| Speaker
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Dialogue
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| [Open Int. Abandoned Warehouse]
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| (A wrestling match is ongoing inside of the warehouse. A crowd is cheering while Mr. Smiley is emceeing, as Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire take on Shark-O-Mania)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
They're the team you love to hate, but also hate to love!
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| Lars
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I love wrestling!
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| (Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire attack Shark-O-Mania off-screen, knocking him into a daze.)
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| Mr. Smiley
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Ooh, another devastating move by Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire tonight folks! Looks like Shark-O-Mania is seeing starfish after that last one!
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| Steven
|
Let's finish him off with our special move!
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| Amethyst
|
Yeah, why not?
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| Steven
|
Take my hand!
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| (Purple Puma grabs Tiger Millionaire's hand and spins him in the air.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Here it comes, ya'll! The PURPLE MILLIONAIRE KICK!
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| (Purple Puma swings Tiger Millionaire around and he kicks Shark-O Mania in the face, knocking him down onto his back.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
And Shark-O-Mania's out cold. Somebody put that fish on ice before it stinks up the joint!
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| (Purple Puma, seemingly in solemn, gazes down at Shark-O Mania on the ground, and then at the cheering crowd.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Folks, Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma have done it again! They are still your tag team champions! Will their special brand of jungle terror ever come to an end?
|
| (The crowd cheers on loudly, including Lars.)
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| Lars
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Yeah! Don't ever stop!
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| Steven
|
Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma forever!
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Such dedication to teamwork! And friendship- Wha!?
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| (Purple Puma climbs out of the wrestling ring and swipes away Mr. Smiley microphone.)
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| Amethyst
|
*sighs* Hey, it's been fun, but... I'm over this.
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| (The crowd gasps in shock, and goes silent.)
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| Steven
|
Wha- What's going on?
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| Amethyst
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I'm through with this place! Here's your belt back. *drops the mic*
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Hey now, that mic is expensive! You can't just-
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| (Purple Puma removes her tag team belt around her waist and drops it on the ground too.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Oh, no, you're just gonna do that and leave?!
|
| (Tiger Millionaire runs over and picks up the belt and the microphone, as he watches Purple Puma leave the warehouse)
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| Steven
|
Uh, sorry everyone. I guess... this is over. Bye, Mr. Smiley
|
| (Tiger Millionaire returns the microphone back to Mr. Smiley and follows after Purple Puma. The crowd begins protesting and booing.
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| Mr. Smiley
|
What an unbelievable shame, folks.
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| Lars
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What! That's it?! You can't quit now!
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| Mr. Smiley
|
What a sad and anti-climatic end to one of the greatest tag team careers to ever grace the squared surface.
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| (The warehouse door closes behind Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire, and Purple Puma shapeshifts back into her normal form.)
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| Amethyst
|
Aaahh...! Got my Saturday night spank.
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| Steven
|
Did you really mean what you said? About being through with wrestling?
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| Amethyst
|
Come on, Steven. Wasn't that match kinda boring? Pfft, we don't need wrestling to have fun anymore, right?
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| Steven
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Uh, right!
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| Amethyst
|
Yeah! Let's go home and get some grub.
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| (Tiger Millionaire looks at the belt that Purple Puma dropped in slight dismay.)
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| [Trans. Int. The Big Donut, The Next Day]
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| (Steven walks into the Big Donut to get some donuts.)
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| Steven
|
Hey Sadie, hey Lars! Can I get the special?
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| (Lars, face-down on the counter, drops Steven's order on the counter without saying a word.)
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| Steven
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*picks up his order* Uhh...
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| (Steven lifts up Lars' head, revealing his distressed face.)
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| Lars
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*groaning* Tiger...
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| (Steven yells in shock and lets off of Lars' head, flopping it back on the counter.)
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| Lars
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... He left wrestling at the height of his career! *groaning* Why...?
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| Sadie
|
Huh, why don't you just ask Steven?
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| Lars
|
You and your theory. Steven is not Tiger! Tiger's ripped and like seven feet tall!
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| Steven
|
Well... I heard Purple Puma didn't want to do it anymore
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| Lars
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So what!? Just because Purple Puma quit doesn't mean Tiger had to.
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| Steven
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*gets pensive* I also heard Tiger didn't think of that.
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| Lars
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Well, he shoulda. It's the least he could do for his fans.
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| Steven
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Hmm... *leaves the shop, deep in thought*
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| Sadie
|
O-uh. It is him, right?
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| [Trans. Ext. Abandoned Warehouse, Night-time]
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| (Steven runs towards the warehouse, wearing a shawl, as another wrestling match is occurring.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Now I know these days we are in a depression. But underground wrestling is too big to fade. We got two new fighters on loan and they are here to collect. Ladies and gentlemen, The Wolves of Wallstreet!
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| (The crowd cheers as two wrestlers, similar in theme of Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire, but as wolves, are seen on the wrestling ring.)
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| Billy Bank Assets
|
We'll huff! We'll puff! And we'll blow your stocks down!
