The Message/Transcript

[Open Int. The Beach]

[Greg plays guitar]

Steven: *Cheers* That sounded great!

Greg: Oh thanks! I was thinking about calling it "Water Witch."

Steven: Cool.

Greg: And check this out, I can add some vocal distortion too. *robotic machine voice* Steven, your dad's a robot now. And now that I'm a robot *distortion* things will be better and colder. Please forgive me for being an amazing machine.

Steven: I can't stay mad at my robo dad. Where's all this awesome energy coming from?

Greg: Well actually I was inspired to write some new songs after the ocean got sucked up into space a while back. I even drew up some freaky album artwork.

Steven: It looks like, Lapis Lazuli.

Greg: Easy with the tender touches, don't want it to get all smudged. Here, plug this up and help your old man work out this whichy jam.

Steven: Yeah! Let's! Jam!

[Strum electric guitar but it makes no sound]

Steven: Uh? Where my jams at?

Greg: I don't think its plugged in.

Steven: Ah ha!

[Plugs electric guitar]

Steven: All right, here we go. Let's... jam!

[Still no noise from guitar]

Steven: Uh... hmm. Jam!

[Still no noise from guitar]

Steven: Hm... Jam!

[Repeatedly tries to strum guitar but still no noise is heard from it.]

Greg: Oh, sorry, thats just the TV. See, you plugged into the video jack but were making audio here. Don't you know video killed the audio star?

Steven: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Greg: Thats ok, you just leave the details to me. When you're a one man band you got to know do it all: lyrics, graphic design, forum moderation, but for me it was all about the audio.

Steven: What a lovely poem.

Greg: Ok, we need a catchy hook! Something like-

[Starts signing and playing guitar]

Greg: Well she's a rip tide queen and she's super mean!

Steven: Hoah, hold the phone, now give the phone to me. Lapis was not mean, she was just trying to get home. How 'bout this instead.

[Starts signing and playing guitar] [Begins to sing Lapis Lazuli]

Steven: She was trapped in a mirror and it couldn't be clearer she wanted to leave this place and get herself back in space and dad you might think she a, criminal, comes through subliminal.

[Still signing, montage of Lapis Lazuli starts playing.

Steven: Lapis Lazuli... you fled into the bottom of the sea.. Lapis Lazuli... you were so made but then you came around to me.

[Singing and montage stop while a strange noise startles Steven]

Steven: [trying to talk over noise] Uh, what the heck is that?!

Greg: It must be some kind of weird feedback.

[Unsuccessfully tries to stop noise by changed his audio keyboard]

Greg: Hm, its not us, it must be coming from the temple!

Steven: Let's go check it out.

Greg: You go on ahead, this is a gem thing and I dont want to get in the way. Plus I got to eat the rest of this pizza.

Steven: Good thinking, I'll be back.

[Noise intensifies as Steven opens the door]

Steven: What's happening?!

Pearl: It's the Wailing Stone!

Amethyst: Make it stop!

Pearl: It just activated on its own!

Amethyst: It won't shut up!

[Amethyst wines and Garnet momentarily stops the noise, but it soon continues]

Everyone: Uh.....!

Pearl: Stand back!

[Bubbles Wailing Stone and noise stops]

Pearl: Ha, it worked, now we can get back to...

[Bubble grows large and pops]

Everyone: Ah.......!

[Steven sticks his arm through the hole and the noise stops, but open his mouth and the noise continues]

[Garnet removes Steven, shoves a couch cushon through the hole and places the rest around the stone and sits Steven on top of it]

Garnet: I don't understand, that thing has laid dormant since we found it.

Pearl: I haven't heard a Wailing Stone activate since we used them for the rebellion, and I've never heard it sound like that!

Garnet: Someone is trying to send us a message.

Pearl: But who? We've rounded up all the Wailing Stones on Earth, and we're not sending this message to ourselves. Unless? Amethyst?! Is this a prank?!

Amethyst: No way! I want it to stop! I don't like it!

Garnet: If its not coming from Earth, then a Gem must be sending this message from space.

Steven: Is that, what some Gems sound like?

Pearl: No, no, we should be hearing a voice, maybe this signal is advanced for the Wailing Stone to proccess. That would explain the distorted audio.

Steven: Audio, my dadio know audio.

Amethyst: Uh..., you mean Greg.

Steven: Yeah!

Pearl: I don't know...

Garnet: Don't whine, let's try it.

[Greg is searching through his van on the beach]

Greg: I can't believe it! you need help with sound stuff? You've come to the right guy! Ah ha! The Lubitscardiocondenser 680! It's got warm tone without too much top end.

Amethyst: Uh, plus its got a big honking sponge thing.

Greg: I know, isn't it awesome!

[Removes the couch cushon from the stone and plugs in his device]

Greg: Now I'm going to add some reverb and some low octave effects, I'm also adding some fuzz 'cause who couldn't use more fuzz? Now if I directly input the Wailing Stone and put it through a flanger we might what you're looking for.

Pearl: Flangers aside do you really think a signal like this is compatible with your analog devices?

Steven: Dont worry dad.

[Auto tunes voice]

Steven: It'll work!

