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This is a transcribed copy of "Tiger Philanthropist". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Rocknaldo" Next: "Room for Ruby"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Int. Abandoned Warehouse]
(A wrestling match is ongoing inside of the warehouse. A crowd is cheering while Mr. Smiley is emceeing, as Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire take on Shark-O-Mania)
Mr. Smiley They're the team you love to hate, but also hate to love!
Lars I love wrestling!
(Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire attack Shark-O-Mania off-screen, knocking him into a daze.)
Mr. Smiley Ooh, another devastating move by Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire tonight folks! Looks like Shark-O-Mania is seeing starfish after that last one!
Steven Let's finish him off with our special move!
Amethyst Yeah, why not?
Steven Take my hand!
(Purple Puma grabs Tiger Millionaire's hand and spins him in the air.)
Mr. Smiley Here it comes, ya'll! The PURPLE MILLIONAIRE KICK!
(Purple Puma swings Tiger Millionaire around and he kicks Shark-O Mania in the face, knocking him down onto his back.)
Mr. Smiley And Shark-O-Mania's out cold. Somebody put that fish on ice before it stinks up the joint!
(Purple Puma, seemingly in solemn, gazes down at Shark-O Mania on the ground, and then at the cheering crowd.)
Mr. Smiley Folks, Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma have done it again! They are still your tag team champions! Will their special brand of jungle terror ever come to an end?
(The crowd cheers on loudly, including Lars.)
Lars Yeah! Don't ever stop!
Steven Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma forever!
Mr. Smiley Such dedication to teamwork! And friendship- Wha!?
(Purple Puma climbs out of the wrestling ring and swipes away Mr. Smiley microphone.)
Amethyst *sighs* Hey, it's been fun, but... I'm over this.
(The crowd gasps in shock, and goes silent.)
Steven Wha- What's going on?
Amethyst I'm through with this place! Here's your belt back. *drops the mic*
Mr. Smiley Hey now, that mic is expensive! You can't just-
(Purple Puma removes her tag team belt around her waist and drops it on the ground too.)
Mr. Smiley Oh, no, you're just gonna do that and leave?!
(Tiger Millionaire runs over and picks up the belt and the microphone, as he watches Purple Puma leave the warehouse)
Steven Uh, sorry everyone. I guess... this is over. Bye, Mr. Smiley
(Tiger Millionaire returns the microphone back to Mr. Smiley and follows after Purple Puma. The crowd begins protesting and booing.
Mr. Smiley What an unbelievable shame, folks.
Lars What! That's it?! You can't quit now!
Mr. Smiley What a sad and anti-climatic end to one of the greatest tag team careers to ever grace the squared surface.
(The warehouse door closes behind Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire, and Purple Puma shapeshifts back into her normal form.)
Amethyst Aaahh...! Got my Saturday night spank.
Steven Did you really mean what you said? About being through with wrestling?
Amethyst Come on, Steven. Wasn't that match kinda boring? Pfft, we don't need wrestling to have fun anymore, right?
Steven Uh, right!
Amethyst Yeah! Let's go home and get some grub.
(Tiger Millionaire looks at the belt that Purple Puma dropped in slight dismay.)
[Trans. Int. The Big Donut, The Next Day]
(Steven walks into the Big Donut to get some donuts.)
Steven Hey Sadie, hey Lars! Can I get the special?
(Lars, face-down on the counter, drops Steven's order on the counter without saying a word.)
Steven *picks up his order* Uhh...
(Steven lifts up Lars' head, revealing his distressed face.)
Lars *groaning* Tiger...
(Steven yells in shock and lets off of Lars' head, flopping it back on the counter.)
Lars ... He left wrestling at the height of his career! *groaning* Why...?
Sadie Huh, why don't you just ask Steven?
Lars You and your theory. Steven is not Tiger! Tiger's ripped and like seven feet tall!
Steven Well... I heard Purple Puma didn't want to do it anymore
Lars So what!? Just because Purple Puma quit doesn't mean Tiger had to.
Steven *gets pensive* I also heard Tiger didn't think of that.
Lars Well, he shoulda. It's the least he could do for his fans.
Steven Hmm... *leaves the shop, deep in thought*
Sadie O-uh. It is him, right?
[Trans. Ext. Abandoned Warehouse, Night-time]
(Steven runs towards the warehouse, wearing a shawl, as another wrestling match is occurring.)
Mr. Smiley Now I know these days we are in a depression. But underground wrestling is too big to fade. We got two new fighters on loan and they are here to collect. Ladies and gentlemen, The Wolves of Wallstreet!
(The crowd cheers as two wrestlers, similar in theme of Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire, but as wolves, are seen on the wrestling ring.)
Billy Bank Assets We'll huff! We'll puff! And we'll blow your stocks down!
Lars What a ripoff.
(Steven bursts through the warehouse door and jumps to the ring.)
Mr. Smiley What's this? It looks like we have a new challenger making his way into the ring. What mystery could possibly lie beneath that identity-concealing shawl?
