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This is a transcribed copy of "Steven the Sword Fighter". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Onion Trade" Next: "Lion 2: The Movie"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. Beach House]
(It is raining, outside. Lion is lying outside under the porch of the house, he yawns and takes a nap.)
[Trans. Int. Steven's Room]
(Steven and the Crystal Gems are sitting inside Steven's bedroom and eating popcorn, watching Lonely Blade IV in Japanese with English subtitles. On the TV screen, two characters confront each other.)
Lonely Blade *in Japanese* It was you! You were the one who killed my brother. Cursing me to fight alone forever!
Steven *is laying belly-down on top of Garnet's hair* * Oh Lonely Blade, you so lonely.
Samurai President *in Japanese* You think you can defeat me? The President of the Shadow Samurai Government?! *unsheathes a hidden sword in his mop*
Steven What?! The janitor is the evil samurai president?! That's bananas!
Pearl Oh come on, it was so obvious. He's been mopping in the background of every fight scene. *shows Steven the movie cover box* Look, here he is on the cover of the box.
Steven Oh yeah.
Lonely Blade *in Japanese* For my honor and for my brother! I will strike you down! *unsheathes and joins two swords together* Boomerang Blade! *throws the combined swords*
Samurai President *leaps upwards and thrust down* Piercing Shadow of a Thousand... Screams!
Steven *cheers* Go, Lonely, go! Do the Boomerang Blade again!
Pearl Oh come on, this is ridiculous. Just look at their form, this is nothing like real sword fighting. (Garnet and Amethyst shushes her.)
Steven *laughs* It's just a movie, Pearl. *eats a handful of popcorn*
Pearl Well, if you ever want to see a demonstration of proper sword techniques, I'd be happy to show you. (Steven puts his hand on Pearl's head, staring excitedly.) Now?
[Trans. Pearl's Arena]
(The Crystal Gems move a large open area with tiled ground and marble obelisks lining both sides of the area. The place is surrounded by low hanging clouds.)
Pearl *holding two swords* Alright, in order to give a proper demonstration I'm going to need a sparring partner. (Steven tries to raise his hand and Garnet immediately lowers it.) Luckily, I have the perfect candidate right here. *does a short ballet and summons a Holo-Pearl with her gem*
Steven Cooool! Hologram Pearl!
Amethyst *lying on a small cloud* Ah, geez.
Holo-Pearl Do you wish to engage in combat?
Pearl Let this be the perfect battle. *throws a sword at Holo-Pearl*
Holo-Pearl *catches the sword* You've already made a mistake by challenging me!
Pearl *laughs* We shall let our swords decide.
Amethyst Nerd! (Garnet and Steven shush her.)
Holo-Pearl *eyes redden* Commencing duel. *lunges towards Pearl*
(Pearl parries several of the Holo-Pearl's attacks.)
Holo-Pearl Defense rank S. Zero openings detected.
Steven *cheers* Go, Pearl, go!
Amethyst Go Holo-Pearl!
(Distracted by Amethyst's mockery, Pearl gets disarmed by Holo-Pearl.)
Holo-Pearl Opening detected. *does a sword sweep attack*
(Pearl slides underneath Holo-Pearl's attack and towards her sword. Holo-Pearl then does an aerial lunge at Pearl, which she skillfully parries, leaving it vulnerable in mid-air. Pearl then stabs Holo-Pearl and defeats it.)
Holo-Pearl Match set. Challenger wins!
Steven Woohoo! Yay, Pearl! *runs towards Pearl*
Holo-Pearl Do you wish to battle again?
Steven Pearl! *runs around Pearl* That was amazing, you were so cool!
Pearl *blushes and chuckles* Oh-hoho, well, one does try their best.
Steven *excitedly* Will you teach me to sword fight like you?! *pretends to swing a sword*
Pearl *laughs* Alright, but we should start with the basics. *turns to Holo-Pearl* Ahem! Initiate, training mode.
Holo-Pearl *gets up* Training mode initiated. Level 1. Begin! *takes a stance*
Pearl I want you to stand back Steven, and watch me carefully, okay?
Holo-Pearl *begins sparring with Pearl* Parry! Parry! Thrust! Parry! Parry! Thrust! *continuously chants in the background*
Pearl Do you see what I'm doing with my feet, Steven? Notice where I keep my center of gravity.
Steven *quickly loses interest* Aww, can you show me something cool? Like the Boomerang Blade!
Pearl Steven, you know that's not a real sword technique.
Steven *chanting* Boomerang Blade! Boomerang Blade! Boomerang Blade!
Pearl *turns to Steven, annoyed* Steven, these are real sword techniques. Not those silly things from your movies. It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to str-
(Distracted, Pearl is suddenly stabbed by Holo-Pearl "thrust".)
Steven *gasps*
Amethyst Woah.
Garnet Oh no.
(Pearl drops her sword, which hits the ground with a loud clang.)
Steven *tears up* ...Pearl?