Greg: Well, here goes nothing.

[Old noise intensifies even more]

Amethyst: This is even worse!

Greg: I'm sorry!

Steven: Dad you can do it, you're the audio dadio!

Greg: Yeah!

[Tries to configure noise]

Amethyst: Uh.

Steven: It sounds like music.

Greg: Yeah, thats real nice.

[Noise changes into a more musical tone]

Greg: Yes, yes. Woh Hoo!

Pearl: But, its not supposed to be music its supposed to be a message.

Greg: Okay, hold on I got this.

[Noise starts to change]

Greg: Its changing!

Steven: It almost sounds like a voice.

Greg: Almost got it!

[Engine shorts out and noise stops]

Greg: Uh great.

Pearl: What's happening, where's the signal!

Greg: Uh, looks like the van battery couldn't handle all this.

Pearl: I had a feeling this wouldn't work, there's just no way that Greg's equipment can interface with our ancient Gem technology.

Steven: Ah... come on Pearl, you can't be ready to give up yet.

Greg: Look, we just got to keep trying.Sure we don't have the latest and greatest Gem tech, but-

[Garnet remove device, noise starts, puts back the couch cushions and noise stops]

Garnet: It's okay Greg, you tried. Back to the temple. We'll figure something else out.

[Jumps off screen]

Pearl: What a waste of time.

[Jumps off screen]

Amethyst: See you later... Gregory.

[Jumps off screen]

Steven: Ah come one yall!

[Tries to jump off screen but fails]

Greg: Uh, I really blew it huh?

Steven: Ah, Dad.

[Greg starts signing and playing guitar]

Greg: I could of tamed you I could of shown I could dispose you from your loud throne, but in the end I wasn't good enough I just showed the Gems I ain't got the stuff. Oh Wailing Stone I tried so hard to fly but I as thrown Oh Wailing Stone I should tell the Gem 'cause they should know. Have a little have a little have a little faith in me I just wanted to help, you know I have a little have a little have a little expertise I know it's not much but I know if it could come in handy I'd want to be there, I think you highly of you it just isn't fair that you have so little faith.

[Stops signing]

Greg: eh, its a B-side.

Steven: Dad, I hate seeing you like this, there's gotta be something else we can try.

Greg: eh, I dont know Steven I mean, sound and stuff like this, this stuff's my whole world, and if I can't figure this out then I don't know, maybe it isn't even sound.

Steven: Dad, if it isn't sound then what else could it be? Hm, hm. Wait, what! Dad!

Greg: I'm not that far away from you buddy.

Steven: What if it's...

Greg: Some other thing I'm not good at?

[Steven points eyes]

Greg: [struggling] Magic.., eyeballs... Oh my days its video!

Steven: We have to tell the Gems! Video!

[Starts running to beach house]

Greg: Hey slow down!

[At beach house and not facing the Gems

Greg: I just want to help, have some faith in.

[Realizing know one's there]

Amethyst: We're over here.

Greg: I know my audio equipment seems like a pile of Earth junk to y'all but-

Garnet: Greg, Its ok.

Greg: No its not, you guys don't give up on anything, except for me. Come on... it's not like I can make it any worse!

[Back at Greg's van]

Pearl: Okay, go for it Garnet.

[Garnet holds jumper cables and generates her own electrical current]

Pearl: Okay Amethyst, try it now.

Amethyst: I've never started a car with a key before.

[Turns key and starts car]

Amethyst: Ha, that's way easier!

Pearl: The battery is ready to go.

Steven: The Wailing Stone is ready.

Greg: Ready with the video cord, Steven?

Steven: Ready.

[Plugs in cord, sound starts and video is fuzzy]

Pearl: Is that it?

Greg: Just a second.

Steven: I hear something.

Greg: Come on!

Lapis Lazuli: Steven!

Steven: Lapis

Greg: I did it!

Pearl: I can't believe my flipping eyes!

Garnet: Everyone listen up!

Lapis: I hope you're able to hear this, there's a Gem looking for you, she even knew your name. I don't know how! I didn't tell her I swear! She's on her way to Earth, and she's not alone. Steven, Homeworld is not the way it used to be. Everything here is so advanced! I can't even understand it. There's no way anything on Earth can stand up to it. Please, don't put up a fight, It'll only lead to devastation.

[Video cuts off]

Pearl: It's Peridot, she must be talking about Peridot.

Amethyst: She's coming for us!

Steven: Lapis, she sounds so unhappy...

[Pearl and Amethyst freak out in background]

Amethyst: What are we going to do?!

Garnet: Woo, we did it.

Pearl: What?

Garnet: We got the message.

Amethyst: But!

Garnet: It's got!

[Garnet shakes Gregs hand]

Garnet: Thank you Greg, we would not have recieved this message without your help.

[Greg starts to tear up]

Greg: You, you're welcome.

Steven: My dad is...

[Using auto tuner in robot voice]

Steven: The best!

Greg: Oh my gosh, help, I can't relate to my robot son!

[Still robot voice]

Steven: My mind is the internet, I know every continuity mistake ever made on television.

[Greg and Steven start laughing]

[End]

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