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| Lars
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What a ripoff.
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| (Steven bursts through the warehouse door and jumps to the ring.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
What's this? It looks like we have a new challenger making his way into the ring. What mystery could possibly lie beneath that identity-concealing shawl?
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| (Steven, dressed as Tiger Millionaire, removes his shawl, and his wrestling theme begins to play.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
I don't believe! Tiger Millionaire, ladies and gentlemen!
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| (Lars chokes on his drink in surprise, and the crowd cheers on in shock too. Tiger Millionaire then picks the microphone.)
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| Steven
|
You are wrong Mr. Smiley. Tiger Millionaire, is gone forever. He retired to his huge pile of money. But he realized it didn't make him happy. So here I am ready to give back to the fans. Tiger Philanthropist!
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| (Tiger Philanthropist rips off his tie and starts throwing money to a very excited crowd. Sadie is confused while Lars is unamused.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
So the millionaire becomes a philanthropist. A person who gives money away! But I ask you. Can the Purple Puma's backup make it solo?
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| Steven
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Bring it on!
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| (The crowd cheers as Tiger Philanthropist prepares to face Billy Bank Assets.)
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| Steven
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Hey, tough boy! You need a loan to start a small business?
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| Billy Bank Assets
|
Oh. I'm actually pretty financially stable-
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| Steven
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'Cause you've just been approved.
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| Billy Bank Assets
|
But I guess that-
|
| (Tiger charges at Billy with an elbow strike and knocks him down.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Oh my dang! Billy Bank Assets just got a taste of the Philanthropist business loan elbow!
|
| (Howl Jones jumps into the ring in front of Tiger.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Howl Jones is still in this match thought! He's gonna make a withdraw!
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| (Howl Jones grapples Tiger at his shoulders, but Tiger flips him overhead.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Oh! Overdraft!
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| Steven
|
This should cover your medical bills! *throws money at Howl Jones*
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| Mr. Smiley
|
What a generous wrestler! Oh-what? Looks like Shark-o-Mania is back for revenge! With a new partner! The Sea-Wasp! *checking on his phone* Which is a very poisonous type of jellyfish.
|
| (Shark-O-Mania and Sea Wasp jump into the ring and approach Tiger Philanthropist.)
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| Steven
|
Ha! Looks like we'll have to give them the old Purple Pum-
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| (Tiger holds his hand out and looks behind, and realizes Purple Puma is not there anymore.)
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| Mr. Smiley
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Dang! How is Tiger gonna get out off this fishy situation?
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| Steven
|
Ahhhh
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| (Tiger charges at Shark-o-Mania and Sea-Wasp and takes them both down with an arm to their guts.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Oh! He hit 'em with a charitable Take-Donation! And now a wringing-catapultist!
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| (Tiger single-handedly knocks out Shark-o-Mania and Sea-Wasp.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Did you see that? He's paying for their medical bills too! It looks like this philanthropist is the real deal, ladies and gentlemen! No one is leaving here tonight unimpressed.
|
| (Tiger Philanthropist climbs onto the ring rope and throws more money at the cheering crowd. He then looks at Lars, noticing a look of disinterest on his face, and frowns in dismay.)
|
| [Trans. Int. The Big Donut, The Next Day]
|
| (Steven visits the donut shop again to greet Lars.)
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| Steven
|
*cheery* Hi Lars!
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| Lars
|
*deadpan* Uhh... What.
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| Steven
|
So... how was your evening?
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| Lars
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Fine I guess. Kind of boring.
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| Steven
|
What do you mean kind of boring!?
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| Lars
|
Why are you so worked up over how my night was?
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| Steven
|
Oh, uhh... Well, I was wondering if you've seen any good wrestling matches lately?
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| Lars
|
Hmpf. Now that you mention it, no!
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| Steven
|
But I heard Tiger Millionaire was back. He's your favorite, right?
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| Lars
|
Yeah, but he came back as some lame, Tiger... Phil-harmonic donations-thing? Which, honestly, is such a weird angle, you know? The whole thing just felt so off.
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| Steven
|
What do you mean off?
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| Lars
|
He took off his tie, and is throwing money at everybody. It's like, the sequel no one asked for.
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| Steven
|
What! It's the sequel you asked for!
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| Lars
|
Well, he just didn't seem into it, you know? He used to care about his money. Now he's just giving it away. And he still just wins like, every match.
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| Steven
|
Oh, I get it. You want him to lose and keep his money, right?
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| Lars
|
No, I don't want him to lose, just-
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| Steven
|
What do you want him to do!? Just tell meeeee!
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| Lars
|
I don't know! I don't even know what I want for breakfast half the time! I'm a complex individual teenage boy. Now get out of here and stop taking such a personal interest in my happiness and well-being!
|
| [Trans. Int. Beach House]
|
| (Steven lies sulking on the couch, while Amethyst is making tea next to him.)