(Steven, dressed as Tiger Millionaire, removes his shawl, and his wrestling theme begins to play.)
Mr. Smiley I don't believe! Tiger Millionaire, ladies and gentlemen!
(Lars chokes on his drink in surprise, and the crowd cheers on in shock too. Tiger Millionaire then picks the microphone.)
Steven You are wrong Mr. Smiley. Tiger Millionaire, is gone forever. He retired to his huge pile of money. But he realized it didn't make him happy. So here I am ready to give back to the fans. Tiger Philanthropist!
(Tiger Philanthropist rips off his tie and starts throwing money to a very excited crowd. Sadie is confused while Lars is unamused.)
Mr. Smiley So the millionaire becomes a philanthropist. A person who gives money away! But I ask you. Can the Purple Puma's backup make it solo?
Steven Bring it on!
(The crowd cheers as Tiger Philanthropist prepares to face Billy Bank Assets.)
Steven Hey, tough boy! You need a loan to start a small business?
Billy Bank Assets Oh. I'm actually pretty financially stable-
Steven 'Cause you've just been approved.
Billy Bank Assets But I guess that-
(Tiger charges at Billy with an elbow strike and knocks him down.)
Mr. Smiley Oh my dang! Billy Bank Assets just got a taste of the Philanthropist business loan elbow!
(Howl Jones jumps into the ring in front of Tiger.)
Mr. Smiley Howl Jones is still in this match thought! He's gonna make a withdraw!
(Howl Jones grapples Tiger at his shoulders, but Tiger flips him overhead.)
Mr. Smiley Oh! Overdraft!
Steven This should cover your medical bills! *throws money at Howl Jones*
Mr. Smiley What a generous wrestler! Oh-what? Looks like Shark-o-Mania is back for revenge! With a new partner! The Sea-Wasp! *checking on his phone* Which is a very poisonous type of jellyfish.
(Shark-O-Mania and Sea Wasp jump into the ring and approach Tiger Philanthropist.)
Steven Ha! Looks like we'll have to give them the old Purple Pum-
(Tiger holds his hand out and looks behind, and realizes Purple Puma is not there anymore.)
Mr. Smiley Dang! How is Tiger gonna get out off this fishy situation?
Steven Ahhhh
(Tiger charges at Shark-o-Mania and Sea-Wasp and takes them both down with an arm to their guts.)
Mr. Smiley Oh! He hit 'em with a charitable Take-Donation! And now a wringing-catapultist!
(Tiger single-handedly knocks out Shark-o-Mania and Sea-Wasp.)
Mr. Smiley Did you see that? He's paying for their medical bills too! It looks like this philanthropist is the real deal, ladies and gentlemen! No one is leaving here tonight unimpressed.
(Tiger Philanthropist climbs onto the ring rope and throws more money at the cheering crowd. He then looks at Lars, noticing a look of disinterest on his face, and frowns in dismay.)
[Trans. Int. The Big Donut, The Next Day]
(Steven visits the donut shop again to greet Lars.)
Steven *cheery* Hi Lars!
Lars *deadpan* Uhh... What.
Steven So... how was your evening?
Lars Fine I guess. Kind of boring.
Steven What do you mean kind of boring!?
Lars Why are you so worked up over how my night was?
Steven Oh, uhh... Well, I was wondering if you've seen any good wrestling matches lately?
Lars Hmpf. Now that you mention it, no!
Steven But I heard Tiger Millionaire was back. He's your favorite, right?
Lars Yeah, but he came back as some lame, Tiger... Phil-harmonic donations-thing? Which, honestly, is such a weird angle, you know? The whole thing just felt so off.
Steven What do you mean off?
Lars He took off his tie, and is throwing money at everybody. It's like, the sequel no one asked for.
Steven What! It's the sequel you asked for!
Lars Well, he just didn't seem into it, you know? He used to care about his money. Now he's just giving it away. And he still just wins like, every match.
Steven Oh, I get it. You want him to lose and keep his money, right?
Lars No, I don't want him to lose, just-
Steven What do you want him to do!? Just tell meeeee!
Lars I don't know! I don't even know what I want for breakfast half the time! I'm a complex individual teenage boy. Now get out of here and stop taking such a personal interest in my habits and well-being!
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(Steven lies sulking on the couch, while Amethyst is making tea next to him.)
Steven I don't get it. I don't even know why I'm wrestling anymore. I guess I'm doing it for Lars? And he doesn't even care. I liked it better when I was doing it for you.
Amethyst But who needs it, you know? I mean, I needed it when I felt like, ehh... I wasn't good enough. But I don't feel like that anymore. *eats the teabag* Do you?
Steven No. No, that- that's never why I was doing it. I just, liked it was our thing we did together. But, you're right. Doesn't make sense anymore. I think I should just do what you did. Just tell everybody I'm quitting and... leave like it's no big deal.
(Steven gets up and walks off. Amethyst looks down in slight regret.)
