Too Short to Ride/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of Too Short to Ride. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Mr. Greg"

Next: "The New Lars"

[The episode begins in the temple house with Steven presenting a gift for Peridot.]

Steven: Special delivery!

Peridot: Oh. Wow. Thanks.

(Peridot rips up the wrappings of the present.)

Peridot: It's a... a rectangle.

(Steven puts the flower bud from the wrapping on the side spike of Peridot's hair.)

Steven: And a tablet!

(Steven turns on the tablet for Peridot, who looks with interest.)

Steven: My dad bought it, but he decided he didn't need it. He said something about oversaturation of media being a plague to one's mind, so I thought you might like it. Here.

(Peridot is awe-struck with the tablet as Steven demonstrates what it does.)

Steven: You can use your fingers to work it.

Peridot: Like my old finger screens!

(Peridot is scrolling through the content apps on the tablet.)

Steven: But now you have the whole worldwide web to hang out on.

Peridot: Worldwide? Ha! I had the ability to search and retrieve data from across multiple star systems.

Steven: Hmm, impressive. But I can do you one better. TubeTube.

(Steven touches the TubeTube app icon and is directed to a cat video. Peridot questions the video with the cat yowling and why it was documented.)

Peridot: Why was this documented?

Steven: You can log your thoughts on the internet, too. You just have to keep it under 140 characters.

(Peridot is awe-struck once more.)

Peridot: That's so many people!

(Peridot continues to watch the video that is emitting clattering sounds and cat yowls.)

Steven: I can make you an account so you can start logging as soon as you want.

(Peridot chuckles in anticipation.)

Peridot: [Chuckles] I really, really like this, but it's a shame it doesn't come attached to your body. [Gasps] Oh wait!

(Peridot runs to the storage inside the stairs and looks through it.)

Steven: I'm gonna leave the profile stuff blank for you to fill in later. There.

(Peridot snatches the tablet out of Steven's hands.)

Peridot: Gimme!

(Peridot puts tape on the back of the tablet.)

Peridot: [Laughs] Behold! My innovation!

(Slow motion scene with Peridot showcasing her innovation.)

Peridot: CHA-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-CHA-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha. Haaaaa!

(puts tablet on tape and does various poses)

Peridot: Shing! Shing! Gwaaaaaaa! SHING, SHING! ... I've harnessed the power of your interlocking fabric strips.

Steven: [Chuckles] Good thing I grew out of those shoes.

Peridot: [Sigh] To have tech again. It feels good when everything is at your fingertips.

(Amethyst walks into the room.)

Amethyst: Yo. You guys look like you're having fun.

Peridot: Oh, Amethyst. (Shows innovation.) What do you think?

Amethyst: You look like a square.

Peridot: It's a rectangle.

Amethyst: Heh, truth. Anyway, you two ready to go or what?

Peridot: Go?

Steven: Yeah. Amethyst and I were gonna go out, and we wanted you to come, too.

Peridot: Hang out? Oh, yeah. That's a friend thing to do. So, where are we hanging out, friends?

[Transition scene to "Beach City Funland".]

Steven: Ta-da! Welcome to Funland!

Peridot: You brought me to a sign!

Amethyst: Nah, nah. You got to go inside.

(Steven, Amethyst, and Peridot watch a roller coaster ride by with people screaming.)

Peridot: [Chuckles] A speed pattern transportation circuit.

Steven: And a roller coaster.

Amethyst: You've got to do the most fun thing in Funland first.

Peridot: Hmm. Bold. Let's follow this logic!

(Steven, Amethyst, and Peridot run to the Appalachian ride as a bell dings in the background.)

Steven: Three, please.

Harold: Sure. We got some new rules, first.

(The trio gets their height measured to see if they are eligible to ride the Appalachian.)

Steven: Uh...

Amethyst: Uck.

Peridot: [Smiles widely.]

(Harold questions Peridot's real height from her hair, so he pushes it down to see her real height, which aggravated Peridot.)

Peridot: [Grunts from Harold's touch and throws a tantrum, flailing her arms in the air and growling.]

Harold: Ha-ha! Sorry, guys. Looks like this squad has some growing to do before you can ride.

Peridot: I do not have to grow. This height is indicative of my rarity and importance. I demand entry, you clod!

Harold: [Clears throat] You kids want another lifetime ban?

Steven: No thanks, Mr. Smiley.

Amethyst: Shorty Squad out.

(Steven, Amethyst, and Peridot leave the area with the Appalachian.)