Pearl *sees the sword impaled through her and chuckles nervously* W-whoopsie-daisy! Steven, it's okay. I'm gonna be just f-
(Pearl suddenly poofs into a white cloud, leaving just her gemstone, as it falls to the ground.
Steven NOOOOOO! *slides to Pearl's gemstone and picks it up* P-Pearl? Pearl...
Holo-Pearl Challenger defeated. Level 1 failed!
Garnet & Amethyst Steven! *rush to Steven's side*
Steven *crying* I.... I-I was just... a-aand she was trying to-
Amethyst *puts her hand on his back* Steven, it's okay, Pearl's gonna be just fine.
Steven *turns to Garnet* Whaddya mean?
Garnet Sometimes, if our bodies are badly damaged, we release our physical forms and retreat to our gems to regenerate.
Steven So she's gonna be okay? (Garnet nods.)
Amethyst *sits down* Don't worry, bud. These kinds of things just happen sometimes. Usually to me.
Garnet Always to you.
Amethyst Hey, I'm scrappy. Whaddya want?
Steven *laughs* So, how long will it take her to regenerate? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? (Garnet and Amethyst frown.)
[Time Skip — Two weeks later]
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Steven places Pearl's gem in a hand basket and places it under a lamp, hoping to incubate it.)
Steven *sighs* What's taking so long?
(Garnet and Amethyst warp in on the Warp Pad. Amethyst is still riding atop the small cloud.)
Amethyst Whadup?
Steven *depressed* Heeey.
Amethyst *floats over* She's still not done? Man, she's really taking her time with this one. Gotta tell you though, love what you've done with the place.
(Steven and Amethyst observe the messy state of the house, with trash everywhere, things lying carelessly on the ground, and dishes piled up in the kitchen. Garnet returns back to her room in the background.)
Steven Pearl usually helps me tidy up.
Amethyst Eh, I say leave it.
Steven Hey! If real Pearl can't be here, there's always the next best thing!
(Steven runs to unravels a blanket hiding a figure in the corner of the room, revealing it to be Holo-Pearl, holding a sword.
Holo-Pearl Do you wish to engage in combat?
Amethyst Steven. *sighs* Cover that thing back up.
Steven But it's like Pearl. Look at it.
Amethyst Yeahhh... That ain't Pearl.
Steven Well, maybe I can get it to act like her.
[Trans. Steven's Room]
(Steven shows Holo-Pearl his room, which is as messy as the rest of the house.)
Steven Here we have, a mess. Organizing messes is one of Pearl's favorite hobbies. Here. *bends down and picks up various figurines* Pearl likes to organize them by type. Animal, humanoid, miscellaneous. Now you try. *picks up a figurine with a sword prop*
Holo-Pearl *switches to combat mode* You've drawn your sword in vain!
Steven What?! Aah!
(Holo-Pearl thrusts forwards, which Steven quickly ducks under, and stabs the toy Steven was holding.)
Holo-Pearl Challenger defeated. *switches to stand-by mode*
Steven *sighs* Maybe we need to try something else.
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
(Garnet and Amethyst are standing on the beach, as Steven and Holo-Pearl watch from a distance. Amethyst holds the cloud, all clumped up in her hands.)
Amethyst I'm gonna do it.
Garnet Go on then.
(Amethyst stuffs the cloud into her mouth and swallows it, causing her to inflate like a balloon and float upwards. Garnet grabs Amethyst's legs before she floats off.)
Steven *laughs* Pearl always likes to tease Amethyst when she does funny stuff like this.
Holo-Pearl *holding an umbrella* I won't go easy on you this time!
Steven That's the spirit! *walks over to Garnet and Amethyst* What are you rascals doing over here?
Holo-Pearl Draw your weapon, challenger! *points the umbrella like a sword and opens it*
Amethyst Ugh, Steven, why are you still hanging out with that thing? It's gross. *burps out a piece of cloud*
Steven I just really miss spending time with Pearl.
Garnet Pearl will come back to us in time, Steven, have patience. ... And stop hanging out with that thing. It's creepy.
(Garnet crosses her arms, accidentally letting go of Amethyst. Amethyst then quickly floats into the sky.
Amethyst Wh-o-o-o-oa!
Garnet Hmm...
[Trans. Pearl's Tree]
(Holo-Pearl and Steven stand atop the hill with Pearl's tree, Steven is holding a stuffed walrus toy and Holo-Pearl is holding a balloon sword, wearing a balloon crown.)
Steven You had fun at the boardwalk, right?
Holo-Pearl Parry!
Steven Oh come on, you gotta work with me here. This is Pearl's favorite tree. Don't you recognize it? What's on your mind? Come on, don't hold back.
Holo-Pearl *switches to combat mode* Challenge accepted!
Steven What?!
(Holo-Pearl quickly swings the balloon sword, which Steven ducks under, and slices the tree clean in half .)
Steven Oh no, the tree!
Holo-Pearl Challenger defeated. *switches back to stand-by mode*
Steven Real Pearl would never do that! Grr, you're hopeless! Get away from me! *runs off*
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Rain and lighting belt down once more. Steven watches the downpour through the window while talking to Pearl's gem, nestled in a blanket beside him.)
