[Int. to Greg's Van at It's a Wash]

Greg: (Plays guitar)

Steven: Woo! Go Dad!

Greg: See? What'd tell ya? I may be loosing my hair but the magic's still there.

(Greg drinks can of soda and a picture falls off the bottom of it)

Greg: Hmm?

Steven:Who's with you in this old picture?

Greg: Haha - That's my old pal Marty.

Steven: You've never told me about him.

Greg: Yeah he's just an old amigo from way back when...He's dead to me.

Steven: Who was he?

Greg: He was my manager back when I first met your mom. I've told that whole story haven't I?

Steven: Not the version with Marty...

Greg: Yeesh - Well then it's story time - Sit back - get comfy!(Steven lays back) I didn't mean THAT comfy...

Steven: Story for Steven!

Greg: Ok, Ok...This is the tale of how your father met your mother, now including Marty.

(Flashback begins with Young Greg singing "Like a Comet")

Greg: Some...say I have no direction, / That I'm a light-speed distraction, / But that's a knee-jerk reaction. / Still...This is the final frontier, / Everything is so clear, / To my destiny I steer. / This life in the stars is all I've ever known. / Stars and stardust in infinite space is my only home. / But the moment that I hit the stage, / thousands of voices are calling my name. / And I know in my heart it's been worth it all of the while. / And as my albums fly off of the shelves, / Handing out autographed pics of myself, / This life I chose isn't easy but sure is one heck of a ride. / At the moment that I hit the stage, / I hear the universe calling my name, And I know deep down in my heart I have nothing to fear. / And as the solar wind blows through my hair, / knowing I have so much more left to share. / A wandering spirit who's tearing its way through the cold atmosphere. / I'll fly like a comet. / Soar like a comet. / Crash like a comet. / I'm just a comet.

Rose: (Clapping)

Greg: Thanks for coming everybody, I'm Mr. Universe. If you like what you just heard go check out our merch table! My manager Marty can hook you up with CDs, and T-shirts - Oh, wait, he's not there... I guess I'm going over there now...

(Rose walks over to the merch table and picks up a CD)

Rose: (reads cover) Space Train To the Cosmos...

Greg: Yeah! (Singing) One way ticket and I'm ready to ri~ide!

Rose: (Laughing) How will you get back?

Greg: Back?

Rose: Back to Earth?

Greg: I'm NEVER coming back.

Rose: Ouaf - That's awful! (giggles) This is your home.

(Rose picks up Greg's CD in hand)

Greg: Uhh... You want that? You can have it..

Rose: Hm?

Greg: Oh, and it comes with a free t-shirt! (Pulls out a small T-shirt) You could probably need a bigger one... I've got a extra extra large in my van! Stay right there!

(Greg opens the van door, then Marty and Vidalia jump out the back)

Marty: Star child! Meet Vidalia.

Vidalia: Nice van. (Pops bubblegum) Really livin' the high life.

Marty: So, how's the show?

Greg: It was great! One person showed up! Oh! I have to give her this free...t-shirt...

(Greg turns to give Rose the shirt, but she isn't there anymore)

Marty: Greg! You can't give stuff away for free! What about my 75%? 75% of nothing is nothing. Are YOU worth nothing?

Greg: No...

Marty: That's right. I'm going to make us both rich. (Leans forward to say into Greg's ear) And as far as these saltwater saps know, we already are. (Backs away and puts his arm around Vidalia) So let's live it up before we hit the road, alright? Next stop, Empire City!

(Marty and Vidalia walk away)

Greg: Y'know, I'll catch up with you...

(Greg walks down the boardwalk, approaching a gate at the beach with a sign that says 'KEEP OFF BEACH'. Below is a sign that reads 'Please' in neat cursive. Greg looks past the gate)

Greg: Maybe she's over there?

Amethyst: (as an owl perched at the top of the gate) Hoo(Who)?

Greg: Ah, - just some giant mysterious lady with enormous pink hair. You haven't seen anyone like that around, have ya?