[Trans. Ext. Abandoned Warehouse, Night-time]
(Tiger Philanthropist stands alone in the ring, with the tag team belts hanging from the ceiling.)
Mr. Smiley Ladies and gents. Tonight is a very special night here at the Beach City Wrestling Arena Dome and Building. I'll let my good friend Tiger Mill- I mean, Philanthropist explain.
Steven Thank you Mr. Smiley.
Lars *uninterested* What now?
Steven Tonight will mark my greatest and finalist act of philanthropy. Tonight, I am giving away the Tag Team titles. Whoever can grab them first can have them.
(The crowd begins booing at Tiger.)
Lars Booooo! Philanthrophy is laaame!
Steven Boo all you like! I don't care anymore! These belts don't mean anything to me! They never did.
(The crowd keep booing at Tiger, when the Brothers Construction theme starts to play.)
Mr. Smiley I know that sound! It's the Brothers Construction! Concrete Heat and Chunk Truck! So sad to see Tiger giving up those belts without at least putting up a fight.
(The Good-Looking Gang theme plays as they enter the warehouse as well.)
Mr. Smiley Oh no! It's Good-Looking Gang's music! They are back to finally claim the tag titles! Look like things are heating up on the ring, who'll be the next tag team champion!
(A Puma's Roar is suddenly heard, as Purple Puma appears at the doorway.)
Amethyst Whoa there, Tiger!
Steven Amethyst?
Mr. Smiley He's back! The legend has returned to the ring! PUUURPPPLE PUUUMAAA!!
Amethyst Those belts aren't yours to give away! Those times we wrestled together meant everything to me! *jumps into the ring* You can give away all jungle bucks you want. But I will not stand by and let you give up our memories!
(Purple Puma picks up Tiger Philanthropist and hugs him. The crowds "awws" and cheers.)
Mr. Smiley Oh what a display, ladies and gentlemen.
Steven You came back!
Amethyst I'm sorry. This was our thing we did together and I just... quit on you!
Steven It's ok. You were right. We don't need this anymore.
Amethyst Well, how do you wanna go out?
Steven With a bang!
(Purple Puma and Tiger Philanthropist smile at each other, when Chunk Truck suddenly punches Purple Puma in the face.)
Mr. Smiley It looks like this fight for the belt it's still on!
(Purple Puma stumbles backwards and leans onto the ring ropes. Chunk Truck then grapples Tiger Philanthropist, leaving him open for Concrete Heat.)
Mr. Smiley The Brothers Construction look like they are ready letting down a foundation of pain! But, oh! Shark-o-Mania is back again! He's not even in the match!
(Shark-o-Mania jumps into the ring and charges at Tiger, headbutting him while still in Chuck Truck's grasp.)
Mr. Smiley Tiger Philanthropist is down!
Lars What?!
(Shark-o-Mania and Concrete Heat grab and knock down Tiger Philanthropist and Purple Puma respectively. As they stand up, Chunk Truck punches Tiger, and Concrete Heat executes a Double Axe Handle on Puma.)
Lars *climbing into the ring* This isn't fair! Stop the match! They're gonna be destroyed!
(A security guard grabs Lars and drags him away. Puma and Tiger kneel beaten-up in front of the Good-Looking Gang.)
Steven & Amethyst Finish it!
(The Good-Looking Gang nod and they both deliver a kick right into Puma's and Tiger's face, knocking them out.)
Mr. Smiley No! The Good-Looking Gang hit the Star-Crossed Lovers on Puma and Tiger! This is their chance! The belts are hanging free and clear!
(Puma and Tiger gaze at the Good-Looking Gang as they successfully retrieve the tag team belts, and pink and purple confetti begin raining upon them.)
Mr. Smiley They got it! It's official! The Good-Looking Gang are the new Beach City underground tag team wrestling champions! This is truly the end for Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma. What a way to go out!
(Sadie keeps the warehouse door open, as the security guard escorts Lars outside the building.)
Lars How can this be happening! It was just getting good! You can't quit now! TIIIGEEERR!! *sobs*
(The star iris closes on Puma and Tiger, as they wink at each other in content, ending the episode.)

ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen It RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin PartyLars of the StarsJungle MoonYour Mother and MineThe Big ShowPool HoppingLetters to LarsCan't Go BackA Single Pale RoseNow We're Only Falling ApartWhat's Your Problem?The QuestionMade of HonorReunitedLegs From Here to HomeworldFamiliarTogether AloneEscapismChange Your Mind
Film Steven Universe: The Movie
Future Little HomeschoolGuidanceRose BudsVolleyballBluebirdA Very Special EpisodeSnow DayWhy So Blue?Little GraduationPrickly PairIn DreamsBismuth CasualTogether ForeverGrowing PainsMr. UniverseFragmentsHomeworld BoundEverything's FineI Am My MonsterThe Future
Shorts Lion Loves to Fit in a BoxThe Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time
Other We Deserve to ShineCrossover Nexus