Steven It's too bad you're still not back, Pearl. *holds up a movie cover box* Because I just found a copy of the fifth Lonely Blade movie! ... *sighs* How long are you gonna make me wait, Pearl? (A beeping sound go off in the background.) Oh, the popcorn's done, stay right there.
(Steven goes to the kitchen and takes out a bag of popcorn from the microwave. Holo-Pearl suddenly appears behind him, shocking Steven.)
Holo-Pearl Do you wish to test your skills against me in a duel?
Steven No! No sword fighting!
(Steven makes his way up to his bedroom, when lightning flashes, and Holo-Pearl appears behind him again.)
Holo-Pearl Draw your sword and fulfill your destiny!
Steven No! Leave real Pearl and me alone! *tosses a blanket over Holo-Pearl* Go back under your sheet.
(Steven watches the fifth movie of Lonely Blade with Pearl's gem, this time dubbed in English.)
Lonely Blade Brother, is that you?
Lonely Blade's Brother *as a zombie* Yes. It's me. Your... brother. Your technique is... *audio plays on in the background*
Steven Woah, this dub is really good. What do you think, Pearl?
Holo-Pearl *appears suddenly, still under the blanket, pierces through it with her sword* Parry!
Steven *startled* Gah! Grr... *continues to watch the movie*
Lonely Blade's Brother Brother!!
Lonely Blade Just wait a minute... you're not my real brother! Grr, Boomerang Blade! *unsheathes his swords*
Lonely Blade's Brother Your technique is impressive. But it won't be enough.
(Steven begins to think back at the moment Pearl was struck down.)
Pearl It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to str-
[End Flashback]
(Steven eyes are shut tightly with tears forming, when Holo-Pearl suddenly attacks the TV.)
Holo-Pearl Thrust!
Steven Ah, the TV! Why must you destroy the things I love?
Holo-Pearl Challenger defeated. Continue?
Steven I hate you, I HATE YOU! You're nothing like Pearl! Pearl is smart, and she always wants to protect me from danger. All you want to do is FIGHT ME!
Holo-Pearl Challenge accepted!
Steven Grr, alright fine! *shoves Holo-Pearl*
Holo-Pearl Basic attack mode, initiated. *starts sparring* Parry! Parry! Thrust! Parry! Parry! Thrust! Parry! Parry! Thrust!
Steven Stop saying that! *picks up nearby toys and throws them at Holo-Pearl, landing a single hit*
Holo-Pearl Basic attack mode defeated. Now initiating advanced mode! *eyes redden*
(Holo-Pearl quickly shreds the blanket over it and attacks Steven, forcing him to retreat.)
Steven *picks up the toy walrus* Walrus shield! (The walrus toy gets decapitated. by Holo-Pearl.) Ah! *searches for another item* Snacks, pillow, fuzzy flower, boomerang? ...Boomerang! *throws the boomerang, which promptly flies around Holo-Pearl and back to his hand* Ah!
(Steven retreats into the kitchen while dodging Holo-Pearl's attacks. He grabs and wields a nearby mop. Holo-Pearl quickly chops the mop short and unleashes a flurry of attacks at Steven.)
Steven *dodging the attacks* Pearl! I should have just ... waited for you to come back. I should've waited for- (Holo-Pearl raises its sword above its head, revealing an opening.) The perfect moment! Boomerang Blade! (Steven launches the mop at Holo-Pearl, striking it in the torso, and finally defeating it.)
Holo-Pearl Challenger wins. Do you wish to duel again?
Steven NOOOO!
(Steven grabs the mop stuck in Holo-Pearl and begins swatting it away, dissolving its form. Garnet and Amethyst, still inflated, enter from outside.)
Garnet Steven, we heard fighting. *pulls Amethyst in like a balloon*
Amethyst Ow. Are you alright? What's going on?
Steven Oh, just moppin'. (The hologram begins to regenerate, and Steven swats at it.) DIE! You know, I might miss Pearl a whole lot, but, sometimes you just have to accept things the way they are before you-
(Just then, Pearl's gem begin to glow inside Steven's bedroom. It hovers into the air as Pearl begins to regenerate, sporting a slightly different outfit from before.)
Steven Never mind! Pearl's back!
Pearl Ah... That's much better. (Steven runs over to hug her.) Oof, hey, miss me much?
Steven Ah man, I had this whole thing planned out for when you came back! *runs off*
Pearl *notices the messy state of the house* Uh, Steven. What happened to your room? *sees the inflated Amethyst* I don't even want to know what happened to you.
Amethyst I got hit by an airplane!
(Steven returns, with his shirt tied around his head, using a pot and a wooden spoon like a drum.)
Steven *chanting* Pearl's back! Pearl's back! Pearl's back!
Pearl Steven, what are you doing?
(Steven continues to chant as Amethyst burps out more of the cloud. The star iris starts to zoom in on Pearl's face.)
Pearl Ughh... I can't leave you guys alone for a second.
Steven *pops in* Pearl's back!

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus