Speaker
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Dialogue
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[Open Ext. It's A Wash]
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(It is raining outside. Steven and Greg are having a jam session inside Greg's van, parked outside the car wash.
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Steven
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Woo! Go Dad!
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Greg
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See? What'd I tell you? I may be losing my hair but the magic's still there.
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(Greg drinks from a can of soda as a photo, that was stuck to the bottom of the can, falls off.)
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Greg
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Hmm?
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Steven
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*catches the photo* Who's with you in this old picture?
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Greg
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Haha. That's my pal Marty.
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Steven
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You've never told me about him.
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Greg
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Yeah he's just an old amigo from way back when... *smiles* He's dead to me.
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Steven
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Who was he?
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Greg
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*tunes his guitar* He was my manager back when I first met your mom. I've told that whole story haven't I?
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Steven
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Not the version with Marty...
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Greg
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Yeesh, well then it's story time. Sit back, get comfy! (Steven lays down on a mattress.) I didn't mean that comfy...
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Steven
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*excitedly* Story for Steven!
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Greg
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Okay, okay... This is the tale of how your father met your mother... Now including Marty.
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(Greg starts playing his guitar, as he retells the tale to Steven, setting a flashback.)
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(The tale begins with a younger Greg, holding a solo concert on the beach of Beach City, playing and singing "Comet".)
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Greg
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♫ Some... say I have no direction, / that I'm a light-speed distraction, / but that's a knee-jerk reaction / Still... this is the final frontier, / everything is so clear, / to my destiny I steer. / This life in the stars is all I've ever known, / stars and stardust in infinite space is my only home. / But the moment that I hit the stage, / thousands of voices are calling my name. / And I know in my heart it's been worth it all of the while. / And as my albums fly off of the shelves, / handing out autographed pics of myself. / This life I chose isn't easy but sure is one heck of a ride. / At the moment that I hit the stage, / I hear the universe calling my name. / And I know deep down in my heart I have nothing to fear. / And as the solar wind blows through my hair, / knowing I have so much more left to share. / A wandering spirit who's tearing its way through the cold atmosphere. / I'll fly like a comet. / Soar like a comet. / Crash like a comet. / I'm just a comet. ♫
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(As Greg finishes his song, he finds only a single Rose attending his concert, clapping for him.)
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Greg
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Thanks for coming everybody, I'm Mr. Universe. If you like what you just heard go check out our merch table! My manager Marty can hook you up with CDs, and t-shirts - Oh, wait, he's not there... I guess I'm going over there now...
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(Greg walks and sits at his merchandise table. Rose approaches and picks up a CD.)
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Rose
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*reads the disc cover* "Space Train to the Cosmos"...
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Greg
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Yeah! ♫ One way ticket and I'm ready to ri~ide! ♫
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Rose
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*chuckles* How will you get back?
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Greg
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Back?
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Rose
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Back to Earth?
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Greg
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*leans on his chair* I'm NEVER coming back.
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Rose
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Oh! That's awful! This is your home.
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Greg
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Uhh... you want that? You can have it...
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Rose
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Hm?
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Greg
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Oh, and it comes with a free T-shirt! *pulls out a small "Mr. Universe" T-shirt* You'll probably need a bigger one... I've got an extra extra large in my van! Stay right there!
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(Greg opens the back door of his van, and Marty and Vidalia jump out.)
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Marty
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Star child! Meet Vidalia.
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Vidalia
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Nice van. *blows a bubblegum* Really livin' the high life.
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Marty
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So, how was the show?
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Greg
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It was great! One person showed up! Oh! I have to give her this free... T-shirt...
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(Greg grabs a XXL T-shirt from the van to give to Rose, but she is not around anymore.)
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Marty
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Greg! You can't give stuff away for free! What about my 75 percent? 75 percent of nothing is nothing. Are YOU worth nothing?
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Greg
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No...
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Marty
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That's right. I'm going to make us both rich. *leans forward to whisper into Greg's ear* And as far as these salt water saps know, we already are. *backs off and puts his arm around Vidalia* So let's live it up before we hit the road, alright? Next stop, Empire City!
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(Marty and Vidalia walk away.)
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Greg
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Y'know, I'll catch up with you...
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(Greg walks down the boardwalk, approaching a fence along the beach, with a sign that says 'KEEP OFF BEACH'. Below is a sign that reads 'Please' in neat cursive. Greg looks past the fence and sees part of the Crystal Temple.)
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Greg
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Maybe she's over there?
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(A purple owl perched on the fence hoos at Greg.)
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Greg
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*jokingly talks to the owl* Ah, just some giant mysterious lady with enormous pink hair. You haven't seen anyone like that around, have ya?
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Purple Owl
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Sure have, pal!
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Greg
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*gulps in surprise* W-where...?
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Purple Owl
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*chuckles and turns to Greg* Well, uh... If I told you any more I'd have to KILL YOU! *flexes her feathers menacingly* Hoo, hoo, hoahahaha! *flies towards the temple*
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Greg
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Hey! *climbs over the fence* WAIT! Hold on a sec- Whoa, oomph!
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(Greg falls over the top of the fence, landing on the other side, and starts chasing the purple owl. He follows her into the entrance of the temple, where he finds Pearl, with the purple owl perched on her arm.)
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Purple Owl
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This long-haired human was talking to me over by the fence!
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Pearl
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It spoke to you?
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Purple Owl
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He was asking about Rose. *turns her head 180°* Look, there he is!
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Greg
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Yo~
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(The purple owl takes off of Pearl's arm, hitting Pearl in the face with her wing.)
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Pearl
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Ugh, Amethyst, wait!
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(The purple owl shapeshifts back into normal, realizing to be Amethyst, whose appearance very reminiscent of a toddler's.)
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Amethyst
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It's YOU! *lands in front of Greg, scaring him* I've never seen this one around here before... *crawls around Greg* Aww... I really like your hair!
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(Amethyst crawls underneath Greg's hair and lifts up his shirt, causing him to blush. Pearl jumps over to pull Amethyst away, as Greg pulls down his shirt.)
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Pearl
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Amethyst! Leave him be! You don't know where he's been! *turns to Greg* I'm very sorry about this... umm... you.
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(The temple Warp Pad then glows and Garnet warps in, holding two bubbled gems in both hands.)
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Greg
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Woah...
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Garnet
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Pearl, Amethyst. *sends the bubbled gems away* You're with a human. *walks over*
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Amethyst
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*happily* He followed me over the fence!
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Pearl
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What should we do?
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(Garnet leans in on Greg and glares at him, reflecting his face on her visor.)
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Garnet
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State your purpose.
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Greg
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*nervously* Uhh... I was kinda looking for the mysterious pink lady. Kinda really tall... lots of big curly hair?
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Amethyst
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See, he's talking about Ro—mmphhh (Pearl puts her hand over Amethyst's mouth to muffle her.)
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Pearl
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*to Garnet* I don't know how to make him go away.
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Garnet
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I'll just throw him back over the fence.
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Greg
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Huh?
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(Garnet grabs Greg and lifts him over her head. Greg moans in protest as he's carried off.)
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Pearl
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Excellent idea! Humans should stay on the other side of the fence like the sign says.
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Greg
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Please! No throwing!
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Rose
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*shouts from behind* Wait!
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(The Gems turn around and see Rose, rushing out of the temple.)
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Rose
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Mr. Universe?
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Greg
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It's you. Whoa!- Ow!
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(Garnet drops Greg quickly and blushes. Rose then jumps forwards, lands gracefully in front of Greg, and offers her hands to him)
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Rose
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Are you alright?
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(Greg takes her hand, and the two exchange gazes at each other for a moment, until Pearl barges in.)
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Pearl
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You know this human?!
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Rose
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He was playing a concert on the beach, and I couldn't help myself.
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Greg
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No one can ignore the Universe. Oh! *holds out the XXL T-shirt* I brought you this. It's the free t-shirt that came with the free CD!
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Rose
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*takes the T-shirt* Why, thank you! (The other Gems crowd around Rose to look at the T-shirt. *whispers* His gimmick is space!
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(Pearl chuckles at Rose's comment.)
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Amethyst
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Hey, play something, music man!
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Garnet
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*summons her gauntlet* Better make it good.
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Greg
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Aw man, I'm working on this awesome new set, it's gonna kill at my next show! Next show... Aw jeez, what time is it?
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Pearl
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*looks up at the sky* Nnnight... time?
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Greg
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Yeah, Marty's probably looking for me. We're supposed to hit the road... Big show in a big city... and I didn't drop out of community college for nothing!
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Pearl
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What?
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Rose
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Well, you better hurry. You don't wanna miss your space train to the cosmos.
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Greg
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Okay! *begins to run off* I'll see you later! *pauses, turns back and shout to Rose* Uh, I hope the stars will align for us to meet again!
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Rose
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I'm sure they will!
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Amethyst
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Bye~ music man! *waves*
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(Greg waves back and leaves the area. Rose looks at the T-shirt, smiling, when an envious Pearl barges in.)
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Pearl
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I can sing!
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(Rose smiles, and Garnet and Amethyst begin to laugh.)
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Pearl
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*blushes* What?
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[Time Skip — Later that night]
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(It starts to rain, as Marty drives Greg's van, with Greg in the back, out of Beach City.)
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Marty
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Man, Greg, you really missed out. Vidalia's friends were wild and crazy. Glad that town wasn't a total waste.
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Greg
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I met some wild ladies too. They changed shape and appeared out of beams of light-
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Marty
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Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, save the poetry for Empire City, Star Child. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.
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Greg
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I'm serious, Marty. Something's goin' on back there.
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Marty
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Are you nuts? Just wait 'till you see what's ahead of us. It's FAME! *presses the 'Play' button on the car radio, but nothing happens* Hey, what's jammed in your tape deck? You been putting pennies in here, you weirdo? Play something for me, Star Child.
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Greg
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*obediently strums his guitar and begins to sing* ♫ Do you believe in destiny? / Close your eyes and leave the rest to me-
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Marty
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Snore! You're gonna put people to sleep with that. Where's the schlock coming from?
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Greg
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*blushes* I-I just can't stop thinking about that woman at the show.
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Marty
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Oh, here we go, how big was she?
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Greg
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Eight feet tall... massive hair...
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Marty
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See, Greg, this is your problem. You want one huge woman, when you could have multiple small ones.
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Greg
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Ugh, Marty, women are people.
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Marty
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Just follow my lead. I'm gonna get you everything you want.
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Greg
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What if I want to go back?
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Marty
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What?!
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Greg
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What if I want to go back and be with her?!
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Marty
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No one cares about your feelings, Greg! *turns to Greg in anger, letting go of the steering wheel* They're making you lose sight of what's really important!
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Greg
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WATCH THE ROAD!
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(Headlights become visible in the windshield of the car as a truck approaches. Marty quickly swerves the van out of the way and stops it beside a billboard.)
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Greg
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*breathing deeply* Why do you always decide what's important?
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Marty
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Because I'm your manager, and you're just some spaced out kid. I'm taking you to the city, and you're gonna play, and you're gonna like it. Maybe you'll even make me some money for once.
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Greg
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*starts to get angry* Get out of my van.
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Marty
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Sit down, Greg.
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Greg
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*yells* I said... GET OUTTA MY VAN!
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(Greg kicks Marty out of the van onto the rainy roadside, and drive off.)
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Marty
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What are you doing? You're making a HUGE mistake!
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(Greg, driving recklessly, drives back to Beach City and runs over the fence surrounding the Crystal Temple. He runs up to the temple entrance and knocks on the Temple Gate.)
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Greg
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Hey, are you in there? I can play for you now! I even revamped my awesome set!
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(Greg runs and jumps onto the warp pad, and prepares to play his guitar.)
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Greg
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This one's for you, mystery woman! *starts to sing "Destiny"* ♫ Do you believe in destiny? / Close your eyes and leave the rest to me. / Do you believe in fantasy? / I have to when it's right in front of me. / Oh, what are you doing here, / in the real world? / What are you doing here, / so close I could touch you. / What are you doing here, / And what are you doing to me?! ♫
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(A bright pink light shines upon Greg as the temple gate opens, and Rose steps out, wearing the T-shirt Greg gave her.)
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Greg
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Ah! You're wearing the... shirt.
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Rose
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*visibly worried* ... Please, go away.
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Greg
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*blushes* I'm sorry. Did I--?
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Rose
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*sighs* You're awfully cute... and I really wanna play with you, but your life is short and you have dreams. I won't let you give up on everything you want.
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Greg
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That's gonna be a problem. *bows his head*
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Rose
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Huh?
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Greg
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*looks up and smiles* You're everything I want!
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(Rose turns starry-eyed and starts giggling in joy. The flashback then ends, returning to present-day Greg and Steven.)
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Greg
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What are you smiling about?
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Steven
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*grins* ♫ You loved her! ♫
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Greg
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Come here, you! *reaches out to tickle Steven, causing him to laugh, and ruffles his hair* Nrrgh!
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Steven
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*picks up the photo of Greg and Marty* Man, Marty was the worst!
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Greg
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Oh, yeah, he was awful. *takes the photo from Steven* But I guess I owe him a lot. He made it easy for me to stay.
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Steven
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I'm glad he did.
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Greg
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*places the photo next to the picture of him and Rose* Yeah, me too.
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(The star iris zooms in on the photo of Greg and Marty, ending the episode.)
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[END]
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