Amethyst: Well, that stinks.

Steven: [Sigh] We'll just have to maintain a healthy lifestyle in hopes we grow before the end of the season.

Amethyst: (slaps forehead) Ugh. Of course. Let's just grow.

(Amethyst grows via shape-shifting.)

Steven: [Gasps] Shape-shifting!

(Steven shape-shifts his legs to grow longer. Peridot attempts transformation.)

Peridot: Hmm. [Grunting and sweating]

Steven: Uh, Peridot?

Peridot: [Stops grunting and breathes heavily.] Uh, I... I must be a little rusty. Why don't you two just go?

Steven: Aw, what?

Peridot: What?

Amethyst: You sure?

Peridot: Sure I'm sure. I can just look up what a roller coaster feels like. Just hurry up and go so you can hurry up and come back.

Amethyst: Oh, okay.

(Steven and Amethyst pass the measurement test and are eligible to ride the Appalachian. They had a lot of fun as Peridot watched from below.)

Amethyst: So good!

Steven: What next? What next?

Peridot: Yes. What next that doesn't have a height restriction?

Amethyst: Uh, there!

(Steven, Amethyst, and Peridot arrive at the House of Mirrors. Amethyst is messing around with the mirrors already.)

Amethyst: Ooh. [Giggles]

(Steven and Amethyst laugh at their own reflections from shape-shifting. Peridot is the exception. They exit the House of Mirrors for another area to travel to.)

Amethyst: Ha, this place is fun.

Steven: Yeah. It totally does live up to its name.

(Peridot googles "am I having fun?" which pops up the definition widget for "fun.")

Peridot: [Sighs]

Amethyst: Let's see who can eat the most chili dogs before we go on the Tilt-a-Whirl.

(Peridot stops at "RING SOME LOSE SOME" attentive to the alien figures one can win.)

Peridot: [Gasps] Steven, Amethyst! Look at this being. Its large head, swollen with thoughts! Those compassionate eyes. It understands. I need it. Now!

Steven: Peridot, that's a prize. You have to win it first.

(Steven rings the bell which calls Harold to the stand.)

Harold: (Runs to the stand) [Breathes heavily] [Grunts when climbing the table into the stand.] Hey there, Steven.

Steven: Mr. Smiley, you're working the ring toss, too?

Harold: Yeah. You can say we're a little "fun-derstaffed."

Steven: [Chuckles] I get it.

Harold: I'm glad you seeing the humor in it, Steven, because I haven't seen a bed in six days!

Steven: Oh. [Chuckles nervously.]

(Peridot grabs a ring and throws it at the bottles, but misses and hits something else.)

Peridot: I win!

Steven: Um, well...

Amethyst: You have to land the rings first, broski. Shorty Squad throw!

(The trio throw rings at the bottles to get one to score, to no avail, and to Harold's growing boredom.)

Amethyst: Okay, last chance. We got this.

(The trio throw each ring in unison, which all miss to Harold's pleasure from the trio's displeasure.)

Amethyst: This biz is rigged!

Peridot: I didn't save Earth for this.

Steven: Sorry, Peridot.

Amethyst: Hmm. No. We're gonna get you that prize. Hey, Mr. Smiley. Is that Onion trying to light the roller coaster on fire?

Harold: I'm not falling for that one again. Oh!

(Screams are heard in the distance which grabs Harold's attention. The camera zooms to Onion who is holding two cotton candy cones on fire next to the Appalachian.)

Harold: No! I'm still paying off the last lawsuit!

Amethyst: Heh, good old Onion.

(Amethyst extends her arm to drop the ring on the bottlenecks successfully.)

Harold: All this running around. I'm not even in a union.

Amethyst: Yo, Mr. S. While you were gone, Peri got a ring.

Peridot: I did?

Amethyst: We're lying.

Peridot: [Sweating.] Oh, uh, yes, I did land the ring. I also do not steal Steven's clothes when he's not looking.

Steven: What?

Harold: Huh. Would you look at that? And I thought this thing was rigged. Here you go, kid.

(Peridot opens her arms for a big alien figure, but Harold gives her an alien figure the size of her index finger.)

Harold: It's a little sister. [Laughs]

Peridot: Um, excuse me, but you're wrong. I'm supposed to win that one.

Harold: You mean the big guy? Sorry. That one's 10 rings.

(Peridot is upset from this explanation. She continues to wear it, however, as it is seen worn when Peridot tries to click away from a "find roommates" add on her tablet. Amethyst is eating a triple corndog stick combo in the meantime.)

