| Steven
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"Welcome to... Bench City"? Thrifty!
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| Buck
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*moans* Dad, you can't use this.
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| Mayor Dewey
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Why not? You know I "gotta gank dat youth vote, boi"! *tries to do cool poses*
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| Buck
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Dad, stop.
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| (Steven goes to open one of the boxes and finds several flyers, similar to Steven's. He takes one out and it reads "Vote for My Dad" with a drawing of Buck and Mayor Dewey holding hands.)
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| Steven
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What's this?
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| Mayor Dewey
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What have you got there? *takes the flyer* Aww... I haven't seen this in years. Remember when you drew this, Buck? You couldn't wait to show it off to all your li'l Montessori friends.
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| Buck
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Okay, dad. Thanks for all your help, see ya later, bye. *starts pushing Mayor Dewey out*
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| Mayor Dewey
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Alright, kids. I mean... "Peace in the Middle-East, Holmes."
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| Steven
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*picks up another one of Buck's flyers* So cool.
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| Buck
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*quickly grabs and crumples the flyer* Let's just get started already.
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| (Buck and Steven proceed to make multiple copies of T-shirts using the equipment Mayor Dewey provided, with Steven's "Guitar Dad" flyer printed on the T-shirts.)
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| Buck
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*admires one of the T-shirts* Swag.
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| Steven
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Now everyone's gonna want lessons from Dad!
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| Buck
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This is bigger than your dad, Steven. It's art. And it's gonna flood the public consciousness. *his visor sparkles*
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| Steven
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Let's start handing them out.
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| Buck
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Too simple. We need to get controversial. We need to create boom— a scene.
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| [Trans. Funland Arcade's Rooftop]
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| (Steven is looking for victims to shoot their T-shirts at, through his binoculars, as Buck readies the T-Shirt Cannon.)
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| Steven
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Scanning for targets, T-Shirt Cannon loaded and ready. Beep, beep, beep-bibibibibi! *points at Sour Cream* Sour Cream sighted!
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| Sour Cream
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*using his phone* Wom, wom. Wom, wom, wom.
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| Steven
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Get ready... Take aim.
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| Buck
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Aaand... *shoots the cannon*
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| Sour Cream
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Wom, wom, wom- WOMP! *gets hit in the head by the T-shirt* What in the world? *picks up and examines the T-shirt* Oh. This is the coolest thing I've ever been hit in the head with!
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| Steven
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Ronaldo spotted, take aim!
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| (Buck fires another T-shirt and it knocks Ronaldo's fedora off of his head.)
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| Ronaldo
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WHOA! What the heck? Huh? *picks up the T-shirt* Whoa, weird! Some kind of extraterrestrial space dad guitar shirt? Sooo... You've finally decided to make first contact, huh? WHERE ARE YOU?!
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| Steven
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Lars sighted, take aim!
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| (Buck fires another T-shirt at Lars' head.)
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| Lars
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YEOWCH! What the—?! *picks up the T-shirt* What is this garbage? *looks up and see Buck and Steven* Buck made this?! *starts laughing aloud* This is hilarious! Thaaanks Buuuck!
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| [Trans. Int. Fish Stew Pizza ]
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| (Steven and Buck decide to take a break and eat pizzas together.)
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| Steven
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Cheers! *chomps his pizza slice* Buck, this was such a good idea! I don't know why we didn't collaborate on a project sooner. This'll make my dad so happy. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I stop by later.
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| Buck
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*eating his pizza slice* Yeah... should be good for a laugh.
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| Steven
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Huh? Why would it be good for—
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| Jenny
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*enters Fish Stew Pizza, wearing the "Guitar Dad" T-shirt* Giiiirl! Check out my new shiiiiirt!
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| Kiki
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It's really cute. Where'd you get it?
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| Jenny
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I dunno, it just landed in front of me when I was out walking.
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| Kiki
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Well, if I were you, I wouldn't wear some random shirt that just fell out of the sky. What if there were bugs in it?
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| Jenny
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Re-lax! Who cares where it came from? This shirt is the funniest thing I've seen in my life!