Amethyst: (in her normal voice): Sure have, pal.

Greg: (gulps) W-where..?

Amethyst: (Chuckles) Well, uh... If I told you any more I'd have to KILL YOU! Hoo, Hoo, Hoahahaha!

(Amethyst flies back to the temple, laughing. Greg tries to catch up and climbs the fence.)

Greg: Hey! WAIT! Hold on a sec-Whoa, oomph!

(Greg falls over the top of the fence, landing on the other side. He runs after Amethyst, up towards the temple entrance where Pearl is standing with Amethyst perched on her arm)

Amethyst: This long-haired human was talking to me over by the fence!

Pearl: It spoke to you?

Amethyst: He was asking about Rose. (she turns her head a 180 degrees) Look, there he is!

Greg: Yo~

(Amethyst flies off towards Greg)

Pearl: Ugh, Amethyst, wait!

(Amethyst shape-shifts back into herself and scares Greg. Her appearence her is very reminiscent of a toddler's.) 

Amethyst: It's YOU! I've never seen this one around here before...Aww.. I really like your hair!

(She crawls around Greg and lifts up his shirt,before Pearl picks her up.)

Greg: Uagh!

Pearl: Amethyst! Leave him be! You don't know where he's been! (To Greg:) I'm very sorry about this... ugh... you.

(Garnet warps in, bubbling away two gems.)

Greg: Woaw...

Garnet: Pearl, Amethyst, you're with a human.

Amethyst: He followed me over the fence!

Pearl: What should we do?

Garnet: (to Greg) State your purpose.

Greg: (Nervous) Uhh... I was kinda looking for the mysterious pink lady. Kinda really tall... Lots of big curly hair?

Amethyst: See, he's talking about Ro--mmphhh (Pearl puts her hand over Amethyst's mouth to muffle her)

Pearl: (to Garnet) I don't know how to make him go away.

Garnet: I'll just throw him back over the fence.(picks Greg up in attempt to throw him over the fence.)

Greg: Huh?

(Greg moans in protest as he's carried off.)

Pearl: Excellent idea! Humans should stay on the other side of the fence like the sign says.

Greg: Please! No Throwing!

Rose: (from behind) Wait!

(The Gems turn to see Rose, hurrying out of the temple)

Rose: Mr. Universe?

Greg: It's you - Whoa!-

(Garnet blushes and drops Greg)

Greg: Ow!

(Rose jumps and lands gracefully in front of Greg, reaching out a hand to help him up)

Rose: Are you alright?

(Greg takes her hand; the two of them look at each other for a moment until Pearl comes into the frame)

Pearl: You know this human?

Rose: He was playing a concert on the beach, and I couldn't help myself.

Greg: No one can ignore the Universe. Oh! (he holds out the T-shirt) I brought you this. It's the free t-shirt that came with the free CD!

Rose: (takes the shirt) Why, thank you!

(The other Gems crowd around Rose to look)

Rose: (whispers to Gems) His gimmick is space!

Pearl: (chuckles)

Amethyst: Hey, play something, music man!

Garnet: (Summons gauntlet) Better make it good.

Greg: Ah, man, I'm working on this awesome new set, it's gonna kill at my next show! Next show...(realizing how late it is) .. Aw jeez, what time is it?

Pearl: N...ight... time?

Greg: Yeah, Marty's probably looking for me. We're supposed to hit the road...Big show in a big city... And I didn't drop out of community college for nothing!

Pearl: What?

Rose: Well, you better hurry. You don't wanna miss your space train to the cosmos.

Greg: Okay! (begins to run off) I'll see you later (stops, turns back for a second to call back) Ugh, I hope the stars will align for us to meet again!

Rose: I'm sure they will!

Amethyst: Bye~ music man! (waves)

Greg: (waves back then exits)

(Rose looks at the shirt)

Pearl: (sounding somewhat jealous) I can sing!

(Rose smiles; Garnet begins to laugh as Amethyst joins her)

Pearl: What? (puts hands on hips)

(Scene changes, raining as Greg's van is seen driving along the road)

Marty (driving the van): Man, Greg, you REALLY missed out. Vidalia's friends were wild and crazy. Glad that town wasn't a TOTAL waste.

Greg: I met some wild ladies too. They changed shape and appeared out of beams of light.

Marty: Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, save the poetry for Empire City, Star Child. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.

Greg: I'm serious, Marty. Something's goin' on back there.

Marty: Are you nuts? Just wait 'till you see what's ahead of us. It's FAME! (presses 'play' on the radio, but it doesn't work) Hey, what's jammed in your tape deck? You been putting pennies in here, you weirdo? Play something for me, Star Child.

Greg: (obediently strums guitar and begins to sing) Do you believe in destiny? / Close your eyes and leave the rest to me...

Marty: Snore! You're gonna put people to sleep with that. Where's the schlock coming from?

Greg: (blushing) I-I just can't stop thinking about that woman at the show.

Marty: Oh, here we go, how big was she?

Greg: Eight feet tall... Massive hair...

Marty: See, Greg, this is your problem. You want one huge woman, when you could have multiple small ones.

Greg: Ugh, Marty, women are people.

Marty: (camera zooms to Greg's band merch) Just follow my lead. I'm gonna get you everything you want.

Greg: What if I want to go back?

Marty: WHAT?!

Greg: What if I want to go back and be with her?!

Marty: (Lets go of the steering wheel) No one cares about your feelings, Greg! They're making you lose sight of what's really important!


(truck lights become visible in the front window of the car; the honk of the truck is heard. Marty, driving the van, swerved and stops beside a billboard)

Greg: (breathing deeply) Why do you always decide what's important?

Marty: Because I'm your manager, and you're just some spaced out kid. I'm taking you to the city, and you're gonna play, and you're gonna like it. Maybe you'll even make me some money for once.

Greg: (starts to get angry) Get out of my van.

Marty: Sit down, Greg.

Greg: (yelling) I said: GET OUTTA MY VAN!

(scene pans out, and Marty is sitting on the side of the road in the rain while Greg pulls his van back, turning back around)

Marty: What are you doing? You're making a HUGE mistake!

(Greg driving recklessly, driving down the boardwalk and onto the beach, runs over the fence. He runs up to the flooded temple, running to the temple door and knocks)

Greg: Hey, are you in there? I can play for you now! I even revamped my awesome set!

(Ge runs back and jumps onto the warp pad and prepares to play his guitar)

Greg: This one's for you, mystery woman! (starts singing) Do you believe in destiny? / close your eyes and leave the rest to me. / Do you believe in fantasy? / I'll have to when it's right in front of me. / Oh, what are you doing here / In the real world? / What are you doing here? / So close I could touch you. / What are you doing here? / (He kneels) And What are you doing to me?

(A bright light appears,the temple door opens, and Rose steps out wearing the shrt Greg gave her)

Greg: Ah! You're wearing the... shirt.

Rose: (With a worried face) ... Please go away.

Greg: (Blushing) I'm sorry. Did I--?

Rose: (Sighs) You're awfully cute... and I really wanna play with you, but your life is short and you have dreams. I won't let you give up on everything you want.

Greg: That's gonna be a problem. (Bows his head)

Rose: Huh?

Greg: You're everything I want!

Rose: (Pupils turn to stars and giggles)

(Scene changes to the present again)

Greg: What are you smiling about?

Steven: (grins) You loved her!

Greg: (reaches out to tickle him and ruffle his hair) Come here, you!

Steven: (laughs)

Greg: Nrrgh! (noogies him playfully)

Steven: (picks up the picture of Greg and Marty) Man, Marty was the worst!

Greg: Oh, yeah, he was awful. But I guess I owe him a lot. He made it easy for me to stay.

Steven: I'm glad he did.

(Greg puts the photo next to the one of him and Rose)

Greg: Yeah, me too.


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