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| Steven
|
I don't get it. I don't even know why I'm wrestling anymore. I guess I'm doing it for Lars? And he doesn't even care. I liked it better when I was doing it for you.
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| Amethyst
|
But who needs it, you know? I mean, I needed it when I felt like, ehh... I wasn't good enough. But I don't feel like that anymore. *eats the teabag* Do you?
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| Steven
|
No. No, that- that's never why I was doing it. I just, liked it was our thing we did together. But, you're right. Doesn't make sense anymore. I think I should just do what you did. Just tell everybody I'm quitting and... leave like it's no big deal.
|
| (Steven gets up and walks off. Amethyst looks down in slight regret.)
|
| [Trans. Ext. Abandoned Warehouse, Night-time]
|
| (Tiger Philanthropist stands alone in the ring, with the tag team belts hanging from the ceiling.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Ladies and gents. Tonight is a very special night here at the Beach City Wrestling Arena Dome and Building. I'll let my good friend Tiger Mill- I mean, Philanthropist explain.
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| Steven
|
Thank you Mr. Smiley.
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| Lars
|
*uninterested* What now?
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| Steven
|
Tonight will mark my greatest and finalist act of philanthropy. Tonight, I am giving away the Tag Team titles. Whoever can grab them first can have them.
|
| (The crowd begins booing at Tiger.)
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| Lars
|
Booooo! Philanthrophy is laaame!
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| Steven
|
Boo all you like! I don't care anymore! These belts don't mean anything to me! They never did.
|
| (The crowd keep booing at Tiger, when the Brothers Construction theme starts to play.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
I know that sound! It's the Brothers Construction! Concrete Heat and Chunk Truck! So sad to see Tiger giving up those belts without at least putting up a fight.
|
| (The Good-Looking Gang theme plays as they enter the warehouse as well.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
Oh no! It's Good-Looking Gang's music! They are back to finally claim the tag titles! Look like things are heating up on the ring, who'll be the next tag team champion!
|
| (A Puma's Roar is suddenly heard, as Purple Puma appears at the doorway.)
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| Amethyst
|
Whoa there, Tiger!
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| Steven
|
Amethyst?
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| Mr. Smiley
|
He's back! The legend has returned to the ring! PUUURPPPLE PUUUMAAA!!
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| Amethyst
|
Those belts aren't yours to give away! Those times we wrestled together meant everything to me! *jumps into the ring* You can give away all jungle bucks you want. But I will not stand by and let you give up our memories!
|
| (Purple Puma picks up Tiger Philanthropist and hugs him. The crowds "awws" and cheers.)
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Oh what a display, ladies and gentlemen.
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| Steven
|
You came back!
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| Amethyst
|
I'm sorry. This was our thing we did together and I just... quit on you!
|
| Steven
|
It's ok. You were right. We don't need this anymore.
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| Amethyst
|
Well, how do you wanna go out?
|
| Steven
|
With a bang!
|
| (Purple Puma and Tiger Philanthropist smile at each other, when Chunk Truck suddenly punches Purple Puma in the face.)
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| Mr. Smiley
|
It looks like this fight for the belt it's still on!
|
| (Purple Puma stumbles backwards and leans onto the ring ropes. Chunk Truck then grapples Tiger Philanthropist, leaving him open for Concrete Heat.)
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
The Brothers Construction look like they are ready letting down a foundation of pain! But, oh! Shark-o-Mania is back again! He's not even in the match!
|
| (Shark-o-Mania jumps into the ring and charges at Tiger, headbutting him while still in Chuck Truck's grasp.)
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
Tiger Philanthropist is down!
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| Lars
|
What?!
|
| (Shark-o-Mania and Concrete Heat grab and knock down Tiger Philanthropist and Purple Puma respectively. As they stand up, Chunk Truck punches Tiger, and Concrete Heat executes a Double Axe Handle on Puma.)
|
| Lars
|
*climbing into the ring* This isn't fair! Stop the match! They're gonna be destroyed!
|
| (A security guard grabs Lars and drags him away. Puma and Tiger kneel beaten-up in front of the Good-Looking Gang.)
|
| Steven & Amethyst
|
Finish it!
|
| (The Good-Looking Gang nod and they both deliver a kick right into Puma's and Tiger's face, knocking them out.)
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
No! The Good-Looking Gang hit the Star-Crossed Lovers on Puma and Tiger! This is their chance! The belts are hanging free and clear!
|
| (Puma and Tiger gaze at the Good-Looking Gang as they successfully retrieve the tag team belts, and pink and purple confetti begin raining upon them.)
|
| Mr. Smiley
|
They got it! It's official! The Good-Looking Gang are the new Beach City underground tag team wrestling champions! This is truly the end for Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma. What a way to go out!
|
| (Sadie keeps the warehouse door open, as the security guard escorts Lars outside the building.)
|
| Lars
|
How can this be happening! It was just getting good! You can't quit now! TIIIGEEERR!! *sobs*
|
| (The star iris closes on Puma and Tiger, as they wink at each other in content, ending the episode.)
|
| [END]
|