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| Buck
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Looks like our shirt has a really good buzz goin'.
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| Steven
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Yeah, but... I think they think it's a joke.
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| Buck
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Heh. The only thing that's important is that they're talking about it. That's how real art works.
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| Steven
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Oh. Well, I guess you're right.
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| [Trans. Ext. It's A Wash]
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| (Steven visits his Dad and sees Sour Cream taking a picture of Greg.)
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| Greg
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Uh... how's this? *poses*
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| Sour Cream
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Haha, so bad. *takes picture*
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| Greg
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Okay, let's get started with the first lesson! Have a seat and grab a— (Sour Cream walks off.) Where ya goin'? Oh, uh, I guess he's got an important text or something.
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| Steven
|
How's it been going today?
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| Greg
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Really great! Lots of people have been coming by thanks to your t-shirts, little guy.
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| Steven
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That's great, Dad. I'm really glad I can help...
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| Jenny
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Yoohoo! Guitar Dad! *drives by* I just wanted to say I think you're wonderful and hilarious! *drives off*
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| Greg
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Uh... thank you? Huh, that's kinda strange.
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| Steven
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What is?
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| Greg
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Well, lots of people have stopped by, but no one's taken a lesson yet.
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| Steven
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*surprised* What?! Really?!
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| Greg
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Ah, maybe they're just checking out the scene before they come back to get a REAL lesson. *starts playing his guitar*
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| [Trans. Int. Abandoned Warehouse]
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| (Buck is printing more "Guitar Dad" T-shirts in the warehouse.)
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| Steven
|
Buck! *runs in*
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| Buck
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Hey, there's my main man.
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| Steven
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The shirts aren't working, Buck!
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| Buck
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Yeah they are, *picks up a t-shirt* people love' em.
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| Steven
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But... nobody wants guitar lessons from my dad!
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| Buck
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That's not the point.
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| Steven
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What?! Then, what is the point?
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| Buck
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The point is, it's an amazing shirt.
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| Steven
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*blushes* Aww, my drawing's not that good, ahaha.
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| Buck
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Yeah, no. It's terrible.
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| Steven
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What?!
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| Buck
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That's what's so great about it. Your work is so naive. You really love your dad. It's funny.
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| Steven
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I... I don't wanna make these shirts anymore.
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| Buck
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Too bad, Steven, it's so current, you can't stop it. I'm a taste maker, and I'm gonna keep making tastes... forever.
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| Steven
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"Forever"? *gets nervous*
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| Buck
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Well, forever after I go to my dad's lame bench commemoration... peace. *holds a peace sign above his head and walks away*
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| [Trans. Int. Beach House]
|
| (Steven runs back to his house and bursts through the door.)
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| Steven
|
Garnet! Pearl! Amethyst!
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| (All the Gems stand up in high alert.)
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| Garnet
|
Steven.
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| Pearl
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What is it?!
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| Amethyst
|
Whoa, where's the fire?!
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| Steven
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It's an emergency! You have to help me get rid of all the shirts and stop Buck from making more!
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| Pearl
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Have the shirts come to life and possessed the bodies of their wearers?!
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| Steven
|
No! They just-
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| Amethyst
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Are people catching on fire when they put on the magic shirts?
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| Steven
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No, no, they're just-
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| Pearl
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*spewing saliva while speaking in panic* Are the shirts destroying the wearer's will to continue on in this mortal coil, thereby shutting down BEACH CITY?!?
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| Steven
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NO!! They're... *sighs* They're just... using my art in a way I don't agree with.
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| Pearl
|
Oh.
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| (All the Gems sit back down on the couch.)
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| Garnet
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*adjusts her visor* Eh, we'll pass.
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| Steven
|
What?! But... But I really need your help.
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| Pearl
|
Steven, this sounds like a very abstract problem.
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| Amethyst
|
It's not something we can punch. *punches her own palm*
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| Garnet
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You must learn to help yourself. That's how you become stronger. *her visor sparkles*
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| Amethyst
|
Good point, good point. *nods*
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| Pearl
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Absolutely.
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| Steven
|
But...!
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| Amethyst
|
*starts getting annoyed* Figure something OUT, Steven!
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| Pearl
|
Yes! Why not dust off those conflict resolution skills?
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| Garnet
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Let your problem be known. Then you can work towards an understanding.
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| Steven
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*thinks of an idea and speaks eerily* Oh, I'll make them understand. *walks out* I'll make them all understand!
|
| (The Gems are mildly surprised.)
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| Amethyst
|
Eh, he'll be fine.
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| [Trans. Beach City Boardwalk]
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| (Several citizens are gathered around Mayor Dewey near a bench.)
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| Mayor Dewey
|
Okay, is everyone here? *blushes and clears his throat* Hello! I was supposed to write a speech to uhm... *adjusts his neck tie* Uh... commemorate this... uh... new bench! But what had happened was I ran out of printer ink in my printer, that I keep at home!
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| (Steven, wearing sunglasses, appears on the roof of the Funland Arcade. He opens a guitar case and takes out a T-Shirt Cannon. He loads it and takes aim towards Mayor Dewey like a sniper.)
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| Mayor Dewey
|
So, I went to the store and wouldn't you know it? They didn't carry the brand I was looking for, so-
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| Steven
|
*whispering* Bye.
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| Mayor Dewey
|
-I called up a buddy of mine who owed me a...
|
| (Everything turns into slow motion as Steven fires a T-shirt at Mayor Dewey.)
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| Mayor Dewey (Slow motion)
|
...few political favors, and he wasn't home!
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| Bodyguard #1 (Slow motion)
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*spots the T-shirt projectile* Look out! *drops his sandwich and runs away*
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| Mayor Dewey (Slow motion)
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No!
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| Bodyguard #2 (Slow motion)
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Aaaah! *runs away*
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| (Mayor Dewey gets hit in the chest by the T-shirt and falls backwards onto the bench. Everything returns back to normal speed, as the crowd goes wild and runs in several directions.)
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| Mayor Dewey
|
I've been... shirt.
|
| (Steven fires more T-shirts into the crowd. Buck sees everyone running and picks up a T-shirt, noticing that they all have his "Vote for My Dad" drawing printed on them. Steven then slowly backs away into the shadows, smiling.)
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| Mayor Dewey
|
Buck... *looking at a T-shirt, feeling touched* Did you make this?
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| (Buck is speechless. He looks over and sees Sour Cream and Jenny looking at the T-shirts too.)
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| Jenny
|
Ahahaha! This shirt is genius! *laughs with Sour Cream* This is way funnier than "Guitar Dad"!
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| Lars
|
Ahahahahahaha, ohoho! *holds a T-shirt, laughing aloud*
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| Mayor Dewey
|
*stops blushing and looks at the T-shirt* This bench is actually pretty comfortable.
|
| (Buck sheds a tear under his visor.)
|
| [Trans. It's A Wash]
|
| (Steven meets up with Greg again at his car wash.)
|
| Steven
|
Anyone else stop by for lessons today?
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| Greg
|
So far, no, but I'm sure it'll pick up tomorrow.
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| Steven
|
Yeah! I'm sure it will. *hands Greg a T-shirt* Oh, this is for you by the way. This is the last one so it's super limited edition.
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| Greg
|
Aw, sweet! Thanks, Steven.
|
| (Steven smiles.)
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| Buck
|
Yo, Steven. *walks in* Just wanted to say uh... I'm sorry for what I did, and... uh...
|
| Steven
|
It's okay, Buck. You don't have to say any more than that.
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| Buck
|
You're a cool cat, Steven Universe. *turns to Greg* Hey, Mr. U.
|
| Greg
|
You wanna take a picture with me or some junk?
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| Buck
|
No way man. I want a lesson... from Guitar Dad!
|
| (Buck lifts up his jacket and reveals a "Guitar Dad" shirt he is wearing. The star iris then zooms in on Buck's shirt, ending the episode.)
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| [END]
|