Advertisement on the Tablet: Find cute roommates in your area.

Peridot: I'm all set, thanks.

Steven: That toy you won is really cool, Peridot.

Peridot: You mean that Amethyst won with shape-shifting. Maybe they should call it shape-shift land because it's a land where you go to shape-shift.

Amethyst: What's wrong with shape-shifting, bro?

Peridot: You mean besides being an insult to your intended form?

Amethyst: ... Okay, what's really wrong with it?

Peridot: I can't do it... at all.

Steven: Well, we can help you try.

Peridot: What?

Steven: I didn't ever think I could use my powers, either, but then the Gems helped me out. We can help you, too.

Amethyst: Yeah, man. [Munches the rest of the corndogs.] Mmm! We'll give you the shape-shifting lowdown.

(Amethyst gives Peridot a noogie.)

Amethyst: Shorty Squad style.

[Transition scene to the beach.]

(Steven and Amethyst perform various shape-shifting preparations before undergoing transformation. The first one is extending their tongue. The second one is Amethyst turning into a cat and Steven making a cat finger which quickly startles Steven. Meanwhile, Peridot uses her tablet to send "cheeps," chuckling in the process. The third is Amethyst turning into a ball and Steven extending his arms to catch Amethyst. Steven throws Amethyst onto the ground to make them bounce at Peridot. Peridot fails to catch Amethyst and gets a direct hit in the face which leaves her laying on the ground face first.)

Amethyst: Uh, okay. Maybe we just have to activate it manually. You grab her feet. I'll grab the arms.

Steven: Okay.

Amethyst: Ready? Pull.

(Steven and Amethyst grunt in unison. Peridot is in pain from the pulling.)

Peridot: Ow.

Steven: Is it working?

Peridot Ow.

Amethyst: I think so. Pull harder!

Peridot: Ow.

Steven: I think I just heard a crack

Peridot: Ow.

Amethyst: That's her powers opening, Steven.

Peridot: Ow, ow, ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Drop me now! [Grunts from hitting the ground.] This isn't going to work.

Steven: Maybe if we keep trying...

Peridot: No.

(Peridot walks to the shore of the beach.)

Peridot: My lack of skill is an objective fact. I'm an Era-2 Peridot. I am new. Resources are dwindling on Homeworld. They can't make Gems like they used to. That's why they give Era-2 Peridots technological enhancements because we... don't have powers.

Amethyst: Per, I'mma be really real with you for a sec. This whole time we've been here, you've just been focusing on what you can't do. Of course you're not having any fun. You think that all you are is who you could be, but we don't hang out with you because of who you could be. We like you.

(Peridot ignores Amethyst and continues using her tablet.)

Amethyst: I know you just heard me.

(Peridot continues the act. Showing frustration, she types fourteen "CLODS" to cheep.)

Amethyst: Stop playing with that thing. Ugh. Gimme that!

Peridot: No!

Amethyst: You don't need it!

Peridot: You don't know that!

Amethyst: Yes... I... Do!

Peridot: Wait! Wait-wait-wait-wai-w-w-w-wait!

(Amethyst throws the tablet to the ocean.)

Peridot: NO! IT'S ALL THAT I AM!

(Peridot pauses for a second, then notices she is conducting the tablet in mid-air.)

Steven: Peridot. Metal powers!

Amethyst: ... Dude.

Peridot: [Giggles]

(Peridot gestures the tablet to come back to her as Steven talks about the possible scenarios for Peridot's "metal powers.")

Steven: Do you know what this means? You can open really tight jars. You can remove staples without a staple remover. You can open doors without having to touch them after you wash your hands.

Peridot: No! I know exactly what I can do.

[Transition scene to the "RING SOME LOSE SOME" game in Funland.]

(Peridot uses her "metal powers" while Harold is sleeping to levitate and drop the ten rings onto the bottlenecks and win the "big alien.")

Peridot: 10! That's 10!

Harold: Wah! That's 10, alright! Well, I guess you won fair and square, or fair and triangle. [Laughs] Because your head looks like a triangle. Here you go, kid.

(Peridot and the big alien slide to each other. Peridot, with open arms, hugs the rewarded toy for a job well done.)

Steven: Hehe, You did it, Peridot.

Amethyst: Give it up for Pea-Pod!

(three blackout stars zoom in on the trio.)

Peridot: No, give it up for the Shorty Squad.

[The episode ends.]